# How rude were your TOT'rs?



## Murphysfog (Oct 14, 2014)

Over the years I have noticed that more kids are not respecting the tradition of saying "Trick or Treat".

Is anyone seeing the same trend on the Forum?

I had a few kids this year actually just say "Gimme some candy." 
In order to get the treats I've always asked kids to say those magic words.
One brat actually said "Are you gunna give me some candy, or what?" 

Funny thing tho...with the exception of the brat, most all the other kids said "Thank you." Huh.


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## BIGANT (Jul 11, 2011)

we had a couple of rude ones this year which was never the case in the past. Maybe Im just getting old haha


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## Madame Leota (Sep 19, 2005)

Not at all. Never had a problem with rudeness, this year or in the past. Then again, I don't make anyone say anything. If they say trick or treat, fine. If they just hold out their bag, fine. We all know what they are there for.


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## Robin Graves (Aug 12, 2011)

We had kids not even in costume, come to our place. So instead of giving them candy , we put rocks in those little pastic things you get out of gumball machines and gave those to the kids and adults not in costume. yeah adults.. TRICK OR TREAT they got tricked LOL....


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## zombieprincess (Nov 1, 2013)

We have some that just put their bags out. Although I think some of ours is more they are too scared to say it. So maybe 50/50. Most of them say thank you at least. Had to remind my own kids that the basics of ToT is to say Trick or Treat and Thank you.


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## pyrosaxplayer (Sep 12, 2012)

Robin Graves said:


> We had kids not even in costume, come to our place. So instead of giving them candy , we put rocks in those little pastic things you get out of gumball machines and gave those to the kids and adults not in costume. yeah adults.. TRICK OR TREAT they got tricked LOL....


Haha! if I weren't to busy scaring ToTs. I would do the same!


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## Ghost of Spookie (Sep 28, 2008)

Rude? Not at all. No complaints, quite a pleasant well behaved group. Bag count indicated just under 100.


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## Oak Lane Cemetery (Sep 5, 2011)

Robin Graves said:


> We had kids not even in costume, come to our place. So instead of giving them candy , we put rocks in those little pastic things you get out of gumball machines and gave those to the kids and adults not in costume. yeah adults.. TRICK OR TREAT they got tricked LOL....


Looking to get your house egged? Cause that's how you get your house egged. lol I just give them cheap crappy candy.


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## chaoscat (Nov 3, 2005)

My problem is not so much rudeness, as it is with kids running through the front yard haunt, messing up the timing so the they miss the scares. It's frustrating to work so hard choreographing the action, building props, setting up the timers only to have kids looking back over their shoulder going, "What was that?" I don't know if it's because their so focused on getting the candy, or if their scared and racing through to avoid the scary things.


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## StanFam3 (Oct 5, 2009)

We had more polite than rude ones. We had a few that were really rude and out of control. My husband was dressed as a tall grim reaper, and we had some kids shove him, etc.


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## Glass 'eye' (Jul 22, 2007)

When the night was through, my boys told me some of the TOTers were a little more aggressive this year...One adult even slapped my 11 year old (he laughed it off and assumed it was because he really scared her...which he probably did he is a great actor) I was very frustrated to hear the stories of pushing and shoving of my actors...I guess I will have to make a sign and babysit next year. Kind of frustrating, but we live and learn.


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## Skeletoncrew (Oct 10, 2013)

Nightfisher said:


> Looking to get your house egged? Cause that's how you get your house egged. lol I just give them cheap crappy candy.


Ditto. Prime candy is for kids 15 - 16 or so and under,costumes, good behavior ..They get full sized bars. Rude kids, get the less prime stuff as do adults. 

We had a few mannerless kids, but nothing terrible. Most were pretty respectful and polite.


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## SmartisSexy (Oct 14, 2009)

I haven't ever really had a problem with rude ones. The ones who don't say ToT are usually little ones who are too scared to say it. I do have the problem with kids lurking in my yard messing stuff up though, that annoys the crap out of me.


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## Scatterbrains (Nov 16, 2008)

I wasn't near the candy bowl, so I don't know if there was any rudeness....I didn't hear about it.

I don't have a problem with people messing with my stuff. A couple went where they weren't supposed to and when I said something they quickly did what I asked. I wouldn't say they were rude or malicious, they just weren't paying attention. I have a cemetery fence built around most of my haunt and line the path I want the haunters to take with orange rope lights, and pretty much everybody gets the hint and follows the path, so no problems.

The only thing that bugs me is that crowd that hangs out at the bottom of the driveway planning what they're going to do next...move along people


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## Enjoralas (Nov 4, 2011)

Gave out full sized bars for the first time this year, and had them in a big bowl so the kiddies could see what I had and pick their favorite. I was disheartened by the number of kids that tried to grab more than one. It was a relatively small number in the grand scheme of things, maybe 6-10 kids (that I saw at least) but c'mon, full size bars and one is not enough? They ruined it for everyone, because next year we will be back to snack size and will be distrubuting instead of allowing choice. 

I don't know the number of TOTers we had, but we went though 180 full size candies, 110 pudding snack packs and 150 pieces of snack sized candy.


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## Nightlites13 (Oct 8, 2008)

Had some a little rude but the majority were great. Even if they didn't say ToT they all said thank you that I saw. We have had some problems in past years with older teenagers coming late and crowding my wife and taking way too much candy. Made her feel uncomfortable because they just kind of backed her in the corner. So this year I was on the lookout for these late comers and had told her I would handle it. I simply made a big point to say hello and be friendly and of course gave them a little bit of a hard time. When we got near the candy they all just stood there. Didn't hold out bags, didn't say anything, just stood so I waited and eventually said so what's up guys and finally one sheepishly said ToT. They all laughed and we walked around. When they left they said it was amazing. All in all a great year and numbers doubled last year.


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## The Mask Doctor (Oct 14, 2014)

> One brat actually said "Are you gunna give me some candy, or what?"


Guy in house says "WHAT?" slams door!


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## Pbeck (Sep 26, 2014)

I still take my kids out to ToT but I had to remind them to say it. They always said thank you and happy Halloween but seemed to forget the "Tot" part. After a few houses they got into it. My son who was a zombie ( 8 years old) started walking up and saying "trick or brains" in his best zombie voice. LOL. 

When they get older I hope to start doing a big yard display, for now its costumes and makeup until they say they don't want Mom and Dad to go ToTing with them.


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## mesta831 (Sep 26, 2013)

I do think some of the kids are becoming more rude, especially, from 10 up. I always get smart-*** remarks about my costume (Pirate). Also, a lot (not majority) don't even say trick or treat. I have asked them to say and they usually do. Sometimes we are so, busy, we are just putting the candy in their bags. I like reading this forum because it makes me not feel alone about some of the same issues I feel.


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## Forhekset (Oct 23, 2014)

Robin Graves said:


> We had kids not even in costume, come to our place. So instead of giving them candy , we put rocks in those little pastic things you get out of gumball machines and gave those to the kids and adults not in costume. yeah adults.. TRICK OR TREAT they got tricked LOL....


That's an awesome idea. I'd do that if I didn't think the bastards would remember me and come back later and vandalize my house.

I never really get any "rude" trick or treaters per se, but I do get at least a dozen or so kids every year who just sorta stand there with their bags open without even saying "trick or treat" or at least "Happy Halloween". Usually it's the kids who are a little too old to be trick or treating, but they still want the candy so they do it anyway. Sometimes the kids who don't say trick or treat are busy laughing or talking about my decorations, and I usually get at least a few kids who are polite enough to compliment the decorations, so they get a pass. Last year I did get a couple of smartass kids who felt like they needed to tell me that my scarecrow "wasn't real" (duh) and asked if my Hallowindow display was "just a video". I played stupid and acted like I didn't know what they were talking about.

I do make a point to pull the candy bowl away from the greedy kids who want to stuff their hand in there and take their own candy. That doesn't happen too often, but when it does I just snatch the bowl back and say "Hang on, back up and I'll pass out the candy". 

As for the kids who don't even bother dressing up (that's also usually the older kids who probably shouldn't be trick or treating), I just give them crap about their lack of costume, or tell them "sorry, no costume, no candy" then give them candy anyhow.


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## Osie (Nov 3, 2014)

I had one kid actually attack one of my skeletons after getting his candy. Knocked both legs right off it. Okay, he was young, maybe got scared and didn't know any better but his Dad stood right there and watched the whole thing. Dad did nothing about it, didn't try to stop him and didn't even apologize as I picked up the pieces! Just the one bad egg though. Everyone else was very polite and appreciative of the effort we put in.


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## Hilda (Jul 31, 2011)

For the most part all were very nice. Although I did notice MANY do not say Trick or Treat anymore. They just put out their bags/buckets/pillow cases. Which is fine with me as long as you can tell by expression or body language that they are not being pushy. The pushy ones, I gently prompted a Trick or Treat out of them. More often they said Happy Halloween! Seems to be the trend now. There were two or three that did complain about what we gave. As in 'I don't like such and such' or 'Cheezits?!?!' (We ran out of full-size bars early.) hahaha I just smile... It's all good.


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## blowmoldcrazy (Jul 22, 2013)

One of the trick or treaters that came to my house saw something he liked in the bowl and just stuck his hand in!!! He was older and he said "ooh, a kit kat!!" and reached right into the bowl. I really didn't have any kids who didn't say Trick or treat, but the ones that didn't said thank you instead...


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## HalloScream (Jul 31, 2011)

Most of mine said trick or treat. I had either handed them candy or let them pick it out. One girl had reached in my candy bowl and grabbed a hand full. I told her only 1 piece and she put the rest back.


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## kakugori (Aug 26, 2013)

Rarely am I on candy duty, but I did a bit this year. First 3 kids I got didn't say trick or treat, so I withheld candy until they got the idea. Gotta follow tradition!

Didn't have any problems at the ol' home haunt, but the mortuary was a different story...


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## Deadview (Aug 9, 2011)

Entitlement.....that is what we say from kids this year. Some not even dressing up, they would come up the driveway, not even carrying a bag for candy, not saying trick or treat, the wife, would say 'Good Bye'. One young boy walked up with friends, his nose buried in his phone, stuck his hand out expecting something got nothing.


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## Candee (Oct 24, 2010)

We had a some of the younger kids say Happy Halloween rather than trick r treat. Almost all of them came directly from the other neighbors house who decorate for Halloween. I'm thinking because they wished them a Happy Halloween is why. All the kids were polite though.


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## NotTheBatesMotel (Sep 28, 2013)

Madame Leota said:


> Not at all. Never had a problem with rudeness, this year or in the past. Then again, I don't make anyone say anything. If they say trick or treat, fine. If they just hold out their bag, fine. We all know what they are there for.


This. If the kid makes the effort of walking up my long driveway and steps and rings the doorbell with their candy bag, that's good enough for me.


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## Nevar (Oct 28, 2009)

I usually have no problem with our Halloween guests. I have been doing our haunt / walk thru for many years. And over the years the locals have learned not to screw around in the "Witch Queens Graveyard "
For the most part the TOTS to TEENS are very respectful


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## halloween71 (Apr 22, 2007)

my toters were so cute and sweet.They just smile.


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## Lady Dy (Oct 2, 2013)

We had 119 ToTer's inside our carport "science lab" and since I was the designated candy hander outer, I got to see and interact with each one. We started at 5:30 and ended at 9:00. I didn't hear even a single Trick or Treat. We had very few teens and the only adults were escorting little ones. I only recall 2 or 3 children that were not in costume and based on their appearance and odor, I'm guessing the lack of costume was not by choice. I had 1 kid with a pillow case but 20 or so with backpacks that they were wearing backwards like kangaroo pouches. This was my first year seeing that. I don't think that the kids we had were rude, but they certainly weren't pleasant either.
This town always trick or treating on whatever day Halloween falls on but my childhood hometown does it on the weekend. Last year we handed out candy here on Halloween (I think we had maybe 35-40 kids) and then went to my hometown the next day (another 30 or so). Here, the manners were about the same as this year, but, at my hometown, not a single child of speaking age failed to not only say Trick or Treat, but they also said thank you, AND, they only took 1 bag of goodies without prompting. What's the difference between the 2 towns???? This town has 18,000 people and my hometown which is only 30 miles away, has 406.


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## GobbyGruesome (Sep 14, 2005)

We had a couple greedy kids who took extra treats (my wife likes to let them pick) but even they were verbally very polite and complimentary. A good bunch of kids this year.

My wife handles the door most of the time. If it were me I'd insist on heart the "Trick or Treat" but my wife always meets them half-way. When I was a kid I was always kinda bummed when I didn't get to say it.


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## baykay1984 (Sep 9, 2012)

We had teenaged tot who came in, got candy, then proceeded to put three large dents in our front fence on their way past... Hubby was not impressed, I think they were drunk. I was disgusted.


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## Hallow's Eve (Oct 10, 2012)

With the storm moving in fast, we started taking things down around the TOTers around 8pm. My husband said he was up on a ladder getting a huge prop out of a tree when a truck pulled up asking if we had enough candy for two. My husband stated, yes we were still handing out candy. My sister was still sitting there at candy basket. The man just sat in the truck, waiting for my husband to get off the ladder and I guess deliver it to the truck. He then was ignored.


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## DavyKnoles (Dec 5, 2009)

Gee, we must have gotten lucky. We had hundreds of ToTers of all ages. I heard tons of comments like "Great haunt!" "I wanna do it again!" "It's worth going through 'cause they've got the good stuff" "You guys have managed to scare the whole street" and "I like being scared on Halloween." Mostly, though, we did hear "thank you." We heard that a lot. We heard it from the kids. We heard it from the teens (there was also a lot of fist bumping from them) We really heard it from the adults. It was an amazing night.


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## Pumpkin Eater (Sep 23, 2011)

I had a few smart a** that said "Merry Christmas" or "Happy Thanksgiving" but the majority was good


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## Berserker (Sep 4, 2012)

I turned two kids away b/c they did not have costumes on. I broke character and said "Wherea re your costumes?", they replied "uuuuuuuuugh, we dont have any" I retorted "no costumes, no candy, go" then pointed to the street.


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## cinemafreak (Nov 11, 2012)

The kidlets and I hit up a local Trick or Treat Trail. I had to hold my inner rage back when 5 kids 13-15 year olds blew past us sans costumes. My 11 year old daughter did me proud by yelling, "That's the worst One Direction Costumes I've seen!"


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## hauntedgraveyard (Sep 8, 2008)

I MAKE the kids say "Trick or Treat" or they don't get any chocolate! I want to hear them yell!! Simple as that! Most kids will yell, the shy ones may not. I think everyone said thank you (then again we are Canadian) lots wished me Happy Halloween. Just about everyone told me they loved coming to our house every year. 

I just had the one smarta** say Merry Christmas, so I wished him Happy Chanuka and gave him a small chocolate 

The best? Two lads dressed I think like ZZ Top with long beards and light up fedoras. They bowed and doffed their hats in unison. They both got the largest chocolate bars (Mr. Bigs) and were thrilled. I loved their "choreography.

Over all everyone was great!


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## HexMe (Jul 23, 2009)

I didn't notice any rudeness, but then again I don't put any conditions on candy giving. I'll give candy to the un-costumed, the silent, the adults, I don't care. I mentioned in another thread that over half of my TOT's didn't even wear costumes, and a handful didn't bother with saying "trick or treat", many were teenagers, but ALL of them either said "thank you" or wished me a "happy Halloween" in return. There's all kinds of reasons kids don't dress up, that's not my business, and there's all kinds of reasons they may not say the phrase, but I'm so happy they come by and help me celebrate my favorite holiday, I'm so glad they're out there doing their thing, and I'm happy to contribute to their Halloween memories in my small way. So many of them gushed over our decorations and that goes further with me than anything else. However I don't know how I'd react to out-and-out rudeness like, "Gimmie candy". And it's strange that I didn't encounter anything like that because a few blocks away it's a little sketchy.


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## Countess No (Sep 20, 2014)

Berserker said:


> I turned two kids away b/c they did not have costumes on. I broke character and said "Wherea re your costumes?", they replied "uuuuuuuuugh, we dont have any" I retorted "no costumes, no candy, go" then pointed to the street.


What if their parents didn't have enough money to buy them costumes? 

What if their parents don't like halloween, and the kids go ToTing on their own just to try to have fun?

I have given kids costumes before, for free. I saw a post on this board that a member bought a child a costume in a Family Dollar or Dollar Tree, and it was a great post.

If kids are rude, I can see being a little irritated at their rudeness. 

I wouldn't turn kids away on halloween night. Halloween is about fun and giving, and the more fun we have, the more kids will love halloween and keep halloween traditions going.

We had alot of non costumed kids using backpacks, and kids who are old enough to drive cars. We got adults. We gave them candy.


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## StihlBilly (Oct 28, 2014)

We took my daughter out (she's 3) for her first real TOT where we did a lot of houses. Her and my wife walked up to one house and my daughter knocked. The woman inside didn't hear here right away so she stood patiently waiting. Coming up behind them was a large group of boys about 10-11 years old. As soon as the woman opened the door about 12 of them rushed the door and nearly knocked my little one over, along with my wife, who is 9 months and very obviously pregnant. They simply grabbed at the candy bowl and moved on to the next house. All while a group of parents stood at the curb saying "manners! manners!"
My little girl started crying but the woman gave her a few extra pieces and commented on how polite she was which made her feel better.


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## GiggleingGhost (Aug 10, 2014)

Osie said:


> I had one kid actually attack one of my skeletons after getting his candy. Knocked both legs right off it. Okay, he was young, maybe got scared and didn't know any better but his Dad stood right there and watched the whole thing. Dad did nothing about it, didn't try to stop him and didn't even apologize as I picked up the pieces! Just the one bad egg though. Everyone else was very polite and appreciative of the effort we put in.


Yep I'm with you! We had great T orTer's but some of the parents are what amazes me. This dad wanted to take pic with his three little girls in front of our inflatable black cat. Great . . . no problem until he told his five year old to climb on top of the INFLATABLE black cat!! Noooooooo! No way do I want your child to climb on it!! His reply . . . "It'd make a great shot. You could just move another prop over if it gets broken. It's not like you don't have a whole lot of other stuff." In my mind I replied "#[email protected]%$!%! moron!!!"  But instead I looked at the sweet little girls and said that they'd hurt the cat and all of them said 'nooo!!!" Then I told the dad to take the picture and go. The only other thing we had that only kind of bothered me was . . . we had many parents that held open a bag for " The baby" . . . ya gotta have teeth to eat a Payday but we gave it to them anyway. It bothers me when they do that because I'd rather them just say it's for them than to think I'm stupid enough to think I REALLY believe that they were going to give it to the baby. Silly people!!! 

GiggleingGhost


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## Deadna (Oct 19, 2002)

GiggleingGhost said:


> The only other thing we had that only kind of bothered me was . . . we had many parents that held open a bag for " The baby" . . . ya gotta have teeth to eat a Payday but we gave it to them anyway. It bothers me when they do that because I'd rather them just say it's for them than to think I'm stupid enough to think I REALLY believe that they were going to give it to the baby. Silly people!!!
> 
> GiggleingGhost


This is why I learned the fine art of the fake candy drop. I palm the candy with one hand and flick their bag secretly with my other and they think something fell in...LOL!


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## goneferal (Jul 2, 2010)

I've had some real mouth breathers in the past, parents letting kids walk right into the display, climb the fence etc... This year, we had the best behaved TOT's, the teenagers were even cool. It was a really nice change. I did have one parent tell her kid she'd beat him if he touched anything. She then regretted her wording, I thought it was pretty funny, she obviously wouldn't beat the kid.


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## Araniella (Oct 17, 2010)

No really rude TOT's. Most are just having too much fun and laughing. I like to tease them to get them to say TOT. 

I find most of the rudeness to be from the adults. I can appreciate that they want to take pics..and I encourage it. I love it. BUT I have tons of electric cords and rebar though the yard. I have built photo ops for them to take photos and I have a few props in certain places just for them to take pics with.

This year, I built fencing to help prevent anyone from wandering around the side cemetery (I live on a corner) and unplugging lights and things. You would think that a 4 ft fence with pointy finials would stop someone.. Nope...two adult women went around the fence to climb through the yard and got ticked with me when I yelled at them to get out. They just kept saying 'it's ok...it's ok'. Um , NO. It's not OK. There's a reason there's a fence. Get out.

I don't understand why anyone would think it was OK to go around the fence. And they had to go into a tree to do it. They weren't the only ones, we had to keep a constant eye out.

I also don't understand why they feel the need to touch and grab everything. I have a touch-table of smaller props and things for the kidlets, but really? The adults need one too?


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## Muffy (Sep 25, 2006)

In my 9 seasons here with kids, teens & adults only one kid comes to mind and when I met his parents I knew why. Thank God he moved away. We always have a nice bunch.


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## Skeptic (Aug 29, 2013)

Not a rude tot'er, but I only had 41 this year, that may have changed if I hit the hundreds...


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## Halloween Scream (Sep 29, 2010)

Usually our TOT experience is overwhelmingly positive. This year there were a few things that started to wear me down by the end of the night. 

I almost always try and encourage kids to say "trick-or-treat" (the older ones who are not overwhelmed by the display), but this year so few kids said it that I gave up on that early. 

We had a group of 12 year old boys pull out a string of bone lights that had been carefully buried in the mulch and shake them around. My husband did a great job of talking to them without raising his voice or scaring them, and he made them rebury the cords. 

For years I've defended "the masses of people that get bussed in" as our neighbors like to say and complain about. I like the fact that we have a busy street. But this year it started to bug me when the 20th or so family/group came through with both non-costumed parents holding a plastic bag. Oh, and the family that came by around 9:00 with their infant passed out in the stroller? I don't buy it for a second that the candy is "for the baby". 

I had one 11-12 year old girl pick the candy I gave her out of her bag, wrinkle her nose and say "Can I have something else? Can't have this. Allergies". Her mom was standing right there too. I was taken aback because if she did have allergies, she was old enough to know how to ask politely for an alternative. 

None of this compares to the one little boy who came up, stuck a sword in my mom's face and said "Trick or KILL!!"

These were just a bad apples, and most of the kids were cute and polite. Lots of thank-yous and comments on the decorations. This year just had an above-average occurrence of rude.


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## ElGuapoGuano (Oct 5, 2006)

Really didn't have any rude or bad ToTs this year. Usually have at least a couple that kinda suck. I'd say about 95% had costumes on and on to what a lot of people talked about. I don't ask the kids to say trick or treat, and I don't hand candy out at the door. IF they make it through the yard/maze/garage scene they get some candy. If they are too scared to go through, they get candy anyways.


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## great_ghoul (Aug 14, 2004)

Man - I was really lucky. All my TOTers said the magic words, and even said THANK YOU!!! Even the teenagers. : O And there was no TP or egging


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## Cloe (Mar 18, 2013)

I had one older teen, no costume and was carrying 3 book bags. I made treat bags which can get kind of pricey so giving him 3 as he held each book bag out 1 at a time with no phony explanation or anything was a little much. I have a lot of stuff I leave out all month and not wanting any trouble we went along smiling through gritted teeth.


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## scareme (Jan 18, 2009)

Araniella said:


> No really rude TOT's. Most are just having too much fun and laughing. I like to tease them to get them to say TOT.
> 
> I find most of the rudeness to be from the adults. I can appreciate that they want to take pics..and I encourage it. I love it. BUT I have tons of electric cords and rebar though the yard. I have built photo ops for them to take photos and I have a few props in certain places just for them to take pics with.
> 
> ...


I have to agree with you. I don't have a problem with people not in costume wanting candy. I give candy to the teenagers some people think are to old to tot. Heck, I'll give to the parents if they have a bag. I'll give to the baby in the stroller and the invisible kid someone is carrying a bag for. It's just candy, I have plenty, and that's what we are here for. But why do they have to touch everything? and not just touch, but handle roughly. Often times the parents are standing right there as the kid is trying to wrestle the weapon, that has been hot glued, to the props hand. They want to punch Jason in the head, kick the pumpkin or pull the snake out of the tree. I love when they take pictures with my props, in fact I' proud when they do. But don't wreck the scene for everybody else? That's the part I don't get.


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## LairMistress (Jul 31, 2009)

Most of ours were nice, especially the older ones. That was a very different experience from other places that I've lived!

A couple were mildly annoying. One got down on the ground and pretended to beat up the Shiatsu ground breaker that imthegoddess made. It probably would have been more funny if it hadn't have happened at such a busy time. I think it ruined it a little for the others who were there. He didn't hurt it, though.


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## lisa48317 (Jul 23, 2010)

All of mine were good kids - a couple kids who didn't say anything but I could tell they were too busy taking all the sights in, they almost forgot to hold their bags out! I stand in my driveway and will meet the littler ones halfway - I had a couple walk past me, guess they were making for the front door! I even had a bunch of teenagers come thru (all in real costumes!!) and they were being goofy, saying Happy Kwanzaa and such. So I told them Happy Easter and gave them their goodies. They were having a lot of fun,


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## rosejhonson (Oct 31, 2014)

great!!!! i appreciate that magic words,,even i use to say onwards


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