Muffy you are far more generous than I. Maybe our regional weather is an a partial impact (H'ween is usually clear and in the high 50's or low 60's), but I don't think I'd leave the front doors open to "any and all" on Halloween. The inside is just for the parties at my house. As we seen in this thread, even with people you know, it's a significant challenge.
I learned several years ago that visitor flow is crutial to control. We had the Cave of courge up with additions each year for five or six years. In 05 the additions completely blocked the side exit to the driveway = you had to leave the same way you came in. The most narrow point was probably 5 feet because of monsters and displays along the side. Several times that year I opened the front door and could not see the street (normally a straight view of all 5 feet in width). I saw a mass of moving flesh and costume sort of surging. some coming, some going. Small kids in there could NOT have been enjoying the visit.
In 06 we re-opened the side exit and in 07 the Z shape actually added more flow control even though the path was more narrow. We will expand this in 08 with more path "guidance".
For sure we learn from our mistakes and as more people come to our haunts we have to keep up with what changes have to be made. This last season I was in the same boat as you all I could see out my front door was heads, I don't think the front door ever closed for the longest time. We were nervous because of all the CORDS (even tho they were covered) outside & no one out there to watch things, also all I had in help was my neighbors 8 yr. old & he took care of the fog machine in the cemetery which belonged to him & he kept the cd playing with our music outside. He is just wonderful...... works a lot w/ us thru the year building things.
To be honest this last season was the 1st time in all of my life & all of the big halloween stuff I did at my Diner ( we had live entertainemnt & hay rides too when I had the diner) that I felt like I really lost control of watching things. We were very lucky to say the least that nothing got stolen as I have many small trinkets along the route through the inside of my house.
After joining this forum that is where the idea came from to let them come inside the house & to be honest our inside was way more decorated than the outside but no one ever saw any of it. Thats when we all sat down & said ok in everything we have in the house if something disappears or gets broke how upset will we be.
So we decided to try it & I will tell ya what....it was just great...people enjoyed all that we did inside and the biggest complaint was that they had to go through to quick & it was hard to look at everything. For me it was overwhelmingly wonderful to see people enjoy themselves with their children like that. Many said>>>oh wait I have to go get my husband to see this. This last season of 2007 was crazy cause whole families came through along with aunts & grandma's.....man I loved it!! All these big smiles on everyones face.
I have a lot of inside decorations from when I had the diner ......people use to come from all over for any holiday as we decorated like crazy!
Sooner or later something will happen that most likely will make me feel different so that is why I'm going to try & get some help. In my haunt they make their way to the "Cadaver Cafe & Candykitchen", thats our house kitchen. In there they get their treat bag plus we have a commercial popcorn machine so the house smells like a theater. They get a big bag of fresh popcorn. This last season I was sick so I did not have time to bake but 2006 I baked all kinds of stuff and parents stood in the kitchen eating!!lol
This season we will give out caskets to the parents filled with the gourmet chocolates I make in my business and we will have a bride & bridal party handing out plates of cake & punch. I use to cater weddings & made cakes for the Miss Nebraska Pageants, so I'm gonna bake a big gothic wedding cake to go along w/ our deranged bride/funeral parlor scene. This last season people asked>>>>Oh no she didn't bake this year??lol Nobody seems afraid to eat here !!lol
So yes I too sat & looked at the setbacks from last season & I am trying to makes amends in those areas.....I guess we all can call it "Growing Pains", as I have read many a posts on here about haunts that continue to grow. I was going to do some marketing of my haunt this year but we have decided to wing it one more year w/ the locals before we start promoting outside of our community boundaries. I honestly have 5 tablets I keep notes in of plans for upcoming seasons. We have a huge yard so the potential outside is enormous. Halloween is my biggest hobby & I devote time to it when I am not working at making chocolates! This forum is the right place for lunatics such as myself!!!lol
And beware, cause if ya hang in here........decorating is contagious with all these people!!
I envy your large front yard too. The larger canvas upon which to create.
We live on the side of a hill - great view, but high cost per sq ft. So we all have smaller yards. Good and bad I guess. Bad because of the ultimate buildout limitation for the haunt. Good, because it forces me to have lots of stuff to see in a small area. Lots of this stuff is small and must be tempting to little hands (glow in dark spiders, lizzards, scorpions, etc). However, in the 15 years we've been growing this haunt, not one item has been taken by anyone. I more proud of my visitors than I am of my haunt.
I have had my house open for 20 years, every night(almost) but usually things disappear in October. The first few Halloweens I was upset by this because the things they were taking were things I had made, not bought. Several hours worth of effort and original ideas went out the door to never return and I have a show here consisting of collections of MY STUFF!
Of course over 20 years people would return to fill in some of the blanks for me, telling me about friends who were cleptos who suffered losses much greater than I did as they stole here and then really bad things happened to happen to them.....Wrecked the brand new Chevy S-10 on the way home with a little trinket of mine in his pocket. His friend had warned him to not take it, return it, the Ravens Grin Deer threw itself against his speeding truck, totaling the truck.
I drew a cartoon of the space aliens hidden beside the road with a deer in a big slingshot, waiting for the next car.
One guy had one of my homemade videos, his house burnt down....
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No offense, you seem to be a nice couple, but the guy sounds like a dumbass. Dont lose sleep over it. You can always mention you'd rather he didnt come anyway since you two just got a new coffee table.
I have a question for those of you who've thrown an Adults Only party...
First off, our last Halloween party was the first No-Kids-Allowed one we'd thrown, and I was SHOCKED at how low some of the moms had sunk in their attempts to guilt me into making an exception for their kids. I thought it was pretty crappy for someone who claims to be a friend tell me, after months of planning and hard work, plus untold- amounts of money, what to do at MY party.
So my question to you is: Have you lost, or at least had a strain put upon, a friendship due to this issue?
I'm replying really late, but to answer the question: yes, I have never heard from one person since the party invitations went out ('04). She didn't even bother with the guilt trip. Just - poof! It was like she never knew me.
At the time, only one person invited had a child. I knew it might be an issue, since the party was on a Sunday (even if she had her daughter that weekend, she'd have to get her back that evening), but I invited her, including a little note in the pre-invite (late August) saying that I hoped this gave her enough time to arrange a sitter.
I'm really torn about upcoming parties. I love kids' parties, and have been toying with the idea of an afternoon carnival-style party, but really want to do a scary adult party as well. Since we don't have kids the latter makes much more sense. Is it our fault if none of the parents of the kids in our lives won't have a Halloween party?
Sorry to hear about your friend. That truly stinks.
As for your question, I'd do what makes you happiest. You are, after all, the one doing all the work and you deserve to enjoy the party too, no?
Just remember - you can't please everyone. Now go have fun!
Thanks. Obviously, she wasn't such a great friend to just disappear like that. (I tried to get in touch later, but she just ignored my approaches.) I was actually expecting an argument from her, because she was the type to take her daughter everywhere.
When we're in the position to actually have the party, I can worry about it then. I get a little silly about Halloween, in that I love it and want everyone else to love it, and they just don't. As much as I love the idea of a kid's party, it just makes no sense for me to throw one. Maybe I'll alternate between adult-only and everyone's-welcome parties.
I'm still sorry for resurrecting an old thread; however, I thought there were some really great suggestions here. I agree absolutely that the hosts have to think about all the guests, plus -- hey, it's their party. The responses along the lines of, "we're sorry you can't make it then," are the best ones. I'd have a similar response if a child-hating friend (fictional) wanted me to dis-invite all the kids for the family-friendly party.
I know this is an old thread but I thought I would chip in (better late than never, right?)
Last year my mum and I threw an adults-only party. Since pretty much everyone we invited were adults with no children or grown-up children, we didn't expect there to be an issue. The only people to consider were my brother & his wife, who relish the chance to have a night away from their toddlers, so that was fine, and my stepsister & her husband. My mum was very clear when she invited them (2 months in advance) that it was an adult's only party with drinking and adult games so it would not be appropriate to bring their 7 year old daughter and to make other arrangements for her. They said it would be fine, that she would stay at her friend's house that night.
So, day before the party, we get a phonecall saying that they are bringing their daughter because the sleepover has fallen through and they have nowhere else to take her. My mum and stepdad tried to explain that this was an adult-only party and there would be no children for her to play with and that she was too young to participate in the drinking games etc. Well, my stepsister is a handful at the best of times - she constantly falls out with her dad over the slightest thing, and she is very controlling. At the hint that perhaps if they couldn't find a sitter, they should come another time, she went mental at him and said that she had bought and prepared over £50 worth of party food and bought all the paper plates, napkins etc.
We were shocked to say the least - we had not asked her to do any of this?? Anyway, needless to say they caved in to prevent a family feud and they ended up bringing their daughter. To make matters even worse, my other brother decided to invite his work friend, who didn't RSVP, so not only did we not account for him but we certainly did not account for his wife and 2 very young children!!! They all turned up in costume and my mum was livid but couldn't turn them away. So we ended up with 3 young children running around bored out of their minds whilst their parents allowed them to get into everything. My stepsister's daughter is quite well-behaved but the other guy's kids were a nightmare. My mum had to tell him off several times for breaking things/making a mess and he was very rude - he kept buzzing round me and my friends and being quite spiteful at times and generally quite obnoxious.
Urgh. Needless to say, we won't be inviting my brother's workfriend to any future parties *rolls eyes*.
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Nobody likes you when your dead. It just ain't right.
Just 'cause I'm biting on your head, there's no need to be impolite,
An' if I still had eyes, then I would surely cry,
Nobody likes you when you're dead, An' that's the story of my life...
I like it (not really) when people call up to tell you they're bringing other people -- more adult guests, kids that shouldn't be there, whatever. Reasonable people do one of two things: call and ask if it's okay (and take whichever response) or call and say they can't make it. Depending on the formality, of course: the first one really shouldn't be done if it's a catered event like a wedding reception or other head-count type thing.
It's tough when you're co-hosting something and the other person caves, or just starts inviting random people! I think my husband might say that he had to check with his wife first, but I know that's not always the case. Heck, I had another family member (not a co-host) tell people "sure! bring the kids!" to our mostly no-kids wedding reception (our niece & nephews were invited, but that was it -- long story). I would agree that cow-orker shouldn't be invited back, but everyone should also know that it's not cool to just invite people at the last minute.
Years ago, I had an incident where I was "stuck" with a teenager (my goddaughter) while on my way to an adult-only party. I called the hostess and told her the situation, and offered to escort the rest of the guests (from out of town) and then go, and she told me to bring my goddaughter & stay as long as I swore I'd keep her away from the drunks and out of trouble in general. A couple brought their young son (~8), although it was clearly an adult party, and just let him run wild. Our hostess was NOT amused. (We didn't stay long, and my group hung out in the garage pretty much the whole time. Goddaughter thought she had her own entourage.)
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