# The Onion's Tips for Decorating Your House for Halloween



## TheMonsterSquad (Oct 8, 2012)

Most people here will get a kick out of this:

http://www.theonion.com/articles/tips-for-decorating-your-home-for-halloween,34150/


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## Froderick Fronkensteen (Sep 29, 2013)

These are the best two:



> Hire a maid from a cleaning service and then lock her in a closet. Her kicks and screams will provide a festively “spooktacular” soundtrack to your Halloween party.





> If you’re not going to spend $600 on a motion-activated Headless Horseman, you might as well just call the whole thing off.


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## Evil Elf (Jun 16, 2013)

That is hilarious! Especially the airblown and Headless Horseman "tips".


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## hallowicked (Mar 27, 2013)

The TOT prank is still making me laugh cause I couls invision myself doing that to the older TOTer's


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## dane82 (Sep 24, 2012)

my girlfriend sent me this the other day...for some reason, "Glue some googly eyes to a Styrofoam coffee cup to make your own creepy coffee creature!" is my favorite.


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## Saruman of Many Colours (Sep 8, 2010)

Some good stuff there. Also, noticed this (probably NSFW  ) link in The Onion's sidebar: New Pumpkin Spice Channel To Offer Fall-Themed Hardcore Pornography


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## 22606 (Aug 11, 2008)

Lots of those are amusing, but this is my fave: "A great prank on trick-or-treaters is to dress as an inert decorative scarecrow in a rocking chair on your porch, then when children come to the door, spring from the chair swinging kitchen knives and scream 'I’m going to drag you to [email protected]#%ing Hell' at the top of your lungs."


Next would certainly be this one: "Have you considered a large air-blown inflatable lawn decoration of a jack-o’-lantern or black cat? Ugh, what the $#@% is wrong with you?"

The other article is also pretty hilarious, Saruman. I wonder if someone is going to read that and go, "Hmmm.... You know, that _is_ one hell of an idea!!"


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