# Feeling a bit down about lack of guests this yr



## NOWHINING (Jul 25, 2009)

I think you are worrying too much. Have fun and let your hair down. Do you not play games?


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## Piggles (Sep 2, 2010)

yes we do - well I did last year as didnt have time the first year. Everyone really enjoyed themselves but as there were a fair few people, it was more of a buzz. Will see - there is still time as doing it on the 30th this year.


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## propmistress (Oct 22, 2009)

How many people did you invite?

How many people do you want to attend?

Is there anybody you overloooked?

Do you allow your guests to bring a friend?


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## Piggles (Sep 2, 2010)

propmistress said:


> How many people did you invite?
> _*29*_
> How many people do you want to attend?
> *at least 15*
> ...


*Mostly they are couples or plus one but I dont expect them to bring 2/3 extra guests as it's a small house.*

I know I am being silly but I just got a bit deflated and thought I would air my feelings on here as you all do the parties so must have experienced the same thing


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## HKitten (Sep 20, 2009)

I know the feeling, I've invited about 25 people through a facebook event but about 10 haven't bothered to reply - however I know some of them are coming as they've verbally said they will. It still drives me a bit crazy though, not being sure enough people will turn up.

Maybe you could casually mention to a couple of friends that if they want to bring someone extra they can!


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## Piggles (Sep 2, 2010)

Thanks HKitten, yes, I think I will see if any of them want to bring an extra friend or so. Prob we have is that alot of my hubby's mates all know each other and if you invite one person or couple, then the rest will be hacked off they werent invited. Yet I dont really like some of them as they are really 'clicky' and not v friendly so it's a problem. Hubby agrees btw - it's not just me, lol. There are some I wld love to come but hey ho! 

thanks for the replies guys


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## BrahmaBabe (Sep 21, 2010)

Well - we invited about 41 people from Facebook - of those, 24 have RSVPd....we sent paper invites out to the lame-o's who don't use facebook or who didn't reply...and our total is up to 33 now...I will be fine if only 20 show..but something inside me tells me there will be more...

We had a Halloween wedding last year and everyone loved it... I think that has helped us get RSVPs...plus we talk about Halloween and ask people what their costumes are all the time..we try to get people excited about it and even leak little secrets about how we're decorating. I think that if no one has been to your Halloween party before, the best way to get people to show is to talk it up a lot and be really excited about it..but you have to talk to everyone you invited on a weekly basis...we tailgate - so we literally talk to everyone we know about the party and everyone seems excited...at this point...I hope we don't get too many people!!!


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## Piggles (Sep 2, 2010)

Hi BrahmaBabe,

Wow, a Halloween Wedding would have been amazing! I had a venetian one - in Venice, in full 18thC costume etc but I would have loved a Halloween one as an alternative! hehe. Brilliant. 

To be honest, most of the ppl who are def coming are from last yr. Those from last yr who cant come - 1 is working night shifts (plus g/f wont come on her own), 2 moved away and the other 4 are my siblings - 2 cost they have just had a baby and live a way away and the other 2 as her hubby is doing some charity firewalking event so is away. They have always come down so it's a bit sad they cant make it but it's not their fault. 

I know we will still all have a good time - I think I'm mainly annoyed as I would have done a Gothic Dinner instead for so few numbers. But it's done now and I have my costume and already bought alot of props so cant change it, lol.

I will stop sulking now anyway as the sun has come out and it will mean less food & booze to buy I guess!


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## HexMe (Jul 23, 2009)

Piggles, I SO know where you're coming from! We've had some pretty successful Halloween parties in the past, but last year's was the first in 3 years and it was kinda sad. We made it a housewarming Halloween party (for our first home) and saw a huge decline in attendance because in the last 3 years just about all of our friends spawned and, I don't know, stopped caring about anything else, or going anywhere without their kids...I don't know really, I don't understand it. But, whatever. So I was really hurt/disappointed with the turn out last year.

THIS year I'm determined not to let stress and the fear of dismal party attendance ruin my favorite time of year and my favorite holiday, so I decided to scale it back. I decided we would have a Halloween dinner party instead. But then as I got into the planning of it, I realized I wasn't really scaling it back, I was just switching around my stress points. 

So the FINAL decision it to have a Halloween night reception (open house). We're sending out invitations just asking people to stop by and trick or treat, just visit, or stay for dinner. I'm making special treat bags for the kids. I'm going to full out decorate, prepare foods, have games ready and just enjoy my favorite holiday whether it's just my husband and I or us and a few friends. Maybe next year I'll feel up to planning a big party again.

I think the important thing is to make yourself happy, it's YOUR special holiday. You're not in control of anyone but yourself. But Brahma has a good idea too...talk it up, create your own buzz, people really do respond to that.


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## johnshenry (Sep 24, 2006)

I know what you mean. Here's something I posted in a thread called "The Human Element" in this forum:

_Having just posted in the planning thread, it got me thinking about something that might make for some interesting discussion. All food, props, SFX etc. aside, what about the human element of you parties? The people? What makes or breaks it?

Now I am not suggesting we list names of the fun people, who got too trashed (I did that one year), who doesn't get along etc. But what kinds of people make for a great H party and how do you reel them in?

As many know I have been doing parties for many, many years (18th this year). They started as social group from our church (no, we are not Southern Baptists). Back in the early 90s, we would host a dinner at someones house each month, and our turn was Oct, so how about a Halloween party? So it grew from there.

The church group was about 12-18 pretty fun people, but it started to fade a bit, so we gambled and started inviting neighborhood friends (the church monthly thing had pretty much dissolved anyway). For the most part it worked out as least as good, and grew a bit each year.

In '04 we moved 45 mins away to a much larger house that can host 60-90 people easily. Lots of big, open space. But we were in a new town, new church, etc. We had a party that year, real minimal effort, had about 16 people it was kind of fun.

In the years since, the parties have grown rapidly. We have made many new friends in those years.

But one year ('07) we had 40+ people and all I remember from that party is sitting around talking and people leaving before midnight. The '06 party was really good... but last year kicked ass. Why?

I have been asking myself a lot since last Oct. And I know it was the people. Many of the same, but some new ones as well, and a more even balance of church, town and work. In fact almost 1/3 each by count. That and for some reason, people came last year PUMPED for a good party. In the days before they were saying they couldn't wait for Sat, had worked on their costumes for a long time. In the tame part of our party (before the blackout) people were bugging me "come on, lets GO! Kick it off dude".

The last people left about 1:30 am_

Here's the hard thing to learn: The magnitude of your efforts really has no effect on how many people will come and how good the party will be. That is the reality. It took me 18 years to learn this. Sure, cool decorations, lighting, props, special effects, music, etc make the party fun, but the people make the party, period. I remember busting my ass to nearly collapsing and then thinking "Why don't people come?". Its got nothing to do with how hard you work at it.

I do believe that parties "snowball" year after year. Have a good one one year, and those same people will jump at the chance to come the next year if they can. Last year, I think we just got the "mix" right and for whatever reason, people just had a great attitude.

As for numbers, I remember one party the first years we in our new house we invited 80 and got 16. More recent years, we have invited 100-120 and usually get 40-50. This year we have invited about 140 (and dumped at least a dozen from the list who never show up). I am hopeful that the "buzz" from last year is still ringing....


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## Piggles (Sep 2, 2010)

Thanks Hexme & JohnsH for your kind words and insight. Indeed the people that I do have coming all join in, are as excited about my party as me, and are all the same ages and like to have fun so I know it will be good regardless. They still talk about my buffet I did last year as it was ala-Heston Bloomenthal (i.e. whole graveyard made out of food - posted pics somewhere!) and it was so grreat haviing appreciation for all the effort (excuse my spelling mistakes as my typing has suddenly gone so slow that I cant see any words as I type until about five mins later! lol). This yr it wont be as good food wise but hopefully the themed ddecorations will make up for it.

I do agree it is def the people that make the party so fingers crossed it goes down well.


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## krissibex (Sep 23, 2010)

Aww sorry .. well if there are going to be less people and you cant really have them all brings friends anyway cause the house cant hold it .. then take advantage and do a more inimate party schedule like playing Atmosphere all together or watching horror movies and having a sit down dinner

Those are things i'd love to do but I'm having too many guests to try to get them to play Atmosphere or something.


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## v_gan (Aug 19, 2009)

Smaller can definitely be better! Don't fret about it. The less people you have, the less work it will be to keep everyone entertained. It will be a more intimate party, and that can work to your advantage. Plus, if you've gone to so much trouble and everyone posts pictures online and talks about how amazing everything was, it'll make everyone else feel like they missed out on something awesome 

Everyone has years that they deem as"duds". Just make the best of it and don't let the guest count determine how much fun you'll have!


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## Hillrat6 (Oct 2, 2006)

johnshenry said:


> Here's the hard thing to learn: The magnitude of your efforts really has no effect on how many people will come and how good the party will be. That is the reality. It took me 18 years to learn this. Sure, cool decorations, lighting, props, special effects, music, etc make the party fun, but the people make the party, period. I remember busting my ass to nearly collapsing and then thinking "Why don't people come?". Its got nothing to do with how hard you work at it.
> 
> ....



Johnshenry, you hit the nail on the head! So true.

Piggles, I know it's discouraging to invest a lot of time, effort and money into something you truly enjoy and then feel like it wasn't fully appreciated. However, the people who are coming this year WILL have a wonderful time because they want to be there and celebrate with you. You may find that this smaller celebration is more fun because it is more intimate, and you can always plan a dinner party next year.

Good luck and have fun!


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## Maxiboots (Aug 31, 2010)

Piggles, I hope all goes well with your party this year. I agree with members above who stated that really, if your good friends are there with you and enjoy the party, it won't matter if there is only 7 of you. I'm sure they will appreciate that you went all out. Maybe you can still do a sit down dinner with them as well. 
I am having some stress this year as well. I have been wanting to invite some neighbors for an open house to get to know people in the 'hood, but don't really know who or how many will come. After many ideas -picnic, Labor day party - I decided to ask them to come over on Halloween. I'm having my party on the 30th for a core group of friends who will come even though it means driving 45 min to over an hour (I moved to the burbs!) I figured, since the house will be ready for a party anyway, I'll just have the neighborhood open house after trick or treating. Hope someone shows up!


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## rebeccaowen (Oct 8, 2010)

perhaps the previous parties were not fun (from your guests perspective). 

Believe it or not, I've been to a few Halloween parties that were dull.


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## Howlatthemoon (Jun 25, 2008)

You can still have fun with a small group. I wouldn't sweat it !


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## ElevenXFrost (Sep 20, 2010)

we've been doing a party for a few years now, and we've had ABOUT 30 each time..and thats usually including kids and that. Sometimes less is more, less food cost, more interacting with others, and not as warm from body heat!...lol, I'm sure your party will be great no matter how many people show up.


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## bettyboop (Jul 24, 2010)

Do a party that works only for a small group. Like a "Murder Mystery". So that the small number makes a statement and was planned. Your invitees will feel very spectial.


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## dixiemama (Sep 28, 2010)

*Party Guests*

I'm sorry to hear your turn out might be low this year. This is our first year throwing an actual party. We have done public haunted houses in the past in our home and other places and always do huge decor for the trick or treaters. But we were unsure of throwing an actual party, if people would come. We invited 48 ppl (we think, we lost count) and invited each of them to bring a friend. So far we have had 25 confirmations and are still 2 weeks out! Since it is a costume required party (can't get in without one) most people that have confirmed and purchased costumes are more likely to show up I think. So it should be a fairly solid number. Don't forget anyone you or your family knows from work, neighbors, church, etc. on your invitation list. Even if you are just associates with them this year and they don't come, being invited to a party opens up opportunities for friendships and future party goers at your next event! I am sure your party will still be great! Have Fun!


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## DarkMaiden (Oct 6, 2009)

I feel exactly the same way! We always invite 20-50 people and usually get around 10-12 people who actually come. But I post the facebook invite and get sooo many maybes! I wish they had the option to say "Probably Attending" or "Probably not attending" instead of the very vague "Maybe"... This year we invited 60 on FB, so far we have 35 not responded, 11 No, 3 Yes, and 18 Maybe!! Grrr... 

I always try to pick a date that works with my closest friends' schedules, but it never works for everyone at once... This year some of our close friends have new babies, surgery, and other stuff going on  Everyone says to just make myself happy and do it for myself, if people come then fine... but, we all know that a party is more fun when lots of people come and everyone is having a good time


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## ezdoesit-tn (Oct 26, 2009)

*Halloween Party*

I do know how you feel, with all of the work, prep, etc. It really comes down to who will be there. In the past we sent out so many invites, then you get maybe, no.. then yes, sure (an never show). Agggrrrr!!! From previous parties we usually get approx 15-20 that come and have a good time, costumes optional (got some people who are fun to be around, they just won't dress up). I always extend the offer for them to bring their kids... what makes Halloween fun! We have food, deserts, group games and scary movies in the home theatre! We also have a gameroom full of arcade machines and pinballs that keep people (mostly kids) occupied while the adults get to play and have fun! We have invited 25 people this year, and have confirmations from 23 of them...


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## Shadowbat (Sep 27, 2009)

Remember, it's the quality of the guests, not the quantity.


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## lorddamax (Sep 9, 2010)

We run a meetup group (meetup.com - check it out) and posted our halloween party on the meetup calendar.

We have 64 couples in the group.

We have 3 couples coming so far. Plus my sister & hubby.

Its kinda depressing.

But - the party will go on dammit!


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## Piggles (Sep 2, 2010)

Hey all, thanks so much for your replies! I have been away for a few days visiting the new nephew in the family so didn't want you to think I was being rude by not replying!


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## Piggles (Sep 2, 2010)

rebeccaowen said:


> perhaps the previous parties were not fun (from your guests perspective).
> 
> Believe it or not, I've been to a few Halloween parties that were dull.


Lol! I know last year's wasn't as most are coming back. The ones who cant come (mostly family who love my parties) are due to serious reasons (thankfully!). One lot are going on holiday, two lots are working - and that's why I am down about 7 people.

Thanks to everyone else who commented.
It does suck when you invite a large number and get no committment. I have also had a few 'will say no but let you know if anything changes'. So they might decide last minute to come but that's more of a pain than 'not coming' really! lol.

We have 9 definates so far and just waiting 2 more confirmations. Then i might ask if a few of them want to invite another person or so just to bump it up. I think for me, a nice number is at least 14 - then I will be very happy!

Don't get me wrong, I like having a smaller intimate party but the theme which I already planned and bought shed loads of stuff for, warrants more people and I dont have the time or money to re-organise a smaller dinner party now you see.

Anyway folks,

thanks for all your input and I do feel better knowing it's not just my parties that people don't commit to. It's not New Year and not too far in the future that people can't offer some committement so sod them I say if they dont want to come and enjoy it!


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## just_Tim (Sep 3, 2009)

Im right there with ya buddy im only having 8 people at my party this year,this will be the first year im having a halloween party and it will be halloween night. I see some of the posts where people are having like 100 guests im like WOW i dont even know that many people ahahahah.So yeah Im sure you will have a great party with just 7 people.If they are halloween lovers then for sure you will.I know my party with my 8 guests will be great,because they all like halloween


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