# What Is Too Much To Ask Guests To Bring?



## Frankie's Girl (Aug 27, 2007)

We don't really ask anything. Costumes are encouraged, but we mostly just want our friends to show up and have a good time.

We keep our invite list to under 30 (with about 80% showing up) so we can buy everything we need - food, prizes, drinkables... 

We do provide a decent beer, but tell folks that if they want some other brand or hard stuff, to bring their own. 

We have a couple that are good friends and they were told that anything they wanted to bring - food, drink, party stuff - it's all welcome. The guy should open his own restaurant, and loves to cook, so I told him the first year we had a party that I would be honored with anything he cared to make. 

If I was you, I'd think over the folks on the guest list and see if there are any that LOVE to cook or bake... and ask them to bring a dish - that you'd be flattered to have something they made at your party - but don't ask ALL of the invitees to pony up... you'll not only end up with a ton of food that may be duplicated (20 bags of chips??), but some might see it as an imposition.

Put on the invites and spread by word of mouth that you'd love for folks interested to wear costumes (do you do a contest? The parties where there is a contest and prizes tend to have more in costume) and that you'll be doing a prize for the best carved pumpkin... (although to me having guests lug a large or ornate pumpkin seems like a pain too). 

Strictly my opinion, tho. You know your group of friends, so do what works for you.


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## MsMeeple (Aug 21, 2004)

When we first started having our parties, I wasn't working so finances were tight. 
One of our friends suggested having a donation box. We didn't really feel comfortable with that though. I did however feel comfortable telling our friends that we could use help with props, supplies, food etc. The offers started flooding in. Most of the women wanted to try their hands at creepy food and a few of hubby's male friends helped with setting up the tent and building some props etc. Now that finances aren't tight anymore and I'm working, they still continue to do it. They've gotten the bug too lol
Only problem with letting guests bring food and drink is that you have to set up as you go and they arrive. One year the guy who offered to bring soft drinks showed up late forcing hubby and another guest to have to run out to the store to get some at the start of the party  

MsM


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## Halloweenie1 (Sep 28, 2008)

Frankie's Girl said:


> We don't really ask anything. Costumes are encouraged, but we mostly just want our friends to show up and have a good time....We keep our invite list to under... folks on the guest list and see if there are any that LOVE to cook or bake... and ask them to bring a dish - that you'd be flattered to have something they made at your party - but don't ask ALL of the invitees to pony up...



I agree with Frankie's Girl. Good suggestions. I must admit, for me, it would seem strange to invite someone to my home as my guest, and expect them to supply the food, drinks, or decor.


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## Gothikren (Aug 17, 2008)

I try to have a party of some type every year. Often it's for kids when it is for adults they are required to bring their own alchol if they want any. I also have a friend come over and help me cook the night before usually and we have a lot of fun. It helps alot honestly. I usually don't require people to bring extra food, but I let people know that if they want to bring something they are more than welcome to. If you're doing pumpkin carving contests let them know you're having one and if they are interested in participating to bring one if they would like this way they don't feel obligated to.


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## Buzzard (Jun 23, 2009)

Thanks for the suggestions. We've always provided the food in the past so I think we will probably just continue to do so. I don't mind spending the money. It just crossed my mind that having guests each bring a dish might be a good way to make getting ready for the party easier on both my husband & myself. I'd rather foot the bill & provide everything so that guests can just worry about having a good time.


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## shawnodese (Aug 23, 2009)

*Bizzare food contest?*

I have an idea for you on that... we go to a party every year that gives a prize for the most bizarre food and for the best carved pumpkin ( a little ribbon usually is plenty for the prize)... The thing about the bizarre food is you just put some basic rules around it that it needs to be edible and that it will be part of the food for the night. The guests can all vote on the best food and its a nice way of getting supplimental food to the party. Its also lots of fun to see what folks come up with. OH... another rule the party has is no "Bodily function" food....like Kitty Litter cakes...LOL... although I think its fun to have those too.


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## spookyone (Aug 23, 2009)

when me and my sister have our halloween haunts we have our guest dressed up and (try) to bring a dish of their choice. just like pot luck. in the long run it helps out tons!! but every year when we plan it and make sure we stick with finger foods instead of a BIG meal.


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## NOWHINING (Jul 25, 2009)

my sister and I always tell our guest to wear a customes and bring one dish or soda to share. This also helps big time with our budgets.


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## NOWHINING (Jul 25, 2009)

you dont want them to bring a dish and a pumkin. that really get to be too much when it comes to the funding. You can only choose one. bring a dish or bring a carved pumkin... Budget, budget, budget.


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## Halloween Princess (Sep 23, 2008)

I don't ask guests to bring anything, but I think it's a control issue for me =) I like to have complete control of the menu & table layout. I also had someone last year ask what to bring. I asked them to bring the plastic cups and they were 3 hours late. We provide one or two themed beverages, and people usually bring their own beer. 

This year we are going to try a donation jar though, as I'm sure we'll be spending near $500 on food & drinks. Completely voluntary though.


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## Halloween_Mom (Jun 29, 2008)

*chocolates*

We ask the kids to bring a bag of chocolates to share. They consume massive amounts of chocolate candies, rather than just candy. To feed that many kids chocolate can get expensive. We have a huge turnout that do bring chocolate to share. We have also asked in the past for either chocolate to share or a 6 pack to share...

HTH


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## Spookilicious mama (Feb 27, 2008)

*I have to say one of the first parties we had asked people to bring a pumpkin for a pumpkin carving contest. This is what usually happens. I send out all my invites, and my closest friends (I like to refer to as my peeps) always ask me is there anything I can bring. They are usually eager and willing to bring something. So I dont mind asking my peeps to bring. Sometimes I give them all desserts, because they can make something really fun. I use to not ask but they know how much goes into a party and dont mind so now when they offer I say sure I would love it. Last year I gave them appetizers. They all made something halloween looking and it was great. It really helps out on the cost when everyone brings a little something and again like i said your closest peeps wont mind.*


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## kittyvibe (Oct 27, 2008)

this is kinda funny, and the comments on their forum could be a good indication of whether or not to ask, :3 

Giving Thanks That Isn’t My Family | Emails From Crazy People


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## GrahamWellington (Jul 1, 2009)

I don't think the arrangement that you've described is asking too much. Perfectly reasonable.


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## v_gan (Aug 19, 2009)

Asking that guests wear costumes isn't too much at all. After all, this _is_ a Halloween party! And if you're going to all the trouble to have the party and invite them, your guests should, at least out of courtesy, wear costumes to your party.

As for bringing anything else.. Just make sure the wording is nice. Something like "Feel free to bring a spooky snack" or, instead of Bring Your Own Beer, you could suggest to "Bring Your Own Pumpkin".


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## halloweenbarb (Jun 9, 2008)

I like what 
'Shawnodese' said. awesome ideas. and I always write on invitations "BYOB" bring your own boo's


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## Hazbabu (Sep 1, 2006)

We ask them to bring a dish and their own drinks. NEVER have we gotten a complaint. We give out great prizes and supplement the food and pass out about 300 jello shooters along with a couple of punches. 

The decision to allow them to bring a dish was a hard one, I am a control freak and wanted all my food to have a theme, But having them bring a dish freed me up to have so much more fun at the party. No more running back and forth to the kitchen making more food. 

I think most people are plenty happy to bring something when they see how much work goes into the parties we thow!


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## HeatherEve1234 (Sep 5, 2008)

I think a carved pumpkin is a lot of work - if you have a group of friends who already has the tradition that is amazing, but I know when I try to carve a pumpkin it's several HOURS of set up, work, and clean up...that's a lot to ask someone to decorate my house. I'm happy to do the food because that is half of my fun - finding yummy things that meet the theme. Plus I'm weird about eating pot luck, it just creeps me out. My only expectation is that people show up in costumes. Most people still bring or offer to bring something, this year if they do I'm going to ask them to bring a bottle for the bar - that stuff gets expensive, but it's easy for someone to stop and grab something on their way and they are usually more than glad to do a little something in exchange for all the work I do.


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## B Scary (Sep 8, 2007)

We host several different dinner parties throughout the year and typically would not ask anyone to bring a thing. However, our Halloween Party is a different story.

We provide a full top shelf bar with bartender and the spirits are flowing til dawn. _And do they flow!_ We ask our guests to come in costume and bring a "horrordevour" to share. Prizes are awarded for costumes and creepiest food concoction. Not everyone creates a bizarre dish to share so there are plently of appealing foods too. With the amount of money we spend on alcohol, prizes, games and decor -- we would never be able to provide the fabulous spread we have every year. No one has ever complained and always look forward to our party. Many of them spend several months researching new recipe ideas for our party and everyone starts discussing what costume they are wearing months before the party.


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## Chris in CT (Apr 27, 2009)

Buzzard, another thing you can say is "please bring a carved pumpkin and, if you like, a food dish." This is a polite way of saving please contribute, and people usually get the hint.  After all, they know you've invested money in props, and time and effort in planning the party and having it at your house - quite an ordeal, though a fun one!


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## Dragonomine (Sep 28, 2008)

Every adult party we've been to was costume optional, but many of us wore them just to show off. We also brought some sort of covered dish. we'd ask the host what we could bring.


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## Mizerella (Aug 6, 2009)

Only reason I don't like people to bring food is I am a bit of a control freak. My food is part of the display so I don't like having to find a bowl or having someones white crock pot with flowers on it in my kitchen.

Every year someone asks what they can bring, I always tell them Cookies! You can never have too many cookies.


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## kUITSUKU (Jul 5, 2009)

I'm telling my guests to bring part of an old costume (for those who don't dress up), a random item wrapped up (for an elephant raffle), and some type of food. I stressed that if they couldn't do part of any of that, there's no need to turn down the party. Just let me know in advance and I'll make preparations around that. 
That way if someone decides they can't wrap up something for the raffle, I'll run outside, pick up a pinecone and wrap that up in place of it so everyone ends up with a prize at the end of the party. Who wouldn't be excited to get a pinecone, I mean come on! 
Usually I end up with more than enough food though...I don't give my guests enough time to eat it all (activities!). Out of 30 people, at least one or two are willing to make a meal-sized food and that goes a long way.


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## Fangbanger (Sep 5, 2009)

I've found that an invitation to bring food often ends up with a lot of chips and salsa on the table! I will usually order some food from a local caterer and pick it up myself to keep costs down. Then we fill in the feast with cold items from Costco or Trader Joe's, or other easy-to-prepare items. That way we can keep some sort of thematic control over the feast!

We also hire a bartender and usually stock a full bar; but we needed to cut back this year so a friend has volunteered to tend bar and we're only offering a couple "signature drinks" in addition to wine/beer.

A good approach would be to buy and prepare food with a couple of close friends that will also help refresh the table and clear plates and napkins during the party. I know it can be odd to ask friends to do that but you may have one or two people you know who actually have more fun being "of help" than actually attending the party!

Remember, you don't have to go wild and crazy with exotic/expensive foods. You just need a few different well-prepared/presented offerings, served at the right temperature, and your food will be hit!


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## Fangbanger (Sep 5, 2009)

@Mizerella - I totally agree! No crockpots, flowers, or "cute-sy" Halloween dishes. Ugh...


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## dippedstix (Jul 2, 2009)

Mizerella said:


> Only reason I don't like people to bring food is I am a bit of a control freak. My food is part of the display so I don't like having to find a bowl or having someones white crock pot with flowers on it in my kitchen.
> 
> Every year someone asks what they can bring, I always tell them Cookies! You can never have too many cookies.



I hear you! LOL The food is a display. That's actually my favorite part to set up- the buffet and desert tables...


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## Magickbean (Dec 6, 2007)

Mizerella said:


> Only reason I don't like people to bring food is I am a bit of a control freak. My food is part of the display so I don't like having to find a bowl or having someones white crock pot with flowers on it in my kitchen.


I am exactly the same, and my friends are so willing, bless them - they love to cook and they see me stressing about it all and want to take on some of the food, but I just can't relinquish control. Especially as the one year I tried that, I ended up with dozens of bags of chocolate and sweets everywhere that no one ate, half eaten packets of crisps and pots of dip and about 3 tubs of misshaped muffins that no one would eat lol.

I normally just ask my guests to wear a costume and bring a JOL. Only 2 people have ever brought a JOL along, so I'm scrapping that this year and just making a couple myself. Costumes are mandatory but I give out prizes to try and incense people into making an effort, and this year due to money issues I'm asking people to bring along a bottle of alcohol. A lot of my guests have said they prefer to bring their own anyway as they all like different things... it would cost me a small fortune to try and accomodate everyone's tastes hehe


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## Cheebs (May 13, 2008)

Another control freak chiming in.

I never ask the guests to bring anything except themselves in costume partly due to my and my bf's control issues and we just want to entertain everyone. One year someone brought their own six pack but ended up drinking the beer we got and nobody touched the one he brought. Then last year two of my friends brought cupcakes, which were awesome and slightly creepy, but unfortunately I had to bring the leftovers to work. And I always end up with a lot of food laying around after our party due to the gross factor or people just don't want to really eat but more nibble. Of course knowing my luck I'll cut back this year and everybody will be wondering where all my wonderful dishes are. 

Honestly its such a crapshoot with parties, never knowing what mood your guests are going to be in that night, what they might think to bring. Even after 3 years of doing this, I'm still clueless as to how much people will eat or drink. 

I would say if there are a handful of guests that you trust to follow the creep factor that you want, then ask them to bring a dish or two, and like someone else said, have a pumpkin carving party a night or two before. Its good advice.


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## Muffy (Sep 25, 2006)

We're the same way at our place, always telling people to just bring themselves. We don't entertain any more like we use to so when we do have people over, its just fun to get to cook some of the things we use to make in the diner.

When we do have drinking things I usually tell folks to bring their own booze altho I don't encourage it cause when you leave my place no matter which way ya go ....its a drive....sure don't want anyone getting into an accident when they leave.


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## kUITSUKU (Jul 5, 2009)

After reading all these responses, I changed my event and only asked for volunteers for food. 30 people bringing chips and cookies...there will be no room! If I can get at least 5 people to bring something, along with the finger foods I'll provide, that should be enough. Glad I kept in check with this post!


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## Witchie Woman (Sep 25, 2008)

Last year just about all my guests asked what they could bring. I wasn't expecting it, but it worked out great. I supplied hot dogs, fixings, beer, soda and hot chocolate. I asked everyone who asked to bring a dessert. It was great, we did an outdoor movie after dinner and everyone picked at dessert during the movie. 

This year I will add an optional pumpkin contest and my kid wants a pinyata(sp?) in the worst way.


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## senorita (Sep 22, 2008)

We usually have between 25-50 guests at our parties and I ask everyone to bring some sort of appetizers or chips etc. But I always have some food as well, not everyone brings something but it always works out in the end! And we have a 'costumes mandatory' policy at all our halloween parties! I do all the decorations etc, have different games and prizes (best costume prize is $50! And movie tickets for the limbo contest!), and I usually have some type of shooters to give out to guests.


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## savagehaunter (Aug 22, 2009)

Buy pumpkins and food, thell friends to dress up and have fun. They don't have to feel obligated to bring stuff. But as Frankie's Girl stated if you know some one who likes to cook or bake you can specifically ask only those people that if they would like bring something but not to feel thay have to just to come.


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## EvilMel (Dec 6, 2007)

Here's the deal. When I was in graduate school no one had any money. So when we all got together we had to each bring a side dish, our own booze, and dress up. It worked out well because if someone couldn't/didn't bring food/drinks to the party there was always plenty left over from everyone else. I don't feel bad when I'm asked to bring food and drinks to a party. 

Pumpkins can be bought pretty cheap at Wal-Mart.


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