# Costume Mandatory



## melissa (Jul 23, 2004)

I should add: some people took their costumes for this party really seriously. One guy shaved his head two years in a row for his very elaborate costumes. 

The person with not a lot of imagination in this dept. (me) won part of best "couple" two years in a row. The first time, I went stag, as a vampire, and won half of best couple with another vamp. That was weird, because his date was a great "vampire victim," with long white gown, ribbon in her hair, etc. The next year, two friends and I went as the Sanderson sisters (Hocus Pocus) and won "best couple."


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## DeadTed (Aug 12, 2007)

I haven't hosted many parties, but I'm a big advocate of mandatory costumes.

I guess for me, I find it really helps break the ice for the shy folks. I have a few friends who would normally just sit quietly and not bother to socialize, but because they have to dress up, it sparks good conversation that would otherwise not take place.

Also, I feel it makes folks enjoy the party more. Instead of someone just saying to themselves, "well... I'll just show up for a minute and leave." they've actually got to put _some_ time and effort to come. Which, hopefully, means they 'commit' to the party -- meaning not just ditch out in 10 minutes. They stay, enjoy themselves, enjoy others costumes (like you said, you get a some folks that get creative and really spark entertainment with their costume), and it's Halloween - no one should ever complain about having to wear a costume for this.

If they do, they probably won't be any fun anyway


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## Magickbean (Dec 6, 2007)

I always make my Halloween parties costume mandatory and I put on the invitations - "no costume, no entry".. I entice them with the possibility of lots of prizes and I help my less-costume-inclined friends to compose their outfits or just give them ideas of what to wear. All my friends watch me making bits of my costume for the 4 months or so leading up to Halloween and they know how much it means to me...they also know better than to turn up without a costume, unless they want to be made up to look ridiculous in the accessories/facepaint that I have on standby, or simply turned away at the door 

One of my best friends is pretty good at enforcing the rule for me as well - she runs around a couple of weeks before making sure people have costumes and if they don't, ensuring that they will buy/make one. I think I have lost guests in the past that didn't come because they couldn't be bothered to dress up, but I would rather them not come if they can't put the effort in. All I ask is for my guests to dress up - and considering the amount of money and time I put into these parties to entertain my friends on this special occassion, I don't think that it's a lot to ask for them to pop down to Asda and pick up a 99p witch hat and wear black, or even put on a sheet and cut two eyeholes in it for goodness' sake! Also, my OH abhors dressing up and even _he_ gets into costume for the night.. so if he can do it - anyone can! 

This rule is so important to me because I think costumes really help to create the atmosphere of a Halloween party and as others have said, it makes guests invest a little of their own time and effort into their place at the party. It helps people really cut lose and get into the spirit of the Halloween games we play and I just love seeing what people come up with for their costume ideas, and rewarding them with prizes. Plus it makes for awesome photographs and I'm an avid scrapbooker


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## melissa (Jul 23, 2004)

Does anyone ever try coming in regular clothes and saying they're coming as themselves, a computer programmer, etc. (someone that doesn't require a costume)? Or one of those t-shirts that says "this is my costume"?

Really good points about them making a little effort, considering how much you put in. I, too, would rather people stay home if a coordinated outfit and a cheesy hat is too much work.


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## Magickbean (Dec 6, 2007)

melissa said:


> Does anyone ever try coming in regular clothes and saying they're coming as themselves, a computer programmer, etc. (someone that doesn't require a costume)? Or one of those t-shirts that says "this is my costume"?



lol I don't think anyone has the guts to do that at my party - unless they wanted to be pinned to the floor and painted on


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## Bilbo (Mar 8, 2007)

melissa said:


> I should add: some people took their costumes for this party really seriously. One guy shaved his head two years in a row for his very elaborate costumes.


A couple of friends of ours also host a costume mandatory party every year and she will throw a dirty sheet over your head ala Charlie Brown ghost if you show up without. 

Last year the host went so far as to shave off his own eyebrows for his costume. I have no idea what he was supposed to be, but that's just one step farther than I would ever go. I would shave my head... my hair grows back pretty fast.


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## melissa (Jul 23, 2004)

Bilbo said:


> A couple of friends of ours also host a costume mandatory party every year and she will throw a dirty sheet over your head ala Charlie Brown ghost if you show up without.
> 
> Last year the host went so far as to shave off his own eyebrows for his costume. I have no idea what he was supposed to be, but that's just one step farther than I would ever go. I would shave my head... my hair grows back pretty fast.


I don't remember his other costumes, but the one that blew me away was Shaft. It was supposed to be a big secret, but I found out somehow. When this tall, bald, black guy walked in, all I could think was, "well, isn't S. going to be pissed. Someone stole his costume." Turns out, he'd shaved his head and had a fantastic makeup job.

Love the dirty sheet idea!


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## BadTableManor (Sep 8, 2007)

The first year that we threw a Halloween party, it was mostly for the kids, and we didn't require costumes for the parents. BORING! 
I now strongly enforce the "Costume Required" code, and try to sweeten the deal by offering prizes for best costume, and even include costume ideas in the invite. Some peeps didn't like the idea, so they didn't come, no biggie. 
I've only had one person who showed up un-costumed, and they really seemed to feel out-of-place and soon left.


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## LV Scott T (Aug 14, 2007)

Our party has 3 rules, and Rule #1 is "You must be in costume".

In 2001, we had a guest we all thought was supposed to be some kind of rock star, like Sammy Hagar. A few days later, we discovered he had actually showed up in his usual street clothes! http://www.starkmadness.com/photos/albums/_parties/h01/14.jpg


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## melissa (Jul 23, 2004)

For some people, maybe every day really is Halloween!


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## darkness (Sep 1, 2005)

I try to make them mandatory, but most of my "friends" suck! They always have some kind of excuse especially no money. It's not like I expect them to get some elaborate costume or anything, just a little make up will do. I think it's disrespectful when people show up with no costumes when they know that you as the host requested costumes.


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## melissa (Jul 23, 2004)

darkness: I agree that it's disrespectful. Do you still let them come in, or make them go away and come back costumed? 

I have a couple of friends who I think would REALLY get into the spirit of things, and some that - if they thought I was serious about the "mandatory" part - would do it begrudgingly. There are a couple who might even decide not to come. My goal will be to make dressing up worth it. 

One of the reasons I asked the question about the "this _is_ my costume" people is that I knew folks in the past who would have tried it. Not now - I think - but if someone showed up without a costume, and I said it was mandatory, then I think I'd have to insist that they figure something out. That or make things so fun that the uncostumed folks feel awkward and then want to wear one. Everyone has to figure out their own policy.


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## witchiepoo (Oct 4, 2006)

I'm obviously a big fan of costumes - halloween is just getting bigger here & i live in a village where only my friend & I decorate our houses completely - usually most people now stick a pumpkin in the garden on halloween night - maybe a couple of decorations up - but that's it. I always dress up for the kids coming to the door - they have to pass my house everyday going to & from school & they get the build up for a couple of weeks seeing my house done up & i get great feedback from them when i open the door to them on the night. usually me friend has the adult party the night after halloween & I help her with decor too - it does annoy me when some people come & they don't bother to dress up knowing all the effort she has gone to. i don't have a party for the adultsas we live rural & most of the family would find it too much to travel & i don't have the space for them to stay. 
I even had a fancy dress party for my 40th birthday last year (booked a hall near where most of the people we new stayed) - & more than half dressed up - & I can definately say that people who didn't know one another mingled more because of the costumes - plus a lot of the people who hadn't bothered said they wished they had!
by all means push the costumes part - if they can't be bothered to make the effort they won't appreciate what an effort you've made.


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## Lady of Chamberwell Manor (Oct 16, 2006)

We've always had great cooperation with guests wearing custumes. We moved to a new state last year and lost our Halloween "reputation" because none of our new neighbors knew what to expect. We sent out the invitations (coffins with the skeletons, webs & spider inside) that told them costumes were required and then started putting up the outdoor decorations. At first we heard the usual "I haven't worn a costume since I was a kid" and other excuses, but as the party got closer and they say by our outdoor display how much we really put into it, we had 70 of our brand-new neighbors and friends come to the party and every single one was in costume. At the party they got to see the great prizes we give for funniest, scariest and best costumes and NOW we have neighbors coming up to us to tell us they've already figured out or ordered their costumes for this year. THAT's what makes us keep wanting to make it bigger and better every year!!

Note: If anyone would come without a costume, I keep a basket by the door with misc. wigs, masks, old clothes, etc. and they would have to dig in there and figure something out!!


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## crimsonqueen63 (Jul 12, 2008)

we have one rule.....dress in costume....well some friends just seemed unable to get a costume together....so new rule was made....costume or ALL BLACK . seemed to work just fine


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## LT Scare (May 21, 2008)

melissa said:


> If you showed up not in costume, the hostess would dress you. Those parties were a blast. People rarely showed up out of costume more than once.


I know some guys who are so attention starved that they would show up each year with no costume just to get the hostess to dress them. 

Anyway, anyone who would show up at a H'ween costume party, not in costume is not a person you want at your party - so don't let 'em in.


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## missjavaviolet (Jun 29, 2007)

> Does anyone ever try coming in regular clothes and saying they're coming as themselves



Last year, one of my friend's just showed up in plain clothes. No costume shirt. No stupid background story. Just him..

And when it came time to go through all the vote's for best costume, silliest etc..

There it kept coming up again and again.. "kevin... Kevin... KEVIN" 

They alll voted him funniest costume. Just goes to show to ya, even though without a costume can win.


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## freudstein (Aug 9, 2007)

melissa said:


> If you showed up not in costume, the hostess would dress you. Those parties were a blast. People rarely showed up out of costume more than once; not because the hostess would dress them (she did), but because they started to understand how much fun they could have if they participated fully. Also, you just didn't want that hostess mad at you.



 That sounds awesome! What a great hostess! At least it's a sure way that everyone will have a great time 

I think that the majority of party fun is costumes, and taking pictures. After all, where's the halloween fun in plain old clothes?


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## wilbret (Oct 8, 2004)

Costumes are part of Halloween, period. 

Some people are reluctant and show up without, but then realize EVERYONE else is doing it and having a great time. One guy was ADAMANT about not wearing a costume... the next year he came dressed as PAPA SMURF. All blue!


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## Caliban (Oct 2, 2007)

We hosted our first party last year and strongly suggested that costumes be worn. We live so far away from our friends that we didn't want to turn anyone away. Fortunately there was only one person who didn't come in costume as he came kind of last minute. Everyone had so much fun and loved the prizes we gave for costumes that we'll keep the same policy.


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## Elza (Jun 21, 2004)

My parties are always "Costume a Must!". If they show without a costume, I put a paper toilet seat cover around their neck. I write different things on the paper cover - Head case, Porcelain Queen, You should see things my way, etc. 

If nothing else, it keeps things funny and they usually wear a costume the next time!


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## gennifyr (Aug 22, 2006)

I've had two parties so far and although I don't state costume mandatory, everyone knows that a costume is expected. 

So far I've only had one person show up without a costume and he was clearly the odd one out.


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## natascha (Jul 21, 2004)

A local bar is having a Costume Party and the Ad said

"Costume Party (That means Wear A Costume!)"


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## LT Scare (May 21, 2008)

natascha said:


> A local bar is having a Costume Party and the Ad said
> 
> "Costume Party (That means Wear A Costume!)"



I like it. 3 lb. sledge subtle. Not the 10 lb. sledge threat, but still solid.


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## BWarriner (Jul 29, 2008)

Hi, new guy here...this year we will make our party, costume mandatory. Especially for the amount of effort we put into our parties, and the fact that the only trouble we had last year came from 4 undressed "friends of friends".


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## freudstein (Aug 9, 2007)

BWarriner said:


> Hi, new guy here...this year we will make our party, costume mandatory. Especially for the amount of effort we put into our parties, and the fact that the only trouble we had last year came from 4 undressed "friends of friends".



Shame about that. Next year, if any friends of friends plan to show up, make sure your friends pass along the message that costumes are essential. 

*No costumes-No entry*. - You could put that on a sign at the front door too!!


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## BWarriner (Jul 29, 2008)

Brings up another good topic. Last year, we actually had some neighborhood kids walk up into the party...needless to say the amount of liability involved especially with the fact that we were serving alcohol so freely. Fortunately, some of the other patrons "caught on" to the fact that they were underage and kicked them out. I was busy with a drunk guy in my master bathroom pissing in the tub in front of everybody, so I was not present when they were "removed". But that's another story.
My point is with the addition of "costume mandatory" we were throwing around the idea of taking turns at the front door. Some of my hosts aren't too thrilled, but I think they understand my concerns. I certainly don't want to get sued by some underage kids' parents for serving alcohol to their precious little Johnny...
How do you guys deal with this issue, or is it an issue at all for you?


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## natascha (Jul 21, 2004)

For us we have all ages at the party so we give out colored coded wristband tickets for entry. Orange is for drinking age, Purple for under age. You must have a wristband to enter Party, One person at the driveway as Security, and we ask if people bring Drinks (We serve some) to keep it behind the Bar. We have two people for Bartenders. With wristband they don't have to make a judgement call. 

Cover Your Assests!


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## melissa (Jul 23, 2004)

BWarriner said:


> Brings up another good topic. Last year, we actually had some neighborhood kids walk up into the party...needless to say the amount of liability involved especially with the fact that we were serving alcohol so freely. Fortunately, some of the other patrons "caught on" to the fact that they were underage and kicked them out. I was busy with a drunk guy in my master bathroom pissing in the tub in front of everybody, so I was not present when they were "removed". But that's another story.
> My point is with the addition of "costume mandatory" we were throwing around the idea of taking turns at the front door. Some of my hosts aren't too thrilled, but I think they understand my concerns. I certainly don't want to get sued by some underage kids' parents for serving alcohol to their precious little Johnny...
> How do you guys deal with this issue, or is it an issue at all for you?


Not an issue for me, personally, but a friend had problems with gate crashers at every party. She got sick of it after an invited guest brought a dozen or more people to a restaurant she'd reserved (they paid for their own food, but there was no room for the people she'd actually invited); she also ran out of food at a couple of parties in her home, largely from uninvited people (always friends of friends)*. For the last party I attended she commissioned a bunch of pins; people had to have the pin (which you couldn't buy anywhere) AND a password to get in. 

The whole alcohol thing opens up another can of worms! The pin & password thing worked for that crowd, but I wouldn't necessarily recommend it. You definitely need someone at the door, though! If underage folks are allowed at all, then the armband suggestion would be pretty simple. If there is any way to sneak in (through the back yard, etc.), you need a way to distinguish the legal guests (invited AND allowed to drink). 

*The folks who invited others without getting an okay in advance weren't invited back.


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## Elza (Jun 21, 2004)

Sounds like you guys have LARGE crowds....sigh not in my area...people aren't much into Halloween and I have to invite 3 times the number of people I want to show up to get a good crowd. 

I've been fortunate enough not to have the issue of underage. My big problem is people drinking other peoples byob's. After all the deco's and food I can't afford to furnish the booze too. 

Just don't have any idea how to handle that problem.


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## Zeltino (Aug 7, 2006)

Elza said:


> Sounds like you guys have LARGE crowds....sigh not in my area...people aren't much into Halloween and I have to invite 3 times the number of people I want to show up to get a good crowd.
> 
> I've been fortunate enough not to have the issue of underage. My big problem is people drinking other peoples byob's. After all the deco's and food I can't afford to furnish the booze too.
> 
> Just don't have any idea how to handle that problem.


Maybe you could have all of your friends/partygo-er's pitch in a few bucks each, so that you can purchase all the drinks and won't have to worry about people drinking other people's drinks. 

Just an idea . Most of my friends handle it that way - if you going to a party, they ask for some money - you don't have to give anything, but it's nice to if you plan on drinking.


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## melissa (Jul 23, 2004)

Elza said:


> Sounds like you guys have LARGE crowds....sigh not in my area...people aren't much into Halloween and I have to invite 3 times the number of people I want to show up to get a good crowd.
> 
> I've been fortunate enough not to have the issue of underage. My big problem is people drinking other peoples byob's. After all the deco's and food I can't afford to furnish the booze too.
> 
> Just don't have any idea how to handle that problem.



It depends on the party. A lot of people probably think that BYOB = "bring something to share, and take whatever looks good." Which is fine, if that's what everyone ELSE thinks is going on. I don't drink much, but have had trouble when I've taken a case of something I do like to drink, and am lucky if I get one. This used to happen with Diet Coke a lot, and even bottled water. I got good at hiding a few can in different spots! 

I remember one host at a BYOB party getting more and more frustrated because people helped themselves to everything in his fridge, namely the hard-to-find beverage he had stashed for himself. 

Maybe you can think of a way to label them, or remind people that they might want to do that. You could provide tape and Sharpies, and maybe some tags, then make a little sign asking people to a) label what they brought, and b) only take what they brought. 

You could have two areas, one set up like this, and one "free for all," for those that don't care if they get one of their own beverages.


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## LT Scare (May 21, 2008)

Elza said:


> Sounds like you guys have LARGE crowds....sigh not in my area...people aren't much into Halloween and I have to invite 3 times the number of people I want to show up to get a good crowd.
> 
> I've been fortunate enough not to have the issue of underage. My big problem is people drinking other peoples byob's. After all the deco's and food I can't afford to furnish the booze too.
> 
> Just don't have any idea how to handle that problem.


There are different degrees of effort and costs you can apply to this common problem, depending upon how big a problem it is and how strongly you need to address it.

The most simple is to keep a couple of black Sharpies secured on strings (webs, if a spider is at the base of the string). Start by marking YOUR booze with your name and have a little sign encouraging guests to do the same ... no THEIR names .. good try. This will automatically remove the excuse from the moocher who always says, "Oh, sorry thought that was mine." or "Someone drank mine, so I borrowed some of this one." Just check the trash can for a container with his name. Better than nothing, but not the best.

The extreme without a bartender, would be to have a cubby arrangement (simple = cardboard shoe storage is adequate) with a paper flap scotch taped to the top of each cavity. Each BYOB guest's name on his "flap." People caught rummaging through the flaps can be dealt with as you see fit - maybe a fun punishment of some kind.

5 of these (that would be 60 cavities) only cost $32. Need more, 10 are only $40, and you can disassemble for storage and use over and over each year - just a new flap and scotch tape.


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## Haunted Dogs (Jun 15, 2007)

One way to offer something to guests without breaking the bank is to have a spiked punch available. That might help ease the frustration of people that didn't bring their own is drinking everyone else's beverage of choice.

As for keeping your own stash safe...my husband had his own twist on that last year. We have tons of alcohol because our neighbors pitch and we've been saving from party to party so the collection has grown. Somehow we ended up with some generic type of whisky. We also had some Crown Royal. My husband put them both out on the bar, which surprised me. What he'd done was swap the alcohol from one to the other and he would just access the plain wrap bottle. Worked like a charm! 

I'm not sure who drank from the Crown Royal bottle, but someone did!


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## Elza (Jun 21, 2004)

The swap is just too funny. For me I just make a picture of a drink I like and not many other people do. (Brandy sours) But I get to feeling real bad for those who bring and then we all see those that do not bring digging into their stuff. 

I think I'll just police the door, if you come without, you do without. There's a level of etiquette here that needs to be observed. After all BYOB mean bring YOUR OWN booze. 

This year if they pull that stuff, I'm pitching them out. Maybe people like that just need a good embarrassment to shake 'um up.


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## HD-Lilly (Jan 23, 2008)

We have a BYOB every yr and never had any problems ( we provide beer and sodas)
Usually 30 to 50 people depends on weather
As a matter of fact most people leave what they bring. We end up having a pretty much fully stocked bar the next day.
But of course they know next time they come over to party..their drink is always available.
Ghoul Luck at your parties this year.


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## colmmoo (Jul 23, 2005)

Talking about BYOB. Does anyone know someone who always brings a six-pack of the cheapest beer then drinks everyone else's?


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## BWarriner (Jul 29, 2008)

We always supply all the alcohol, we have 4-5 "hosts" for financial purposes that each pitch in between $150-$250. In the past, this also went towards any new props or decorations we had to purchase for that year as well as the alcohol and food, but since we have most of our props and decorations and we are able to recycle most of them, costs won't be as high. 
We block off the kitchen area, which the hosts work behind the sink counter, and, in the past, the hosts take turns being the bartenders. Noone is allowed behind the bar except for the hosts. This typically works well managing the crowd until about 3-4ish in the morning, at which point, it's pretty much a free-for-all by then. 
We keep a cooler outside for anyone who wants to bring beer to put into it, and we tell people that bring their own alcohol that they will have be responsible for watching it. 
I think this year we will be accepting either an entry-fee or put out a couple of tip jars for appreciation donations. Every year, we have multiple people that ask why we don't charge a cover fee or something. Honestly, I had wanted this event to be totally free to maximize participation, but we may need to start keeping our crowd below 150 people just for sanity's sake.


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## Elza (Jun 21, 2004)

Colmmoo...that's the type of people I'm talking about...and it's usually a guest of a guest...I guess you can say they are moochers.

I think I'll add something to the invite to let them know it's by invitation only and any additional guests need to be cleared through me. After all it's a murder mystery and that gives me good reason to control the crowd to control the effect and out come of the mystery. Since I've made the invites like summons, I guess I can stipulate something along legal lines or keeping it to those summoned by Police Chief Ricard Head...

We'll see.


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## HD-Lilly (Jan 23, 2008)

BW.. be careful ..

I would suggest a prop donation box instead
and charging to get in definitley NO
Tipping and or Charging would be a form of working and then you need a liquor license.
They just busted a bunch of college kids here not to long ago for charging at the door.

Elza ..that would be the best way to go ..invitation only


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## mysterymaiden (Aug 11, 2008)

You could always do a theme - like Tarts and Vicars but with more Halloween flare - Vamps and Vixens? Witches and Wizards? That way they know more or less what they are aiming for, now they just need the actual costume. I believe that most people, once they experience the costume party full-on, will look forward to it next year!


Leigh Clements
The Mystery Maiden
Shot In The Dark Mysteries.com


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