# lame halloween joke time



## halloweendarkangel

*Yeah child that was pretty lame, good one lol*


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## awesomeguy

*hahahaha*

good stuff


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## Junit

Oh  I thought the coffin was going to eat him alive...


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## Count Ramsely

BWA HA HA HA HA HA HA HAAAAAAAAA!!!!! THAT! was a lame joke just as you said! I'm just...so shocked at how lame it actually was, I mean you REALLY knew it was gonna be lame! XD jk but seriously, did you make it up or hear it some where? =)


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## halloweendarkangel

*Here one a pumpkin walks into a bar, ouch! There is that lame enough, lol*


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## Gothikren

haha i love uber silly lame jokes and i torture my husband with them


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## spookyone

wild case of the snickers heheheheheheheh lame but still good


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## NOWHINING

Gads! Too lame!


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## WeirdRob

Hmmm... purposely making a lame joke is kinda hard for me. It usually comes naturally. *rimshot* 

So a man is standing in his yard putting up Halloween decorations when his friend walks up. His friend asks him what is he doing. The man responds, "I'm putting up some orange lights" The friend then says "Won't that Frankenstein prop look tacky standing under those lights?" The man then responds "That's not a Frankenstein prop, that's my wife!"


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## eanderso13

What did one casket say to the other casket?

...

...

"Is that you coffin over there?"


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## WickedBB70

On Halloween night, the doorbell rings at one man's house. He opens the door...

"Trick or Treat!" a young boy says.

Man - "What are you dressed as?"

Kid - "Rocky"

Man - "Cool costume! Here is some candy for you. Have a great Halloween!" and then he closes the door.

Ten minutes later, the doorbell rings again and the man opens the door.

"Trick or Treat!" a young boy says.

Man - "Hey! Didn't I just see you 10 minutes ago? You're dressed as Rocky, right?"

Kid - "Nope. That wasn't me. I'm Rocky 2!"

(how lame is that??   )


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## Skulkin

O.K., I have to get in on the lame jokes, too.

The Mom asks the little boy what he wants to be for Halloween? He says, "Argh, me wants to be a pirate." So the Mom makes him a pirate costume complete with a hat. Halloween night comes, and the boy excitedly puts on his pirate costume, but the hat's a too big. Mom convinces him that it'll be O.K. just go out and talk like a pirate when you're trick or treating. He goes out and the first house he stops at he yells "Argh, trick or treat, me hearties!" A man comes out to give him candy, sees the cute pirate with the oversize hat and says "A pirate, eh? Where are your buckaneers?" The little pirate responds "Argh, underneath me buck'n hat!"


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## TheEvilQueen

Skulkin said:


> O.K., I have to get in on the lame jokes, too.
> 
> The Mom asks the little boy what he wants to be for Halloween? He says, "Argh, me wants to be a pirate." So the Mom makes him a pirate costume complete with a hat. Halloween night comes, and the boy excitedly puts on his pirate costume, but the hat's a too big. Mom convinces him that it'll be O.K. just go out and talk like a pirate when you're trick or treating. He goes out and the first house he stops at he yells "Argh, trick or treat, me hearties!" A man comes out to give him candy, sees the cute pirate with the oversize hat and says "A pirate, eh? Where are your buckaneers?" The little pirate responds "Argh, underneath me buck'n hat!"


Awesome 

I hope you don't mind... but I am going to repeat that one!

And here is another really bad one fur ya all.

What is a hillybillies favorite thing about Halloween?


Pumpkin


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## TheEvilQueen

and another...

This one was around when I was in garde school.

Why can't witches get pregnant?

Warlocks have Hall-o-weenies.


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## TheEvilQueen

Hey,

What did Drac say to his girlfriend?

I'll be up all night...
until you give me wood.

It's hard to keep a dead man down.

OUCH!


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## amylovesgumby

*coffin joke*

That was cute!


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## jingles

So a skeleton walks into a bar and says, give me a beer and a mop.


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## lollypopholly

wow, I am having a hard time here containing my out of control blank stare. blink blink


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## ImWhisper

One of my boys' favorites.....



What did the skeleton say to the vampire?




You suck!


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## TheEvilQueen

ImWhisper said:


> One of my boys' favorites.....
> 
> 
> 
> What did the skeleton say to the vampire?
> 
> 
> 
> 
> You suck!


HAHAHA

I like that!

Give him a treat!


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## pmpknqueen

Ok here are some...

Why dont skeletons play in church?

Cause they got no organs!


Why won't the skeleton cross the street?

Cause he didn't have the guts!


What do you call a vampire who's trying to get to the nearest blood bank?

A cab!

hahaha lol


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## geigerwolf

*Oh i have hundreds of lame jokes....*

Which monster likes to fly kites in the rain?
Benjamin Franklinstein...

What did the skeleton say to the bartender?
I'll have two beers and a mop...

What did the mummy say to the detective?
Let's wrap this case up...

Why was the witch kicked out of witching school?
Because she flunked spelling...

When a witch lands after flying, where does she park?
The broom closet...

Why can't skeletons play music in church?
Because they have no organs...

How do you tell twin witches apart?
You can't tell which which is which...

What do you call a dead chicken that likes to scare people?
A Poultrygeist...

What room can’t a skeleton go into?
The living room…..


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## geigerwolf

*How about my book of lame pirate jokes....*

why wasn’t the little boy allowed to see the movie? It was rated ARRRGGH.

Do yee know wherrrre to send a sick pirate ship? To the Dock.

I’m a pirate, so what do yee suppose be me favorite snack. Chips Ahoy of course.

What do you call a pirate that skips class? Captain Hookey.

How much did the pirate pay to get each ear pierced? A buck-an-ear.

What did the old Pirate get? Arrrrrrrrthritis

Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet ?Because they can spend years at C!

A pirate walks into a bar wearing a paper towel on his head. He sits down at the bar and orders some rum. The bartender asks, "Why are you wearing a paper towel?" "Arrr..." says the pirate. "I've got a bounty on me head!"

What do you call a stupid pirate? The pillage idiot
What is a pirate's favourite type of music? Arr and B
What did the pirate get on the test? A high sea
What brand of clothes do pirates wear? Arrrrrrrrmani
Where does the pirate put his cows? In the BARNicle
What do you get when you cross a pirate with a zuchnni? A Squashbuckler!!!
What is a pirate's favorite dessert? Peach cobblARRRRR!!
What do you call a pirate with two eyes and two legs? Rookie
Why do pirates always bury their treasure 18 inches below the ground? Because booty is only shin deep!
Why didn't the pirate take a shower before walking the plank? He knew he would wash up on the shore later anyway
What is the name of the pirate tax office? The Aye. Arrr. S!
Did you hear about the good mileage Cap'n Hawk gets out of his warship? He gets 35 miles to the galleon!
What's Captain Hook's favorite store? The Secondhand Shop!
What kind of laundry detergent do pirates like best? Tide!
How do pirates communicate, with an AYEEE phone
Why couldn't the pirates play cards? The captain was standing on the deck


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## Gym Whourlfeld

*Why Does The Ocean Roar?*

You 'd roar too if you had crabs on your bottom.


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## Skulkin

A passenger in a taxi leaned over to ask the driver a question and gently tapped him on the shoulder to ask him a question.

The driver screamed, lost control of the cab, nearly hit a bus, drove up over a curb and stopped just inches from a plate glass window.

For a few moments everything was silent in the cab. Then, the still shaking driver said, "Are you O.K.? I'm so sorry, but you scared the daylights out of me."

The badly shaken passenger apologized to the driver and said he didn't realize a mere tap on the shoulder would startle the driver so badly.

The driver replied "No, no, I'm the one who's sorry, it's entirely my fault. This is my very first day driving a cab..........................
I've been driving a hearse for the past 25 years."


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## Pumpkinhead625

Not sure if this is Halloween per se, but here does...

Two cannibals are eating a clown, when one turns to the other and asks,"Does this taste funny to you?"


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## Pumpkinhead625

I also have one to add to geigerwolfs pirate jokes:

A pirate (with a tiny steering wheel protruding from his zipper) walks into a bar. The bartender sees it and asks, "Is that a steering wheel in your pants?". The pirate replies, "AARRRRGH, and it's driving me nuts!"


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## HalloweenJokes

Yo Zombie Jokes Must be some of the must lame jokes around for Halloween.

Yo zombie is so dirty, a living survivor smelled it and passed out!

Yo zombie is so dirty and smells so bad, it was entered in the hunger games and won within 30 seconds!

Yo zombie’s head is so wrinkled, it has to screw its hat on!

Yo zombie is so dead it went to night school and got marked absent!

Yo zombie is so dead it bleeds smoke!

Yo zombie’s breath smell so bad when it yawns it teeth fall out!

Yo zombie’s teeth are so rotten, when it smiles they look like dice!

Yo zombie aren’t so bad… it would give you the hair off of its back!

Yo zombie is so clumsy it got tangled up in a cordless phone!

- See more at: http://halloweenjokes.com/yo-zombie-jokes.html


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