This is our first party, and we really wanted it to go well. We're decorating the hell out of the place, and Dh is thrilled that he gets to use some of his scary props since we generally don't do scary stuff outside for the TOTs.
We invited a reasonable amount of people and set the start time for 8 pm. Most of our friends don't have small children or any at all, but we did mention that it was an adults party, and there would be drinking and such.
One friend of my DH's that we don't really socialize with at all popped up recently, and DH decided to invite him, even tho they don't hang out together at all anymore. I warned him that friend was the type that thinks it's fine to drag his two small children everywhere, no matter what the time or the venue, so to expect him to ask to bring the kids.
I don't dislike children, but seriously, 4-5 year olds don't need to be out until 1 am or later (they live over an hour away, so factor in driving time!) or go everywhere their parents go! If they were babies, I could see it, as most of them can sleep anywhere, but we're talking one kindergardener and one 4 year old.
So call me Madam Frankie, cause I was right. Friend emailed back that him and his wife are coming, and was it okay to bring the kiddos.
DH told him that the party was not going to be kid-friendly, (scary/gory stuff and no other kids) and that we would love to have friend and wife, but would understand if they couldn't make it without the kids.
If/when Dh and I decide to have children, then we may have a kid-friendly party, but we don't and we're not. If they can't come without the kids, that's too bad, but I shouldn't have to adjust or scale back just because someone wants to bring their kids. Nothing wrong with kids, just not the venue Dh and I were going for - and yet I feel a tiny bit guilty for discouraging the bringing of children.
Anybody else (that actually got through this long-winded vent) have to deal with this?
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Did he ask "is it okay?" or did he say "we're bringing the kids."...?
If the former, I don't see a problem. Some parties are kid-friendly, others aren't. Finding out which kind this one is should be just an exchange of information. If you already told him so in the invitation, he's being obtuse, but as long as he accepts it gracefully when you reconfirm your plans, no big deal.
If he's turning it into an issue, that's not okay.
If he feels like he can't afford the babysitter, that's his issue, not yours. It's a legitimate reason to decline, but not something you need to feel guilty over.
Don't worry to much about that. If they were younger like 2 or 3, then you'd have to worry more because they would touch EVERYTHING. Not sure what their kids are like. Hopefully the parents are considerate enough to tell their kids off if they look like they're going to break something.
If they bring the kids, they will likely leave by 9:00 at the latest. Kids at that age get tired really fast at that time.
Did he ask "is it okay?" or did he say "we're bringing the kids."...?
If the former, I don't see a problem. Some parties are kid-friendly, others aren't. Finding out which kind this one is should be just an exchange of information. If you already told him so in the invitation, he's being obtuse, but as long as he accepts it gracefully when you reconfirm your plans, no big deal.
If he's turning it into an issue, that's not okay.
If he feels like he can't afford the babysitter, that's his issue, not yours. It's a legitimate reason to decline, but not something you need to feel guilty over.
Good luck with your party!
He asked "is it okay to bring the kiddos?" but this is with a notation in the email invite that it was an adult party, and the start time at 8 pm. Asking to bring the kids to everything is a standard thing with him, and he actually is pretty dumb with picking up on stuff.
Thanks for the insight - friend probably just assumed if he asked, it wouldn't hurt. It doesn't help that I'm not really that fond of him.
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Don't worry to much about that. If they were younger like 2 or 3, then you'd have to worry more because they would touch EVERYTHING. Not sure what their kids are like. Hopefully the parents are considerate enough to tell their kids off if they look like they're going to break something.
No, they are pretty careless parents, and have no respect for other people's stuff. They would NOT be supervising the kids... we've had them over before and the friend actually damaged my brand new coffee table by throwing his huge keyring onto it from across the room. He pays no attention to his kids, and leaves it up to the wife, who is a mouse.
We have things like bloody body parts, life-size anamatronics and the only bathroom is going to be rigged up as a murder scene, (blood, blacklights, and sobbing woman sound effects) so if they bring the kids, it's going to tramatize them even if they are well-behaved.
See, I don't want to worry about kids there at all, supervised or not. It's our house, so I would think that they would respect our wishes and either come without kids or not come at all.
Is that too much to ask?
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I'm a Halloween Bride!
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Where there is no imagination there is no horror.
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Maybe I'm a bit of a bitch, but I would be very blunt in telling him the kids aren't welcome. If he was told when he was invited that it was an adult party, then he shouldn't even be asking.
I had friends this year that wanted to bring their kids, and I said no, but I invited them over on another day to visit with the kids and a warning that I had some gorey.scary decorations.
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Sheesh, he sounds like a big kid himself. Are you sure you want to invite him at all?
No, you are right. It is your house and your party. You get to set the rules. Hopefully he was just being clueless.
The only thing I can think to suggest is making the wording in the invitation very clear: instead of "Adult party" say "Please, no children" or maybe "this event will not be appropriate for children." Possibly include the reasons why, but some people take explanations as an invitation to argue. ("Oh, no, my kids can handle it...")
Maybe I'm a bit of a b****, but I would be very blunt in telling him the kids aren't welcome. If he was told when he was invited that it was an adult party, then he shouldn't even be asking.
I had friends this year that wanted to bring their kids, and I said no, but I invited them over on another day to visit with the kids and a warning that I had some gorey.scary decorations.
ITA, with people like that, you have to be blunt. It might make your husband uncomfortable having to be like that, but it's better than having your party spoiled by selfish folks too cheap to find a babysitter. Also, I like the offer of coming over at another time, it gives both sides an out.
Unless you could find a mutual friend that you could arrange for them to drop their kids off with - but that's really going above and beyond, and it doesn't sound like these friends are close enough to warrant it.
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Long Tom said it best...."your house, your party". I think you cite the alcohol, gory deco and time frame as reasons kids are not welcome. "Maybe we can get together some other time".
Wash your hands of it and don't let it ruin YOUR good time.
Figures after I gave my two cents earlier, I now have a somewhat related problem. My husband's friends have a 7-month-old so they have asked us to come at 5 pm and leave at 7 pm, the actual start time of the party. 5 pm is when I start really getting ready for the party, including food preparation, so I don't know what to do. Those two hours are critical party prep time. : ( My husband already told them that I will likely be running around and won't be able to sit down to entertain them. My neighbor has a Pack and Play playpen that she can lend to me. I'm hoping that they can just put the baby to sleep in it at 7 pm (her normal bedtime) so they don't have to come to early and they can stay for the party.
Anyone have experience with a 7-month-old baby? Do they take a long time to fall asleep if they're not in their regular surroundings?
Adult party, but one guest wants to bring kids!
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