# Post your funny haunted house story



## GraveyardQueen (Jul 9, 2011)

Dying to hear more. All of the ones I've heard are about you and the family hehe.


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## killerhaunts (Jan 6, 2010)

*Sorry, I don't really have anything funny. I am the one who puts on the haunt with not-so-reliable volunteers and always get stressed out for the fisrt half of the haunt until I get the actors doing what I want. Too many times they scare them so hard they break my haunt! Or they try to touch the patrons!*


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## Frightmarehomehaunt (Mar 30, 2011)

In 2010 this girl who was really freaked out punched my actor in the face and then later the same actor got kicked in the stomach...haha


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## Saruman of Many Colours (Sep 8, 2010)

Not related to a haunt, but rather to a guided, walking "ghost tour" in Edinburgh back in summer '08.

The guide (a petite college-age young woman who tried her best to put on a solemn face) led our group by candlelight down the hill toward an old church -- drawing a blank on the name right now? As we entered through the open cemetery gates, we passed near one of the benches, where a homeless man was sleeping or otherwise just laying there.

So we go into the graveyard. The guide has us all gather 'round and she proceeds to tell a spooky tale, with the candle held close to and uplighting her face. Towards the end of her story, the homeless man interrupts her, walking into the midst of our group and asks if he can light his cigarette.

She says no. He leans in anyway, real close. She leans back, trying to keep the candle flame away from him. But he's persistent, so there's some tugging back-and-forth on her hand holding the candle. Finally, she gives this exasperated sigh, and lets him light the cigarette.

He wanders off . . . And then she tries to resume the ghost story where she'd left off, but most of us in the group are still laughing.


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## Spookerstar (Jun 3, 2011)

killerhaunts said:


> *Sorry, I don't really have anything funny. I am the one who puts on the haunt with not-so-reliable volunteers and always get stressed out for the fisrt half of the haunt until I get the actors doing what I want. Too many times they scare them so hard they break my haunt! Or they try to touch the patrons!*


Sometimes I dream of having my own haunt and then I think it would make Halloween just another job. Sorry! Hope this year you have a better year!


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## HauntedHorror (Aug 8, 2006)

One year my friends and I went to a haunted house at a local pool. When I got to the exit, a guy with a chainsaw came running out behind us to scare us. My friends ran screaming away, but I just calmly walked out so he ran up to me and put the chainsaw right up close to my lower leg. I just said "Hey, I need that leg" and kept walking at my regular pace. 

Another haunted house I went to was a military sort of theme (Silo X) and so they had a lot of actors running around dressed in camo with messed-up faces like zombies or something. One guy came up and tried really hard to scare my sister and I, but he was wearing glasses and it kinda took away from the scary aspect, so I just said "I've never seen a ghoul with glasses!" (I think he growled and roared at us and then left.)

For some reason I always unintentionally tend to make jokes while going through haunted houses...
Last time I went with one friend we kept asking the "monsters" if they would be our friends. Like a "monster" pops out to scare us and our reaction is, "Hey can I be your friend?" One of the monsters was going to everyone and asking them to stay with him (to scare people) but my friend and I just agreed and said sure we'd love to stay, can we? LOL


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## Spats (Sep 21, 2006)

Couple of stories...

Me and my teenage friends are all dressed up. I'm Indiana Jones.
We go to a great haunted house put on by the local Boy Scouts in Texas - big sucker, old abandoned train depot in the middle of a field, hay ride to get there, hot food vendors, great show.
The entrance is a cube, a room designed to take in the crowd and then lower them down to the basement entrance, but the room distracts you from the lowering sensation by lowering the ceiling a few feet.
Neat gimmick.
Ceiling starts to lower, small chinese boy with his parents immediately begins bawling me out..
"You said stand against the wall! I no touch anything!"

Second story...
Was running a haunt for the City of Edmond, OK out at Lake Arcadia, a walk through some the darkest, nastiest woods in the region. People loved it, had a ton of customers, made good money for the off-season.
The last night a squall line is moving in from the northwest, a rolling coil of lightening and thunder and torrential rain, but it is just growling a few miles away over the treeline when a group rushes up.
Please, can we go? We can make it if we hurry.
One of the guides (my wife) says okay, we can try, and proceeds to lead them into the trees, lantern in hand.
She makes it ten yards in when the Park Manager steps out of the dark - wearing a yellow rain slicker with the hood up.
He intends to tell her there is no way they can go on, and we need to refund these folks and get them under shelter.

He never gets a chance.

He stepped out right in front of the guide, my wife, who knew every inch of the haunt and knew no one was stationed there.
She let out a single animal-terror scream and abandoned the group at full speed.
The group screamed in response, and ran for their cars.

We had to flag them down in the wind and the rain to give them their money back, as well as explain to each car what had happened and to not call the police.

Final note - storm was bad, blew through the park for over an hour. Most of the actors and techs got inside, but a squad of seven zombies plus the Grim reaper had to abandon the cemetery and pack themselves into a hearse we were renting for a scene.


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## The Red Hallows (Sep 21, 2009)

I needed a good laugh tonight. Thanks guys.


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## ZombieRaider (May 18, 2008)

7-8 year old boy walks into my cemetery leading the way...."That ain't scary, that ain't scary either"....cue air cylinder screaming zombie pop up from behind tombstone-watch boy high tail it back behind mom...."now THAT was scary......ZR


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## ZombieRaider (May 18, 2008)

Local haunted house had the Big Crazed Maniac in a cage- "WHEN I GET OUT OF HERE, I'M GOING TO RIP YOU INTO TINY PIECES AND FEED YOU TO THE RATS !!!!".....little girl in our group says "That's what you said last night" he never breaks character and booms back "YEAH WELL I MEAN IT THIS TIME !!!".....Of course the whole group is laughing by then.....ZR


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## jadewik (Dec 6, 2007)

I have a few stories from the past few years... I'll go newest to oldest.

*Story 1*
This past year, my husband got sick on Halloween-- so we bailed on setting up the garage. (I don't set up my decorations untill Halloween because I don't want them stolen. I also don't want to haggle with my HoA on what is and isn't appropriate.) I did still want to do something, so I dug in my box of Halloween costumes past and pulled out my grim reaper costume (with blank one-way see-through black fabric for the "face"), and set up some lights, spiderweb and the fogger by the door. Kids would ring the doorbell and I'd set off the fogger and lights then open the door, skull in hand. To add to the illusion, I didn't speak and did mostly hand-gestures... One kid was a hoot. I opened the door and he jumped about a foot in the air.

Then he proceeded to point at me and repeat, "I'm not scared of you. Dad, I'm not afraid of him. I'm not afraid of you!" 

*Story 2*
Waaaay back at the turn of the century, when I was in college, I used to do what I called "Reverse Trick-or-Treating" (they call it "Boo'ing" now... ). I lived in the dorms and would go trick-or-treating door-to-door... only instead of getting candy, I would GIVE candy. Once again, I wore my grim reaper costume and did not speak. I had a friend with me to explain the whole "take candy" concept.

Anywho, we went into a couple different dorms-- I visited a friend's dorm and he happened to have college football players in his wing. We knocked on the door, my friend explained about taking candy... but one of the college football players was freaking out and refused to take candy from me. "Who are you? I can't see your face. Naw, man. I ain't takin' your candy." 

It was pretty funny seeing this BIG +200lb linebacker freaking out because someone in a mask wanted to give him some chocolate.

Now, this was during the whole Anthrax scare and I had wanted to dump powdered sugar in my bucket of candy. I'm glad I nixed that idea.... I think that fellow would have called the cops on me!

*Story 3*
This one isn't really funny, but in 2004 I had to work Halloween night at the college campus mini-mart where I worked. I was really bummed, but I put together a pirate themed costume, which I wore to work. ("Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl" had just come out.) I also made pirate name-tags with piratey nick-names for all my co-workers... and gave them all eye patches. I even brought in a little cauldron of candy to hand out mini-candybars to my favorite customers and polite customers. (The night shift on campus was kinda slow after 6pm.)... but the kicker? I had PNEUMONIA... but I'll be damned if I was going to let that ruin my Halloween!!

*Story 4*
My frosh year of college, I got invited to go with a group of students to Nightfall-- a local Haunt-thing. It was a big mixed-bag of people-- older and younger (think 18-29 y/o), girls and fellas.

I had a complete BLAST! All evening, I was laughing and ooo'ing and ahhh'ing. It was the first time I'd done a big production Halloween and being in a group, you had a lot of things to play off of... it also helped there were some in our group who easily scared. Soo... we decide to go in the big haunted house.

They had our group wait to put some space between us and the group ahead of us (to give actors time to re-set their positions). Then, they let us inside the haunt. Well, somehow... har, har... the guys hung back and some of the girls who scared easily ended up in the front. (I was in the middle going through the haunt like it was an art museum.) Then, I ended up stopping because the girls at the front of our group had stopped and ran back.

Why? Because the "scary guy" ahead of us had poked his head around a blind corner and started asking, "Did you see it?!"

This freaked the girls out. They wanted someone else to go first. So, I went up there-- "See what? What am I supposed to see?" (I really did want to see it-- whatever it was!) I apparently freaked the girls out even more by talking to the scary guy. And just as I was starting to get frustrated because the guy wouldn't tell me what cool thing I'd missed, the chainsaw fired up at the back of the whole group.

A stampede ensued as the chainsaw fellow pushed the group forward-- the scared girls were freaking out because they were "trapped" between a chainsaw and a scary guy.... Ultimately, there was full blown panic as the group fled to the next section of the haunt. (This was probably the best part of the night for the haunt actors!) 

This is one of my fondest Halloween memories because it was so fun. =)


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## HauntedHorror (Aug 8, 2006)

Oh yeah I thought of another funny story... I went to a haunted house with some friends, it was held at a local church/school but it was pretty well done. When you first enter, they have a room with a casket and a guy to tell you the rules. While they were listing the rules, the whole time there was a guy dressed as Jason standing behind me... He kept trying to get me to turn around so he could scare me, but he wouldn't actually talk (I guess he was trying to stay in character) so he kept shuffling around, stamping his feet, etc trying to make enough noise to get me to react. I completely ignored him the whole time the rules were being read (except for laughing when he stomped his feet because it reminded me of a kid throwing a tantrum) and then when the door was opened so we could move forward and we were about to go on I turned around and suggested that it might be scarier if he went, 'Ch-ch-ch-ah-ah-ah' (like the background sounds in the Friday the 13th movies.) 


Jadewik you sound like me... Except I always like to go first in haunted houses because 1) If you're in the back of a group you miss some scares or just get the tail-end 2) If you're in the back you get 'warned' before things happen so it's not as fun 3) I like to walk slowly to make the trip last longer and look at all the props and make sure I don't miss anything, and when I let other people go first they end up walking really fast because they're scared. It's also fun to go in front because I'm kinda small and look young so the actors probably think they can scare me easily, but they can't!
Half the time in the haunts, my friends are pushing me to try to speed me up (or to try to run because they're scared) but I refuse to go too fast LOL


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## jadewik (Dec 6, 2007)

HauntedHorror-- I usually start out in the front of a group and somehow end up in the back... I'm going too slow that I get bypassed. When I do get startled because I'm first, I actually speak to the actors, "Oh, Dear! You startled me." Not scared, mind you-- I just jump because I'm distracted by all the cool Halloween props. I get tired of apologizing after a while and I just start checking all the blind corners so I can find the actors before I enter a room-- that way, I can focus on the cool props. Haha.

I did go to Halloween Horror Nights this past year and the group I was with wanted to go through the SAW haunted house. I ran through that because I don't like gore.... and it smelled like sewage in the haunt. Ugh. Cool props, though.

Did have a funny moment in one of the scare zones-- posed outside the Freaks area with a friend of mine. We were doing the whole "Oooooh I'm scared" pose in front of the sign... what we didn't know was there was a fellow done up as a three-headed ghoul behind us when we got our photo taken. The next photo, is just me leaning away from the fellow-- my friend isn't even in the frame! Haha. That was funny. =)


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## dawn408 (Aug 14, 2008)

It wasn't funny when it happened but now when I look back on it I have to laugh. When I had a pro-haunt someone pooped in the black out maze. We didn't notice until the smell was everywhere. We kept checking with flashlights but couldn't find where the smell was coming from. When we closed for the night and turned the lights on we found it. The guests had been tracking it all over the haunt on their shoes. It took me hours to get all of it cleaned up.


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## mystic manor (Sep 28, 2009)

When my wife and I first started dating (several years ago), I took her to a haunted house. During one of the scenes, she and an actor bumped heads. Now the story is funny for two reasons. First, I'm not used to seeing an actor break character and apologize -- "Boo! I'm sorry...are you alright?" Later that night, as our date continued, she noticed that I kept looking at her with a fleeting glance. I tried to not be obvious, but I noticed a long streak of grey in her dark hair (think Lily Munster). Since we just started dating, I didn't want to be rude and keep staring, but it didn't seem right. I kept thinking that I would have noticed the grey streak in her hair earlier on, but wasn't sure. Finally, as she passed by a mirror, she noticed the long streak. Evidently, the actors makeup rubbed off on her when they bumped heads. This year she states she wants us to dress up as the Munsters for Halloween.


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## Witchful Thinking (Jun 3, 2011)

Spats said:


> Couple of stories...
> 
> Me and my teenage friends are all dressed up. I'm Indiana Jones.
> We go to a great haunted house put on by the local Boy Scouts in Texas - big sucker, old abandoned train depot in the middle of a field, hay ride to get there, hot food vendors, great show.
> ...


So great! This really made me laugh - I love moments like that, its what haunting is all about. Thanks for sharing!


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## Witchful Thinking (Jun 3, 2011)

My sister and I go every year together despite the fact that each year for the last 5 it has been more and more difficult to make ourselves go because we get so scared. I can stand in line completely rational knowing no harm will come to me in the haunt but somehow once I get inside my brain just completely buys into it!

About 4 years ago we go to the haunt and it was like they had looked into our past at every childhood fear and recreated that in the haunt (fantastic!) after many rooms of this ratcheting up our fear we come to a room with a clown in it and and the only escape is to climb into this old empty refrigerator (my parents told us so many times as kids never to play in old abaondoned refrigerators...why I am not sure...some kids had died in one a long time ago I guess but we never once saw one until this moment). 

So we climb in scared out of our minds and the back opens into another room where something jumps out at us and my sister absolutely loses her mind. hehe..we still giggle about it now. She tries to take off running while still holding on to me with a death grip but her shoe hooks the bottom of a wheelchair in the room dragging it out and making her trip. As she falls she starts screaming "I'm going down - I'm going down!!" as though we are in combat and I might accidentally leave her behind. Before I know what is happening I start falling because she still has me in a death grip and I land on the wheelchair. At this point all the actors in the area rush in asking if we are ok and trying to be helpful but this just scares us more and we start trying to belly crawl out of the room. We finish the haunt and have a laugh in the parking lot. I ended up with a pretty good gash on my leg but it was totally worth the memory! 

We often end up after a haunt feeling like we have survived something and screamed our hearts out...its very cathartic. Thank you to all of you who put so much effort and thought into your haunts!


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## boo who? (Feb 28, 2005)

ZombieRaider said:


> 7-8 year old boy walks into my cemetery leading the way...."That ain't scary, that ain't scary either"....cue air cylinder screaming zombie pop up from behind tombstone-watch boy high tail it back behind mom...."now THAT was scary......ZR


Reminds me of a boy about 8-9 TOTing at my haunt with his 6 year old brother.. Dad waited on the street while the boys cautiously approached my house. With each step, Older Brother said, "I'm not scared. I'm not scared. I'm not scared."

As they drew nearer to the door, he pushed Little Brother ahead of him.

"OK... You go first."


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## sumrtym (Aug 16, 2008)

I've got a bad leg I fractured going out for cross country back in High School. The smaller femur bone just below my left knee has an inch long interior section that never hardened into bone. Going through a local Haunted House two years ago, there's a confusing place trying to figure out which way to go....you actually have to turn to the "EXIT" sign to find stairs going up beside it. I know this section is monitored by video camera and the operator in the control room watching us when we couldn't figure it out for a minute or two slammed a pneumatic crocodile into my bad leg, hitting me hard enough and with enough force to push me me over a foot from where I was standing, that's how far the prop came into me. My leg was killing me for a week and if I was more familiar with the layout of the behind the scenes, I'd have found that operator and returned the favor with my fist.

This was supposed to be funny ones, but that one burns in my mind still today. I know it's all on tape and I seriously considered informing one of the many cops in that area outside and suing the dang place. There was just no call for it, and slamming a powerful pneumatic into someone on purpose should have some big consequences.


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## acfink (May 31, 2010)

Very very funny. thanks everyone


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## runmikeyrun (Oct 7, 2008)

My ex gf was an embalmer. Nothing scared her, she never screamed on roller coasters or in haunted houses... except in the clown rooms. It was really funny to watch this tough tattooed metal chick crumple into a corner screaming and crying!! It was hilarious.

I worked several seasons in various haunted houses. I had people pass out and pee themselves which was always funny, but my favorite one was when I was acting as Freddy Krueger. I was in a boiler room setup, and when people left the room the exit took a sharp left turn into a black hallway. The room wasn't too brightly lit to begin with so it was hard to see the 90 degree left turn to get down that hallway. People would enter the room and look at the boiler scene to the left side, then I came out from behind them on the right side as they were passing me. About 5 or 6 high school football players came into my room (they were all wearing their jerseys) and I came out behind them as usual. The freaked and took off running in a train. The first guy of course didn't make the left turn and hit the wall running full speed. The rest all piled on behind him. It was too much for the 1/2" plywood wall to bear and they all went tumbling through it! That was the hardest i've ever laughed while acting.


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## Gym Whourlfeld (Jan 22, 2003)

I saw an electrically motivated Mummy charge about 5 feet and knock a middle-aged woman flat like a linebacker knocking down a blocker. She never saw it coming but then who expects to have this happen as you are walking passed a table at the Transworld Halloween Convention?
It was a slow day, the guy sitting at the Mummy table was looking down, or maybe she was slightly out of his line of vision for a second or two.. "Wham!" Gotcha!
She probably would have fumbled the football if she had been carrying one.


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## Gym Whourlfeld (Jan 22, 2003)

I used to use a carpeted crawlspace for the customers, one night the last young man to exit from it asked if I had a cat? Then he held up his one hand to the light, cat feces was smeared on his hand (it wasn't as fresh as it could have been) Somehow, sometime Mr. Tuxedo had access to this area.
"Oh, I'm sorry, I'll take you to the washroom so you can clean that off."
He was looking at his hand very closely now, he hesitated , then he said that unforgettable sentence:"No, it's Ok."
He left it on his hand!?
Later telling about this oddity I would say:"If the fad of walking around having cat feces smeared on your hand ever happens, remember, it didn't begin in California or the East coast, it started right here in Illinois at the Ravens grin Inn!"


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## Gym Whourlfeld (Jan 22, 2003)

At nearly the end of a busy October night my 5 or 6 helpers were all sitting in my front room when two more showed up for the tour.
I had my guys go out and around and pretend to be customers to be with this small group. I also gave them some special instructions for their mission wish they followed correctly, even though I didn't know for sure what would happen.
All was normal in the front room, everyone was seated, I was talking about the house's haunted history, then I said the one predetermined code word I don't recall it now, it was a very plain, un-aggressive word like "Pancakes"? 
"Pancakes!"
On that cue my help all screamed, jumped up and ran from the room!
... as did the real customers!!!
Now what do you do for an encore? You just scared them with total idiotic nonsense, can it get any better? No.


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## MissMandy (Apr 18, 2011)

Great stories everyone! The only real funny thing I can remember was about 15 years ago. My little brother, then 4 or 5 years old, went up to one actor who was dressed as Michael Myers and asked for his autograph LOL.


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## Thorn Kill Creek (Oct 9, 2008)

One year I was a youth leader at our church and I took our youth group (11 to 17 year olds) to a Hell House haunt. There was about ten of us total, guys and girls. The first part we load onto an actual school bus and the scene is we get stuck on a railroad crossing. People are outside smacking the windows and shaking the bus. Inside actors jump out from behind the seats while everyone is distracted. So by the time we're ushered out the back door the kids are so scared I'm having to lead the way. Our guide is a young college girl talking and walking backwards. We get to no more than the second inside room, and two or three monsters jump out in a strobe light room. The kids behind me start screaming. Now I'm a big guy 6'2" 265lbs. These kids start pushing forward trying to get away from the actors. I'm laughing and actually start being pushed forward across the room. Then I'm leaning back to slow us, but it's not working. I look up as we head for a wall straight ahead the doorway is off to the left. Through strobe flashes I see our young guides face change flash to flash as she realizes our group is about to flatten her against the wall. The whole time I'm still laughing. I finally get some traction and stop us just short of the guide. The rest of the haunt was great. The kids screaming the whole way through. The best part though was as we exited. We came out the door and it had no more than slammed shut, almost in unison they shrugged their shoulders like they were straightening their jackets and said "I wasn't scared" I rode them about it for weeks.


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## blackdogrdc (Sep 20, 2010)

Last year I was dressed as a Grim Reaper and I scared a grown woman so bad she actually literally ran down the road screaming. I also kept getting people asking me to pose for pictures with them kinda like Santa Claus. These people would stand next to me scared and I'd put my arms around them posing for the camera it was a blast.


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