# RSVP Problems?



## gennifyr (Aug 22, 2006)

I'm having the same issue this year. I think maybe 2 people actually contacted us. One in particular I've messaged on facebook and seen this person online frequently and they refuse to respond. It's so rude.


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## AngelEye (Oct 10, 2007)

My husband and I are having the EXACT same problem. We did last year too, to the point that he didn't want to have the party this year. So the compromise was that we would leave off the people from the list who didn't RSVP and/or just didn't show up. 

We had made a few new friends in the year so the list was about the same length anyway. This year we have invited right around 40 people 12 of which have responded that they are going, 2 maybees, about 6 noes.. To the rest of the people who have not even looked at the dang invite, we have sent out a reminder e-mail ourselves asking everyone to view it and respond. 

We are in agreement this year again that whoever doesn't respond and/or doesn't show up is left off the list for next year. 

(My old boss got wind of this new practice and was sort of mad about it..) Well, show up next time!


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## Frankie's Girl (Aug 27, 2007)

If they are good friends, I'd just call them up and ask them. Maybe explain that you really need a head count for your food prep.

If they are casual friends, I'd possibly mark them off for next year. 

It's just plain rude to not RSVP yes or no.


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## peyote2004 (Oct 12, 2007)

I had the same problem... I sent out a reminder a week before the party with the directions to our house... worse than people not RSVPing is the ones that say their coming but don't show.


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## AngelEye (Oct 10, 2007)

peyote2004 said:


> I had the same problem... I sent out a reminder a week before the party with the directions to our house... worse than people not RSVPing is the ones that say their coming but don't show.


I agree! The complaint that seems to be floating around people we know is that we are far away. We aren't for starters.. the farthest may be 40 minutes. But even so, what is that when compared to having free alcohol and food, prizes totaling close to $100 for winners of games, and you get to play arcades and have a blast?? We go out of our way for our friend's parties and expect the same in return. My husband is pretty mad about it and doesn't want to have one next year yet again. We have spent a couple thousand dollars on this party and did last year too. To have no one come to enjoy it seems like kind of a waste. We'll see if his reminder letter works...


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## jesstyler (Sep 26, 2007)

That always happens to me ... This year I did "regrets only" on the invite ... so we'll see if the people who didn't call and tell me they aren't coming show up or not. My fiance and I have a weird schedule ... I work nights (3 p.m. to 2 a.m.) and he works from home, so our list of friends is pretty small. I just send an invite to everyone and hope for the best. If they don't show up, their loss. We still have a blast. Even if it's just us and our neighbors this year!


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## colmmoo (Jul 23, 2005)

I'm getting a couple of slackers this year who still haven't RSVP'd and the party is this weekend. I have 14 maybes. Depending on how well you know people and if they showed up in the past, you can pretty much tell who in the Maybe list would possibly come and add them to the attendee list. Majority of cases, Maybe means no.


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## Bobcats110 (Oct 23, 2007)

I had what I expect to be my last RSVP email tonight. We've been exceptionally fortunate that most of the people we invited are coming (we only invited 12, small group). What might have helped is I talked up my party back in early September and asked "what are you doing October 27th?". Most people said "no clue", so I said we were having a party and said I would send them an invitation. I think by giving them a heads up, and being specific about the RSVP helped.


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## silent_cries_go_unheard (Sep 2, 2004)

My husband and I are having this problem as well we have sent out 50 invites 4 have responded and like others I have seen several online and asked them and gotten no response whatsoever they have even sent me other off topic messages but refuse to answer yes or no about the party. I dont want to run out of food because people don't RSVP but show up WHy cant people just say a simple yes or no i mean really if you cant come thats ok but at least let me know


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## wilbret (Oct 8, 2004)

SSDY. I sent out invites in September for our party that is the same day at the same time every year (Friday before HW at 8:30). Sent out an email reminder on Friday. Emailed or called friends yesterday and today to find out their deal.

Pisses me off that people won't even give you the courtesy of a reply to an email. These are people that would reply to the email if it was for anything else, they are just too 'chicken' to tell me they either aren't coming or haven't decided. 

I really think this is our last party for a while. With the baby on the way, turnout issues, weather problems, job changes... it is just too much. The crappy part is it's about the only thing that makes me happy these days. 

What's crazy is people that come talk about the party all year and have a great time when they are here, it's just the nature of people. It happens for other parties and a friend who throws a huge xmas party has the same problems.


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## colmmoo (Jul 23, 2005)

My problem is getting people to stick around longer for the party. I put in hours and hours of work setting up each room in the house and most stay for two and a half hours at the most. It ticks me off. Makes me not want to have the party next year.


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## Hillrat6 (Oct 2, 2006)

What is it with people? My guests have raved all year about how much fun they had at our parties (and I've even had non-invitees fish for an invite), but they can't even call or e-mail me to give me a definite response? I'm just a bit peeved because it's not cheap to throw a party, as you all know, and it does take a lot of effort. Oh well . . . back to getting things done for the party.


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## ladivanicotina (Oct 18, 2007)

i'm have the troubles!

our attendee list has grown from 15 to 30 in five days, with only 5 days before my party!

my boyfriend, who's only concern is the decoration, doesn't seem to see an issue with this, while i'm consistently contacting the chocolate shop for the chocolate fountain and doubling the recipes for my snackies!

grr!


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## gennifyr (Aug 22, 2006)

I'm only cooking enough food for the people that replied. If anyone shows up that didn't I'm thinking about carrying around a wooden spoon and smacking the knuckles of any of them that attempt to nibble the goodies.


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## johnshenry (Sep 24, 2006)

We have problems with this every year, but after 15 years, I just learned to not let it bug me. At our old address, we typically got 15-20 fun people. In 2004 we moved and was the one year we had no party. In 2005 we invited 80 people, we got 16. We had moved 40 miles away from our old friends, so of course lots didn't come. 

Last year invited 100+ got maybe 50. I was truly pumped. 

This year we invited 120, and so far have about 34 confirms. 40-50 is a houseful, and its "quality" not quantity that counts...

Basically we 1) never plan food around a specified number. With 2-3 days out, we buy food and drink plus a bit more for the commits we have, and that is it. If we run out, so be it. Come early, eat early.

2) We "pull" RSVPs from lots of people, in passing, co workers, at church (we're not southern baptists..;-) around town, etc. At least from those who we expect to come... and of course those we know will "make" the party.

Bottom line is that I have accepted that attendance will wax and wane year to year, I just want to have a good party that people will want to come to. I know if anybody doesn't come it isn't because they didn't have a good time last year.

So yes, we put an RSVP date on the invites, but don't rely on it too much. I know that social things (except my own party, of course) don't rate very high for my attention in the day to day, so I can understand where people can just plain forget to reply...


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## Long_Tom (Oct 26, 2005)

I have had reasonable success in getting people to respond to eVites. www.evite.com. 

I suppose it depends on your friends, though, and how they feel about online invitations. A few years ago I was leery of them, figuring they were just one more source of spam. Now all my friends are using them, and we are pretty well trained to click the response.

For my halloweeen party, I like to send the physical invitation for the amusement factor. Then I follow up with an eVite, to reconfirm logistics.


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## Charmed28 (Oct 7, 2006)

Last year was my first party. I had people telling me all year it should be a new tradition, halloween for my birthday party.
I am doing it again this year, and all people that talked about how much fun they had and the idea of a tradition, have not rsvp'd yet or rsvp'd "maybe".

I am very upset. All because there is a big party in the city that same day. I sent my "save the date" e-mails in September, and everyone replied very excited. 

I don't care if they don't come anymore, the party will still be fun, there are lots of friends coming, but why not RSVP??


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## Embalmer71 (Sep 25, 2007)

Last year was our first party, and we had problems with R.S.V.P. All we did was call everybody who didn't respond on the R.S.V.P. date. Last year we invited 60 people and got 45. This year wasn't too bad. We only had 38 out of 116 that didn't respond, and we have a confirmed list of 73. The catering was ordered two weeks ago, and the keg is reserved. This should be interesting.


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## OMGDan (Sep 28, 2006)

Glad and surprised to see i'm not the only person having this problem.

My annual party is the saturday before halloween each year. Hundreds of dollars go into it, each room is decorated and people don't start to leave till around 1-2am. Everyone always seems to love it.

This year i started telling people back in September to give everyone enough notice. Sure enough everyone seemed excited. Reminded them about it at the beginning of October, people started dropping out, that was expected. 

But then giving a final RSVP date of last Friday, (as the only time i had left to go out and buy the prizes for games and know how much food to order was the Saturday) only a few people told me by the Friday.

The one person that pisses me off the most is my supposed 'best friend'. Kept asking questions about it, going on and on, asking if it was going to be good as previous years, to which my reply was "even better, loads of new surprises" and after all the questions he asked, he said "i dunno...maybe"

Now in the 9 years i've known him, always been an attention seeker type, would always do stuff like that so people beg him, and he feels special. But by saturday i hadn't heard a word from him. And i know that this coming saturday, day of my party, he'll call and ask if it's my party (acting dumb) and i'm gonna flat out tell him, yes it is, but you nor your guests who i said you could have can come. I've only bought so much for so many people.

Lesson learned, some people just aren't getting an invite next year. I'll save them for those who appreciate the work, money and effort that goes into this. I know of no one else around here who throws a halloween party, i wish they would, so all i had to do every year was just turn up and eat free food.


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## drmort (Sep 30, 2004)

*kids party rsvp*

my preteen son attends a private school w/ parents that should know correct manners but...still I have trouble w/ RSVPs! It has been a pet peeve.


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## blackat (Oct 27, 2007)

I like to use evites on-line, it worked wonders for me. For those of you who like to send a "formal" invatation, just do both! When I first sent it out only a few people responded and once it got closer to the party evites gives you an option to resend your invatation as a reminder to only the people who havent responded yet. It worked wonders for me!


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