# Maybe Not This Year



## J-Man (Feb 1, 2011)

If she's a good friend, just be honest and explain that your party is something you really look forward to each year. At the same time, your friend is probably excited to host a party in her new house, so what's wrong with having 2 parties? Work out the dates that will work for both of you and go for it!


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## ooojen (Sep 4, 2014)

Oh, that's a tough one! I get it...you don't want to look like you've claimed Halloween for all eternity, but...yet... 
If they're really very good friends, I think you should be able to come right out with it. Tell her you've got all the decorations, and that you look forward to doing an annual Halloween party. Maybe you could ask them if they'd be willing to host a late summer picnic or something instead. I get that you're trying to be polite, but really it's not rude to let them know it's important to you. They probably don't have a clue what hosting means to a Halloween enthusiast. 
Good luck! I do feel for you.

Yep, what they said^^ I already had my comment open when that was posted, but I agree.


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## Sharonr3106 (Sep 8, 2014)

I would agree with J-Man. Do two different dates and two parties. I always go to another party as well as ours. I enjoy wearing two different costumes for two different themes and it's nice to go a party where your the guest not the host, and someone else has the running around to do. Just remember she is your friend and you don't want to fall out, and if there are two parties it's not a competition which one will be best, just enjoy them Also she may realize after doing one, just how much work goes into them and will be glad to hand it back to you! Good Luck


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## Tomslick66 (Jul 7, 2016)

When it comes to Halloween, you can't have too much of a good thing. I'd love a different party every weekend of October. Just don't make it a competition, make it a continuous party at different homes.

Sent from my XT1635-01 using Tapatalk


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## stormygirl84 (Sep 4, 2009)

I thought about having two different parties, but since it would basically include all the same people... It feels awkward. (Like me. I'm awkward. And feel awkward.)

Maybe if I had a different TYPE of party? Like, not just Halloween, but like, a Halloween Game Night? Or Halloween Movie Night?

Like I said, I realize it's a petty, ridiculous thing, and I'm embarrassed to feel this way, but *shrug* I can't help it.

Thanks for understanding, guys! I feel a little better about it!


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## pumpkinpie (Jul 9, 2011)

If I was you I'd either talk to her...or plan on having yours on a separate night. 

I wouldn't graciously hand it over (or you'll never get it back)...trust me I know....now I'm the Halloween one in the family but hubs is all about Christmas. Several years back we wanted to start hosting an annual Ugly Christmas Sweater party too as none of our friends did. Well anyway my good friend decided that year was gonna b her first year to host a Christmas party, I gladly let her....lets not even mention being shoved in a cold undecorated garage all night...but I've never been able to do a party since...heres the kicker, nor does she. Every year she posts an invite and drags out this long list of Facebook posts about food and dress...then every year cancels last minute.


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## Kenneth (Feb 14, 2014)

I may not be the best one to offer advice because i'm known to be a little Petty Labelle but I say don't give it up. We've hosted our party for YEARS and it's a pretty detailed and massive event. We have 3 hosts including myself so we ALL have our own individual friends(and a lot of mutual ones) that look forward to coming every year. We've had people decide to host their own thing...which is fine...but we put a LOT of work and spend a TON of money every year on Halloween to bring new and exciting things for our guests(last year we rented a Uhaul and drove up to New Jersey from southern VA to get a giant witch). I think people always come because they know how passionate we are and they look forward to seeing what we're going to do. And yes, some people may try and throw their own Halloween party but they always come back to us. ;-)

Obviously you can't claim a day or a holiday completely for your own but you can claim your own happiness which is my suggestion for you.


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## margaret (Aug 19, 2013)

I think that you are totally validated in how you feel. You are in a tough spot. Having their party and yours ... might seem as if you are competing and can't let go ... it also may cut down the attendance of both parties. I find it hard to ask someone or tell them that it is my holiday and if you wouldn't mind letting me have the party ... or handing over the reins ... but how about this year ... take a break and tell this person next year the party is once again at your house. It is nice every once in a while to take a break. That way the guests also appreciate your efforts more and whomever is having the party this year will see how much it does take to throw a good Halloween party. But ... do tell them about when you are able to go to the party ... Sundays ... and let them know that you are looking forward to attending their party but if they could please include you ... you would really hate not to have a Halloween Party to attend this year ... and it they are unable to accommodate you ... then ask if they wouldn't mind if you threw your own party.


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## ooojen (Sep 4, 2014)

stormygirl84 said:


> I thought about having two different parties, but since it would basically include all the same people... It feels awkward. (Like me. I'm awkward. And feel awkward.)
> 
> Maybe if I had a different TYPE of party? Like, not just Halloween, but like, a Halloween Game Night? Or Halloween Movie Night?
> 
> ...


I very much like your idea of doing something like a Halloween movie night. As you said, it gives a different spin and doesn't look like it's in competition with your friend's event. Then after watching one movie you could offer another OR just continue to hang out the way you would at your usual parties. That way you don't "lose your Halloween spot" so to speak, but you don't look like you're unwilling to let someone else do the Halloween party, either.


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## thehoghunter (Jul 24, 2007)

Hosted Halloween party for family for 3 or 4 years. Had planned to do a pirate themed party the next year...already bought stuff to decorate with, set up games, etc (this was in MARCH). Found out the wife's niece was getting married and setting up plans ( this was in July)...I mentioned "don't do October as we are busy". Of course, when we get the invite to the wedding, same weekend I was throwing the party. I didn't go to the wedding (the wife did) and I haven't had a halloween party since then. And they were all like "why aren't you having halloween parties anymore?"...and I wasn't allowed to say "because you actually don't appreciate it"

It was always for the family...and a lot of work. Instead of wasting all that time on parties now, I concentrate on the outside decorations for the TOTs. (and I don't go to as many family events...just because).


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## Stochey (Sep 22, 2009)

Stormygirl - If you're petty, I'm petty! I feel the exact same way when other people talk about hosting one. I've taken the last two years off and even then, I've felt completely just gutted when other friends talk about hosting one. What if its better than mine? I would cry! But guess what... through all the talk ... no one has ever followed through with having one. So your friend very well might not either ... especially if you get your invites out first.


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## Vandalay Industries (Sep 1, 2014)

Maybe work out a date that works for both of you and you can co-host at their place since you have all the décor and such. I would love if one of my friends would actually host the party and do all the work and I just provide the decorations.


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## wickedwillingwench (Sep 16, 2011)

Kenneth said:


> I may not be the best one to offer advice because i'm known to be a little Petty Labelle .


omg, LMFAO!!! and gonna steal it!


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## wickedwillingwench (Sep 16, 2011)

i am personally planning on throwing 2 parties...one kid friendly closer to the first of October (because it's not unheard of to be terribly cold or snowy here on Halloween) and then one more adult at the end.

I think you should talk with your friend and explain how it's 'your thing' and work out a schedule OR you could have a progressive party. Drinks/finger (foods) at her house then over to yours for desserts/games.


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## Malicious (Sep 8, 2014)

I agree with what Sharonr3106 said! Did that with my neighbors last year. Gave them the closer to Halloween Saturday. I went to their party. He didn't come to mine  . Their party was totally different from mine as mine is more of a party to have fun eat, drink and visit ( of course i love to make props and decorate ) their party was not so much decor or props but they had a scary maze to go through. It was nice to just be able to relax and enjoy


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## bettyboop (Jul 24, 2010)

Ohhhh, a Progressive Dinner (Party).


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## Kwll2112 (Sep 14, 2016)

My wife and I tell each other if one of our friends threw the kind of HW party that we do, we'd stop all we do and just go to theirs. In truth though, I'm not sure we'd stop. It's a lot of fun. We do like you do and every room on the 1st floor and outside is extremely decorated (2 story house, 2nd floor not touched). It's a lot of work, but I enjoy the planning and prop making. And we both enjoy the accolades we get. Always great to see the amazed look on people's faces.

In addition to the party, we open our house up on HW night and have hundreds walk through. It's a great time. We also have a senior night, where we invite some of the nearby senior living communities to walk through, and also host a charity fundraiser for the music programs for several local schools. IOW, we try to get our "money's" worth out of all the time we put into setting up all the decor and props. 

If my friend did what your friend did, saying "maybe we should have the HW party at our house," I'd feel put off by that, too. Clearly, they have no idea how much time and money you put into your parties and don't appreciate it for what it is. Which, isn't all that unexpected, as many people that come to our house don't understand the hundreds of man-hours we put in. 

But, you said they have nothing in terms of HW decorations. Either they'll realize it's a lot more work and money than they expected and not do it, or it won't be as well-decorated, or they'll go all in. If you like decorating and having the parties, then keep doing it. I would coordinate with your friend so you both don't have parties on the same night, but let her know you're still going to be doing yours.


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## a_granger (Oct 21, 2012)

Your right...It's a hard spot to be in. I understand the great joy of being in your element such as these parties give you and how rarely some of us get to have that. 

I can also understand the overwhelming desire to share and host in a brand new home. I think talking is very good as your are close friends. As I'm reading all these posts, I just wonder if after they get the 1st time hosting out of their systems, your friends may just gladly hand the reins back over your very capable hands...Just a thought. That way they can share their new pleasure at being home owners and when they settle in you could return as the Hostess With The Mostess!

Another thought, some times nice to have a break from all the pressure of being such a show stopper. Let's you recharge for a season...

And I really like that idea of a different type of party like a move night! 
I hope this all works out for you and your friends so you each can enjoy the festivities!


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## mamadada (Aug 18, 2008)

I think she wants to throw a party because you said that she was moving into a new house and it was bigger. Everybody that moves into a new house wants to throw a party. I really think she's jealous of you and that's her way of digging into you. What you need to do is set your date and then do a save the date six weeks out and send it out via email or whatever method you think everybody would accept. Do it six weeks ahead of time - eight weeks to be safe but six weeks would be appropriate. Do something cute not something plain. Make it eye-catching maybe with music and movement.


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