# Am I Back??>>>Perhaps or Perhaps Not!



## Muffy (Sep 25, 2006)

Well this is my 3rd attempt to try & make a comeback here in the great halloween Forum. This is the place that motivates me so much to keep trying to get well.

This round the last 9 months has left me weaker & sicker than ever before. Right now I can hardly stand on my feet at all. Pain is 24/7 with no hope that there is some pain medication out there that is gonna work for me. Neurologist just keeps telling me I'm an unusual case. Great ....we have tried so many pain medications & truly some have left horrendous scars on my body.

For me when a medication makes me sick, which has proved to be most of them, I can't just stop taking it & whatever the problem was goes away. I suffer for weeks or months just trying to get the nerves to settle down from me taking this med they did not like.

Thats my nerves, they live in a world of their own. They don't like anything, food, when I get excited, when I get stressed or when I practice the art of experimenting with different drugs from the doc. And boy do they let me know how mad they are.

The disease is in its phase of crippling me now. Most of my day is spent in bed needing help sometimes to walk to the bathroom. I have no balance & the guys hate when I try to make it to the basement because they are afraid I'm gonna fall.

I'm learning to be more careful of things I always took for granted like running out the front door & down the steps, trying to actually walk around Walmart, no more baths in my big deep whirlpool tub, no more mall trips, i can't drive anymore, bending over to pet my dog....yup almost fell right over on my head. Muscles are deteriorating in my legs & the disease is spreading. Its in my hands now too!

Still I refuse to give up altho I have had to give everything else up even cleaning house.

I miss cooking & baking.

I felt it all slipping away from me this last Halloween & thats why I slowly disappeared from the forum. As "IT" got worse I started becoming embarressed. I had a great Halloween but a lot was not finished so I'll try once again to get more done for this year.

I'm trying something different now & have quit letting the doctors medicate the hell out of me.
Joined the YMCA. I got a trial membership just to see if I could get out of bed & get down there into the pool. WIth the pain raging I did it so I bought the membership. Gonna give myself till Sept. to see If I get in that pool & walk if I can get some strenght back. Gonna start very slow on the circuit. Gotta lose some weight & get a mind set that I won't give up.

I need to do this or there won't be any Halloween at my house any more. There is just to much to do & Jerry can't do it all. Last year he went on vacation & was gone Nov. & Dec.. There was nobody to put up my xmas decorations. I was lost, just lost. First time in 52 yrs. I had no decorations.

Halloween & Xmas are a major part of my life but as you all know we can't expect others to have that passion like we do. I know I must find a way to heal myself or these days are over for me.


Haunt On
the Muffster


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## halloween71 (Apr 22, 2007)

Oh muffy what is wrong?
I have missed you on here.I didn't relize you were sick I saw a post once but thought you had the flu.A BIG HUG coming your way with ALL THE WELL WISH'S anyone could send coming to you.Get better!!!


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## MsMeeple (Aug 21, 2004)

Hey Muffy, sorry to hear that you've been going thru such a difficult time. I can appreciate what you have to say about the pain. Have experienced that myself. Hope you find a way to deal with it so you can continue celebrating your favorite holidays. Send me a PM if you ever want or need to talk about it.


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## Lauriebeast (Oct 26, 2003)

Aw sweetie, this truly breaks my heart. I'm so, so sorry you have to endure all this pain and misery. We all go through phases of difficulty and this one for you is certainly a doozie! Please know you're in my thoughts and prayers daily.

Love and hugs,
Laurie


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## Terra (Sep 23, 2007)

It's wonderful to see you posting again  I pray you find a way to get past the crippling pain soon.


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## bethene (Feb 12, 2007)

oh, Muffy, I am so sorry, I have had pain before, so can some what relate, but sounds like you have it bad, I wish there was something to help, please don't stay away from the halloween forum or even the christmas, you need the interaction of friends, and don't be embarrassed by your decorating, or lack of, no matter what, we are here for you, go to off topic on Christmas fan club, and vent away, we all do it, and support each other.I don't know what exactly is going on, but goo luck with the YMCA thing, and pm me any time if you just need a friend or a shoulder to lean/cry on!!


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