# Funniest Scares?



## Jack Reaper

This is not related to Halloween but I love to tell this one:

While camping deep in the woods of the Rocky Mountains, a friend of mine and myself had built a camp fire, cracked open a few brews and just kicked back and enjoyed before turning in. After getting pretty well plastered, we were just winding down, when I felt something cold and wet on my arm. I just moved my arm forward when I heard a sneeze from behind me and by the wide eyes on my friend, I knew that something was behind me. I turned and looked and was looking into the eyes of a wolf.
I turned back to my friend with a smirk when it suddenly clicked......There's a wolf behind me! I turned back around and let out a blood curdling scream.....scaring the **** out of that poor Huskie.

"The last thing you will hear on your way to hell, is your guts snappin' like a bullwhip!"


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## bodybagging

I have hundreds of great scare stories but dears story reminded me of a unhalloween related story.....
I skydive, on one of my adventures I was sharing a lift with a COUPLE of newbies....at 3500 feet they were gonna do a static jump....well once we hit 3500 their instructor tells the guy to get out.....He says let my wife go first...ladies first
out she goes ...... then he says take me back down......you could hear her for miles around screaming that he better get his butt out of that plane....we went up to my jump point and out I went ......I landing laughing my butt off because I watched her get into THEIR car and drive off.....seems that HE BEGGED her to go skydiving....lol

I'm the best at what I do, What I do isn't very nice


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## Dear-In-Headlights

If a guy ever did anything like that to me I'd throw his car out of the plane without a parachute. We'd see how well that would work on his insurance claim.



FoLlOw Me To ThE eNd Of ThE wOrLd, AnD i'Ll Be ThE oNe To PuSh YoU oFf ThE eDgE.


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## bodybagging

Bad Dear, leave the guys car out of it......

I'm the best at what I do, What I do isn't very nice


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## paintsaint

Haha im busting up laughing. unfortunately i don't have a good one to add. maybe if i think of one i'll come back


If a deaf person swore, would you wash there hands out with soap?


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## Dear-In-Headlights

Nah, harming a guy's car is ten times worse than kicking him in the nards. I know how to hit em where it REALLY hurts. 



FoLlOw Me To ThE eNd Of ThE wOrLd, AnD i'Ll Be ThE oNe To PuSh YoU oFf ThE eDgE.


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## Gym Whourlfeld

In high school one October night a guy threw a tremendously huge watermellon against the driver's door of my 1959 Galaxie as I drove passed him. For the next 15 minutes everyone's eyes would get big as they looked at the side of the car as I would drive by, some pointing and saying stuff like, "What happened to your door?"
"Who ran into your car?"
At first I really didn't believe them, finally upon someone's insistance, I got out of my car to see it, I slammed the door and the huge, nasty dent popped right away! The door looked perfectly normal!
I never got to see the dent, let alone worry about getting it fixed.

One night a roudy, stupid guy ran away from my house at the tour's conclusion, jumped up onto the hood , then to the roof of my car (the Spookmobile) and said, "Hey man, care if I drive your car?"
Without even thinking for a second I replied, "Sure, care if I sleep with your sister?"
He got upset at my remark. I didn't know whether he even had a sister or not (and really didn't care, whereas he was scuffing up the roof in his stupidity)
His friends confided in me later that he had a sister, about 17 or 18 and there had just been a family fight because she was moving out of the parent's house! (But she wasn't moving in here!)
Oh, Well?
This guy and his four friends we called "The Hey-Dudes", maybe they were smoking weed or whatever, but all the times they went through my house, all they could all ever say was, "Hey Dude."
"Hey Dude" 147 times in one hour from the four of them, no matter what they were doing or seeing in my house?

"My Insanity is well-respected, until they wiggle free and become a stringer for a tabloid"


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## Dear-In-Headlights

Your watermelon story reminded me of something:

Last year I was driving home from work at the haunt and my roomate and I were a few car lengths behind some of my co-workers as we drove down a small backwood-*******-Texas-version of a highway. I drive a Jeep Wrangler and I rarely drive it with the top or doors on it.. so this night there were no doors and no roof around me, as usual. My co-workers were tossing pumpkins onto the road in front of me.. I managed to dodge two with my expert driving skills, and one slammed into my Jeep.. needless to say, I got sprayed with pumpkin guts (my Jeep is all steel so it was unscathed). I was so peeved though, when I finally caught up to them at the light I played it cool (as cool as any person can look when they're covered in pumkin guts) and waited until they rolled down their window to talk to me.. my roomate and I had shaken up an almost full Pepsi and when their window went down we flicked open the top and threw that bottle inside their car. The boys in the backseat (the pumpkin-tossers) got sprayed with Pepsi and I got my revenge.

Of course, this little incident managed to start a car to car war that ensued almost every night afterward. A little childish, yes.. but fun.



FoLlOw Me To ThE eNd Of ThE wOrLd, AnD i'Ll Be ThE oNe To PuSh YoU oFf ThE eDgE.


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## frightmaster

One of my favorite Scare stories is when I was working in a room of a huge haunted attraction. The room was designed as a theater and the show was a guillotine being used to pass through the neck of a victim. The catch is it never worked and always chopped off the head of the person. 

With that being said the normal actor who was the victim took the night off so we had another guy replace him. That SAME night the guy’s mother was coming through to see the show (and her son). Not knowing he was relocated to the guillotine she was asking where he was. When she made it to the room, the security staff QUIETLY came in the room behind the group of about 25 - 30 people. When the blade came down and chopped his head the security staff went running up screaming to clear the room and call 911. The poor guy’s mother was having a heart attack. We then invited her back in to see it again (and to see her son still in one piece).

She was laughing after she seen he was OK then she was yelling at him for having the people scare her like that. His reply as classic....

"Mom, you paid to be scared remember".....

And for the record we actually counted well over 50 people (grown) who pee'ed thier pants at this place....

Ahh the memories....


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## Fleshrot

Funniest scares?! I got one for ya! I'm definitely NOT a racist,and in no way am I trying to sound like one, this is just what I have observed and come to the conclusion of from my haunt.

white people- they get scared easilly enough, some try to hide the fact you just scared them, some really don't get scared, and the guys try to act all macho in front of their girlfriends. The woman just laugh, and then some of them... well, I've been really mean in the past when I find that I have a true screamer!

black people- they're definitely funnier than the first group. I scared a group so bad stepping towards them with a skill saw going in the other, they were so close to each other. They walked in more of a scuffle fashion than actual slow walking they were so close. Anyway, I scared the first 3 so bad, there was at least 10 of them in the line, they all fell backwards perfectly like dominos!!! They screamed bloody murder, I find they exagerate a lot, then again some of them are questionable if they're really that scared. Who knows? Anyway, when they went to get back up, I put the skill saw really close to this girls head, she freaked out and made everyone fall down again as she tried desperately to escape by pushing everyone out of her way! I remembered that group for the rest of the night! I could'nt help but laugh!

Then you have the hispanics, now these are a group to watch for a good laugh!- I've scared a group of them bad enough, they immediately took off running, until they found out they were cornered. One of the guys I worked with in the scene had just come back from his break, not knowing I had people on the run, he stepped through the exit door, they thought he must've been hiding behind there! They stopped dead in their tracks and took off towards me again! They realized I was there and turned around again. My friend quickly realized what was going on and pretended he had been there all along! We had them cornered for a few seconds and then let them go when we heard another group 2 scenes away screaming. Oh, what a night that was!


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## Ugly Joe

Simple one from last year...

I was a scarecrow in my front yard (I replaced the dummy I had set up in the yard for the previous 10-12 days, with myself on halloween night)...

I had a fog machine running behind a screened-off area of the porch, and it would hiss intermittantly while warming up (on a timer - not creative, but effective).

Two teenage girls came up, and one of them heard the fogger - she was convinced there was someone behind the screen, waiting to jump out at her.

She slowly circled around the screened area, all the while telling the fogger, *"I know you're in there - I can HEAR you!! You're not going to scare me!" *and such...

Her circling literally brought her back to within 2 feet of me - I was propped on a crossbar, standing completely still (neither one of them had yet figured out I was a real person).

All I had to do was scream at the top of my lungs with a quick lunge - I think she lifted about 5 feet off the ground. Her friend didn't fare much better.


*EYYYyyye..ain't go noooboodeee...and no one cares..for..me. a-ya-ta-ta-taa, ta-tatatata...* - _I-gor / Marty Feldman_


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## DivineTorments

This is not Halloween related but still makes me laugh every time I think about it. Okay so I was at my best friend's house and it was night time. Everyone was at home and her mother also had a friend there that just stopped by. I had just done something to hurt my ankle and asked my friend to go outside with me while I walked it off a little. While outside walking around I noticed some cars lined up along the street in front of her house (this is a typical situation). There was a truck and then her aunt's van behind it. I noticed that there was someone in the driver's seat of the truck and they were looking at us. So I quietly took my friend behind the van that waas behind the truck and told her I saw someone in the truck watching us. At the time I didn't know it but my friend thought I was trying to scare her. She decided to scare me so she was going to sneak up to the truck and look in and scream. Well she crept up to the truck and jumped up by the back window and screamed. Then she stopped, leaned forward a bit, noticed there really was someone in the truck, jumped 5 feet in the air, ran around the yard screaming, and finally ran in the house. Leaving me outside in the dark laughing while limping my way to the door. I almost peed my pants I was laughing so hard. Come to find out it was the husband of her mother's friend and he was just waiting in the car for his wife. When we went outside to meet him he said that my friend had scared the hell out of HIM.

...memories of sparkling nightmares and divine torments...


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## Dear-In-Headlights

I dont care who you are, that's funny right there.


FoLlOw Me To ThE eNd Of ThE wOrLd, AnD i'Ll Be ThE oNe To PuSh YoU oFf ThE eDgE.


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## spookhead

One time I pretended to be a dummy, and just lay on the ground. Well a group of teenage girls came up to me and one of them picked up my hand and began to shake it, thinking I was inanimate. She told her friends that I was her new aquatince, and one by one they all shook my limp hand. The last girl was the shy one of the bunch and you could tell she was only there because she wanted to be cool. She slowly picked up my hand and I grabed it and pulled her down. I whispered in her ear, "Happy Halloween, it's going to be your last." Well, you should have seen the look on her face. She screamed bloody murder, along with all of her friends. She kept screaming and screaming, and I had to take off my mask and tell her it was a joke before she stopped. They moved on, huffing and laughing nervously. My friend, who had been sitting next to me and I had a long long laugh.

p.s. it may seem that I dislike teenage girls alot, but consittering i am one, there is only so much self loathing one can do.

~The Scare Queen~


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## Autumn_Dreams

About ten years ago when my kids were still in school, etc., we lived on base at Keesler AFB in Biloxi, MS. We set two chairs on either side of the front door: one chair had a stuffed dummy with a bowl of candy is his lap, the other chair had my (now ex) husband dressed the same with an empty bowl in his lap. The kids would come up and look back and forth between the two, then spotting the bowl with the candy they'd reach in for a piece... Ron would then raise his head and say, queitely, "what are you doing?" And they'd run, screaming, into their parents arms.. who were laughing their butts off.

The kids would start laughing once they figured out what was going on, and even the teens that came by would go white as a sheet when it happened. We never did that to the little one's though. When the little kids would come up I'd walk with them and show them where the candy was, with Ron keeping his head down and his mouth shut the whole time. God, that was SO much fun. 



"In nightmares our screams are silent, yet all fallen angels hear us on their way down." --E. Riddle

"Preceding our dreams is silence; a pause in our mortality. -- E. Riddle"

The Corridors: Where Halloween is Forever


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## witchiepoo

last year I made a witch model & had her sitting at the foot of the stairs. she was there for about 2 weeks & my hubby & kids kept complaining because they forgot she was there & would get a fright when coming downstairs or into the hall. one night I was upstairs & my son removed her mask & cloak & put them on & sat at the bottom of the stairs exactly as she had been. I was halfway downstairs when he turned round & went 'boo' - I started screaming & running back up the stairs again - family all falling about helpless with laughter in the hall! I was shaking for about 10 mins! thats what I get for inflicting halloween on them every year!


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## Grim Spirit

Two favorite scares:

An old girlfriend came into town and we decided to hook up (we've always had a great relationship). After a night of dinner and fun we went back to my place...normal conclusion ensued. Afterward, we walked to the fridge to get something to drink. As she entered the kitchen, bare-assed of course, she FINALLY noticed the SIX FOOT WEREWOLF standing in the corner...she screamed, her feet came about 3 feet off the floor and near about knocked me over trying to get back to the bedroom (did I mention that fear does interesting things to the female anatomy?). Eventually she thought it was hilarious.

The second. One Halloween I had this excellent scarecrow on the front porch with a carved pumpkin for a head. Well, it seems that I had carved it a little too early in the month. By Halloween night it was rather rotten in places. During Trick or Treating, this one absolutely adorable six year old dressed as a princess came to the porch and was fascinated by the scarecrow. As she was looking at it, the pumpkin collapsed on itself and THEN, as the base of the pumpkin was still attached to the scarecrow, started a LONG, SLOW unraveling down the chest of the scarecrow, accompanied by this disgusting WET, TEARING sound. The poor girl screamed, ran back out to the road, and then threw up. I felt so bad about it. Luckily her dad wasn't upset. I couldn't replicate that if I were TRYING to.


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## Long_Tom

I have another of the "dressed as a dummy" ones, the funniest part being that the teenaged girl crouched down to where I was draped over the candy bowl, peered closely into my face, and proclaimed for the benefit of her friends, "That's so fake!" Of course, that's when I went for her.


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## Gym Whourlfeld

Maybe others will also see this as "Funny", I know I and my wife do.
Last year on some haunt site where patrons of haunts can critique them (or sometimes usually "slander" is the word?)
Someone said The Ravens Grin Inn is "So fake", everything was "fake"!?
Maybe they were looking for real blood and guts displayed?
Funny thing is we don't have any bloody displays or guts here and the house itself is an 1870 Italianate house with a long history and an extensive haunted history with a wine cellar below the basement, carved from solid rock(Floor and 1/2 of the side walls) 31 ft. by 16ft. with a 12 ft. high stone arch ceiling.
So if this place is "Fake", what must all the other haunts be?
People! Aren't they something?


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## skullboy

I move around alot and last year I was acting like one of my dummies tied to the"PERGOLA" a group of teen age girls were looking at me.they kept asking me if I was real,some said I was fake.One said"I'M GOING TO KICK HIM IN THE BALLS AND WE WILL SEE"Thats when I lunged at them,I think they are still running.


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## pumpkinhead

One of my non-Halloween scares was when I worked as a restoration Ecologist in Illinois. Our small crew was clearing fallen trees from a trail in a 1000 acre woodland. For some reason, that whole year we had been talking about a local who always asked my co-worker if he had seen sasquatch yet. The guy really believed it was just a matter of time for our crew. Anyway, my coworker was talking about it again one day and we were all laughing about it. 

Later on, while working alone, I saw two crew members, through the trees. They were doubling back to get more gas and oil for our chainsaws. It was November and I was bundled up so I looked pretty big (6'2" tall as well). I put my hood up and waited fifteen minutes for them to get back to the huge White Oak where I was hiding. When they had just past my tree, I jumped out in a dead sprinting bear crawl snorting and gasping. Those big bad lumberjacks screamed like little babies and ran like turkeys. I probably didn't get them as well as I could have since I began laughing at myself as soon as I started snorting. 

When we all got done laughing, they all confirmed that they thought I was either a wild bore or Sasquatch. Funny because wild bores aren't found in that part of Illinois and Sasquatch, well, that depends on who you're talking to


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## Gym Whourlfeld

*Thanks Bob!*

Last night at the Ravens Grin Inn in Mount Carrol, Illinois in one of the groups here last night was a young man named "Bob".
I HAVE NEVER SEEN ANYONE REACT TO A SCARE OR A STARTLE AS BOB DID HERE LAST NIGHT!! (And I have been open for business every night for almost 20 years now!)
Yet he and friends kept on keeping on and laughing about his severe twitching screams and yells and running around inside a room.
He may even return and actually work here for us!
Last weekend I got pretty giddy, laughing so much, so often.
At the night's start it was a front room routine about the supernatural in this house. By the end of the night it was me showing off my ESP talent of "knowing" who was about to pass gas in the room.
Of course this had been inspired by some blatant producers of said product and them bragging about it.
We have the sofa cushions covered with plastic garbage bags for this reason.


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## Dwnocturnal

A couple of my funniest scares (I have so many) - 

1. Working for several big haunts in KY, I have seen a lot of people do really stupid stuff when they are scared. Some people just scream and then laugh. Some people cower and scream. Some people piss themselves (yes this is very funny). But the funniest are the people who think that they know whats going on, decide they aren't going to be scared by it, and then end up running for their lives, screaming their heads off. A good example of this was when I worked an outdoor haunt out in the woods. I worked along with a friend in a 2 character skit area where we usually worked together to get the best scare out of our victims. Well, this night was no exception. About midway through the night, we had a group of about 5 or 6 people come through, mostly made up of girls (probably teens-20's) and 1 guy. The guy was a big burly black guy, who so far, seemed like he had not been phased through the haunt. We could tell this as he came into our area because all of the girls were trying to keep in a tight pack around him. Well, after my friend got the initial shock scare and scattered the girls, this guy was turned to face my friend, laughing, and backing up on down the path towards me. What he didn't know is that I was crouched low on the ground waiting for him. Needless to say, as he backed up right to where I was (still laughing), all I had to do was make a quick sweeping motion with my hands towards his ankles, slip out in front of him and start going into primal hysterics, making all kinds of weird animal noises and grunting at him. Well, at this point, I got to see the smile immediately fade from his face, which was replaced with a sickened look of terror. I only saw this for a split second, because the next thing I knew, he had turned away from me and was running off the path, not watching where he was going....WHAM!....right into a tree....knocked the sorry SOB out cold...after my friend and I stopped laughing, we went over and checked on the guy (i know, good priorities right?), who already had a big bruised knot forming on his forehead...to make the rest of this short, we had the owner and a paramedic come check the guy out who came to the conclusion that he had merely knocked himself out when he hit the tree (paramedic also whispered he could have fainted), but other than that he was fine....lmao...did I mention he about flipped out again when he woke up and saw me staring down at him....haha...made my night for sure.

2. Not really a halloween scare, but a good one none the less...I actually don't wait for halloween to come around before I start scaring people...it's just kind of a hobby of mine...I guess more like an addiction, you can ask my wife (who, coincidentally, this story is actually about). Now I should mention, my wife is not the type of person who scares very easily. She is not afraid of horror movies, psychos, or monsters. It takes a really good effort to get her to jump. Well, I stumbled upon just such a chance one night. The last story was kind of long so I will try to make this one a bit shorter...

I told my wife I was going out to the store to grab some more beer, I'd be back in a few. Well, we live just a few blocks from the store. I had that sudden urge and epiphany that I might try to pull off a scare tonight. I got in my car, drove to the store, got my beer, and took a while to read through a magazine (figured I would delay my return, make her worry a bit). Well, when I got back, all the lights were out in the house....I thought, "Perfect!". When I got out of the car (I left my beer), I made sure to shut the door really loud so that if she was in the bed, she would hear it, but instead of going in, I crept around and hid behind the garage. According to plan, after I didn't come into the house, my wife came to the door, turned on the outside light, and peered around for me, seeing my car in the driveway. When she couldn't see me, she came outside and walked all the way around the house, the car, and the garage looking for me (she knows me all to well). When she went around the house I slipped in the house and went to setup my diversion. I could only guess what she was thinking looking for me outside....lol...anyways, I pulled down the ladder-stairs for my attic, grabbed my cat, crept up very quickly, and put the cat down and tossed her mouse behind her (shes very playful)....then proceeded to a nice hiding place behind our couch. When my wife came back into the completely dark house, she locked the doors, turned on all the lights and proceeded to search every nook and cranny looking for me,..for some reason she didnt check the attic, I guess she didnt think I could get up there without her hearing me...when she couldn't find me, she turned out the lights and went and got back in the bed. Well, according to plan, the cat started making all kinds of thumping noise up in the attic, to which my wife got out of bed, turned on the lights, pulled down the stiars and started cursing at me to get my ass down there, get to bed, and quit trying to scare her....at this point, the cat didn't like her cursing at her I guess, because she made 1 big leap and cleared my wifes head coming down the stairs, which about that time I crept up behind her and had grabbed her around the ankles...she took a leaf out of the cats book and in no more than 1 big jump and a couple stairs, she had made it up into the attic and had pulled the ladder-stairs up behind her...It took me about 20 minutes of persuading (and trying to control my laughter) to get her to come down, at which point I was called an ass and told to sleep on the couch.....ahhh, it was worth it though....hahahaha


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## Not-so-sunny-lane

We had in our yard a big smoker/grill set up with dry ice to make it look like we were cooking something. My husband had a mask on and a butchers apron sprayed with fake blood. We had a group of teenagers (we always save the scarier stuff for the older crowds) coming towards us to "trick or treat" and my hubby yelled, "Awww, fresh meat for my grill" picked up a chainsaw that was hidden at his feet and started it up. The biggest, and probably oldest, teenager turned tail and went running down the street screaming "Dude's got a chainsaw, Dude's got a chain saw!" His friends turned and joined him running away while we had a huge laugh.


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## Baron Samedi

A couple of years ago, on halloween night we had a car pull up outside the haunt. A young gentleman and his lady companion got out and came in. I bade them good evening and the gentleman explained that they had driven past, seen the queue of TOT's, the flashing lights and some of the props and had decided to turn around and driven back for a closer look.
I thanked them for their interest and we got into quite a conversation while they watched the TOT's and took a closer look at the props.

Unknown to anybody (me included), one of my scare actors who plays "Funnyballs the Psycho clown" had watched all this transpire and sneaked out the front and secreted himself in the back of their car.
Conversation done, the young couple thanked me , I wished them a good night and a Happy Halloween and they returned to their car.

The screams were horrible.

To this day, I am convinced that young lady somehow went through the door _before_ she opened it. As for the young man, well.. he had spectacles on when he got into the car. He wasn't wearing them when he scrambled across the road on all fours...

I was as bewildered as anyone, as I had no idea that Funnyballs had gotten loose.
They were so badly shaken that I had to apologise most profusely and we had to bring them inside the house for Mrs Samedi to make them a strong cup of sweet tea.

Luckily, they saw the funny side after getting over the initial shock, and now they come by every Halloween night for a look and to say hello.

Nowadays though, they make sure the car doors are locked.


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## Pumpkin King

When I was ten I played dummy on the porch in a ghost outfit. I scared one kid so bad he ran away. I got these girly real nice and they screamed and jumped ten feet in the air.


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## esotericobserver

I blame my mother and this incident for my love of Halloween.
When i was just barely a teenager my mother dressed as the grim reaper (no skin showing so she looked fake) and stood behind the cauldron holding the candy (that year it was full size boxes of crackerjacks). A parent walks up with two children... one male roughly age ten and one female roughly age six. On approach the older male child hesitates and encourages his little sister to go up first. He taunts her and insults her bravery in an attempt to cover his own fear. She decides despite her fear to walk up to the cauldron head held high. My mother bends down and complements her on her bravery and gives her two boxes of candy. The brother feeling smarmy and wanting his share scurries up as his sister walks away. He reaches forcefully into the cauldron to grab his reward and my mother opens her cape and surrounds the boy with it. A scream comparable to that of a teenager in a horror film bellows from under the cape. The boy panics and desperately seeks a way out. His sisters eyes light up with great satisfaction. Her bravery was rewarded and his bulling was punished. He manages to break free and runs screaming to his parent. (the parent, of coarse, was trying to hide their laughter)
It was wonderful. My mother has been a teacher for 30 years and I think she delights in Halloween because she can finally seek revenge anonymously.


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## Pumpkin King

Alright, it happened on halloween. Our last room this year was a twisting hallway with a strobe and compressed air. These two girls came up in poodle skirts, one chickened out, and the other went in. I hid next to the strobe and right after the air. She was screaming. The air went off, I came out, and she ran.


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## Baron Samedi

Two guys came through our haunt this year, obviously more than a lttle inebriated.
as they passed the old dead tree, my "little girl" zombie appeared from behind it and gave an ear piercing shriek.
Picture below shows the aftermath of attempted escape route by aforementioned surprised and disorientated gentleman.....


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## Ugly Joe

Baron - I am wiping tears from my eyes at the moment, thanks to Funnyballs.
That may be one of my favorites, to date. Ingenious, daring, and stealthy - what a wonderful mix.

Oh, and condolences on your wall...however, congrat's on the method!


One other scare I managed a couple years ago was on one of my own progeny, who was attempting to sneak up on me.
She, and two of her friends, were out ToT'ing, and were coming to our place during a lull in the crowds.
I spotted them on the opposite side of the street from us, saw them huddled in a whisper, and thought they'd need a good scare.
I crept through the shadows, around a car, and waited for them to approach the front yard - they were so intent on scaring me, they didn't notice when I stepped in behind them, and quite literally got within 2 feet of them.
So, daughter in the middle of her two friends - all holding each other and looking for me.
I leaned in behind them, tapped the outside shoulders of the girls on the sides, and simply spoke a quick "ha!" right in the ear of my sweet, innocent, conniving little daughter.
The explosion of their own screams, combined with them all trying to run in different directions, caused them so much panic that they simply bumped into each other again and again, negating their own escape. Which gave them a bit more panic.
Finally, all clutching each other, they calmed down...she'll still give me a punch to this day, when I bring this one up.
All so very worth it.


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## Lonescarer

this was my first year doing a full-out haunted house and one group took us telling them they had to find their own way out of the dot room to mean they had to find their own way out of the house and ended up running the whole thing again before we could stop them. And I mean running, screaming, freaking out. The layout is just a big circle, but as in the haunted mansion the way out sorta disappears once your inside, so they thought they were going forward, when really they were retracing their steps, and this was a mixed group of adults, young kids and teens.


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## savagehaunter

in college I saw the movie Scream. that night I went to bed. Around 2AM the light in my room came on and in came a cloaked figure with a scream mask on. I bolted up screaming and went for my shotgun I keep for skeet shooting and home protection. the guy was my room mate and It took him forever to calm me down. lucky for him no one got hurt.


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## pmpknqueen

frightmaster said:


> and for the record we actually counted well over 50 people (grown) who pee'ed thier pants at this place....


omg that's hilarious haha

lololol


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## pmpknqueen

haha ok i have two that i thought were funny...

1. Ok...so one halloween a couple years ago i was trick or treating with my sisters and my best friend. well, we get up to this one house and it has a "scarecrow" sitting on the porch holding a bowl of candy with a sign that says "Take One."

Well, we all pretty much know it could possible be someone really sitting there waiting to scare us so my friend (she gets very scared easily. And she's the kind of person who, when she gets scrared, she swings a punch just out of reflex. She even broke a ride at an amusement park because of it) anways my friend says "if you are real, you better not freakin jump or even think about scaring me cause i WILL punch you out of reflex." So we walk up and each take a peice without being scared or anything. Well, one of my sisters, who was like 16 or so, is behind us and she's the last to go up. Well, as soon as she does, the scarecrow jumps a bit and says "Boo!" Well, she screams way loud and deliberately jumps off of the porch and into some bushes!! We laughed so hard for like 5 minutes before we could attempt to pull her out of the bushes haha

2. This other one happened my Junior year at highschool. It was halloween at school and we were aloud to wear our costumes. So i dressed as Edward Scissorhands that year. And since i was a girl, it seemed kind of out of place when i was standing around in the hallway with some of my other girl friends talking. We were right outside the gym and we were all like huddled in a circle just talking. Well, these two cheerleaders start walking towards us just chatting it up and they stop behind me and i can hear them talking and one of them says "i wonder who that person's supposed to be dressed as..." and so i turn around. well, i guess the girl wasn't expecting what she saw cause she freakin screamed bloody murder and ran down the hall not stopping. her friend ran after her laughing and my friends and i were like rolling on the floor with laughter haha. I even did that to a couple more people that day too. lol


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## ReaperRick

First let me just say this. As a police officer for more than 20 years I've had numerous times when I've had the chance to scare the "rookies". And it's almost as good as scaring teenage boys. (Those are stories are for another time
But a few years back when pirates of the carribean just came out I did a Pepper's Ghost effect where I would change from a live pirate into a skeleton and then walk up to the Tots. Well one young boy was frighten so badly he fled screaming and dropped his bag of candy. I kept his candy bag hoping he would come back. Funny thing is that he came back the next year and I still had his candy bag and gave it back to him.


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## Pumpkin King

pmpknqueen said:


> Well, we all pretty much know it could possible be someone really sitting there waiting to scare us so my friend (she gets very scared easily. And she's the kind of person who, when she gets scrared, she swings a punch just out of reflex. She even broke a ride at an amusement park because of it)


I'd love to hear that story!


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## Jeffhawk

one year we set a boney bob wireless mic. skeleton in the grave yard,this guy came up to us and gave us a quick run down on his sisters life-apperently she had a boyfriend(?) die a few years back.as she past bob it called out her name.of coarse she stopped,well bob started talking to her like they were old friends.knew everything and all about her.heres the part thats not so funny, when she asked," who is this?" he responded with her boy friends name.


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## zleviticus

Jeffhawk said:


> one year we set a boney bob wireless mic. skeleton in the grave yard,this guy came up to us and gave us a quick run down on his sisters life-apperently she had a boyfriend(?) die a few years back.as she past bob it called out her name.of coarse she stopped,well bob started talking to her like they were old friends.knew everything and all about her.heres the part thats not so funny, when she asked," who is this?" he responded with her boy friends name.


That is just wrong... 

I have a couple not that bad but funny nonetheless...

A friend of mine was coming over one night, i had to go out and feed the dogs and it just got dark. I saw him come up the drive and snuck around the other cars. When he parked and got out. I jumped out running towards him. I never thought a 200 lb man could leap over the hood of a truck so fast. I was laughing so hard i hurt my side. I still get hit when i tell that story. 


A group of us got together after college for a little mini reunion at a friends house. I was storming out with lighting and all that jazz. no rain yet. Well they all thought it would be fun to watch the original halloween movie. We were about half way in to it when i remembered i had some coveralls in my car and my friend had the mask. I snuck out and put everything on. I then snuck around back where the tv sat and there was a large sliding door. As they watched i could see someone start to point and others would wave him off like whatever. Then out of sheer coincidence at a pivotal scare point in the movie, lightning flahed and they coudl easily see me in the yard walking toward the door. they scattered like roaches when the lights came on. Once guy got so scared he ran out of the house, to his car and peeled out never to return fo rthe rest of the night. It was awesome. It did help matters that i am 6' 3" and stocky built.


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## Gym Whourlfeld

*Many Years Ago..*

It was a quiet night, the town was very quiet, an old Chevy pulled up here with two guys and three girls but two of the girls were too afraid to come in the house.(The Ravens Grin Inn)
As we were upstairs the owner of the car looked out the window just in time to see the two girls drive it away.
"!#%#^H%*! I told her not to drive my car!"
A few moments later the car returned and he asked me if I had any old masks and things they could borrow?
"I have alot more than masks."
I provided them with some old blue jean work jackets, masks of course and some hand-held weapons (real garden tools)
As I stood looking out the second floor window with the one girl brave enough to be in the house we watched these guys creep up to the back of the car, the girl who had been driving it was still behind the wheel, she saw them, started the car, pulled it into gear, the car moved maybe three feet, then stalled!
Meanwhile the two unknown personalitys were surrounding the car, meanacing with noises and steel-edged "weapons!"
She turned the motor over again as her fermale passenger was screaming and going bananas, the car moved another few feet, she killed the motor AGAIN!
Just as if it was some low-buget horror production, she started and killed the engine numerous times and never got the car moved more than probably 15 feet the whole time! (Not far enough to escape the goon-squad, obviously!)
We were laughing alot watching this from the second floor window.
Of course later on the girl trying to drive away from fear tried to say she knew that it was them all the long.
I doubt that.


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## Gym Whourlfeld

*Think "Smaller".*

Big monsters are scary but very small ones can Really terrorize many .
I had a group of 8 people in my kitchen, it's an 1880 house, which lends much atmosphere and apprehension. This group were all friends all tall and large people in their easly 20's, from downtown Chicago, 3 hours away.
I had their attention when I looked at the one corner of the room and said, "What's that? Is that a mouse?"
A ball of furr ran up the wall!
The screams were terrific as they all moved very quickly with much hustle!
When the "dust cleared" these people were about ten feet from where they had begun, all piled up at the door at the other end of the room where they had come in.
I needed a black& white referees shirt , whistle to blow the play dead and remove my hat to mark placement of the football!
It took some time to untangle the bodies.
It was so incredible.
That ball of scary furr was my creation, under my control, just push the button...
Then we went upstairs. At that time one large room was a simple maze featuring numerous voting booths with curtians hanging. The poster said, "Vote! Tweedle Dum or Tweedle Dee?"
with indenticle pictures of a wild-eyed maniac holding a knife to a person's throat.
(Just like a real election!)
As they began passing through this area my helper made his presence known, he was wearing a very comical pumpkin mask that made his head seem tall and thin, he also had on a child's Dracula cape that didn't even come down to his elbows. (Pretty scary stuff, huh?)
They took one look at him as all he did was stand there, SCREAMED Bloody Murder and falling to knees scrambled back they way they had come! Talk about us laughing!!!!
I had an address for one of the people in that group that had arranged for them to come here so I sent them a postcard asking for comments or suggestions?
"We had fun seeing our friends get so scared...but it could have been darker and scarier."
To which I said to myself upon reading this:"What do they want? Chitty pantz and heart-attacks?" (I ain't cleaning THAT UP!)


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## Gym Whourlfeld

*No More "Freelance" Scares.*

I learned my lesson. Only in the Ravens Grin, not outside in a girlfriend's kitchen!
"Are you coming up tonight?"
"No, I have to stay home tonight."
Then about 10:30 I got some simple make-up smeared on my face and snuck in her side door as she and her 14 yr. old daughter were mere feet away watching television around the corner in the next room.
This house is a very small "cracker-box" house built as small and cheap as possible right after WW2, the plans were probably found in Popular Science Magazine or something.
So I squat down in her kitchen between her refigerator and stove (just enough room to do this)
I wait awhile incase they might have heard and noises from me opening the door when I came in.
What am i going to do? They could be sitting infront of the TV for the next couple of hours.
I began making small, weird sounds, hard to identify, real curiosity builders.
"Did you hear that?"
"What?"
"I'm going to see what the noise is in the kitchen."
As my girlfriend turned on the light , then walked into the kitchen I slowly raised up snarling, her kitchen light was very bright, I just had some black and white greasey make-up smeared on my face, so I assumed she would "Eeek!" Then recognise me, and laugh, then her daughter would walk in, and do the same thing.
WRONG!
Her face twisted and distorted in total unmittigated FEAR as she screamed and screamed and screamed, she wouldn't stop screaming!
Her daughter came running, saw me, and she wouldn't stop screaming either!
How they could not recognise me in about 2 seconds I could not begin to figure out!????
I only was doing this so we all could have a laugh, not to see her face unrecognizable as their screams" broke glass", or thereabouts!
So about this same time when someone called me wanting to hire me to put on my one very hideous costume I had made (and won $300 with) to scare their friend who was renting a weekend cabin, I said, "Does he carry a gun? Does he have a heart condition?" I had no trouble saying "no" quickly to this idea.
"BOO!"
"Bang!"
No thank you.


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## Gym Whourlfeld

*Scary Jim Mets Out Justice!*

A sunny summer day, I'm working on some plumbing, walking back and forth to the truck getting tools and parts. I hear some contentious voices, I stop and watch as the kid living next door is picking on this other kid(verbally) The big kid is three times the size of the kid he is threatening, probably a 140 pouind 12 yr. old versus a 50 pound 8 yr. old.
The big kid is now standing in a small tree about 3 feet above the ground, hanging on to branches with both hands as he has his arms like a wingspan stretched out for maximum leverage and support.
The "NA-Nahs!" are going back and forth. As I am passing the big kid didn't know anyone was around (like me)
I put the open end of the 2inch pvc pipe( "8 ft, long) to within inches of the back of the big kid's head and growled through that pipe!
His whole body vibrated with sudden fear, he was gripping the tree harder now, he didn't even begin to fall out of it.
Of course the little kid go a really good laugh out of all of this!

I just walked on into the basement with the pvc.
"Be good, Santa is watching? God is watching? Just Jim was watching this time, but it was good enough.


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## Calloween

I love the second one.


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## pmpknqueen

Pumpkin King said:


> I'd love to hear that story!


Basically she was at six flaggs....and she was with her boyfriend at the time, and they went on this kinda kiddy ride...not sure what the name was. But she said it was one of those rides like It's a Small World where you're in a boat and your sailing along and there were these little happy machanical monsters singing and such, and anyway eventually the ride goes into this dark cave where there are mean monsters, and one of them jumps out to scare the passengers, and she got so scared, she punched it real hard. and then like the whole ride stopped. and the music was like skipping and the robots were like sputtering haha. and her boyfriend was like "dude you broke the ride!!!" and she was like "oops..." and this little kid behind her was crying and stuff. It was hilarious haha.


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## Gym Whourlfeld

*That's Why*

I often weld steel to create any of my possible "Punch-ables".
I hate fixing things that should never have been broken.


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## Bilbo

One of the worst/best things I've ever done in my life was help set up my sister. She was about 14 and "dating" the grandson of our next door neighbor. Well this boy, we'll call him "Larry" because that's his name, found a 6'-2" mannequin in the storage closet at the garage his father worked in (don't ask, I still haven't figured that one out).

He brought it over and the two of us dressed it up in some dirty mechanic's overalls, that is to say the overalls were dirty, not the mechanic that owned them. He might have been, but I don't know for sure.

Where was I? Oh yeah. We also put on a cheapy fake knife and crappy circa 1981 wolf-man mask (this was around 1981, so they were around) and "hid" it in the corner of her room, a canary yellow, uber-girly dwelling that he looked a little out of place in.

Sis comes home and takes the longest time going upstairs. When she finally does she hops on her bed with a book and reads, and reads, and reads, and FINALLY looks up. The shriek could be heard three states over and she was white as a sheet. Needless to say her relationship with Larry didn't last too long after that.


Years later (actually last year) fate got even with me. I got a three foot "Jeeves" figure from Bath Bed and Beyond (must be part of that "Beyond" section. The bucket or platter that he was supposed to be holding was missing so I got him heavily clearanced for $1.38. 

Well, there's nothing scary about a three foot butler, even if his eyes do move and he speaks when you walk in front of him.

So, like any good/bad haunter I took off his head, dismembered his hands and feet and rebuilt his body using PVC, plywood and chicken wire. He now stands 6'-9" wearing a Goodwill tux a tad too short for him.

He did his job scaring (or just spooking) the neighborhood kids on Halloween but when the night was over, he was just too big for my storage room so he was relegated to the closet of the guest room. 

The guest room we haven't had a chance to repaint since we bought the house.
The guest room that the former owner's teenage daughter lived in.
The guest room colored Pepto Bismal pink, bubble gum pink, cotton candy pink. Uber-girly pink that a 6'-9" psycho would look out of place in. 

Foreboding setting in yet.

Well, I... the man who dismembered and rebuilt this monstrosity, the man who dragged him back indoors after Halloween was over so he wouldn't get hit by vandals, the man who cleared out this closet to accommodate my newest "friend"... was also the man who promptly forgot I put him in there.

Months later, I needed an extension cord. This closet also houses our extension cord supply, so I ran into this innocent, unspooky, uber-girly guest room, threw open the closet door and immediately died of a massive coronary. 

Yep, I'm dead now. It's not so bad and the internet connection speeds are much better than DSL, cable or even fibre optic.

Karma can be a real beyotch, ya know?


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## The Archivist

My favorite prank was to tie a human dummy to the back of my neighbor's pickup truck. He didn't know about it. Best of all, I made it look like a real human not just some mannequin from the store. (Clothes and all) He drove for about 2 miles till the highway patrol stopped him...

Reason why I did this? He's one of those if it's Halloween or related, it must be devil worship therefore must be dealt with by any means necessary. He had trashed my setup and a neighbor's setup. What he didn't know was that we both had high resolution security cams...


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## Jeffhawk

I would love to have a neighbor like that, oh the fun I would have tormenting him and coming up with so many evil things to do..if you need advise..check in to the book," how to screw your neighbor." it has some very great ideas on how to get revenge!


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## Blade-of-the-Moon

When our klowns laugh it's never funny for the patrons.. 

We've had the standard heart attack in our haunt, people passing out, one time I ran a woman and her daughter into a side room with now way out but past me..they decided a plywood wall was easy to get thru than me...but their heads didn't agree ! ;D

We had another fellow who in his mad dash out escaped our chainsaw wielding klown...so he just followed the guy to his car...the guy was still running..he dove across the hood of his car denting the heck out of it...and made it to the driver side. He sat in there with hte doors locked and wouldn't even let his friends in..they told us he sat there for half an hour, took his shirt off and just laid his head on the wheel. They said they wanted to borrow a mask so they could get him again when he finally let them in...some people are just twisted..shame I couldn't hire them... :lol


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## stealth_eagle

I favourite scare would have to be a couple years after I just started haunting I was doing my thing when this kid mabey around 7-8 comes up with his mom my fog goes off and out I jump through it the kid dosn't even flinch mom drops the kids candy and takes off running down the street not looking back once her kid just standing there looking all shocked just going ahh mom so my wife took him to a few more houses until his dad came back asking is my kid here every time I think about it I can still see his mom running down the road leaving here son behind


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## Blade-of-the-Moon

lol ....It amazes me the people you think won't be scared usually end up terrified and those you would think would be scared sometimes aren't.

Like boyfriends and husbands almost always shove their girlfriends/wives in front of them..offering them up like a sacrifice to save themselves. Big jocks take off running 90 miles and hour and I've had kids only 13 come through alone and just enjoy themselves...it's..weird.


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## stealth_eagle

I love when the big tough kids usually 14 think I am a bad a#$ get terrified and almost wet them selves it so funny


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## jrmullens

I have so many good ones from working in a haunted house last year. My favorite one is this. I'm locked in this cage with body parts hanging from the ceiling, screaming like a maniac, people walk by the cage 3 times as part of a maze. This one guy gets too close the cage and says Man your breath stinks. About that time the whole group got bottle necked in hall. I pop out a side door and stand right next to him, 6 inches away and said "You want to repeat that!" He fell back like somebody shot him and knocked 2 of his friends over. My daughter worked with me one night, she got behind this guy in the hall, he wa like 6'6" or more, she's 5'6", she whispers "This is when you run." He knocked everybody in front of him over, we laughed for an hour.


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## Blade-of-the-Moon

I love when they comment on just how bad your breath..is ( occupational hazard of an in-your-face actor )....but really what do they expect with old corpses rotting between your teeth ? :lol


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## PaganFly

*The start of it all....Maybe.*

When I was a child (Maybe 8-9 years old), my family decided to do a low-budget haunted walk-through in my Aunt's house.

My eldest Aunt (it was her house) had her face painted like a ghost and was running up and down the street in a flowing dress to attract people. Cardboard tombstones covered the lawn, and next to the walkway to the front door was my mother lying in a two piece cardboard coffin vamped out. On the porch was my other Aunt sitting under the green porch light with a swimming cap on her head that was sticking up through an opening of a box made to look like a small card table.

Through the open door was me nearly six feet tall plus 4" platform boots with a small box on my head to simulate a 'Frankenstein-type' character sitting in a lazy-boy waiting for guests. I would beckon them in and show them to the hallway...dark with threads hanging from the ceiling to simulate cobwebs. Then came my grandmother in the kitchen as a cackling witch with a dry iced plastic cauldron chanting some rhyming spells. Then it was finally back to the living room where my young cousin was layed out on an "operating table" and my Uncle (his father) was carving on his ham hock leg with BBQ sauce blood. All the while, Disney's _Sounds from the Haunted House_ LP playing in the background.

So as you can tell...PURE cheese. Even by the standards of 1980 (or so).

Dozens of people, children and adult alike, were scared into stupidity. But the two that will forever standout in my mind were:
1) My schools 'Napoleonic' bully showing up in one of those store-bought vinyl apron and mask costumes, crying his eyes out when I stood up from my chair and lumbered towards the door. Stopping just in front of him, looking down at him and in my deepest pre-pubescent voice said, "come in David. We have been waiting for you." His mother had to hold him in place so we could take a picture for her.
2) A mid-twenties 'tuff-guy' being brave for his girlfriend walking up to my mother's coffin and bending down within a foot of my mother's face and saying those famous last words we haunter's have come to love. "Look honey, it's not real" as he was lowering his hand to touch her face, she bolted up and hissed at him. The brave man literally climbed over his girlfriend and didn't land till he hit the driveway some 6-10 feet away. My aunt on the porch was laughing so hard, that we had to get her out of her box so she could breathe.

Halloween...From that time forward...Has been a happy place in my heart.


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## NOWHINING

paintsaint said:


> Haha im busting up laughing. unfortunately i don't have a good one to add. maybe if i think of one i'll come back
> 
> 
> If a deaf person swore, would you wash there hands out with soap?


Yes the deaf people do washes their hands when the swore. Trust me... =]


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## Nightmare-Dude

Once I was wearing one of my SlipKnoT masks, and I scared my 2 year old cousin, and she wet her pants. I was laughing so hard after that.


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## Wyrmling

Probably the most fun I have had with a trick or treater was this last year. I always go the dummy route so they have to guess whether I am real or not and when they came up to my porch and I gave them a typical little scare. The real fun though was with one boy as he was walking away with his mom and the boy kept telling his mom I was real and she didn't believe him. When he looked back trying to persuade her I slowly crept forward until she turned to look then I froze. This happened two or so more times until I finally let her see me creeping toward them and got a good jump out of her.


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## Moxlonibus

Every Halloween my wife and I go over and beyond in decorating the yard and devise a plan to scare all the trick or treaters. One year I made a coffin and when all the kids went to the door for treats, my wife in her purple and black dress and long black hair, would tell everyone that the candy was in the coffin and help yourself. Of course I was in the the coffin with a skull mask and skeleton gloves. It was funny to hear the kids argue over who was going to open it. Scared the heck out of a few parents too.
Also, we put up a scarecrow every year in the front yard, straw hat, bibber overalls, red and white plaid shirt and skull. One year I put the thing together like usual but took it down Halloween morning and used it as my costume. I will never forget the comment that one of the kids made after she dropped to the ground to catch her breathe, "I tell myself that I am never coming back to this house again, and each year I do."


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## daBOOhouse

Fun thread! Causes all kinds of amusing images and brings back lots of memories. Last year, I had my garage set up as a butcher shop with boxes, guts, limbs, hanging torsos on hooks, wrapped bodies hanging by their feet and me, standing behind a bloody table with a huge rusty cleaver. A group of mixed tot's came in, parents included, about 10 in all, got about halfway across the room, stopped silently and stood there. About 30 seconds later, one little girl about 12 or so, stated "Im done" and started to leave. at that time, one of the parents behind her said "I'm soooo done" and then most of them left, leaving two young boys to get the candy from the bowl in front of me... Throughout the entire time, I never moved... No one went screaming or running but you know they were scared...

Then there's the year we brought home Bloody Mary. Got the vampire bride torso from Big Lots and strapped it into the van seat. My 8yo son who is usually deathly afraid of anything, was talking as always and just got in right beside her. Then he looked over, stopped talking and said "Is she real?" Then, when I got home, rigged her up to rise off my 12 yo daughter's bed when she opened her door. We all stood outside her door talking and waiting for her to go in. She finally had enough talk and opened her door, saw bloody mary rising from her bed and just stood there and shook. Couldn't run, couldn't scream, could only quiver...

I got lots of 'em...


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## Gym Whourlfeld

*Just Last Night ..*

We had a group of nine teens come to the Ravens Grin (We are open every night of the entire year)
Only one of them had ever been here before, they had driven 90 min. to get here.
I did my most infamous kitchen routine which heard all nine of them sighing as it all became silly and ultimately unthreatening, my Wife burst into the room just to tell them that she had never heard such a collective sigh and this act with all the lights on and her not wearing any mask or make up scared several of them!
As we began going through the rest of the house, they were screaming and flinching as my immeadiate "costume" helped scare them alot, making them scream, run and flinch.
My "costume" is mostly me pulling my tee-shirt up, biting it, crossing my eyes, but the lighting is red and dim so they think I'm someone else?
About then we discovered the one youngman was Very Jumpy!
My Wife kept scaring him in silly situations with all the lights on where you normally could not ever begin to scare anyone, even a 3 yr. old! (Of course you could make them cry by taking their pacifier!)
She would simply be standing there and he would turn to see her! (I think she knows how to get around this house after ten years!)
It is quite an ego-boost to scare an adult with extremely minimal means or actions.


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## kingwood asylum

*our funniest scare*

Not our best with the lighting but by far our funniest. So turn up the volume and enjoy. "I thought Phobia Was Bad "is a continuation of those same 2 girls. 












This one is hilarious also and the lighting is better. Hey it's a learning process.


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## Wolfman

"Funniest Scare"? I'd have to go with Michael Jackson's Bedroom, a scenario we did in about 2005. MJ was in all the news broadcasts, his legal issues, and everybody in Samoa was watching that closely. I couldn't resist.
We used the son of a friend of mine as "Michael", The set-up was massive that year, something in the order of 10 rooms. I pretty much left everybody to their own devices, you can't micro-manage a big haunt like that, But everybody was saying, "Wolfman, ya gotta see Kili dance, he's BETTER than Michael Jackson!" I was like, "Yeah, yeah, whatever..." too much stuff going on. But, several times during the night I glanced behind us as I led a group fleeing his bedroom, and Holy Geeze, that kid could dance! He was all dressed up as Michael, wearing a Wacko Jacko mask, all clad in white cotton, under Black Lighting, with the glove, and the white Fedora pulled down low, grabbing his crotch and moonwalking after us, it WAS hilarious!!


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## Gym Whourlfeld

*Michael Jachson.. here too.*

One Halloween a recent and very shy employee here said he wanted to be "Michael Jackson".
We had not a clue as to what this would mean or be coming from someone so quiet.
He had on some clothing and jewelery . ex cetra affecting Michael. Several of we curious were standing out of sight but where we could hear what he might say.
He spoke in a quiet, shy , high voice(not unlike his own, also ala-Michael) One of the displays in that room is "The Last Elvis Impersonator" Elvis in a wheelchair looking physically fairly pathetic and nasty. He said, "Here's the last Elvis impersonator.......it's not very kind to make fun of a dead celebrity."... as he stands there trying to "be" Michael Jackson, who happened to be a dead celebrity!?
Somehow we stifled our laughter and the customers were none the wiser.


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## yblehsspot

I have a pretty funny one, but it depends on the person, if they think its funny or not.
But anyway... When my mom grew up, she spent lots of time working at haunted houses and stuff (including one that they were supossed to get paid on halloween night, for all the work they did all season, but they wern't open on halloween. Hence ripping off all the people that worked there.) So I've grown up my whole life going to haunted houses and stuff. Well I've been taught various tips and hints by her. One of them being, always wearing all black when we go to a haunt. I never understood why, until one time we went to one like 3 years ago. 
We wore all black and the haunt was outside, so it was pretty dark. We walked through and got to this...it was like a corn maze thing, but you had to walk around corn stalks that were tied together and stood straight up. So we were walking through when we suddenly stopped- there was a guy standing right infront of us and he was clearly a haunter. We had practily run into each other. He wasn't watching where he was going and ran right into us. So he jumped back and gave a bit of a scream, before taking his mask off and proceding to talk to us like he knew us. He talked for a bit before akwardly stopping and saying, "You guys don't work here, do ya?" We said no, and he was all "Ohhh.. I am so sorry!" He put his mask on and quickly hightailed it outta there.
He had actually thought we worked there, because of the way we were dressed and how we walked, and also becuase we scared the holy sh*t outta him. XD 
Not a very good story, but everytime I think of it, it makes me laugh. It's one of my favorite stories from a haunt.


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## kprimm

A funny one I had just happened this past year. I had just added my pneumatic zombie to the yard and he was controlled from a central location where I could see the whole yard. Anyway these two kids, probably around 12 to 14 years old were doing the typical, I'm not scared, this isn't scary. A large crowd of people were right around them. As they bent down very close looking at my pneumatic zombie, I knew my time had come for pay back. I hit the controller and that thing roared to life. One kid ran one way and the other kid ran the opposite direction and they ran hard into each other and both plopped down right in front of the zombie on their butts. The zombie continued thrashing and one of them actually started crying. I laughed so hard at them that soon I was crying. I also got another funny one this same year. I have A very large drop spider that hangs right over the front sidewalk and drops very close to their heads. A guy looked up and saw the spider and saw me there by it. He gave me a signal to drop it on his girlfriend. He did A great job distracting her and I dropped it right in front of her. Her scream was heard over the whole yard haunt, she ran out of there fast.


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## Slider

Last year, the guy working the front door of our Haunt was pretty awesome. Being that me and my wife were staffing the last two rooms of the maze, we would often have 2-3 minute breaks between groups of guests. So, we would bolt out of the maze after a group had left, and start working the street.

I had chased this group of kids about a block away from the house, and was turning around to book it back to my room and reset for the next group.

That's when I saw her. Enough to stop me in my tracks and give me the chills. A completely silent, unnervingly creepy actor, my wife and this 15 year old kid were in a good old fashioned staredown in the middle of the cul-de-sac. He'd try to fake her out and run, and she wouldn't move a muscle.

Now, the great thing about working with your wife is the telepathic connection. Without a word, I smiled, and started walking toward the kid. At that point, she lunged forward and the kid took off like a shot, right in my direction. Seeing that his focus was over his shoulder at my wife, I gained pace, and hit a pretty good 20ft slide, and popped up to my feet just in time for him to turn around and end up face to face with me.

He jumped about two feet in the air, did the old Scooby Doo spinny legs in mid-air, and ran sideways... right into the side of our car. I'm still not sure what hurt more, the car, or the fact that 400 ToT's and parents were laughing at him.

And, FYI... that's one dent in the car I'll never have fixed.


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## Antidaeophobia

When I was a kid, my best friend, his twin sisters, his mom and my mom all went out trick or treating. It had been a long night and we were heading towards our last house. We were heading up to the house, his little sisters in front of us and his mom leading a few feet ahead. They had a lot of decorations from a full graveyard to a creepy scarecrow hanging near the porch. Suddenly without warning the scarecrow lunged at us and before my very eyes, my best friends mom shoved her two daughters on the ground and took off running and screaming down the block leaving her children behind. I swear, my best friend, my mom and I laughed till we thought we'd pee while my friends twin sisters just sat on the ground stunned. The guy in the scarecrow outfit was amused but horrified that a mother had shoved her children to the ground so she could get away.
It reminds me of the quote "You're my best friend, but when the zombies attack us I'm tripping you!" LMAO


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## Presto1428

Had a girl run face first into a wall instead of turning right . knocking herself out only to wake up with a face full of monsters saying'' you OK'' ? she hit the wall so hard the paper death certificate she was holding was fused to the wall ? idk how ??


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## Eviliz

Okay... I'll add one. It's funny to me.

Last year we were at a large theme park's Halloween event, and my daughter (age 14 at the time) and I were walking about through one of the foggy zones of spooky stuff, and having a blast. A scare-actor dressed in those sparking knee pads and gloves comes running up at my daughter and skids toward her feet and she squeaks and giggles, not really scared, but startled. She turns around, not aware of how close she's gotten to a bale of hay and proceeds to fall right over it onto the street. The actor immediately comes over and goes 

"Oh God, are you okay, hun?"

To which my daughter hisses under her breath from the ground... "NEVER break character!" Then she got up and pretended to be scared so the guy could save face, and took off out of the foggy area so I could tend to her scraped knee.


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## DannyDanger

This didn't happen to me but I have to share cuz it was great and I wish had happened to me haha

It was my sister, her friend and their daughters. They were trick or treating and they were being chased by a Michael Myers. She said he kept following them and like stalking them just like the real Michael Myers. And they kept running away screaming. It probably wasn't funny to them but to me it sounded hilarious. 

Anyway I wish something like that would happen to me. It was like the Halloween movie come to life! I probably wouldn't really be scared since I know its just a guy in a costume, but it would still be fun to act scared and to be chased by Michael Myers on Halloween night!


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## memphis306

i love these stories.it gives me renewed enthusiasm to get ready for this year.heres a few stories of my own from my yearly one night hayride and one that wasnt intended to be a scare

1.we had one of those little chubby wanna be bad-ass types kids who was trying to act tough by saying things like "i see you over there" to the haunters.so ,i pulled a handfull of guys to the side and told them to just "get 'em". the trailer was a small utility trailer that was wired up with strobes that pointed up towards the kids faces so that they could see each other and the haunters as they got close.well,not only did they "get him",they pulled him completely out kicking and screaming.he found himself out of the "safe" trailer and laying on the ground in pitch black surrounded by a bunch of big guys.we didnt hear a peep out of him the rest of the night.

2.i built a 10' tall stalkaround devil one year for the hayride.the arm span was about 15' and its hands were about 3'x4' pvc and foam.as the ride came up i popped out and the kids started screaming and one little girl was pushing my right hand away from her and they were moving in that direction also,so there was this spring tension building in the long pvc pipe that served as the arm.and before i knew it,she let go and that huge hand slapped the snot out of this other kid almost knocking her out of the trailer.literally the biggest ***** slap ever,i found out later on that both girls were my nieces and we had a good laugh.

3.back in february of this year,i had a pretty intense surgery on my neck.the subsequent swelling was going to block off my airway so the dr cut a traech for me to breath through.after a few days in ICU, i returned home.i was home alone one night and was cleaning the traech of all the blood and just nasty stuff you hock up after a surgery like that when the doorbell rang.so i go to the door.now to set the scene,im 6'4", have a very fresh wound/scar that runs from one side of my neck to the other and looks hideous to say the least and then a huge bloody gaping hole in my throat.GOD must have known i really needed a laugh at this point,because the reaction i got from those mormons had me laughing all night.the one up front literally fell back about 2 feet and his arms swung out to his sides.his right arm hitting the other kid.and since i couldnt talk i just stared at them until they said uh,uh,uh,uh we'll come back


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## Gryphon

Well i dont know what was more funny in my story the scare or what happened after. My aunt had asked me to haunt her house so i did it all up with everything i had. went inside on halloween did the makeup and costume and stood in the yard not moving. some kid dressed as Darth vader walked up and i jumped out. the kid screamed then proceeded to beat me with his lightsaber. whats worse is the kids sister (probably about 5) dressed up like a princess walks right up to me and says i like your costume and your makeup is really pretty too. Made me feel great. first beaten by darth then complimented by his sister. fun times.


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## stealth_eagle

It's not relly a scare on halloween but I brought my kids into Spirit my 8 year old son was terrified of the juming spider and even mre so of the bloody marry mirror almost in tears trying to bring him up to it but thenm I am waling around with my 2 year old daughter the spider jumpd put she gives it a hug she looks at the zombie babys and says ohh cute 
have I already desencatized her to this


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## Haunted Nana

Those are the funniest kinds of scaring someone when it back fires on you.ROTFLMAO too good DivineTorments.LOL


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## Ravenous222

I still laugh every time I watch this one.


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## The-Dullahan

I terrify everyone at Halloween and do it for fun for the rest of the year too (Best job ever)

Every so often, someone emails me a web link and I find some more humour that had ensued from my every day life. Living in a tourist area and collecting classic cars, results in a nonstop stream of appreciators, particularly when some of your cars aren't just regular classics and you specialize as a Funeral Coach historian and enthusiast. I always find videos or funny stories on people's blogs about the time they saw me at a petrol station or at Lowe's. A more recent find of mine is this. The comments were rather funny and apparently, "made my sister's day"

http://imgur.com/gallery/xcEib

The speaker comment was incidentally rather accurate, but the inner perfectionist in me can't help but notice this was the day after the repaint on one of the doors and the chrome trim had not been put back on yet.


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## Gym Whourlfeld

Last October a group was seeing the kitchen here. I asked for one volunteer, "Who would like to ask" Nosferato-Santa" what they want for Christmas? Maybe the "bad" Santa will bring you what you want if the good one didn't?
"Santa" is a latex bust of a Halloween character with a flimsey Santa beard and pointy red cap on, pulled down over an ironing board setting on end, leaning against the stove in the corner.
As she began to whisper, Santa came to life!!?
she screamed, and then jumped straight up, curled her body into a ball and finished out her complete back-flip by landing on the floor on both feet, rather shakey but unhurt.
All the room lights were "on", excellant visibility for everyone.
It was AMAZING!
(She was maybe 17 to 18 yrs, old, a shorter girl, athletic, I would say..)


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## Gym Whourlfeld

*One From The Vault..*

Many years ago a local young man was visiting my haunted house regularly (I'm open every night of the year)BUT , he had begun a very bad practise of exposing the show's scares to anyone, everyone in any group that he happened to be in!
(I refer to this oddity as "The Good Scout compulsion", he's "Helping" everyone avoid getting scared, "Whata Guy!")
Asking him not to do this only slowed him down slightly.
So there were we in my kitchen. He was standing next to a girl from away from here he didn't know, who was a few inches taller than he was. I activated the Micro-waved Hampster, it began it's entrance exercises coming into the room, then it did it's "Trick" of suddenly turning towards everyone and rising up at the same time!
The girl's reaction was to scream, jump, throw her right arm out to her side, Smacking Mr. Compulsive Good Scout, right across his mouth, sending him backwards quickly to the floor!
("Mister Butt, meet Mr. Floor!")
It could not have happened any better then if I had put a "contract" out on him!
Problem... solved!
I had been an unexpected witness to a vengeful act, and I was the only one that knew it had been such.


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## Gym Whourlfeld

Here are two from "The vault". The first just a practical joke with abuse!
The building to the east of my haunt was built to be a Ford Model "T" garage, by 1940 it was a Chevy garage and "Elmer" was a body man working there. (Elmer had many "adventures because he wasn't very sober, very often until he was maybe 60 years old!)
The small auto garage across the street to the west had no plumbing but the mechanic that ran it did have a female bookkeeper who needed a bathroom every day, so across the narrow street she would come to "borrow" the Chevy garage's toilet.
There was a hairline crack in the bathroom door, just big enough to "spy" through. Elmer was peeking as the Bookkeeper sat down. Elmer's "job" was to make sure she was sitting, then to give the signal to the other man to throw the switch which would then send a fair amount of Dc current from the Model "T" coil to the small wires expertly hidden on the toilet seat.
Elmer signaled and as quick as current going through a copper wire, the bookkeeper shot up and off the seat, hit the door, knocking Elmer flat on his back as she kicked and slapped Elmer voraciously! (Payment)

When Elmer was too "sick" (alcohol poisoning) to show up for a full day's work in the body shop, he would come in and pull a curtain in the window partualy over his business sigh that said:"The Paint Shop" to make it read:"The aint Shop!"
Elmer was deathly afraid of... goats. One of Elmer's late days, some of the other guys brought a goat to the Chevy garage, led it up the steps to the second floor parts attic then closed the big , heavy wooden trap door that was controlled via a pulley and rope with counter weights to not allow it to totally slam down.
Elmer finally showed up for work. 
"Elmer, go upstairs and see if we have a /=98476 part up there?"
Elmer climbed the stairs, pushed open the trap door, looked up and the guys had went the extra half-mile by putting a Halloween mask on the goat, which the goat didn't appreciate and was violently shaking his head back and forth attempting to shake free of it!
So.. not only was Elmer afraid of goats to begin with but now he had a fully, wacky, animated version looking right at him from the catbird seat above him from a very near distance!
Elmer let out a yell! , Fell backwards down the stairs, knocking himself unconscious! (Cheaper than alcohol?)


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## Gym Whourlfeld

*A Patron's Scare-Quite Impressive!*

The man was about 38 yrs. old a Black man who worked a TV camera for a Tv station 65 miles from here, quite a scare he put together too!
He made an inflatable appendage that blended right into his neck in it's deflated position. He had a small compressed air canister hooked up to the facial device via a very small flexible tube and a valve hidden in his pocket to activate it.
His first victim was a bartender in a quiet establishment:"Oh, I shouldn't have had that drink... I don't feel so good....oh, oh .. oh..The Bar keep was watching closely now, inquiring as to his general health as the man , clutching his neck is bobbing and weaving on the bar stool and his neck swells, and swells looking like a Bull frog!
He earned quite the reaction from the bar man, but the best one was yet to come!
He attended a party that night and was talking with two women when the "curse" struck him again!
moaning, holding his neck the women were concerned at first, then terrified!
So much so that they scaled a five foot high cyclone fence!!
He was pretty proud of his horrific device that he had built, and well he should be!


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## Gym Whourlfeld

A few years ago a group of 8 couples were in my front room, one man had been here before and everything that I said or did, everything he looked at in my house made him laugh, non-stop like a total lunatic!
(Gets on one's nerves after awhile)
Since he had been here before, I asked him if he would like to go down into the wine cellar first, by himself for awhile?
He did, he went, I had found some modicum of "peace".
As the rest of us all arrived in the wine cellar I noticed that this man was now a totally "different" person. No more laughing, just staring straight ahead a "frozen" face.
As we all were leaving the house at the exit 15 minutes later I had to ask him, "Is something wrong?"
He said, "I haven't seen a ghost since I was ten years old!"
Then he went on to describe "The Lady In White"!
"She floated out of her corner about four feet above the ground, just looking at me for awhile, then she turned her head away, turned her body away, then it looked as if she was walking up a flight of stairs as she disappeared into a solid rock wall..and that's when I got Scared! Because all the rest of the way through the house I felt as if she was right behind me all the way!"
This no special effect.
When I was trying to buy this house many elderly citizens here told me it was "Haunted" and that I should not buy it because of that reason.
They all said in 1925 they tried to have a speakeasy tavern in the wine cellar but it failed because of the continued reappearances of .. a lady in a white dress, who kept showing up and scaring away the drinkers....
No Fiction Here.
Real scare !


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## The-Dullahan

It's always nice to make someone piss their pants.

Seriously. Pumpkin guts and watermelons...throwing a car out of a plane? If someone so much as touched one of my cars, they would pull back a bloody stump. Any damage, I could fix and repair, I built them from the ground up anyhow, but seriously. "Do what you want with a man, but do not **** with his Cadillac."

Good scares? Well, I have the idiots who peer around my Hearse if I go shopping and see my zombie in the window (Occasionally, this makes it to Youtube from one of their friends) or the woman who made it all the way through my yard one year to the front door to get candy, only because her friends dragged and at one point, lifted and carried her. Now after she got her candy and realized I was not only real (My particular costume choices often seem so impossible to be real actors, I abuse this fact and stand still, pretending to be another prop) but somehow right behind her, she ran screaming. Now at the first turn, a right angle where my path goes around the house, I had a pneumatic coffin facing back, (Always scare them coming AND going) and when that went off, she turned to run back...but I was even closer now, so she hesitated, ran around the coffin, right off the path, through a huge spiderweb net, got caught, found her way around it, somehow not falling over and into two more props on her way out. As she ran from the front of the yard at complete random, screaming and popping out unexpectedly, she scared the other ten or so people still out by the road as she ran between them, her friends all still by the front door, laughing hysterically. I bet she wet herself. I try to make sure it happens at least a couple times a year.


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## chinclub

My story has nothing to do with Halloween. First let me say that we live in South Carolina where there were no armadillos. Over the last few years we are seeing more and more. Our first experience was when one got into our back yard because a child left the gate open. It dug a big hole and stayed in it all day. At night it would ruin my back yard as they dig a lot! So one night my hubby sees it and decides to get it out of the fence. He goes out with nothing but a flash light. When he shines the light it freezes. Now he is stuck with the realization that he has no idea how to approach this thing. Will it bite, will it claw, could he just herd it out the gate?

In a moment of great male wisdom he decides to put a bucket over it. This will certainly solve the problem!...Ok, at this point I need to add that it is 1 in the morning and my hubby is in nothing but boxer shorts. So, where were we.... Oh, yes, my brave, scantily clad hubby braving 'catching' a wild armadillo by covering it with a bucket. Are you picturing the scene?? He is so proud of his accomplishment. He looks to me for my awe and approval of his manly ability. Recap, guy in undies, armadillo under bucket... At this point the armadillo begins to race around under the bucket. The bucket begins to "chase" my husband, who then begins to let out the most girly screams I have ever heard as he runs wildly around the backyard from the dangerous man-eating bucket!

All this time we have been filling out haunts with skeletons and zombies. All we really need to do it make a moving bucket and the brave men of the world will run screaming like girls!! If only I had a video camera that night!!


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## Gym Whourlfeld

Three young soldiers , Desert Storm Vets, wanted to spend the night in my wine cellar (it's haunted) One of these young men and his sister had been very good customers of my haunted house, so I begrudgingly allowed them, they deposited their sleeping bags in the wine cellar, I left, went upstairs. A few scant minutes later they were up stairs, saying:"We can't stay down there because "Something" is down there!" (They had just been bragging about laying in mud as the real enemy bullets whizzed over their heads!)
So, they left.
This was THE one time I have ever faked something possibly "supernatural" to scare someone away or anything.
I had pulled a cheap little tape player up into the 11 by 11 inch vent hole in the center of the 12 foot high stone arch ceiling. When any sound comes from this location it echos and bounces around the room, seeming to come from various locations.
In the tape player I had put a 5 minute long loop-tape.
Once every five minutes they would hear a sound sort of like ......"eh!"
That was it!
So if you ever need to scare a bunch of big, bad soldiers just go, "Eh!"
The things they Don't teach you in basic!
hahahaha!
I do believe , that "Less" is "More".(Allowing the imagination to kick into gear and then, away we go!)


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## jimmy666

i used to have a black cat called salem and he would follow me everywhere i'd go, even took a shower with me. he showed up on night at my door and never left. at night he jumped on a sort of a toyboy behind the bed and stare, only thing you could see where his eyes. always attacked my ex girlfriends feet when she was asleep, never when she was awake. when people came up to me and wanted to shake my hand he sometimes attacked them. not really scary story, but kinda fun having a cat like that being all black and choosing me instead of me choosing him.


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## Helena Handbasket

I have a very sweet, friendly black lab who can't resist saying hello to kids, so Halloween is a big test for his manners. A couple years ago on Halloween, I had a huge group of kids on my porch and lawn. I was handing out candy, so both hands were busy, and I was using my foot to hold Elvis back. He got past me, scooted out the door, and went down the porch steps to see what was going on. He was carrying his bone, standing in the yard, waiting for one of these kids to notice him or drop some candy. Well, someone did notice him and screamed bloody murder: "THERE'S A BIG BLACK DOOOOOOOOOOOG!!!!!" The next few minutes consisted of screaming and kids running in all directions. When the crowd cleared, poor Elvis was still standing on the lawn with his bone, looking at me like "where'd everybody go?"


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## jimmy666

damn, just scared stiff here. watching horrormovie, clock strikes midnight in the movie, watch my clock and it is midnight here. and right after my wooden sealing makes a hard creeking noise like someone is walking around upstairs. damn i love that feeling on my back, lol


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## awokennightmare

Awesome thread! I'm enjoying very much!


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## CemeteryGirl

had to love reading through all of these! and now i gotta share some of my stories. one is about my uncle and aunt, the other two are all me.

alright, so my uncle Ted and aunt Linda are one of those cool crazy couples that i relate very well to. they go gaga over Halloween! and they have the most amazing movie collection. well one night, they finally get the watch the Grudge. apparently it was so scary for my uncle, he couldn't even finish the movie! so they go to bed, everything is fine. until my aunt has to get up to use the bathroom. now this is the set up. my uncle is stone dead deaf. and he usually takes his hearing aides out at night. also, my aunt is VERY skinny, pretty pale, with this slightly raggedy mostly black/dark grey hair that often frames her face.

well she gets this wicked idea to scare my uncle. she starts crawling up the bed from the foot of it. this naturally wakes up my uncle, and he has no idea what the heck is going on. so of course he lifts the blankets up. all he can see is darkness, and this white face under the blankets! he screams "holy sh!t!" and LEAPS out of the bed, and runs out of the bedroom. the result? my aunt laughing her *** off, and me doing the same when i heard the story.

this was a minor occurence that had nothing to do with Halloween, but that i take quite peverse pleasure in. when i was in high school, i took drama class. naturally, it was held in the auditorium. well one morning we come in, and every single light is off. obviously, someone forgot to turn them on! i'm personally thrilled, because it's nice and dark and i love that. of course, i can't resist going up on stage, and going to one side of the wings. i loop around the back to the other side, enjoying this new experience, when i see some of the younger girls coming onto stage. i'm feeling VERY phantom of the opera by now, and just stand by the curtains watching them. of course unknowingly, the girls walk towards me, until one of them looks forward. she sees me, screams very loudly, and her and her friend turn and run to the edge of the stage, jumping off and running to the others. i preceeded to snicker over it for the rest of class. XD

and finally, my favorite event of the year. i go to Howl-o-Scream, which is a theme park event. one year(which i will never repeat!!) i unfortunately invited my sister and her family to come with me. of course, i got there before them because i had the Fright Feast. so i'm walking around, enjoying the park a bit before sunset. for some reason, i have to turn and go back the way i came, so i do. ahead of me is a family with a father,mother and two girls i think. and i can hear one of the girls talking about the little underpass place you walk through to get to a ramp. she's terrified someone is hiding there, and she knows they are going to jump out and scare her! she keeps looking around scared.

now having walked through the area already, i know none of the scare actors are there and are probably still getting ready. but i simply cannot resist someone saying aloud they're scared already from nothing! so, being too wicked for my good....i run right up behind the girls, and SCREAM at the top of my lungs! they both scream and dart forward a little and look at me, while i have this guilty wicked grin on my face and i start laughing. thankfully, they start laughing too. however, i was able to do it a second time after a few minutes, just before they got to the ramp, once again scaring them with a simple scream. the only good part of my night i still remember so fondly.^^


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## bfright

Nothing like customers sh__ their pants to get everyone going.


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## Spookwriter

To begin this one, you have to understand who I am... a semi-professional
horror writer. 

My daughter grew up with this : it's all she's ever known me to do. Several dummies
on display year around...strobe lights in all the rooms. 15 acre woods here, a lot of
props stay out year round. Her friends love coming over...this is like her private
playground.

So one day, my daughter and some of her friends were going to "explore" the woods.
They were by the hobo camp and then to the ancient indian burial grounds. My one
rule is DON'T BOTHER THE GRAVES. Makes the spirits angry.

Now the hobo camp and the burial ground are away from the open Halloween part
of my land. A part of my private world. My daughter, of course, had been there many
times with me. Her friends, never. But they had heard my daughters stories of the place.

Anyway, off we went into the woods. And in the "sacred indian burial ground" the kids
found the bones of some wild animal that had died. Just bones. 

I told the girls not to bother them.

But...they laughed and didn't listen to my words. I told them they would anger the Spirits.

A few minutes, and we went on towards the hobo's camp.

And the skull they had laughed at, poked with a stick...it followed.

The skull...it followed us on the rest of the walk. (I'm a very sneaky dad.)
The girls began to get nervous after a bit...that skull was THERE. Everywhere
they turned. Again and again, I pressed upon them...do not anger the spirit-gods.

So they walked the long way home, to avoid the graveyard. Taking no more
chances now...

We got home, the skull was forgotten. It was girl-party time...

It began to get dark that night...dusk...just light enough to see outside. And
the girls were in the bedroom...facing the woods, the trail to the burial grounds...

One of them looked out the window...and saw the skull coming slowly across the
yard. Ever so slowly, the skull was coming for them...(By now I had the lightening
machines on, lighting up the yard. I could hear the girls screaming) (I was on top of
the house, had tied that skull to a fishing pole and was reeling him in.)

When the skull stopped, it was midway in my daughters bedroom window. 

Looking at them...

Those girls were beyond being scared that night. To the point of where
even my daughter wanted to move away...that was a serious scare. 
Funny as it was, I wouldn't do that to anybody again for the world.

But it was funny once.


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## Gym Whourlfeld

I no longer "Scare" away from my haunted house because of an unexpected reaction from what I wrongly assumed would , should have been a very quick, stupid startle not a scream-fest of psycho proportions!
A girlfriend asked Me to pay her house a visit, i said I could not make it.
I smeared some cruddy old clown make up on my face, just black & white, it looked like nothing, just messy and very stupid (just like a real serial-killer would do?)
Her house is very small. I slid into her tiny kitchen as she and her teenage Daughter watched TV in the next room just a few feet away. I slid down between her stove and refrigerator and began emitting random, odd noises that bore no audio relationship to anything I am aware of.
She finally told her Daughter she was going to see what was going on in her Kitchen, the Daughter seemed very unconcerned (the TV was "On"!)
My Girlfriend came into this very tiny room , turned on the light ,saw nothing until I raised up slowly from the only possible hiding place in the small excuse for a room. I had my mouth open as I was squinting my eyes, trying to look like anyone else sort of "Hissing" as I came up.
She began screaming and would not stop!
Her Child came around the corner then, saw me and also began screaming as if their very lives were in mortal danger! On and on they screamed!
I could not believe this was happening at all!?
Nobody had any "Fun", least of all me, the perpetraitor.


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## Gym Whourlfeld

Someone once asked me if I would wear a very hideous costume I had made, hide in a weekend rental cabin's attic and scare this man's "Friend?"
Besides being hideous, it is also very other-worldly looking featuring several large , long "horns" coming from the head, a white face with way too many teeth.
There were black shoulders with circular fins (Sheet metal covered with inner-tube rubber) There were elbow horns (latex).
There was an exposed belly featuring a skull and other things not digested yet and open for view. It was a top-of-the-head-to floor costume.
Scaring some stranger to their death ("Bad" Heart?) or meeting my death as a gun is fired at me mid-scare are not things I wish to ever be a part of.


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## Gym Whourlfeld

For a minimal fee I did wrap up in a black cape, put on a good-looking skullmask , taking my huge head-chopper and then appeared at the local school Superintendant's office to wish him a "Happy" Birthday, from his friends (the underlings)
He WAS NOT "HAPPY" with this little prank and memory of how ancient he was becoming.
He was much more "Mad" at them than at me, since I was just the Lacky myself.


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## Gym Whourlfeld

My Funniest Scares happen all the time for me. My haunt is open every night of the year and I get to laugh well and often for various reasons:
The macho-He-man jumping like he was shocked by electricity but I just surprised him with a shred of a 50 year-old mask my Mother bought when I was a kid!
Almost nothing really left of the mask , except a shank of black, curly hair , which I run up the corner as they near it, possibly imitating some incredible wild critter?
I recently did this silly gag and had a home haunter customer bouncing quickly from side to side off the opposing walls trying to somehow possibly escape the evil ball of terribly ancient furr.
I usually do contain myself at the moment of the fun and chuckle later after they are driving away to go home, or the next morning as I am walking up the street I might laugh then too.
Then,.. I might laugh a few more times..


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## DavyKnoles

Okay the funniest scare I've ever seen was in the Factory of Fears maze during the Shipwreck Halloween event aboard the Queen Mary in Long Beach California. I was working in the maze that year, hiding behind a corner looking for fresh victims. Around the corridor comes this six-foot two, buffed out, shaved-headed total bad-*** looking black dude and his five-foot three girlfriend. The guy had a look on his face like he'd just pick up and bench press any monster that tried to scare him. I figured he was pointless, but I might get the girl, so I launched out around the corner rattling my shaker can and gave them my absolute best and loudest maniacal ghoul laugh as I came. To my absolute shock, surprise and delight, the dude recoils in horror, squeals like a ten-year old GIRL, then picks up his date and holds her in front of him like a shield. She turns around immediately and slaps the crap out of him and then storms away. All the way down the corridor you could hear his voice saying "Come on baby...I didn't mean it..." I managed to sneak through a door out of the maze where I was laughing so hard I stated coughing. Unbelievable!


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## Gym Whourlfeld

Being open every night of the entire year allows me incredible opportunities to really take all the time in the world to scare someone...to be totally effective you have to have a lot more "time" than most October-Only haunts usually get.
I tell them the haunted history of this house, all true, not made up by me or anyone else. The first room, the front room is where this mostly happens before the tour moves into the well lit areas,, of course scaring people with all the bright lights "ON" Really catches people off-guard!
Tell a good, true story well, in the dark by a small flashlight, then turn off the light .. shuffle so incredibly slowly toward them one step at a time with varying intervals of time between those steps, getting ever . closer and closer....silence is your ally indulge well within it.....just be sure and wear a pair of shoes that will have no trouble making an easily audible sound as you drag those feet across the carpeting.... and then......"What?"
To each his own.


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