# "Crumpkin's Pumpkins" online pumpkin patch - it's a Virtual Nightmare...!



## Son-of-Thing

Greetings HF Members! 

New over here, and just wanted to post an introductory link to my viciously virtual, poisonously perilous online pumpkin patch, "Crumpkin's Pumpkins" --

www.crumpkinspumpkins.com 

DSL-or-+ broadband is required, and first time Visitors may wish to review the "Viewing Guide" before immersing in this online entertainment. 

_Meet the pumpkins! Get lost in our Hay Maze! Boost some wicked cool freebies from the Gift Shop (no adware/spyware attached to downloads)!, and try to get out of the Patch alive! heh, heh... _ 

More mischief coming in '08! Hope you have a horribly good time... 

Most Sanguine Cheers,
SOT


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## Son-of-Thing

BUMP in the Night..., _heh-heh_... 

Just an update for our visitors, to let you know we've added a few new features, and more wicked whimsy is in the works. 



YouTube - Crumpkin's Pumpkins' Pumpkin Song


If it's been a while since you've visited The Patch, click-on by -- and see if you can get out again... 

Most Sanguine Cheers!
SOT


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## hallorenescene

that was very cute. everything was so well put together. you got some pretty nice cars there as well. Very nice indeed, i loved it!


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## Son-of-Thing

"Cute?" _"CUTE?"_ It was supposed to be _TERRIFYING!_ Or, well, at least _deeply unsettling_. 

I'll have you know I've had it confirmed by several sources that this video is at a _minimum _ "Darkly Humorous". (True, those opinions do come from the Zombies out by the swamps, and therefore their views _are_ somewhat suspect, but _still_...) 

Oh alright, maybe it's only a _bit_ scarier than _The Munsters_, and we hope _at least as weird_ as _The Addams Family_. But _"cute"?_ Hal, kid, you're killin' me, and that's not so easy (just ask that pest Van Helsing...)! 

We horrible, scary, poisonous, nasty Pumpkin Patch Demons have our dignity, you know. 

Your _other _comments were quite welcome, though, and so nice we'll be pinning them up on the door of the old refrigerator rusting around back of the 'Gift Shoppe' here at The Patch. And believe me, what's inside of _it_ is _not_ "cute" at all. _Heh-heh_... 

Most _Sanguine_ Cheers,
SOT


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## hallorenescene

okay, darkly humorous, but when a little 2 year old watches and doesn't run screaming from the room but claps and says play it again hallo, it's a .... relief. so let's just go with very well made and darkly humorous the son of thing


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## milemarker

LOL ... sorry , but had my wife watched it after myself , and she too , thought it was "cute" . She also wondered something she caught . She was wondering if the "ghost" that was in the trailer , was happy to see you or what ? ( We viewed the vid at full screeen HD on YOUTUBE : YouTube - Crumpkin's Pumpkins' Pumpkin Song )
And scarey ? ... sorry , afraid not .


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## Son-of-Thing

Ah yes, Hal, but what you don' t realize is that, upon the _second_ viewing -- the viewer is thereafter _possessed_! Um, sorry about your tot -- should we have included a _Disclaimer_ up front? 

(Oh, alright, we'll pull some strings and undo the possession-thing. But just this once, and only for your wee tyke. If _you've_ seen it twice, well, that's that then...)

And MM -- _Yes!_ The "ghost" in the trailer (aka, ol' "Lumpy" Crumpkin himself) is _very_ happy to see you. _Especially_ if you're _alone_. And _most especially_ if you're alone on _Halloween night_... Several of Lumpy's guests are still hanging around The Patch, if you know what I mean. _Heh-heh_... 

And, well, if you won't say our video is "scary", _per se_, then at least you've got to admit it's got lots of _scary things_ in it! It _does!_ It does, it does, i_t does...!_ (and maybe it _is_ scary if you watch it in the dark with a friend and each of you holds a flashlight under your chins and makes Vincent Price-faces.) 

We can't _all_ be doing the "Saw"-thing, y'know. Some of us prefer to let our Visitors discover the legless corpses, disembodied heads, electrocution victims, and mutilated -- well..., let's just say, _"Other Attractions"_, here at The Patch at a more laid-back, shall I say, _chilling_, pace. We take a somewhat more bucolic approach to these things... 

But anybody says "cute" again, and we get the _Big Book_ out (you know the one we mean) and call for _Back-Up_... 

_Most_ Sanguine Cheers,
SOT


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## hallorenescene

Creepy dancing singing pumpkins and
Utterings from the crumpkins 
Tell of many 
Evils














hahaha


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## Son-of-Thing

Evidently you _have_ viewed our video twice, Hal... Welcome aboard! _heh-heh_...

(We're having the legal staff look into that "Disclaimer"-thing...)

Most _Sanguine_ Cheers,
SOT


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## hallorenescene

i think it needs to be passed on because it is so ____. i think i will send it to baron sami
i think i will send it on to bethene
i think i will send it to madame t
and malificent, and mhooch, the costumer, and i can't remember but maybe a couple of others. now i hope i haven't ruined your reputation and they all come back with a ---- comment.


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## hallorenescene

yeah, i've watched it several times. i'm not signing any disclaimer. hey, how'd you like how i got away with the ---- word again. didn't catch it did you?


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## Son-of-Thing

_ARRRRRrrrrgghh…! _

By the Eternal Flaming Rash of the Great Orkin BallHog! _Now_ you’ll _pay_, girl – 

_“Caveo… Pessimus… Cucurbitacea…!” _ 

Just remember, when the _vines_ start coming up for you through the floorboards, you _asked_ for it. And _another_ thing – 

Uh, hang on a sec, got a call coming in on the _Hot Line_…

Yes? Well, _yes_, but she -- Yes, _but_… Really, it was only a _minor_ incantation, Sir… And after she _did_ -- But... Yes, Sir. Very well. 

_Hmmm._ It would appear you’ve been _reprieved_ from the Wrath of the Gourds, Hal. My little invocation has been _waived_, it seems. I’ve been informed that the _Home Office_ has taken notice of your recent posts and regards you as potential ‘First Class Taunter’ material. Good luck if they send you an _interview request_. _Heh-heh_… 

Most Sanguine Cheers,
SOT


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## hallorenescene

cocosan, hhhmmmm, i have an email he has looked at this site, but when i pull up here i don't see him. odd


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## shadowless

hallorenescene is right. that was SO


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## shadowless

jk. actually, it was really cool in a creepy way. i will not complain about my job again.


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## kprimm

Terrifying web site. Very well done.


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## Son-of-Thing

Alright, Shadowless, _you're_ going in the cauldron _too_... _Grrrrrr_... I think this constitutes an official_ "cute" attack_. (Should I whine to Larry?) _Oooo..._ Once I find where I left my _wand_ and _pointy-hat_, kiddo..., well... just look out... (And your _"job"_ is what? "Taunter-in-training"...? _Hmmm?_)

A_hem_.

lol.........

Kprimm, thank _you_ for your very nice -- and _dignified_ -- comment. It is appreciated!

Please excuse me, I'm off to look for my pointy-hat now (and yes, it's the one with the _moons and stars_ on it, _not_ the letter _"D"! _ lol.........)


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## shadowless

omg...what have i done?!? i can no longer sleep at night. i can feel the flickering yellow eyes watching me from the depths of the outer darkness. toothy grins silently laughing as my doom is planned. i implore you, can you not find it in your heart to let go of such anger towards cute? must you really attack cute?
http://www.gronnevik.se/rjukan/uploads/Main/cute_kitten.p.jpg


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## Son-of-Thing

_Heh-heh_...











Well Shadowless..., of course _I_ wouldn't attack "cute". But I'm having something of a time holding back some of the _other Denizens_ around here... Still, I think I've got things under control. Go back to sleep now. _Sweet dreams... _

MSC,
SOT


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## hallorenescene

aweee, the great sot does indeed have things under control. i am breaking the horrible spell sot has placed on me. enough with the cute stuff. so my computer will no longer malfunction as it has since the curse was placed on me, i have been reduced to telling my grandaughter the pumpkins are not cute but come in the night and squeesh you while you sleep. reduced to tears she crys, don't let the terrifying pumpkins get me grandma. 








[whispers, yes sweety, i know the pumpkins are v e r y cute]
might i repeat-
creepy dancing singing pumpkins and
utterings from the crumptons
tell of many
evils


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## Son-of-Thing

_LOL...._

(breath)

_LOL........_.

_Owwwww! _ Ooops...

Oh _fine_. Now you've made me bust my _stitches_. (And they were the ones I did _myself_, too...) 

Thanks Hallo. Thank you _very _much. No, _really_. Now I get to do them _all over_... 

As to your computer mishaps, well, I had nothing to do with it. We stick strictly to _organics _here at The Patch. Oh, btw, do you like _spiders _as much as we do? Hope so... _Heh-heh..._


Too funny
Again
U
Naughty
Tauntress; bet you think I didn't
Recognize your little vertical
Epistle the first time I
Spotted it
Slandering my thread...?

Good luck with R-3DPO there...  

MSC,
SOT


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## Son-of-Thing

Oh, and a note about the Kiddies... If you bring them to The Patch, it's best to not lose sight of them...


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## hallorenescene

lose sight of them, why, i still see where the little dear is. oh look, a sweet babysitter. the kiddies won't get lost that way. and giving hugs, what kid could resist. and yes i do think you didn't notice my little taunt till i spelled it out for you in color. lol. and i just went back and viewed the video, i didn't see one little spider. not one. [wipe sweat off brow, looks around the room.] oh i do adore spiders. [lying through the teeth.] we are such good friends. [as long as i have a broom or sturdy shoe ]


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## Son-of-Thing

_This_ could be educational...

YouTube - Spiders On Drugs

(And, a few favorite _"spider quotes"_ from the dear departed "Boney Island" haunt:

"Help me.... Help me... Help me find four pair of shoes..."

"Help me.... Help me... Help me kill the Orkin Man..."

"Help me.... Help me... Help me tell the difference between Ashley and Mary-Kate..."

"Help me.... Help me... Help me find my contact lens -- Oh, _thanks_ a _lot_, Big-Foot!..."

"Help me.... Help me... Help me find a recipe that makes _flies _taste good..."

Too many to quote here... lol...

More about the amazing "Boney Island", here -- YouTube - Boney Island Yard Haunt 2007


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## hallorenescene

spiders?
think, think, need something to calm the kids down
okay kids, lets get into your halloween costumes and watch the 
creepy dancing singing pumpkins and
utterings from the crumptons
tell of many
evils








YouTube - Crumpkin's Pumpkins' Pumpkin Song
whew, thank goodness for cute things


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## Son-of-Thing

Oh well..., _that's_ what I get for hoping this thread would get _back on track_... 

Ah yes, and Hallo? I _did_ find those 'paranormal accessories' I was looking for, and have whipped up a little _modification_ to the _visitors _we're sending along--









_"Cute?"_ Perhaps. Until you _light _'em, _and they come looking for you... _

_Heh..._

MSC,
SOT


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## shadowless

*cute kitty kitty*

Crumpkin....meet Merlin.....

isn't he cute?

YouTube - The Great Pumpkin Feast


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## Son-of-Thing

"Is this normal?" No. Cute, maybe, but _normal_, no... 

_Grrrr..._ 

So. Shadowless... _Hmmmm._ Methinks I do detect a serious case of _"The Cuties"_ here. 

Such _impudence_ deserves suitable _attention_. In medieval times we, _er, they_ used to send such cases to _"the Barber"_ for a good _bleeding _-- 

YouTube - Sweeney Floyd: The Dim-Wit Barber of Mayberry 

I've made an _appointment_ for you. _"Next...!"_

_Heh... _ 

Most _Sanguine _Cheers,
SOT


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## Spookilicious mama

*Hey I just watched the video!!! Now that was just the cutest sweetest little halloween video Ive ever seen Super Cute. You did a wonderful job. I cant wait to show it to my 5 year old nephew and 6 year old niece they will just love it*


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## hallorenescene

hahahaha, spooky mama, isn't it just the cutest? hahaha, the verdict thickens, and i may have influenced shadow, but mama's all in her own words. hahaha


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## Son-of-Thing

_ARRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGHHH…!!_

_By all the Foul Things that Nibble the Cloven Toes of Shnellgor the Malicious…! _ 

Not only a shamelessly unrestrained _" c--- " slanderation_, but in _pink_ yet! Oh, Spookilicious..., what have _I_ ever done to _you?_ Well -- _now your broom's on the radar, sister_, you may count on it...! Where's that wand... Ah -- !

_"Ixnay... ponuay... ethay... utecay...! Ontopray...! _

_Ha! That_ ought to do it. 'Hope you like _"escargot"_, Mama -- better have a few _gallons_ of _butter_ and the _big_ pan ready... And you'll have to _shell_ them yourself, when they arrive... _Heh-heh... _ Oh, and I made sure there would be _extra portions_ for the kids. Seconds, Thirds..., _Ninety-forths... _  

And thanks _very _much, Hallo. Nothing like pouring a little _"oil-of-gloat"_ into the open wound... _Oooooooo.... _

I'd be hot under the collar, but around here that's a given anyway... (and the cloaks have to stay on until "casual Friday", too... ) I think my _tail_ is developing a _nervous twitch..._

_Grrrrrrrrr..._


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## hallorenescene

ooohhh, and in pink, i missed that. well, you still have kprimm who really is down with you. hahaha
i see shadow has mentioned your little site here in the new members introduction a couple of times.


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## Son-of-Thing

Well at least all that _heckling_ has _died-down_... _Heh..._ Gotta admit, spending the extra few bucks on those _high-quality Voodoo Dolls_ really _does _make a difference, if it _real results_ one is looking for...  

_Ahem._ Now, back to the awful agenda at hand, um, _stem,_ that this thread is _supposed _to convey. To wit, those Troubled Spirits who would like to, may _sing along with The Pumpkin Song!_, lyrics to leer at here -- CRUMPKINS PUMPKINS - The Pumpkin Song! - Cosmic Associates -- a sinister little _Scroll_ to abrade one's eyeballs, whilst one submits to suffering a fearful earful... ! 

The Depths of Terror Knows No Bottom of Ensuing Doom...! _HAHAHAHA!_ Or, um, something like that... 

MSC/SOT


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## hallorenescene

okay, with the tune in the sideline, it's moved up a notch from cute to just to darn sweet. love singing along, i swear my uncarved pumpkin shrunk a knotch whilst i was belting out in song. what's up with that? looks over shoulder and waiting for all fiendish ghouls to be called off since ---- is no longer in play here.


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## Son-of-Thing

Well Hallo, I'll _try _to call off the latest "Emissaries of Doom" headed your way, but, um -- 

The Mole People get _terrible _cell reception _underground_..., 

And _the Bats_ are all _very _excited about helping you in your salon (they're reading all the hair-styling books they can find lately -- only problem is, they read _upside-down_, so I'm sure you can imagine the impending results)..., 

_Good news_, though -- The _Spiders _are finished webbing-up the scenery around here, and have all already hopped the next Greyhound out... (The _dog_, not the _bus_, so it still may take them a little time to reach you.) I'm sure they'll be there by Halloween eve... Isn't _that _"sweet"...? 

_Heh-heh..._


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## hallorenescene




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## shadowless

oh, isn't that just the SWEETEST thing. SOT aka sweet old thing...i love the lyrics. now everyone can sing along. Let's just not focus on the not-quite-so-sweet lyrics. It kinda reminds me of some of the morbid grim nursery rhymes that we sing to our little ones to lull them to sleep.


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## Son-of-Thing

_"...SWEET...OLD...THING...?!?" _
_
ARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHH...!! 
By The Uncountable Writhing Nasal Hairs of Hirsutia-the-Hirsute...!!_ 

Shadowless, you exasperating little elf, you _asked _for it! Now _I've_ got a little _"song"_ for _you...!_ -- 

YouTube - Joe Pesci with His Head On Fire

"Sweet", huh? _Oooooooooo..._ Sweet like _Cherries Jubilee...! _

Grrrrr.


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## hallorenescene

seems sot got more upset over the sweet word than the old word. go figure. well, let's see, i'm on the good list right now, maybe i should stay there. lol. nahhh, hhhmmmm, what mischief can i get into. be back later


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