# Candy corn rant, by Lewis Black



## Reynard Muldrake

Heheh...

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The worst thing about Halloween is, of course, candy corn. It's unbelievable to me. Candy corn is the only candy in the history of America that's never been advertised. And there's a reason. All of the candy corn that was ever made was made in 1911. And so, since nobody eats that stuff, every year there's a ton of it left over. And the candy corn company sends the guys to the villages and they collect out of the dumpsters all the candy corn we've thrown away. They wash it!! They wash it!

I'll never forget the first time my mother gave me candy corn. She said, "Here - Lewis, this is candy corn. It's corn that tastes like candy". [high pitched sound] This tastes like crap! And every year since then, Halloween has returned and I, like an Alzhiemer's patient, find myself in the room, and the room has a big table in it, and on the table is a bowl of candy corn. And I look at it as if I've never seen it before. "Candy corn", I think. "Corn that tastes like candy. I can't wait". Son of a *****!!

-- comedian Lewis Black, from The Daily Show


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## Spooky Chuck

Candy Corn is evil!!!


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## frightmaster

So is frightmaster and yet I am oh so LOVED. I love candy corn too. Maybe it feeds the evilness. I guess something has to fill the hole where my conscience used to be.


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## ragdoll_sally

Personally, I rather enjoy Candy corn. Just not in extremly large quantities in one sitting. Acctually I'm like that with most candy... I need healthy food. But anyway, each person has his or her own opinion... more candy corn for me and frightmaster, i guess.


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## Skulkin

Mmmm...brown candy corn - chocolate flavored, in extremely large quantities in one sitting. Mmmm.


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## Hauntiholik

mmmm chocolate candy corn. I had to ration them out so they'd last...LOL I guess that wasn't necessary since they don't go bad.


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## TommyHawk

So which would you pick - a bowl full of fresh, wonderful candy corn or a king size Snickers?


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## skrew2nite

Candy corn or snickers??????? Thats a tough call. 
I personal like twix you cant beat a 2 for 1 with candy bars! I guess kit kats would work also but they arent as long or as thick as a regular candy bar but they are a 4 for 1 . 
A side note mounds and almond joys don't count as a 2 for 1 because they are so small but oh so good. 
Well NOW I gotta run to the store and grab some snickers,almond joys, kit kats, twix, and if they have it.....CANDY CORN!!!!!


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## ragdoll_sally

hmmm... As much as I love Candy Corn, i would have to go with Snickers there... mmm chocolate.


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## frightmaster

CANDY CORN all the way. For all those who chose the Snickers or inserted thier own, I will take your candy corns too. And people wonder why I do not sleep. I am on a candy corn high.


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## Shadojack

Candy Corn. 90% sugar, 10% food coloring. Whats not to like?


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## Mr Unpleasant

Nothing like Lewis Black live....Here's the Candy Corn Rant (RealPlayer)

http://www.backnblack.com/Real media files/Lewis_CCP_02.rm


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## Wolfman

Odd that this should come up. Just yesterday my daughter Valerie and I were at ACE to pick up some Fire Extinguishers for a job I'm just finishing. At the Check=out Counter (where else?) Valerie spied bags of Candy Corn. I said, "You sure Baby? It's ALL sugar." She's 6 years old. Needless to say, we got a bag. Half a mile away from ACE, she couldn't stand the sight of it anymore, we stopped and gave the rest to some kids going home from School.
Candy Corn - Tooth Decay City.


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## frightmaster

Candy Corn = BLISS in Hell.


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## DavyKnoles

Okay, I'm ready to dodge the stones that are likely to be thrown at my head but...

I ABSOLUTELY LOVE CANDY CORN!

In fact it is my number one favorite candy. There aren't many stores that sell Candy Corn after Halloween, except for Publix (a popular supermarket chain in Florida) and even they don't have it all the time. So I stock up on it during the Halloween season and especially on the after Halloween candy sales. The honey they use in making this colorful candy gives it such an unusual flavor I find it hard to understand why most of you dislike it so much. But as has been said before, that just means there's more for me!


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## Savage Night

Candy corn is okay, in small doses. The chocolate candy corn is much better.


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## Lord Homicide

I used to listen to comedians on my Slacker Radio app and Lewis Black would cycle through. I almost wet my britches the first time I heard this skit. Classic


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## Yodlei

Mix it with Planters spanish peanuts & tastes just like a Payday candy bar. 

Also, whichever way....has to be very fresh!!!


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## bobby2003

Just the other day I was shopping at a local supermarket and one of the managers was going to each person at checkout and giving them a free bag of candy corn for Black Friday. He gets to me and I look at him an tell him "No thanks. I don't want candy corn even if it's free". Me, him, and the cashier had a good laugh, then he moved onto someone else.


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## HauntedGarden

DavyKnoles said:


> Okay, I'm ready to dodge the stones that are likely to be thrown at my head but...
> 
> I ABSOLUTELY LOVE CANDY CORN!
> 
> In fact it is my number one favorite candy. There aren't many stores that sell Candy Corn after Halloween, except for Publix (a popular supermarket chain in Florida) and even they don't have it all the time. So I stock up on it during the Halloween season and especially on the after Halloween candy sales. The honey they use in making this colorful candy gives it such an unusual flavor I find it hard to understand why most of you dislike it so much. But as has been said before, that just means there's more for me!


I'm totally with you DavyKnoles. I love the honey flavor in the candy corns. I love everything about CCs - the smell brings back memories of Fall and Halloween right around the corner, the taste brings back childhood memories of hiding behind the couch in the makeshift "cave" with sheets and chairs with a flash light to scare off monsters. The texture of candy corn is nice too, kind of waxy and smooth but not too waxy. It's December, and I'm craving some right now!


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