# Clown Jokes



## hallorenescene

cute jokes. i especially like the lawyer one. lol.


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## Otaku

Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other, "Does this taste funny to you?"


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## Junit

I like the lawyer one. I've heard the tree air freshener one a hwile back as a blonde joke too


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## hallorenescene

a bunch of clowns get on a bus and sit behind a jester out of costume. the jester overhears as the clowns make reference to you shouldn't go to certain states because there are to many jesters there. well, they all agree, one should never embark on an acquaitance with such a being. as they are trying to figure the best states to reside in, along with some unkind remarks, the jester finally hearing enough turns around and suggests they all go to heck because they won't find any jesters there.


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## Gothic Klown

What's the differance between a dead cat in the road and a dead clown in the road? 
There's skid marks in front of the cat. 


Why arn't you allowed to incinnerate clowns? 
They burn funny. 


How do you kill a clown who has big floppy shoes? 
With a big floppy sack of door knobs. 


What's better than a clown falling out of a window? 
Another one below him. 


A lady is giving a party for her granddaughter and has gone all out - 
caterer, band and a hired clown. Just before the party starts, two bums 
show up looking for a handout. Feeling sorry for the bums, the woman tells them that they can get a meal if they will chop some wood out back. 
Gratefully, they head to the rear of the house. 
Guests arrive, and all is going well, with the children having a wonderful 
time. But, the clown has not shown up and finally, the clown calls to 
report that he is stuck in traffic and will probably not make the party at 
all. 

The woman is very disappointed and unsuccessfully tries to entertain the 
children herself. She happens to look out the window and sees one of the 
bums doing cartwheels across the lawn. She watches in awe as he swings from tree branches, does midair flips and leaps high in the air. 

She speaks to the other bum and says, "What your friend is doing is 
absolutely marvelous. I have never seen such a thing. Do you think your 
friend would consider repeating this performance for the children at the 
party? I would pay him $50!" 

Other bum says, "Well, I dunno. Let me ask him." He then turned to Willie and yelled, "Hey Willie! For $50, would you chop off another toe?" 

Reasons You Should Avoid When Hiring A Clown:
* By the end of the party, he's got every damn kid doing the "pull my finger" trick.
* Clown car must be started with breathalyzer device.
* Keeps screaming, "My name's not BO-zo, it's bo-ZO!"
* References to Kierkegaard and Nietzsche are lost on most 5-year olds.
* Props for his "disappearing" trick: a moving van and your wide-screen TV.
* Scares the holy hell outta the kids during the "Severed Limb" trick.
* Tells the kids he killed Barney in a blood match in Newark.
* Didn't bring any balloons, but manages to twist your dachshund into other animal shapes.
* Prefaces each trick with, "here's a little number I learned in the joint."
* Not exactly the Peewee Herman impression you were expecting.
* Wears a T-Shirt that says, "Drug-free since March!"
* More interested in squirting seltzer into his Scotch than into his pants.
* Those huge ears look too darn life-like, and the entire act consists of showing charts and complaining about the deficit.
* A sad clown is one thing -- a clown who spends the entire party with a gun to his temple is another thing entirely.
* Only balloon animals he can make are a snake and a "snake on acid."
* Business cards include the phrase "From the Mind of Stephen King..."
* Price list includes "lap dance" and "around the world.
* All the balloon animals are ribbed and lubricated.


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## warduria

Funny, thanks.


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