# What would YOU do?



## ShelbiBabyyy (Sep 13, 2009)

This past year, I had a lot of teenagers come to my house trick or treating in just black clothes or just wearing a mask. Half of them didn't even say "Trick or Treat". Instead, they would just stand there with their school backpack open, waiting for me to drop candy in.
Even some adults do this!

My question is: Would YOU turn them away, or just hand them the candy anyway? I typically give them the candy anyway, but not happily. They are ruining my favorite holiday!


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## Growler (Aug 12, 2008)

I have no prob. turning them away. I tell them that if they can't put effort into dressing up then I'm not putting any effort into dropping candy into whatever they are holding. I usually don't have this prob. since most of the children around here know what I will do. You have to set a standard or they think they can just walk all over you. For the parents we offer bottles of beer or warm cider so we don't have a prob. with them wanting candy if they bring their children around dressed up.


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## jdubbya (Oct 4, 2003)

I make them say "trick or treat" or they don't get anything. You can also have different kinds of candy for the older kids/adults. We have candy bars for the kids and cheapo tootsie rolls or suckers for adults and older kids. What you're experiencing is commonplace for a lot of us. We get a lot of older kids and adults who TOT but more likely freeloading. Everyone gets a treat but you can vary the quality depending on who it is.


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## LawP (Dec 4, 2007)

I would set aside some 'special' candy for those types - last year's candy kisses from Christmas, broken candy canes...just to name a few.


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## Growler (Aug 12, 2008)

OMG, I love the idea of left over candy canes! I'm going to save a bunch from this year. The cheap candy idea is great. I'll have to try that one.


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## MedeaViolia (Aug 31, 2009)

We have a rule, they do a turn or they get nothing, even if it is only one out of the group who sings a song or tells a joke, they have to at least make an attempt. I also dont give candy to kids who are not dressed up (unless it is an older sibling on guard duty and then I ensure they get something purely for the embressment of having to escort the younger one around.)

I am willing to risk rotton eggs to enforce this rule as you get nothing for nothing in this life and kids have the best jokes!


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## ShelbiBabyyy (Sep 13, 2009)

I LOVE the idea of the broken candy canes too. Haha. 
I'm thinking of making sign for the front yard: "Rules for Trick or Treating."


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## mrhamilton234 (Sep 7, 2008)

I give the ones who refuse to dress up an extra fright, like chase after them into the streets to harass another poor soul. I have no sympathy for those who don't keep with the spirit.


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## CrImSoNtOuCh (Sep 6, 2008)

For teenagers that come bearing hands only for treats they get a slight hand candy switch. They think they are getting the good stuff when all it is is one piece of bubble gum .What burns my behind is the parents that come up with babies and buckets for candy for the baby or they send their older children up with pails for their 3 month old baby sister/brother .


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## Gish (Sep 12, 2009)

I usually hand out sweets to everyone but hand out more depending on how much effort they have put into their costumes. I couldn't bear the thought of giving kids bad memories of Halloween, not getting any sweeties etc.


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## Uno (Oct 29, 2008)

We don't get enough trick or treaters here to be picky. I'm happy for anyone to walk up and give us a chance to "play."


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## Frankie's Girl (Aug 27, 2007)

I don't care if they have a costume, are adults or whatever; they all get candy and the same candy that every other TOT gets.

~pulling out the soapbox~

I don't get the idea of punishing TOTs. 

To me, there may be some kids that can't afford a costume, may not have any imagination to come up with a costume (especially in this day and age), or are too embarrassed to make that sort of effort in front of their friends. There are kids that were probably told "you're stupid for going TOT" and made to feel bad about wanting to dress up, so they go in regular clothes because they still want candy... and just barely hanging onto the whole being a kid thing and for this one night at least I am going to treat them like the kids they are (or want to be).

Why risk turning a kid against Halloween? I've got teenagers that still TOT in my neighborhood, and one group has progressively dressed up more and more each year, and I'd like to think that seeing an ADULT that goes crazy with decorating and doesn't treat them like crap might have a small something to do with it. 

/rant


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## mrhamilton234 (Sep 7, 2008)

I agree, I give the extra fright but still cough up a treat just for being a good sport. 
I want others to love Halloween too, maybe not as much as us, but still like it.


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## Uno (Oct 29, 2008)

Well said Frankie. I think you have pulled a lot of truth out of the discussion. I think its better to give people the benefit of the doubt


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## Trader Sam (Aug 10, 2008)

It's definitely more fun if they're dressed up, but we give out candy regardless. Without them, there would be no point to decorate and scare.

The lucky kids are the ones who are the last few of the night. That's when we start getting rid of whatever candy is left. One year, one kid got the last several handfuls of what we had. That was one happy kid!

I do notice that more and more parents are pushing their infants and toddlers in strollers to get candy on their behalf. At least THEY make an effort to dress the little ones up.

Yeah, we don't really discriminate against TOTs (it's one less thing to stress over). The candy is there to give away, so we give it away. The important thing is that everyone has fun getting candy and scaring. I prefer scaring. Muahahahahahahaha!


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## ChrisW (Sep 19, 2006)

I'm in Frankie's Girl's camp. you come to the haunt, you get a treat. I'll ask them if they want ducky or glow bracelet with their candy, and if they say yes, they get one. I'm not doing this to judge, I'm doing this to have a good time, and give them a good time. If they laugh at us in our costumes...well, at least they're laughing! Actually, the response is generally positive, like "Pretty cool!". I don't remember anyone dissing our display.
And if they see mature(?) adults dressing up and having a good time, that's gotta have some sort of positive impact on them. There's enough of a negative attitude towards Halloween and ToTing from other sources, why add to it?


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## christmascandy1 (Aug 19, 2009)

CrImSoNtOuCh said:


> For teenagers that come bearing hands only for treats they get a slight hand candy switch. They think they are getting the good stuff when all it is is one piece of bubble gum .What burns my behind is the parents that come up with babies and buckets for candy for the baby or they send their older children up with pails for their 3 month old baby sister/brother .


OO i hate that!!!


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## mementomori (Aug 19, 2009)

i give out candy to everyone regardless of the effort. granted if you show up with no costume or effort you may get 1 piece, but if you make that extra effort and dress up you will get a handfull. V came to my haunt last year and i think i gave him half my sack. i <3 V.


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## zleviticus (Sep 11, 2009)

Well we TOT twice.. once the weekend before halloween and we never had an issue with no one dressed up. 

The second is at our house and we have a few who don't dress up and we still give candy. What can i say i think this year i may offer to have them help next year with scaring the TOTs some and take part in the whole "experience."


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## seelie8504 (Oct 15, 2008)

you know those little paper treat bags you can fill up candy with? I fill up most of them with candy and when people come to the door who are older I give them ones that I have filled up with rocks, balled up newspaper, leaves, etc...

hey, they say "TRICK or treat"...


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## Uno (Oct 29, 2008)

seelie8504 said:


> you know those little paper treat bags you can fill up candy with? I fill up most of them with candy and when people come to the door who are older I give them ones that I have filled up with rocks, balled up newspaper, leaves, etc...
> 
> hey, they say "TRICK or treat"...



I'd throw those rocks you just gave me right back through your window...Just saying...Thats pretty lame.


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## Dr.Ghoul (Sep 6, 2009)

Ya, I'd be pretty fearful of giving a kid who was expecting candy a bag full of rocks. Teenagers these days aren't always the nicest people  . I know plenty of kids who would send those right back through your windows.


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## Spats (Sep 21, 2006)

I've said this before, but it bears repeating.

"Trick or treat" is not a greeting, it's an ultimatum.

You, as the homeowner, have a choice - give a treat or be tricked.
That's it. No other options are available to you. That is the meaning of the phrase.

If you hand out trick bags, it's your funeral. Same goes for people who give out nothing but toothbrushes and pamphlets or "punishment candy". Don't wanna participate, don't open the door.

Candy for everyone. It's one night of the year. Being generous and free with the sweets is the least I can do. This holiday has enough troubles without my judging who is worthy.


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## DaveintheGrave (Feb 12, 2004)

ShelbiBabyyy--I think your avatar picture sums up what should be done to TOTs without costumes!  Just kidding!
We normally still give them the treat, but I would prefer to give them a "less than desirable" treat if possible.
How else will they learn?


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## Great Pumpkin (Aug 23, 2007)

Hand out differrent candy to the TOT that dress up then the ones that do not put any effort in it. The little kids make out big time with treat bags filled with goodies. THe older ones get a few pieces of candy. No one really never knows, since the candy is in cauldrens sitting on the porch railing and they can not see whats in the other one. My 2 cents.


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## Wolfman (Apr 15, 2004)

Frankly, we get way too many visitors to waste time differentiating, everybody gets the same treatment, costume or no costume. We even let them draw for DVD's in the "Raffle". I do, however, try to get a dig in at the noncostumed kids, almost always teenage boys. One year a group came through, girls dressed as Ho's, the boys in regular clothes. Dressed as Dracula, I, speaking through fangs and using my best Bela Lugosi accent commented, "What interesting costumes you boys have...a group of nerds." The girls liked that.

What the heck, if a kid's not in costume, he was probably ambivalent about going out in the first place. Why be negative and embarass him? Keep the Spirit, but keep it positive.


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## Halloweenfan (Sep 18, 2008)

jdubbya said:


> I make them say "trick or treat" or they don't get anything. You can also have different kinds of candy for the older kids/adults. We have candy bars for the kids and cheapo tootsie rolls or suckers for adults and older kids. What you're experiencing is commonplace for a lot of us. We get a lot of older kids and adults who TOT but more likely freeloading. Everyone gets a treat but you can vary the quality depending on who it is.


I can't understand why the older kids get garbage compared to the younger kids. They are participating in the tradition, and they shouldn't get dumped on just because they are older. For some of these younger kids, they don't even eat much of that candy. It's probably the parents that are going to eat a lot of it, but for the older kids, they are probably going to go after much of it.

People shouldn't always assume that ALL teenagers are unrully because they aren't. I'm not a teenager, but when I was one, I wasn't unrully and a jerk to get candy. Of course though, there are people that like to cause trouble in every demographic out there. Have you ever seen a bully younger kid before that thinks they can get away with anything (These are below the age of teenagers remember)?


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## Winklesun (Nov 1, 2008)

Everyone gets a treat at my house. I don't care how old you are but it is nice if you dress up!Even the teenager last year that mistook me for a misplaced teenager (not in the group). He had the nerve to ask me "who the H*LL are you?"
I just said "who are YOU?" 
One of his friends told him I belonged with the place. I think he was then a little embarrassed. Dumb kid. 
Most teenagers around here know us or have friends that know us and we really most of the time get treated with respect.


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## Spats (Sep 21, 2006)

Good grief...

Making them say 'trick or treat', demanding costumes, having personal age limits that are different for every house,...

It's no wonder the custom is in trouble. It barely survived the razor-blade & poison myths, now it has to survive us?

Aren't we supposed to be the standard-setters, the house that goes above and beyond? Lighten up and give with the candy.

I don't care if you threaten me with a trick or not, whether you have a costume or not, whether you are a child, a teen, a college student, an adult or a senior. If you ring the bell on October 31st, you get candy. 
No, I don't like you holding out a bag while you talk on your cellphone. You get candy anyway.
No, I don't like a bunch of teens in hoodies with grocery bags. They get candy anyway.
Yeah, it would be cool to see a college sorority ring the bell. They get candy.
A squad of seniors with walkers, witches hats and air horns? They can have all they can carry.

Life is too short to be deciding who meets your particular Halloween standards.


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## magicmatt (Aug 17, 2005)

It's not about them being older, it is about them simply expecting to get candy just because the took the pillowcase off their pillow and threw a ski mask on. You should put some effort into going trick or treating.

I'm sorry, but if you are wearing everyday street clothes and carrying a sack around, why do you deserve to get candy from us, when everyone else spent money and time making or buying a costume?

I always do little pouches with 3 pieces of candy, pretty generous. I don't have to decorate and hand out sweets, but I enjoy it. 

I have said 'No, just one bag per person' as I hand them out and someone asks for two. You say thank you and be happy that there are still people that do Halloween.

I always took ONE when someone left a bowl on they front porch and locked the door. That person is getting close to giving up Halloween. I don't want to be the one that caused him/her to stop doing anything.

Every year, less and less kids are saying thank you without having to be told by parents. If they don't learn, there are going to be generations and generations of grumpy, rude, inconsiderate people that think only of themselves.


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## Madame Leota (Sep 19, 2005)

I give them the same treat as I give the ones who dress up. They're just out having fun too - teens just have different ideas about what fun is than little kids or us old people. It doesn't hurt anything. I'd much rather see teens in no costume out trick or treating instead of hanging out and getting into trouble, which is what will happen if we take tot'ing away from them. I just never understood why some people cared so much about what seems to be such a small issue. Just give them the candy. Really, what is it gonna hurt?


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## JohnnyL (Nov 6, 2005)

I simply hand out an amount of candy that I feel reflects their costumes/age/respect. I feel that the small amount spent on candy is better than the large amount that could be lost in damages to a display from unhappy teensters.


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## magicmatt (Aug 17, 2005)

Here's a story. A neighbors grand kid (maybe 3 or 4 yo) was over at her house on halloween. No costume. I gave him a bag of candy. He came back with a costume. I did not know it was him until he walked back to that house and his grandmother walked him inside.

Later, without costume again, I see him sneaking through my decorations towards the bucket of candy pouches. I said "Excuse me, you already got two, we need them for the other trick or treaters." He stormed away with a "humph!" and said to grandma, 'they yelled at me!"

Her response?

While looking directly at us from her walkway, "Oh, they did, did they?"


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## Pumpkin Torture Guy (Aug 8, 2008)

What you need to do is get some dowl rods, 7/16 diameter is fine and cut them up into bite size pieces and paint them orange and black. Keep them in a special bowl and when you hand them out, all they see is small halloween looking candy being dropped into their backpacks. Trick or treat punks!


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## Uno (Oct 29, 2008)

Pumpkin Torture Guy said:


> What you need to do is get some dowl rods, 7/16 diameter is fine and cut them up into bite size pieces and paint them orange and black. Keep them in a special bowl and when you hand them out, all they see is small halloween looking candy being dropped into their backpacks. Trick or treat punks!


Or, wire your motion activated props with explosives that can be switched on after seeing some older kids come to the door. When they walk back down the path they'll be greeted with a laughing 3-axis bucky and a boom!


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## Boo Baby (Oct 7, 2008)

Well I guess I'm in big-time TOT trouble on here...

1) I AM (or was, they are older now) the parent who would dress my baby all up and take her out TOT with a tiny bucket. Did I do this to be selfish? Absolutely not! I did this because I adore the holiday and couldn't wait to share the experience with my child even though realistically they didn't have a clue what was going on...

2) I was also the teen who TOT as late into my teen years as I could. Again, did I do this to freeload? to be selfish? Absolutely not. I did it because I love the holiday and loved every moment of pure childlike bliss that TOT provided me. I was genuinely sad that last year because I really didn't want to let go of that tradition, and it had nothing to do with the candy for me...

In my own defense, I am also the lady on my block that goes all out on Halloween. I happily answer my door to all TOT. Since I no longer TOT myself I now feel joy in seeing the happiness on the faces of those who come to my door. They all get the same at my home. It is true that sometimes teens don't dress up, but I can remember many occasions that I got a crusty teen to my door and managed to get a smile out of them. Thats the moments that make it worthwhile for me...


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## thegingerowl (Sep 8, 2009)

I'm like Boo Baby, in that I TOT'd until I was 18...and that was the year that my friend and I were turned away (rather rudely) by one woman, despite our elaborate costumes. I miss TOT'ing dearly...not because of the candy, certainly not! but I miss the magic involved, walking around in the crisp calm night where the neighborhood seems changed, smelling the pumpkins burning as I approach porchsteps...

):

But now I can create that experience for others. Last year we had a few highschoolers show up with nothing but backpacks held out, but they were very polite and they got the goods. I will never forget the pang that shot through my heart the one night two years ago when that woman so cruelly blew us off simply because we both happened to be over 5'6". I mention this because our faces were covered, so there wasn't any other possible way she could have discerned our ages. I've seen some very tall middle-schoolers you know!

Ach. Anyone who comes to this door will get candy, they're out partaking in the spirit of the night. Though we haven't had any disrespectful TOT's to date, knock on wood.


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## Warrant2000 (Oct 18, 2008)

If I get teen tot's with no costume, I give them a hard time and let them know it's lame to skim free candy without participating in the holiday - and I give them candy.

I've also had kids try to return for 2nds but I recognize them and turn them away, again letting them know it's not cool to skim free candy.

What I really don't like is a family that comes through, and both parents also have bags, just to skim more free candy. That's one reason why I go so intense with my haunt...there is no free candy at my house. They have to earn it.

It also doesn't help that Wifeypoo is shoveling out candy by the handful. We fill a 5 gallon tub full of sweet goodness. Then she's surprised that we always run out and she has to jet to the store for more candy.


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## halloween4ever (Jul 1, 2009)

I hate to be the bearer of bad news but I see alot of kids not saying trick or treat. The thing that gets me is they don't say thank you either.


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## OMGDan (Sep 28, 2006)

Seems like this one's pretty split down the middle.

But i've gotta disagree with a lot of opinions on here and throw my opinion in.

It's not about the age of the TOT'er. Like some of you of you have said i was TOT'ing until i was 19. The difference is the effort and attitude. We were always in full costume and very polite. And i'm only 22, this was just a few years ago. Manner's aren't dead everywhere, but they are in most of these people we're talking about.

Regardless of age, whether they're 7 or 17 turning up without a costume what-so-ever and standing their ignorantly and silently expecting a free hand out is a kick in the teeth to you.

Someone said well they might be embarrassed or have no imagination. That's not good enough in my opinion. Everybody's in costume, it's halloween, no need to be embarrassed. It'd be like being embarrassed about wearing a santa hat at christmas. And if you have no imagination, that's fine, 99% of us don't. You go and buy a store-bought costume, doesn't have to break the bank.

It's not turning people against halloween if you refuse them these people don't care about halloween as a holiday in the first place. To them it's just free-food day.

We are supposed to be setting the standards this is true, if we won't, who will.

It's for that reason exactly that we should set the right standards. The more and more people who give just as much candy willingly to a group of kids standing there with their backpacks open acting like idiots and laughing at other kids in costume will just make the other kid nearby who spent weeks planning his/her costume and the last couple of hours putting it on think "screw it, why bother, i did all this and turns out i could have just rolled up in my school gear and got the same deal, i'll not bother next year"

And the number of kids turning up with this attitude will increase every year.

The phrase 'trick or treat' and basic please and thank you manners is dying out very fast in this tradition. 

A tradition is exactly what it is, you dress up, you say trick or treat, you get a treat, everyone's happy. 

Continuing to cater to these types is and slowly will degrade the holiday to the point where in 5 years most people don't want to open their door and participate because it's just ignorant kid night.

They don't respect it, and we should praise the few who still do, reward them and hopefully make the others realize they're not stealing this holiday, we're taking it back and if they want to join in they're going to do it right.

That's my opinion anyway, each to their own.

But come Oct 31st i will have my 'No costume = No candy' sign and my very firm stance on those who i consider to want to degrade the tradition and enjoyment of the holiday i so proudly consider mine.


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## Brimstonewitch (Aug 23, 2009)

This has been quite split and I find there are valid viewpoints from both aspects. 

I wish more people in my area would ToT.... it seems Halloween is a dying celebration. We even have a large church that puts on a carnival just to keep kids from ToT and participating in a "Pagan holiday" (which is fine for this Pagan  ). I also noticed last year when they didn't have the carnival there were triple the ToT'ers. 

My kids are 15 & 16 this year. They won't be ToT'ing but they will be....

1. Having a teen Halloween party
2. Friends must be dressed
3. Won't be getting candy from others but instead enjoying mom's homemade goodies which they like even more truth be told
4. Scaring others during our Haunt (time to start passing the next phase of the celebrating to the youngin's).

We always enjoy making costumes and the haunt, as well as the plethora of compliments for doing so much. If even one person gets a thrill out of it then I'm happy as can be. It's all what YOU make it for yourself and how you let others affect that is up to you.


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## zleviticus (Sep 11, 2009)

magicmatt said:


> Every year, less and less kids are saying thank you without having to be told by parents. If they don't learn, there are going to be generations and generations of grumpy, rude, inconsiderate people that think only of themselves.



Amen... however my kids learned real quick that if they said an impromptu thank you when getting candy that they almost always got an extra amount. (we teach our kids a little thing called manners.) 

Like i have said before there are a lot of people out there with kids but fewer and fewer parents.


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## Pumpkin Torture Guy (Aug 8, 2008)

I'm thinking that this thread got a little crazy. I just hope that we don't expect a gift every time someone says Merry Christmas. My wife and I give out candy to all tot's, costume or not.


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## whichypoo (Jul 29, 2009)

It use to upset me that kids came to the door with no words ..no costume.. no jokes... but then I I had one mid teen come to the house in this fab werewolf costume with chain armor!!.. wow.. I ran and got the camera took a pic with him and my werewolf.. then I gave him candy and one of those small dollar tree gargoyles that was close.. telling him he won the best costume award. HE was all excited.. then the next year came around I put the picture up on a board.. slowly the word is getting around and more and more teens are trying to win .. so now I give out more than one a year.. LOL...


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## Muffy (Sep 25, 2006)

Oh my my kids! This thread sure has a lot of different opinions about a solid tradition we are all trying to uphold. Do you all realize that all of you on this Halloween Forum are the leaders of keeping the spirit of Halloween alive & well.

With that comes responsibilities, some good, some hard but still we have to keep our eye on the 8 ball. Whats the objective? Ask yourself that. Somewhere in whatever your answer is should be>>>>not only keeping the spirit alive but CREATING a stronger spirit about Halloween.

Why any of you would want to get yourself worked up over what a person looks like when you open that front door on one day of the year is so sad. In my environment here, as you know they have to come in my home so I don't just answer the door & drop candy in their bags. They have to come thru my front door themselves, I greet everyone in the 2nd room, I talk to parents,to the kids...... make them take a picture. They get the treat in the kitchen so they have to talk face to face w/ Jerry. So its a more personal visit at my house with more interaction.

I want kids & parents to leave here thinking >>>I want to do what she does one day! I want to leave an impression that will hopefully inspire them in the future to help Halloween live on!

So....who has time to think about what they are wearing or what parents are teaching their kids in the way of manners, I'm surely not wasting....WASTING the spirit of halloween only one night a year on being judgemental. I want to create happy times & memories for families & thats my only goal for halloween.

I try to talk to everyone, I keep it in mind to talk with the teenagers in hopes that things will stay put in my front yard, but I see no problems w/ Moms that come along & have a bag they hold open for baby in their arms. EVERYONE does things in a different way & I respect that. BUt Spats you said it all & Frankie's Girl & Boo Baby too!

On Halloween I am the good witch that spreads the spirit of Halloween. I give treats to everyone & even have worked hard these last 2 yrs. to make the parents realize they deserve treats too. Costumes??? don't matter at my house....you come thru that door with a smile on your face you are getting a treat no matter what age you are.

I wanna show people how to celebrate this holiday. I am the example! Some folks don't express themselves like others, some are just quiet......but hey its Halloween not a day to sit & judge but a day to show both kids & parents how enjoyable this all can be for all ages if someone just takes the time & patience to create something that they can come & be completely swept away for just a little while. Heck when they come in my house>>>no body wants to leave!!lol

Loosen up people & respect others for who they are, not everyone has good manners but halloween is surely not the day to decide you are gonna help somebody work on that. May be we need a group therapy here in the forum so we can help some of you work on these issues!!lol

Just my 2 cents!


Mama Muffy


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## CraigInPA (Sep 11, 2007)

I give them a treat, but only after asking them to do a "trick". Most look at me dumbfounded. I usually suggest "Why don't you sing the star spangled banner?" I do make exceptions, of course, like the very drunk 20 something who wandered in and got away with a treat without having a costume or having to sing.


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## HalloweenAsylum.com (May 19, 2009)

Years ago I used to manage both a Halloween store and a separate Christmas store at the local mall. I was working at the Christmas store on Halloween night and there's trick or treating in the mall. A kid, about 15, comes in with no costume but a mask in his hand and says trick or treat. I say where's your costume? He says right here and raises his hand. I told him we give out candy only to kids in costume so he put it on. He left loudly complaining to his mom that I made him put the mask on... LOL. Of course I did, it was Halloween!


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## LawP (Dec 4, 2007)

This thread did seem to spiral into crazyland. I could care less about whether they wear costumes or not. What I don't care for are the older TOTers who are rude or push the little ones aside or disrespect my outdoor decorations, etc. They all get candy anyway. Thought we were engaging in some friendly venting here.


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## UnOrthodOx (Apr 24, 2007)

Muffy said:


> I want kids & parents to leave here thinking >>>I want to do what she does one day! I want to leave an impression that will hopefully inspire them in the future to help Halloween live on!


Amen! 

I encourage parents to come through with kids, teenagers to come through on dates (costume or no) young ones, old ones, dressed ones and street clothes. Heck, the candy bucket is HONOR SYSTEM! (and by my counter, we get roughly 1 in 5 taking an extra piece, but it's far more likely a far fewer number taking many more than an extra piece)

The treat is about the least part of the holiday for me, at our house. Come on over and have a good time.

I get guys in stalk-abouts hanging out at the house just to have fun scaring kids, teenagers loitering about in costumes that don't always fit in, just to have fun, neighboring teens policing my haunt when their friends plan to come trash it (happened last year, or rather, didn't, thanks to my neighbors). 

Funny thing is, 90% of the year, people will walk/drive by the house and not wave or say a peep. Come October, they stop their cars, and walk over to the yard to have a chat and see what's going on, honk, wave, and the wee ones seem to have some kind of organized watch on the sidewalk across the street and KNOW whenever I set foot out the door...


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## rupertoooo (Oct 1, 2007)

ShelbiBabyyy said:


> This past year, I had a lot of teenagers come to my house trick or treating in just black clothes or just wearing a mask. Half of them didn't even say "Trick or Treat". Instead, they would just stand there with their school backpack open, waiting for me to drop candy in.
> Even some adults do this!
> 
> My question is: Would YOU turn them away, or just hand them the candy anyway? I typically give them the candy anyway, but not happily. They are ruining my favorite holiday!


We have experienced the same BS. We have decided to hand out two types of candy due to this issue. The real tot's get the good stuff and the teenagers get the crap (candy corn, Neccos). 

Personally I have a concern if you stiff these clowns they may comeback later and vandalize (Egg, toilet paper, key your vehicle, break props etc.) your haunt, property or vehicles.


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## Wolfbeard (Sep 22, 2008)

LawP said:


> I would set aside some 'special' candy for those types - last year's candy kisses from Christmas, broken candy canes...just to name a few.



Candy kisses made from X-lax!


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## Gothikim (Jul 25, 2005)

I love this kind of thread! Seems there are as many viewpoints as there are folks, and discussion is almost always a good thing ; >

I dislike: rude parents mooching for themselves in the name of a 3 month old, surly tweens/teens with a walmart bag or their backpack who can't be bothered to say "Trick or Treat" or "thank you," TOTs of any age who try to go through the queue 2-3 times to mooch more candy. HOWEVER, they all get one shot at the candy. Some more, some less. Some great, some not-so-great. I do keep sub-premium (non-chocolate) candy on hand for the known shmucks...

Part of that is motivated by self-interest (don't want my place trashed) and the rest is motivated by fostering the Halloween spirit. I likely will not be able to correct a TOT's or parent's lack of manners or tact in one night, BUT I CAN reinforce good behavior by "oohing and ahhing" over the kids and 'rents that do it right. If I can make a positive impact on one child or one parent, I'm happy.

The last couple of years I've posted a Trick or Treating rules list to deter swearing, line-jumping, rough-housing, and trespassing in the displays. I don't know if it's helped, but I haven't found it torn out of the ground and launched into the cemetery yet : >

BTW, I'm not prejudiced against tween/teen TOTs, costume-less TOTs, parents with little ones, or even grandparents without little ones. It's the rudeness, lack of consideration for others, and out-and-out greed that saddens me.


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## cinders (Oct 12, 2003)

Everyone gets treated to the same candy here. In the evening we get the packs of teens with no costumes and backpacks only. Sometimes they don't say anything, sometimes it seems like one of the group is designated to say "Trick or Treat". Its funny, though, that one person in the group will say "Thank You," and then some of the others will say it like it just occured to them that they maybe they should. I just think its funny.

I'm not sure that all these kids get the concept of TOTing, they just come because they see others doing it. I don't think that Halloween is very well liked by many of the people in my area. But if they come, they will be treated. I like the babies in strollers. Most of the time the babes are in costumes with moms who are taking the older kids TOTing. I always ask those remaining on the sidewalk if they would like candy too. Of course, some of the babies are too young for most of the candies, but its fun for the moms to dress the babes up and show them off. They probably aren't even thinking when they hold a little bucket for the baby. They just know that its what you do.

I'm just happy that people come TOTing at my house. I want them to see my display and come chat with me. Most of the time everyone just keeps to themselves, so it is a time of gathering.


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## Tumblindice (Aug 19, 2008)

Frankie's Girl said:


> I don't care if they have a costume, are adults or whatever; they all get candy and the same candy that every other TOT gets.
> 
> ~pulling out the soapbox~
> 
> ...


Thanks FG very well put!!!


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## dariusobells (Sep 24, 2007)

I make everyone say "trick or treat". (or as close to it as some as the very little ones can get they are cute) I had one teenage girl look at me and say "are you really gonna make me say it?" when I said "of course" she and her friends all laughed and gave the token phrase. 

I did however make an exception last year for some one who had a great headless horseman costume.. he had it written on a business card and showed it to me. ... yes he got extra candy.


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## halloween_sucks_in_the_uk (Sep 28, 2008)

Luckily all the children we get are dressed up but to be honest if a kid arrived without a costume I'd still give them sweets cos I'm a big softy. It could be a case of some of these kids parents might not have the money to spend on costumes. I'd never turn a child away empty handed.


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## ghostluva (Jun 14, 2009)

Like a few other parents on here, I too am guilty of dressing up my young child to go trick or treating. But it honestly had nothing to do with the candy, and we only went to a few close neighbor's houses so we could show off our son's cute costume. I did it because Halloween is my favorite holiday and was so excited to be able to start my own trick or treating tradition. My happiest memories are of trick or treating with my sister and mom. I even remember being a young girl and going into an elderly man's house. Instead of candy he put on a wonderful puppet show for the parents and children(he was a retired puppetier). I always said trick or treat and thank you. My children do as well. 

I too believe that manners are going by the wayside. The older kids don't bother me so much, but the ones who push a younger child to get in front of them, now that bothers me.


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## Scatterbrains (Nov 16, 2008)

Everyone gets candy...since I don't have a steady stream of ToTs, I like to joke with the older ones that aren't in costume...and if they give me props for my props, they usually get more candy. Establishing a repoire with everyone is good for your props to.

The only heartburn I used to get is when I saw both parents with the kids, because that usually means that they're not handing out candy, they're just after the free stuff....but even that doesn't bother me that much anymore. Now if I see both parents, that means more people are checking out my haunt.


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## halloween_sucks_in_the_uk (Sep 28, 2008)

Scatter, yeah I think it's a little unfair when both the parents are with the kids. I always stay at home to hand out sweets, when the Husband takes the boys out trick or treating.


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## Muffy (Sep 25, 2006)

How can you stand at your front door & know whats going on at their house?

I get families here, 1st year it was moms. then they brought dads, now they come in a large family group>>>parents, aunts, grandparents. They come to see this as an attraction. 

So do you have a crystal ball you look in that tells there is no one at their house answering the door?

They could have an older sibling, a neighbor, extended family...come on guys...you see 2 parents so you assume no one is handing out their candy? Jeez maybe both parents want to enjoy tot'ing with their child. I hate being stuck at my house on halloween cause I'm not on the street seeing all the excitement.


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## OMGDan (Sep 28, 2006)

I'm getting the vibe that the pro 'give candy to no costumes' feel the anti 'give candy to no costume' people are hurting the spirit of halloween.

Not sure if any of the more recent comments were in regards to my earlier post, but i just want to help make it clear it's not about trying to teach people to have manners or to punish those who don't smile.

Forget halloween, i'm talking about simple self-respect in general.

If a kid's quiet, i can tell, and can understand. Just because they were shy and didn't say trick or treat they wouldn't get 'punished' as everyone keeps labelling it.

Same if they were very polite but had no costume, because it appears maybe they couldn't afford one.

It's when you mix all these things together with a case of severe bad attitude.

Demands like, "GIVE me MY candy"

Some people here seem like they would just accept being spoken to like that, which if that's you fair enough. Each to their own and i just want to side note that this is a good bit of healthy discussion here. We're all friends, no one's being mean, just everybody can't have the same viewpoint in life. Some people are saying this thread is getting crazy. Let's remember forums and discussion go hand in hand guys.

Getting back on track, if somebody said that, they'd get turned away. We're not talking about (well at least i'm not) the couple of mean-well kids who just didn't have time for a costume or didn't know what to say (not that i believe anyone in this day and age doesn't know how halloween works) We're talking about the kids who just don't care about you, your decorations, halloween, or the other kids next to them. The rude ones who expect freebies in return for nothing. Personally i just don't see why catering to their attitudes in blind-hope that it'll one day make them see they should be nicer is worth wasting your pride.

Maybe i've only ever experienced the bad kids in no costume. I'm not sure there are any nice good kids who turn out in no costumes, if there are and those are the ones you speak of, then that's understandable. Just in my experience they're never worth the time.

Oh, and as i said in my prior post my views are regardless of age.

I don't see why people give teenagers 'worse' candy than kids just because they're a little older. If they enjoy the holiday and taking part, and have made an effort to do it like everybody else does then what's the harm.


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## Boo Baby (Oct 7, 2008)

Scatterbrains said:


> The only heartburn I used to get is when I saw both parents with the kids, because that usually means that they're not handing out candy.


That is funny in our household as both my hubby and I love to take the kids around TOT. I love the experience of walking on Halloween evening because there is a certain air to that special night that I don't feel on any other, but I also love to answer my door at home. 

Our solution came as a wonderful Grandma that comes by so we can take them out for a bit together. She holds down the roost while we both go with them for a bit, then we take turns going out alone with them for a bit too. This way we get to have the best of both worlds. 

The only issue I'm having anymore with Halloween is that the night goes by so darn fast!! Why is it as we get older time goes faster?? Not fair!!


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## Halloweenfan (Sep 18, 2008)

thegingerowl said:


> I'm like Boo Baby, in that I TOT'd until I was 18...and that was the year that my friend and I were turned away (rather rudely) by one woman, despite our elaborate costumes. I miss TOT'ing dearly...not because of the candy, certainly not! but I miss the magic involved, walking around in the crisp calm night where the neighborhood seems changed, smelling the pumpkins burning as I approach porchsteps...
> 
> ):
> 
> ...


I agree with you hold heartly. I do miss trick or treating, and it's the reason because you are "not supposed to" after a certain age. Some people don't go to Halloween parties, or Haunted houses on Halloween, but rather just watch Horror movies because you CAN'T trick or treat anymore. There are some holidays in which I can't get into. I feel sometimes that everyone is enjoying that holiday, and why aren't I. I want to be part of it, but sometimes you just can't. I enjoy Halloween, but wonder how I can participate more into Halloween without Trick or Treating besides the Horror Movie thing.


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## hauntedyardofdoom (Nov 6, 2008)

I can certainly understand those who have a problem with the no-costume mutes who hold their hands open for candy, but I'm surprised that so many are complaining about older kids, parents with young kids, etc. Hey at least those people are still in the spirit. We celebrate the holiday by building elaborate displays and walkthroughs and others enjoy trick or treating. Who says we have to stop at a certain age? I have a handful of friends that still go door to door (average age in their 30s), of course in full costume. Hey it's fun, why not? 

My wife is so excited to go trick or treating with our newborn. She had her costume picked out about 3 months ago. She grew up in Romania and never had a chance to Trick or Treat. According to some of you, she's the devil incarnate (or something that some of you might find objectionable, seeing as that might be a good thing for some of you lol). It's not about the candy, it's about participating.


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## ShelbiBabyyy (Sep 13, 2009)

WOW everyone. I never expected my thread to blow up like this. It is amazing how different everyone thinks. I respect everyone's opinion on here. I'm glad that I asked this question however, because now I know there are PLENTY of people that share my personal viewpoint, and there are also plenty of people that look at it a little differently. Thanks everyone!


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## coffee4106 (Sep 19, 2009)

we are a very small town so my experience growing up here was if ANYONE wanted to trick or treat, its welcomed... i dont even go to the doors with my kids and the people (specially the ones that watched me grow up here) send a handful of candy out to me. This year im letting my kids go on the hill by themselves.. (ill take them downtown and the heights), so ill be giving out candy, im excited since i havnet done this in 9 years... i like to make fun of the ones that dont have costumes though HAHA.. since we are a boarding school with kids from all over the world, some of them have never even celebrated halloween this way, so they are just in awe... plus most come raid my costume box... what was the question? HAHAHA


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## Stranger With Candy (Oct 29, 2007)

haha, we get trick or treaters like this all the time. Say what you will about their "costumes' or lack thereof but IMO they are the scariest of all trick or treaters


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## halloween_sucks_in_the_uk (Sep 28, 2008)

We all have different points of views, I say as long as you enjoy the Halloween night that's all that matters 

Muffy I didn't mean to offend, I was talking about people who don't hand out any sweets as being unfair.

Boo, you're right there is a special something in the air on Halloween, it's nice that Grandma helps out


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## HallowSusieBoo (Aug 11, 2009)

*Positive PR wins everytime...*

 You ask? We give! Izz all good 

For us - if you take the time to come to the door - no matter your age, size or costume, you get a treat and to tour the haunt. Leave 'em smiling - and they spread the word.  BOO!

gingerowl - you are welcome to TOT in Sharonville anytime! Our door creeks open to all - "age is a state of mind" , right?!


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## Jen1984 (Aug 10, 2009)

I understand being put off by the rudeness of some children, no matter how old they are. I've never had anyone come to my door and say "give me candy", but I have gotten the surly ones that don't say anything. But, I still give them candy, because I know that they still get that excited feeling from getting a treat and that makes me feel good. 

If their surliness bothers you, get them to at least say "trick or treat". They usually come in a group, so get the whole group to say it. Chances are that they will not only be okay with saying it, but they'll be happy about saying it (even if they don't admit it). If you get someone who's just downright rude or threatening, maybe they should get a lecture should go with their piece of candy. Or throw it across the yard and make them go after it (just kidding!!)


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## Muffy (Sep 25, 2006)

Oh no offense taken halloween-sucks-in-the-UK. LOL

I will remind you all that a week ago I was pretty surprised to read on this board that one of our members claims to love halloween but admitted in a thread she closes the door, shuts off all her lights, & pretends she is not home on halloween night.....so there is all kinds of views here.....plus was even more surprised that not one member made a comment on that.


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## Spats (Sep 21, 2006)

Muffy said:


> Oh no offense taken halloween-sucks-in-the-UK. LOL
> 
> I will remind you all that a week ago I was pretty surprised to read on this board that one of our members claims to love halloween but admitted in a thread she closes the door, shuts off all her lights, & pretends she is not home on halloween night.....so there is all kinds of views here.....plus was even more surprised that not one member made a comment on that.


I'll comment on that. I haven't been very vocal in my opinions thus far, right? 

I'd rather you stayed inside, door closed and light off, then step on the porch with your particular expectations and standards (standards that are far from universal or agreed to,) and decide which visitor is worthy of your candy, which child needs to be taught manners by a stranger, which child should have done better, which Halloween enthusiast is 'too old', etc.


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## OMGDan (Sep 28, 2006)

Muffy said:


> I will remind you all that a week ago I was pretty surprised to read on this board that one of our members claims to love halloween but admitted in a thread she closes the door, shuts off all her lights, & pretends she is not home on halloween night.....so there is all kinds of views here.....plus was even more surprised that not one member made a comment on that.


Yeah i remember reading that. I thought that was a rather odd thing to do for an enthusiast but as i say each to their own.




Spats said:


> I'd rather you stayed inside, door closed and light off, then step on the porch with your particular expectations and standards (standards that are far from universal or agreed to,) and decide which visitor is worthy of your candy, which child needs to be taught manners by a stranger, which child should have done better, which Halloween enthusiast is 'too old', etc.


Again i'm only speaking for myself and not others who choose to not give candy to those in costume (that was the original point of this thread wasn't it? It's hard to remember as it's branched out so much haha) but it's not 'who is worthy' that sounds like we're being some judging dictators. It's not like that at all.

It's real simple. If your rude. You can leave and expect to not be treated like everyone else. Treat others how you would like to be treated yourself don't they say.

I'm not going to grace somebody who's rude and disrespectful with a treat. Be it a trick or treater or a random person on March 14th. It's the principal.

Again my case is more in regards to rudeness than lack of costume.


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## Boo Baby (Oct 7, 2008)

Muffy said:


> one of our members claims to love halloween but admitted in a thread she closes the door, shuts off all her lights, & pretends she is not home on halloween night.....so there is all kinds of views here.....plus was even more surprised that not one member made a comment on that.


I totally missed that one...otherwise I'm sure I would have had something to say...lol 

Sometimes this forum is hard to keep up with.


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## Madame Leota (Sep 19, 2005)

Muffy said:


> I will remind you all that a week ago I was pretty surprised to read on this board that one of our members claims to love halloween but admitted in a thread she closes the door, shuts off all her lights, & pretends she is not home on halloween night.....so there is all kinds of views here.....plus was even more surprised that not one member made a comment on that.


Guess I missed that one. WOW! That's kinda like saying "I love Thanksgiving but I usually skip the dinner".

Anyway, I just think life is too short to waste time getting bent out of shape over whether a few kids have costumes or say trick or treat or say thank you. 
Let it roll...


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## Spats (Sep 21, 2006)

OMGDan said:


> Again i'm only speaking for myself and not others who choose to not give candy to those in costume (that was the original point of this thread wasn't it? It's hard to remember as it's branched out so much haha) but it's not 'who is worthy' that sounds like we're being some judging dictators. It's not like that at all.
> 
> It's real simple. If your rude. You can leave and expect to not be treated like everyone else. Treat others how you would like to be treated yourself don't they say.
> 
> ...


Trust me, I see what you're saying.
Anyone who says "I'm not giving a treat to a rude child", I get it.

Here's why I disagree.

It's Halloween, not March 14th or any other day of the year.
It is the ONE night that kids are supposed to be allowed to be the insane little howler monkeys they always want to be. It's the one night when the rules of ettiquette go askew.
They threaten adults for treats (that is what trick or treat means!), they run from house to house making noise and being obnoxious, they don't bother with 'please' or 'thank you' or any other responsible, respectable adult nonsense and if they can fool you into giving more candy than you normally would, well, that's what being a goblin is all about.

It's the single night of the year when we're supposed to let them be the little terrors they are. As long as they don't do permanent damage to people or property, it's anything goes. It's one of the reasons we Americans established trick or treat in Minnesota back in the 30's, to keep these miniature lunatics from tipping outhouses and pulling down barns. 

Now they have to be polite as well?

There's a real misunderstanding of what trick or treat is for kids. I hate to see it here.


That is where I'm coming from.


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## ChrisW (Sep 19, 2006)

Spats - Before I read your post I was going to mention the same thing - back in the 20s and 30s there was real damage done for Halloween pranks, and trick or treating was designed to diffuse that energy.
BTW, I got a kick out of a comment in one of your earlier posts - that "Trick or Treat is not a greeting, it's an ultimatum." 
I say spread the joy.


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## Frankie's Girl (Aug 27, 2007)

Spats said:


> Trust me, I see what you're saying.
> Anyone who says "I'm not giving a treat to a rude child", I get it.
> 
> Here's why I disagree.
> ...



~applause~


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## HauntedHorror (Aug 8, 2006)

I usually give the same exact candy to everyone. 
However it does bother me when they (teenagers mostly) don't bother to put a costume on. Half the fun of sitting at home handing out candy is getting to see all the costumes!
I mean I trick-or-treated when I was a teen but I always had just as much thought put into my costume as when I was TOT-ing as a kid. I did it because I loved the fun of dressing up and TOT-ing...so teens CAN put some effort in. I had a group of teenagers come to my door one year who were all totally dressed up to the point of wigs, fancy dresses, fake blood etc. How hard is it to put in a little effort for your candy?


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## bdf385 (Sep 21, 2009)

i dont like the idea of no-spirit trick or treaters come up in plain black clothes expecting candy for just being there i dressed up and always said trick or treat some people need to get in the spirit


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## dippedstix (Jul 2, 2009)

Wow- I am one of the ones that gives the less expensive candy for the non costumers. Hum, I never saw this as an issue. Never ever crossed my mind. In my mind, I was thinking I was nice to give that. I don't think the kids that come to my home without a costume are out enjoying the spirit of Halloween. I think they are out to load up on a midnight snack for the weekend. LOL Am I hurting their feelings by giving them a tootsie roll instead of a snickers? You guys really have me thinking about this now. I've been known to bake cupcakes for all the kids in the neighborhood for no reason. They like me and I like most of them. But I just think the kids in costume deserve the better treats. And who's to say what the better candy is. They might love a tootsie roll over a snickers. LOL I will most certainly have this on my mind this halloween. Wonder if I'll cave....


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## dippedstix (Jul 2, 2009)

Muffy said:


> Oh no offense taken halloween-sucks-in-the-UK. LOL
> 
> I will remind you all that a week ago I was pretty surprised to read on this board that one of our members claims to love halloween but admitted in a thread she closes the door, shuts off all her lights, & pretends she is not home on halloween night.....so there is all kinds of views here.....plus was even more surprised that not one member made a comment on that.


Muffy, I read that post and thought it was really bizzare!


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## Brimstonewitch (Aug 23, 2009)

Hahaha I have loved this thread! Seriously gave me some different insight into each side including the one I tend to lean towards. As I already mentioned, this year will be a bit different for us since the kids will be staying home to have their Teen party and spook the ToT'rs but they are so excited! My son was just outside helping me build our first coffin and a few other things we are working on. My daughter will be more into the inside decorating next weekend and it has seriously become a family event for us. 

To each his own with a goblin groan!


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## savagehaunter (Aug 22, 2009)

NO costume....No Candy. It is the Rule of Halloween. Some snot nose teen that begs with no custume is too damned old to be TOTing anyway. If they are too cool for the costume than Not in MY Marine Corps aditude is gonna run them off.


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## Dr.Ghoul (Sep 6, 2009)

I might as well throw my opinion into all this crazyness as well. I'm a teenager myself, but instead of trick or treating, I set up all the decorations and hand out the candy. In my neighborhood all the kids my age don't trick or treat anymore, not many people in high school, or atleast 16 or older trick or treat around here. Of course though, there are the usual stereotypical kids with no costume or just a mask that come to the door every once and a while, wanting candy. Trust me, I know those types of kids. Their at every school. I just give them candy. Even if I was an adult, I'd still give everyone candy. Its Halloween, its the one night were the whole purpose is to GET candy, not deprive the kids of it. And not getting the house TPed is another good reason 

The last time I went ToTing was in 8th grade with a group of friends, and we all dressed up in good costumes, but still got questionable looks from some people. Seriously? You bought the candy to give away, why hoard it all and only give it to people who meet your requirements. If you want some for yourself, then buy another bag. If your not going to give candy to every person thats comes to your door, then don't give any candy at all. You'll be looked at as being in the same group as the people who give out toothbrushes. 

Everyone on this forum is a halloween fan, and mostly everyone goes all out as much as they can for the holiday. Why do all the decorating and preparing, and not let everyone enjoy it. Its Halloween. Its one night a year. Who cares, don't ruin the spirit.


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## Ween12amEternal (Apr 15, 2006)

I guess we've been lucky. Everyone who comes up, even the ornery, too-cool teens, always give a smile and compliment the display. I'm a sucker for that - nobody goes away empty handed, regardless of how they're dressed!


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## Cab (Sep 13, 2009)

I don't care how old they are... as long as they have made an attempt at some sort of costume we will happily pass out candy. Also, we grew up and were told to say thank you... I believe in saying thank you, it instills a little civility into our lives. 

Yes, I reserve the right to harass and poke fun of any trick or treater (Teen, Adult) who is ambivalent, clueless, or rude. We do not throw malicious insults.

Above all, we try to have a good time with everyone.

Cab


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## MPR_Dan (Sep 15, 2009)

I give everybody the same candy no matter what. 

Most come to see our decorations anyway.


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## aintnohusker (Apr 24, 2009)

Reminds me of a time when I was a kid. A guy about 30 years old with blonde hair, moustache and beard came to the door with some kids. He was wearing a cowboy hat. He held out a bag and my Dad says to him "Who are you supposed to be?" The guy says "General Custer". The old man said "Looks like you don't stand a chance here either." 
That's been about 30 years ago, and I still laugh my butt off everytime I think about it.


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## Brimstonewitch (Aug 23, 2009)

Aintnohusker.....I laughed my butt off reading that! Was loud enough to bring my son into the room wondering what was so funny! He didn't get it ...


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## Winklesun (Nov 1, 2008)

How about the teens that dress up year round? There is one that works at a store here that would get extra candy from me if he actually put on something that DIDN'T look like a halloween costume!!


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## ravenworks69 (Sep 27, 2009)

We hand out the treat bags (paper, not the see through kind) with candy and small toys inside. They come in packs of 40, 10 per color, blue, green, orange, purple. I take 1 color (say the green) and put a single Dum-Dum sucker in it and hand those to the type of kids were talking about.

When they get home, they open it up and see the sucker but they also see the business card size note I printed out that reads.. *"No costume? Now thats a Dum-Dum"*

They get their candy and I get my point across.

I was being nostalgic about it for a while and put a rock inside (ala Charlie Brown) but I figured if they opened the bag prematurely, they could do much less damage with a Dum-Dum.

Marc V.


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## Tannasgach (Nov 1, 2009)

One year I had 3 teenage boys show up at the end of the night - no costumes, just pillowcases. "C'mon guys, you didn't even dress up." To which one replied, "Yes we did, we're losers!" Made me laugh. I always give them candy but I'll harass the kids I know. "Ewww, scary mask!"

But I do make sure my teenage daughter dresses up in some kind of costume before she goes trick-or-treating or else she's not allowed out.


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## chop shop (Oct 31, 2010)

Sorry...No Costume, No Candy. ... but I dont make it a "bad" thing. 

It doesn't happen often, and when it does its always a teenager ... I would never turn a "kiddie" away for lack of a costume...period. Besides..It just never happens that way. 

When I get the group without costumes, I give them a razzing,,,all in good fun. I always keep everyone laughing. Then, I open up my handy loaner bag with various el-cheapo half masks, hats, wigs, whatever.. and every single one of them has to play along in the spirit of tradition. They are always laughing, they are always eager to play along, and they give the stuff right back. 

Its in all good fun!


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## chop shop (Oct 31, 2010)

ravenworks69 said:


> We hand out the treat bags (paper, not the see through kind) with candy and small toys inside. They come in packs of 40, 10 per color, blue, green, orange, purple. I take 1 color (say the green) and put a single Dum-Dum sucker in it and hand those to the type of kids were talking about.
> 
> When they get home, they open it up and see the sucker but they also see the business card size note I printed out that reads.. *"No costume? Now thats a Dum-Dum"*
> 
> ...



ooohhh, thats really good!!  .


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## RunawayOctober (Jul 3, 2011)

Here are my scattered thoughts on this.

1.) I think those who are giving candy to everyone regardless are "ruining" the Halloween spirit. If that comes to be the standard, those dressing up will stop dressing up. How much better would the night be is everyone knew they needed a good costume to get anything? I've been to a few conventions and have seen some awesome costumes made out of cardboard or old sheets, so money is not a requirement, but ingenuity is. Is that such a bad thing to teach youngsters?

2.) I'll ohh and ahh over your baby all night long, but if you insist the baby needs candy - nope. You want candy? Sure.

3.) Candy is ridiculously expensive. Even the cheapest of the cheapo candy. No costume = No candy. I'll probably be shutting down about 4am. If you want candy from me, come back when you have a costume. I'm not spending my time and money on someone who can't be bothered to try. We spend between $100-$150 on just the candy alone. 

4.) Please at least attempt to say trick or treat. If you're over 10ish, I should be able to hear it. You're out on the street during a busy night. You're not paralyzingly shy or you wouldn't be out. Also, I'd rather get a smile as you turn to run to the next house, than a thank you. But that's because I really enjoy the enthusiasm. 

5.) Every year, since we've been in this house, someone always goes down the street, chucks all the pumpkins into the road and then runs them over. So, really, I'm not too worried about upsetting some already disgruntled jerk by telling him/her no candy. (Also, this year, I'm doing my damnedest to catch them.)

So, really, I don't care how old you are, it all boils down to costumes. If you can't be bothered, neither can I. 45 years old dressed like HeMan, sure! 3 years old dressed as a sheet ghost, sure! A surly teenager with a backpack and no costume, not happening.


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## Spookilicious mama (Feb 27, 2008)

*I give candy to whoever comes to my door.*


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## lisa48317 (Jul 23, 2010)

Last year was the first time I'd actually gotten to be at my house for TOTing! I learned that the hubby will get a bag of (in his words) "boring" candy and give that to the older kids who make no effort and - like I saw - an older, non English speaking woman pushing a stroller who just came up the driveway & stood there. Anyone who makes an effort gets a handful of the "good stuff". 

Last year kind of sucked anyway - since it was really cold out & everyone had coats / sweatshirts on!


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## theworstwitch (Aug 14, 2006)

I would at least ask "What do you say?" Can't resist putting them on the spot a little, but I could forgive the teens not wearing costumes, at least they came out.


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## Junit (Sep 1, 2008)

I say trick them (If they are teens who won't dress up or say trick or treat, they're begging to be tricked!!). Empty boxes of dots that have been reglued to look sealed. bags of skittles that have been refilled with... the un-skinned chick peas... And no candy either way if you don't say trick or treat at this house(exception for tiny tots obviously), I demand it  You can come without a costume, but you must say three words.


Ravenworks- We hand out the treat bags (paper, not the see through kind) with candy and small toys inside. They come in packs of 40, 10 per color, blue, green, orange, purple. I take 1 color (say the green) and put a single Dum-Dum sucker in it and hand those to the type of kids were talking about.

When they get home, they open it up and see the sucker but they also see the business card size note I printed out that reads.. "No costume? Now thats a Dum-Dum"

They get their candy and I get my point across. I really like this idea!


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## RCIAG (Jul 19, 2010)

Spookilicious mama said:


> *I give candy to whoever comes to my door.*


Same here.

I don't wanna hafta drag that crap to work, eat it myself or store the non-edible leftovers some place until next year.

Which is what happened last year since we had only 30 kids.


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## Guest (Jul 20, 2011)

I live in military housing with hundreds of homes. Thousands of people live in our small area.
I have tons of teen neighbors. Although I wish they would have spirit, I don't want them to feel like the biggest Halloween house is inhabited by a stingy broad. I am up for all TOTs. Plus, it's my favorite holiday, and the only thing that would ruin it is if the teens I did not give candy to came back while I was sleeping and destroyed my yard, or stole my 6 ft Jason, or my awesome 6 ft hanging vampire! Just my opinion!
ALSO- I know lots of older kids whose parents WILL NOT give them money for a costume. I actually let my sons friends borrow costumes and props before for Halloween night. (He is 15) They see our stuff and get super excited, and want to participate. I'd rather be a positive force!


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## jenscats5 (Oct 16, 2010)

I always greet our TOT'ers regardless of age and say "Hello or HI! Trick or Treat" and I find most say it back.....if somebody has a great costume I give extra candy & tell them so! I've been surprised in the past few years at the amount of thank yous I get - a lot!

I had an adult last year who practically jumped up our path yelling "Happy Halloween!" while dressed up - I gave him candy too!


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## CaliforniaMelanie (Sep 8, 2008)

I don't remember whether I answered this thread or not, but I give everybody candy, absolutely everybody. I always have these treat bags made up and I even try to get the parents to take one. 

I do it because adults are reliving the fun, and teens are getting in on the fun while still trying to look cool...and no, I don't fault that. I wasn't Ms. Popular by any means as a teenager, but I do still remember how merciless some kids could be to others if they did something "dorky." (Hearkening back to the 80s, obviously!) Social suicide when it's hard enough to have your good buddies plus maaaaaaybe a boyfriend/girlfriend (boys, in my case) even at your "coolest best". Trick-or-treat and love it for one hour, pay for it for the remainder of the school year? Just try to remember when you were a kid. It can be tough.

Anyway...I just wanted to add to the thread by answering people who think adults are just doing it for the free candy (or teens). Even if they could find a free costume somewhere, do you really think big kids and adults are going through all that just to get "free" candy? They couldn't have sprung $4 on a jumbo bag of Halloween mix what-have-you?

I've heard people say kids arrive on city buses. The bus fare for themselves and their parents would almost certainly buy a nice big bag of candy.

And any teen worth his or her salt either has a job, or is incredibly spoiled and gets an allowance...  And I am SURE these kids are able to go get candy whenever they want to.

Even the kids who just black their faces out...that black pan makeup still costs a dollar or two. That could have gone to candy_ instead_, and the buyer sitting at home with his lights out watching a scary movie and thumbing at H'ween whenever there was a knock at the door...rather than tearing up the streets joining in the fun.

I did dress my kids as tiny tots when they couldn't even eat candy. I wanted them to have the experience of going out when it was almost dark (remember, they were little!), that slight spookiness, mixed with the cheeriness of neighbors loving them simply because they were cute, simply because they were themselves, simply because it was a nice holiday.

I mean honestly, when my middle son was an infant, we were soooo poor for his first year. I made his costume -- he was Bam-Bam...and I probably spent $7-ish dollars on absolutely everything: material, thread, and his TOT bag. It took me four weeks of hand-sewing to accomplish. You don't think I'd have as easily taken that $7 and gone to the store for two ginormous H'ween candy bags to dive into selfishly, and save myself all the trouble?  

Come on. Have you ever toddled an infant door-to-door on H'ween? With the child moving at the speed of snail, you're holding up his little hands by bending over and killing your back every second of the way, walking slllllloooooooowly up to the neighbor's front door and yelling merrily for him, "Trick or Treat!" because he can't really say the words yet, then hitching slllllowly back, bent over forward again...Seriously, you get to like 3 houses, it took like 45 minutes for those 3 pieces of candy and you say "Junior has had his experience!" and everyone goes home merry and happy. How many people here honestly believe that's what parents go through for 3 or 4 pieces of candy?

The bigger kids who say they're doing it "just" for the candy are lying. They're doing it because they want to hang on to that awesome, slightly scary, slightly amazing ("OMG...somebody gave me something just for existing!") experience. They say it's just for the candy because their friends would absolutely tear them to shreds up on end and down the other, leaving body parts all along the street, if they admitted they still find Halloween fun. Have pity on them. As a girl I think I was able to extend the ToTing bit a little farther; somehow girls are "allowed" dressup for a longer period of time. And even then, at 12 I remember some of my friends going, "Really?" when I told them I was going out. Only one would go with me and that was with the stipulation that it was her last year. For the boys? Have pity on those poor teenage boys, people. Even the faintest thread of unrealistic hope of ever getting laid before Senior Year will go straight out that window the year they say "I love ToTing! I'm going out...does everybody want to come with me and watch me be polite and say 'thank you'?"

Keep the spirit alive, be understanding, have fun, continue to be "that Halloween house!" and those morose teens will be the haunters one day!


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## CaliforniaMelanie (Sep 8, 2008)

Spats said:


> It is the ONE night that kids are supposed to be allowed to be the insane little howler monkeys they always want to be. It's the one night when the rules of ettiquette go askew.
> 
> They threaten adults for treats (that is what trick or treat means!), they run from house to house making noise and being obnoxious, they don't bother with 'please' or 'thank you' or any other responsible, respectable adult nonsense and if they can fool you into giving more candy than you normally would, well, that's what being a goblin is all about.
> 
> It's the single night of the year when we're supposed to let them be the little terrors they are.


Ha ha, this is exactly how I see it.


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## spooktown1 (Dec 23, 2010)

I personally hate the way Halloween has gone on for the last decade..trunk or treat has to be the lamest idea I have ever heard and thanks in part to all these religioso's who seem to think it's the devil that makes halloween what it is???...Halloween use to have atmosphere and yes the caution of a little danger but nothing anyone can't handle.I have worked at haunts for years and despise these adults and teenagers who literally go trick or treating to ruin it for others!!!!!They laugh and taunt while these little children are trying to have a great experience...As far as this topic goes?..I will not and do not give anything to thse teens who throw color in there hair and call it good...they are lazy and just want things for free(as usual)but i never give in and if they give me crap i shut the door plain and simple.Halloween to me is very special and has always been since I was a kid..still holds that magic for me because I keep it sacred.What puzzles me is the fact that its the one time during the year you can be anything you want and go wild and these kids cant even do that!..laziness indeed.

ST1


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## CaliforniaMelanie (Sep 8, 2008)

RunawayOctober said:


> 1.) I think those who are giving candy to everyone regardless are "ruining" the Halloween spirit. If that comes to be the standard, those dressing up will stop dressing up.


Oh, I disagree with this, personally. Kids LOVE dressing up. It doesn't even have to be H'ween for a kid to dress up...H'ween is just that day's excuse!  Every kid likes to pretend, to make-believe, to be a beautiful princess or a superhero or heroine for one night. 

There's a huge market for kids' costume pieces just for everyday dress-up. Kids love being on stage at their little school productions too for this very reason.

So I personally am not worried at all that kids will stop dressing up for H'ween simply because they don't "have" to. That would be like me saying, "Thank God there's a new pill you can swallow that gives you all your daily nutrition requirements, I shudder at the pain in the *ss it would be to have to keep actually tasting chocolate sundaes," ... LOL!

ETA: By the way, I'm not trying to convince anybody or change anyone's mind. I'm just offering explanations, ones I've personally seen (or been) many a time. You should do what *you* feel is best...it is *your* house and your H'ween so celebrate it as you wish.


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## RunawayOctober (Jul 3, 2011)

CaliforniaMelanie said:


> Oh, I disagree with this, personally. Kids LOVE dressing up. It doesn't even have to be H'ween for a kid to dress up...H'ween is just that day's excuse!  Every kid likes to pretend, to make-believe, to be a beautiful princess or a superhero or heroine for one night.
> 
> There's a huge market for kids' costume pieces just for everyday dress-up. Kids love being on stage at their little school productions too for this very reason.
> 
> ...


That was kind of in response to those who had mentioned that people who don't fling full-sized candy bars to the costumeless are ruining the Halloween spirit. I do definitely agree that kids who want to may still dress up, but I think alot of people have become spoiled knowing that they don't have to dress up and still get free candy. Some of your examples were fine, as far as buying candy is cheaper, but mostly it isn't cheaper to buy it. Buy mask at yard sale in June, walk out door, spend 2 hours running from house to house, drag home ridiculously full bag of candy. Money spent $.50. 

I was dirt poor as a kid. My older sister and I rotated a couple costumes that we could rummage - house wife, pregnant lady, school teacher, waitress, janitor, etc. It didn't cost us a dime, and was no shining star compared to some costumes, but we knew that our parents would never in their right minds let us go without a costume, even when they didn't have the money to afford them.


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## mxmarsh (Jul 17, 2011)

Cant stand it, wish all the kids would dress up but the ones that don't I make them say the magic words. Just because I give out full size bars . The best is when i get the moms and dads to jump scared they get a bar just for making me laugh


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## lblambert (Jul 16, 2011)

CaliforniaMelanie said:


> I don't remember whether I answered this thread or not, but I give everybody candy, absolutely everybody. I always have these treat bags made up and I even try to get the parents to take one.
> 
> I do it because adults are reliving the fun, and teens are getting in on the fun while still trying to look cool...and no, I don't fault that. I wasn't Ms. Popular by any means as a teenager, but I do still remember how merciless some kids could be to others if they did something "dorky." (Hearkening back to the 80s, obviously!) Social suicide when it's hard enough to have your good buddies plus maaaaaaybe a boyfriend/girlfriend (boys, in my case) even at your "coolest best". Trick-or-treat and love it for one hour, pay for it for the remainder of the school year? Just try to remember when you were a kid. It can be tough.
> 
> ...



I know I'm the new guy on the forum but I really think this is very well put!

We live in a pretty good neighborhood...even the teenagers dress up here and almost everyone compliments the decorations and thanks me for the candy. The only ones who don't are the little kids who are just too excited and there is no parent there to remind them. I'm happy to give candy to the older kids as a lot of these teenagers were the little kids who enjoyed coming to my place only a few years ago. Even the adults here give candy to each other when we're all out and about on Halloween. Not many houses decorate here but everyone is at least in the spirit and having fun.


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## Maxiboots (Aug 31, 2010)

I give out full size candy bars and each year I get more and more kids. I don't care if the teens trick or treat as long as they have some sort of costume. I have some tootsie rolls for the teens who don't dress up or I would run out of candy for the little kids. ALL little kids get candy, whether or not they dress up, or say "trick or treat" or "thank you". Some of the kids in my neighborhood don't speak English. Some of the little kids are already pretty darn scared after walking past a cauldron over burning skulls and knocking at the door of a stranger and having a witch answer that door. Some kids can't muster the courage to come onto the porch so I go out to them. 
I have never had any kids throw eggs, or knock over my pumpkins. I think the kids appreciate the decorations more than the candy anyway.


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## Halloweeeiner (Sep 20, 2007)

I never really paid attention to it, by the time I open the door I am already grabbing hand full of candy to hand out. And it really doesn;t matter if the kids/adulst don't have costumes. They made the effort to stop by which is rare in my neighborhood


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