# Sigh... I think I'm done with parties



## yummum29 (Oct 22, 2008)

Our party is tonight. Most people (of course) did not confirm so I just counted them out. Now, over 10 people that were confirmed have texted me today and cancelled. Some were no fault of their own, sick kids, etc.. I don't know if people are just "over" Halloween, or our party, or what. I do know that hosting, as you all know is exhausting. We love it but it is so much work for so few. I think I will host a sit down dinner party next year , with the handful of people that actually appreciate it. Sorry, I am so bitter - just really bummed.


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## matrixmom (Oct 29, 2010)

I know how you feel. It happens to all of us I think at one point or another.


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## pumpkinpie (Jul 9, 2011)

I know how you feel, sometimes I think people truly overlook how stressful and exhausting being a good hostess can be. It still amazes me every year that after months and months of my continual devotion to prop making and party planning that they cannot even muster a simple RSVP. I think your dinner party sounds wonderful  Don't let them dampen your Halloween spirits...I hope you have a great turnout tonight and I hope you have a blast in spite of it all


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## MsMeeple (Aug 21, 2004)

A sit down dinner party might be a nice change of pace


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## Ghouliet (Nov 5, 2010)

I invite my neighbors and friends to stop by for our Devil's Night Party. I do not expect RSVPS. I make a large main course, side dishes and deserts and I have never run out of food, but if I did I would go get Little Cesar's pizza and Donuts.


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## toyjunkie (Oct 18, 2008)

You might consider taking next year off. Sometimes we all need a break so we can recharge. Find a party to go to and be a guest for a change.


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## tgoodman (Sep 25, 2009)

I know exactly how you feel. We had a great party last night, but unlike Ghouliet, I DO expect RSVP's and when people can't even muster THAT, they don't get put back on the invite list. I would KILL to be invited TO a Halloween party (haven't been a GUEST at one in almost 20 years) and for people not to even appreciate the fact that someone thinks enough of them to invite them to a party... well... it's rude and I don't do rude. We had several not show up after RSVP'ing. We were expecting 50 people and had 36. Not a turnout to sneeze at, for sure, but a lot of those people didn't show up till 9 PM and the party started at 7:30pm. It always makes the first people to arrive on time feel a little awkward if they're the only ones there for a lengthy amount of time and I was getting nervous!

This was our 5th party and I think I'll take next year off. As you said, hosting is EXHAUSTING... and people who have never had a large party don't have a CLUE how much work goes into it, from decorating, to food, to games, prizes and just running around making sure everyone is COMFORTABLE and having a good time. I need a recharge and maybe need to try something different. We don't change our party every year... and I don't really plan to, as far as decorations; I'm done spending money on Halloween decor. But, I think our Tempt Your Fate needs a breath of fresh air, or some different games altogether. I didn't think TYF would EVER get old, but it's hard coming up with new "bad" fates and reusing the old ones, to me, is boring, especially when we have so many repeat guests who come every year -- they've seen them all before and many have DONE them before.

Who knows how I'll feel next year, but at this point, the day after our party, I'm feeling like I need a break.


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## yummum29 (Oct 22, 2008)

It's nice to hear other people's comments, when you know they are dealing with the same kind of stuff.. I really appreciate hearing from all of you so much. Makes me feel validated. Our party was good. Wasn't big, but the people that love our party were there. I think we will do another. We will be only inviting those that love it and appreciate it , though. If I know it's going to be smaller, I can work with that - maybe make it more intimate, do bigger gifts if spending less on other stuff, etc. Like you all said, I will just adjust next time. I was amazed at the thoughtfulness of the people that did attend. Most bought us gifts, one couple had an awesome arrangement sent from a flower store that was a scene from a graveyard, complete with moss, a hanging skeleton , tombstones with our names on it, cobwebs, etc. It was amazing! People were talking about how they started planning last year for this year. I am not so much upset that no one else has the parties; I know that some people are just good hosts and some are just great guests. Next year, I am only inviting the great guests - BUT I need YOU GUYS to remind me of that, lol!! Hugs!


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## jenscats5 (Oct 16, 2010)

I like the idea of a small sit down dinner.....you could really take that places.


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## tgoodman (Sep 25, 2009)

yummum29, just think of it this way, you're making some GREAT memories for yourself and the guests who appreciate what you do. I was actually thinking about knocking down our invite list if we do the party next year and only inviting the people who really appreciate it but asking them to bring 1 or 2 additional couples who THEY think would appreciate the party. It would allow us to meet new people and inject the party with some new faces. After reviewing the photos from last night this morning, it gave me a new sense of just how much fun people had at the party and I'm a little more encouraged about having another one next year. Sometimes, when you're hosting, there's so much you're thinking about that you don't realize just how GOOD a time it really is. Check out your photos if you're feeling blue about your party... it just might help!


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## matrixmom (Oct 29, 2010)

The problem with RSVP'ing is that some of the guests have been invited to other parties or are deciding and holding out for a better party. Well, as far as I am concerned, I wish they would tell me that (no hurt feelings here) and I would make their choice very easy! (go to others instead!) That way I can buy way less food, less decor, and have more fun MYSELF at my own party! The ones I really want to come always do, and others well are those "i have to invite" guests.


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## dbruner (Aug 23, 2012)

we've all been there yummum29. I was there last weekend. I had about 30 of the 42 I was expecting and a lot of people that didn't rsvp one way or another even though I sent my invitations out the first week of September. Even if someone doesn't like Halloween I don't get why they wouldn't want to come to a party where they can see their friends and eat and drink for free, and possibly make new friends. Like the rest of you, I have no problem with a "no" rsvp, I just want to know one way or the other so I can prepare accordingly. I put a lot of time and effort into planning and decorating, just like you all do, and you would think adults would get this. I've thought about doing something smaller/different next year, but the people who come every year in costume love the party and would be disappointed.


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## yummum29 (Oct 22, 2008)

thanks, tgoodman! I know they had fun, so did we.. But your idea of having them bring guests is a really good idea! New blood...!


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## goingoverboard (Oct 3, 2012)

We had my son's 5th Birthday/Halloween party yesterday evening and only 3 families showed up and only 1 family had their kids in costume. We put alot of effort into that party and it's extremely frustrating when it seems it's all for nothing!


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## 1LuvHalloween (Oct 27, 2004)

That is exactly how I felt last year... low turnout, too much money spent, and just exhausted. I made a comment a couple months ago about not having our annual party this year (this will be our 11th year) and I was told there was no way I could NOT have it. So I decided to buck up and have the party, it was by far our BEST party to date. Huge turn out, great participation in games and just a bunch of fun. I'm really glad I gave it another shot. Maybe by next year you fell better about the whole thing, sometimes you just have a off year.....


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## drmort (Sep 30, 2004)

I think a lot of people do not come if you make them wear costumes so now i just ask for a halloween themed t-shirt or black/orange top. Also, people sometimes feel obligated to reciprocate a dinner/party once they attend your bash so they do not accept an invitation as they can not cook.


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## The Red Hallows (Sep 21, 2009)

Murder mystery dinner... you'd be surprised how much fun, if not more fun, this can be in lieu of a big party. Just saying.


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## Nepboard (Sep 21, 2009)

Here is my take on party hosting. I am fortunante to have a huge kitchen and finished basement with shuffleboard, etc. My wife and I have about 6 core couples that we really enjoy being around. As long as they show (always do and have a great time) I really could care less on the others that are invited. If they come great, if they don't great. It doesn't dampen the night or vibe, Everyone always helps with a quick pick up of the party areas and a great time is had by all. I would much rather have 15-20 people at my house that I want to be around than 50 that I wish would leave.


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## dane82 (Sep 24, 2012)

i think it comes and goes. last year's party was a bust, most people we invited were out of town or unavailable for some reason, this year it lined up where most of the people we invited were able to make it. i'm sure there is some point where most people don't "do" halloween anymore, but i can remember going to a family friend's halloween party when i was around 10 or so, which would have put dad well into his 40s, and mom and dad weren't just nuts for halloween. don't give up yet.


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## pumpkinpie (Jul 9, 2011)

What's funny is when guests show the no shows all the pics of the fun they missed. We were actually fortunate this year due to weather we only had about 80 people (I know!!!! We expected 50-100 because no one confirmed) but the year before we had 25 (mostly neighbors)...this year we did a carnival theme and it was a lot of fun and work (pics in album). I have already started working on next years Hogwarts Halloween/Deathly Hallows Dinner...we have already decided to take it easy next year, I'll still do my themed over the top decor (cause I love surprising all our guests with a magical night) however I do think I will eliminate the children next year. 
We usually have an age limit of 10, however this year I got stuck babysitting 4 kids for someone who RSVPed, dropped her kids off and left to go to a haunted house (talk about rude...kids and mother). So next year adults only!!!!!


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## Nepboard (Sep 21, 2009)

ALWAYS adults only!!


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## dane82 (Sep 24, 2012)

pumpkinpie said:


> I do think I will eliminate the children next year.


that sounds intense!


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## B Scary (Sep 8, 2007)

It's frustrating when you put all your hard work into creating an incredible party for all your friends and they don't show or don't even bother to RSVP. Our turn out for our adult party was smaller than expected. We had 30 of our expected 60 so only half showed. I was a bit annoyed the next day when I got a few calls saying they just didn't have the energy to put together a costume (apparently not to call and let me know they weren't coming after all either) I had a hard time not telling my dear friends who know how much work I put into getting everything ready "Really you didn't have any energy to throw on a wig and some makeup?" UGH! But those who came had an amazing time. We have one more party next weekend for my teenage daughter -- my biggest worry will be how to keep 60 highschoolers in line I'm sure I'll be wishing she had the same problem with no shows as I did but that unfortunately is unlikely.


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## yummum29 (Oct 22, 2008)

see, I knew I was talking to the right people! Sounds like most people have experienced this. Lesson learned for me. I will continue to host but only invite those that I know appreciate and enjoy (and show up!) And I will ease up on myself! I know I took it personally so I will try not to do that anymore. I did find that I enjoyed the evening more . I wasn't so busy that I couldn't visit . Smaller isn't necessarily "smaller"


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