# The Great Teenage Girl Chase



## David Knoles (Jun 18, 2002)

Hi kiddies. Since a bunch of you liked the last tale I told from my adventures at Shipwreck, “The Attack of the Floating Ghost,” here’s a new one. It’s called…

I Was a Halloween Monster II:
The Great Teenage Girl Chase

The chamber was wide and long. The stone walls were dominated with elaborately carved circles topped with leering gargoyles. Lamps on the floor shined both green and purple light into the center of the circles, dimly illuminating the entire chamber in its grim and ghostly light. A misty fog swirled lazily in the air, and music from a chamber trio featuring a haunting harpsichord seemed to drift along with it.
I was pacing the floor impatiently, glancing every now and then into the inky darkness that engulfed the entrance to the chamber like a black hole. But no one appeared. It had been ten minutes since anyone other than Joe Samuels, my tag-team fright partner, had entered the chamber, and we were getting restless.
I was clad in a black, hooded robe belted around the middle by a black leather belt embedded with silver studs. A skeleton hung from the belt along with two cloth pounces. One of them held a rat. The other one held a ghost named Maxwell. I was wearing tattered, fingerless gloves, and I was holding a shaker can casually in my right hand. My face was a ruin of brunt and striped away skin oozing blood and exposing raw bone. My black lips dipped downwards into a frown. Without unweary guests, there was no one to frighten, and that’s why I was there.
I was a Halloween monster, and this was my domain. It was called the Hall of Faces, and it lead into the gallery, a mysterious narrow corridor lined with portraits that regularly transformed into tableaus of horror as if some ghostly artist were repainting them from an invisible palate using a non-existent brush. 

<center>







</center>
<center>The Factory of Fears Gallery</center>

Beyond was a long, stone-lined passage that led into a crypt. I could hear the other monsters in the rooms and hallways behind me. They were as hungry and restless as I was. But still no one came.
I heard a voice wailing from the gallery. It was Joe. “It’s toooo quiet in here,” he cried.
I more than agreed. I threw my head back. “Victims!” I cried. “Bring me victims! I want quivering teenage flesh!”
Joe wandered into the Hall as my words echoed off of it. “Quivering?” he asked through a sinister, questioning smile.
“Yeah,” I said with a shrug. “Why not be specific? I don’t just want teenage flesh. I want quivering teenage flesh.”
He leisurely shook the shaker can he was carrying as he stared into the darkness ahead. It rattled with a muffled sound, having been nearly flattened from pounding against the walls. “I just want somebody. Anybody.”
Joe began pacing beside me. He was wearing a dark blue jumpsuit and boots. His hair was short and spiked, and his face was a ghastly ruin of latex scars and theatrical blood.
It was Saturday night, October 13, 2001. Even though the event was in the second weekend of its run, the night had begun slowly. Like me, Joe was a veteran Shipwreck performer. He had won the MVM – Most Valuable Monster – award for the Engine Room Maze in 2000. Although I didn’t know it at the time, I was destined to be named MVM for the maze we were working, The Factory of Fears, for 2001. We were the recipients of these awards for a very good reason. When it came to dishing out scares, we were the very best.
But we were both restless with the inactivity. The music in the background became more upbeat in tempo. I began singing a song Joe and I had made up to unsettle our victims.
“Just sit right back and you’ll hear a tale,” I sang in a low croaky voice. “A tale about Shipwreck…”
“…That started on this haunted ship,” Joe chimed in. “Right on this very deck.”
“So come a long we’ll have some fun…”
“We’ll leave you in a wreak…”
And then together we sang, “We’ll chase you down our haunted halls and get you by the neck!”
I rattled my own shaker can. It was new, and the sound echoed down the hall.
As if on cue, there was a stirring from the darkness. It was the sound of giggling and whispers.
“Victims!” I said, turning to Joe.
He disappeared around the corner into the gallery. I slipped into a corner and melded with the darkness. I crouched there, waiting.
A group of about 10 people were wandering slowly through the Hall of Faces, blinking upward at the gargoyles. I waited patiently until they neared the entrance to the gallery. One of them, a squat middle age woman stopped and peered into the shadows as if she had spotted something but wasn’t sure what. As she leaned forward for a closer look, I sprang out, teeth bared; shaking the shaker can in my right hand and laughing like a maniac. Two of them fell back against the wall. The woman in front let out a shrill scream so loud that it drown out everything else. They all began running for the gallery as I rushed toward them.
They were laughing by the time they had all disappeared into the gloom of the gallery. A moment later, I heard them scream again. It was Joe. “This ain’t no Disneyland,” I heard him cry distantly in a hoarse voice. The fun was just beginning.
I had startled some young girl by pretending to be a grizzly statue and then coming alive when she stepped closer for a better look. I got her date – a tall fellow – too, but neither of them hurried away. Instead, she put her hand on my shoulder and spoke right into my ear. 
“My mom is right behind us,” she said. “She’s really freaked out by all this. Get her.”
It isn’t unusual for people who had just gotten scared to ask us to scare their friends. But this was a first. I looked up at the girl’s date. He looked back at me, confused, as if he had no idea what was going on. Oh, well, I thought. It takes all kinds.
So I melded with a dark wall as a new group of people wandered into the Hall of Faces. In the middle of the group was an attractive woman with short brown hair who was flinching at every whiff of fog. The young girl, who was standing near the entrance to the gallery with her befuddled boyfriend, began frantically pointing at the nervous woman. I sprang out of the darkness toward her, laughing like a demented ghoul. She not only threw back her head to scream, but she threw both arms in the air and sprinted toward the gallery as if someone had put a jetpack in her blouse.
I ran after her, rattling my shaker can. “Mommy!” I called to her back. “Where y’goin’, Mommy? Come back here, Mommy, I need a hug.”
But I doubt she heard me. The woman, still screaming, disappeared around the bend of the gallery like a character in a cartoon. Damn that woman was fast.
Her daughter stumbled up to me, doubled over with laughter. “That was great,” she choked out as she offered a high five. Her boyfriend still looked confused.
A shrink, I thought as I watched them blend into the fog in the gallery, could make a living off those two. But, as I said, it takes all kinds.
The night was picking up, but as it wore on, there still wasn’t that classic scare I’d been waiting for. Plenty of people jumped. Plenty of startled girls screamed. But aside from the mother-daughter thing, it was fairly sedate. I began to wonder if my shaker can was faulty. This sort of thing can be fairly hard on a monster's ego.
I was thinking about this while working the far end of the gallery. I was hiding against the wall where the first part of it ended and turned abruptly into another corridor. I’d sprung from this spot a dozen times. Mostly, it had been fairly effective. Sometimes, the response had been polite. I was beginning to think that perhaps I’d lost my edge – or that maybe I was dealing with a dead audience, when I heard the sound of distant screaming. I knew Joe was in the Hall of Faces, and the screams couldn’t be anything other than a group of teenage girls.
Teenage girls are the victims of choice for nearly all the monsters aboard the Queen Mary. Filled with enthusiasm and charged with energy, they overreact because they assume it’s expected. And they do it with panache.
So I crouched a little in my hiding place as I heard their nervous whispers and muffled giggles. It sounded like a group of at least five or them, maybe more. I could see their reflections in the glass of one of the pictures on the wall opposing me. I waited patiently until they were in just the right position, and then I sprang out into the hallway.
The girls heading toward me – there were six in all – stopped in mid-stride and fell back on each other, nearly falling backwards in a group. They inched away from the wall cautiously, flinching every time I moved. I maintained eye contact. Then I rattled the shaker can at them, and they all screamed again.
People will usually only jump, flinch and scream once after I leap out and surprise them. Then they’ll just shake their heads and laugh at themselves because they know they’ve been had. Some people will continue to react after they’ve seen me since they buy into the whole monster-victim thing. Then there are the people I really like. They totally freak out. These people are really into the fantasy. They don’t care if I’m just a guy in a costume. They don’t think about it one way or the other. They’re the people who generally want to play and have the most fun. I watched the six girls nervously move away from me down the second corridor of the gallery. They kept turning around to see what I was doing. One look into their eyes told me I had one of those groups.
So I lumbered after them, chuckling.
“He’s still after us,” one of them said, pushing another of them.
They began moving faster. So did I. I accompanied the chuckle by rattling my shaker can.
“Where you goin’ girls?” I said in my gravelly Wolfman Jack voice.
They bumped into each other as if trying to urge each other to move faster. We were almost at a run now. “Giiiiiirrrrrrllllls,” I called. “Where you goin'? You can’t get away!”
One of them, a short blonde girl, turned around. “Oh my God,” she screamed. “He’s still behind us!”
The others screamed and picked up the pace. I raced after them. Now it was time to unleash my patented ghoul laugh. In a situation like this, the only way to properly use it is to start with a slow chuckle from the back of your throat. Then by degrees as the pace quickens, raise the volume until it becomes booming, maniacal and blood curdling. Freddy Kruger did this to his victims in the original Nightmare on Elm Street. It’s just as effective in real life.
We turned the corner out of the gallery and ran down the length of a long, dark stonewall passage lit by phony candles in stanchions. There was a monster in a black robe positioned near the entrance that usually surprised people stumbling out of the gallery. But all he could do was stare numbly as the five screaming girls dashed past him. Then he heard my laugh and turned to see me running after them, waving my arms. He raised his hand to give me a quick high-five as I ran past him.
The girls kept going, turning at the end of the passage into the gloomy, cobweb-covered crypt. They didn’t stop to look at any of stacked slabs or the skeletons they contained. They ran into a billow of fog in the center of the room gushing from a fog machine pumping it out from behind one of the walls.
I stopped for a second under the cover of the blanket of fog. I could see them for a second, breathing hard near the exit. Jerry Dyer was standing near them, since the crypt is her spot. At 64, Jerry is the oldest working monster at Shipwreck. Despite her age, her act is creepy and effective. That’s probably why they named her MVM for the Factory of Fears in 2000. But even she looked surprised at the agitated state the girls were in.
I waited another heartbeat and then burst out of the fog.
“Hiya girls,” I said, laughing. “Miss me?”
“There he is again,” one of them screamed, pointing. They turned and ran out of the crypt, bumping and pushing each other out of the way.
The passageway out of the crypt is long, dark narrow and twisting. I didn’t follow them into it. Instead, I turned to a door to the side of the entrance. It led into the room outside the set. There, under low workman’s lights, the bare beams and wood panels used to construct the maze were shameless exposed. A spiral staircase leading to an upper deck dominated the middle of the room, as the maze had been constructed around it. I tiptoed carefully over a sea of wires and stored cans of paint to door on the opposite side of the staircase. This one lead back into the maze at the end of the long dark passageway. I grinned to myself as I inched the door open and listened. I heard the distinct sound of screaming coming toward me. Using this “secret passage,” I’d beaten the girls to this spot. They were moving slower now, probably feeling secure in the fact that I’d given up the chase. But no such luck for them. Obviously they hadn’t seen many Halloween movies. Nobody but the final girl gets away.
When they were right on the other side of the door, I pulled it open and rattled my shaker can.
“Oooh ha ha ha ha haaaaaa!” I laughed fiendishly.
One of the girls fell over trying to back away. Her friend pulled her back up before she could hit the floor.
The chase was on again. Remembering the whole Elm Street thing, I started singing, “One...two…Freddy’s coming for yooooooou!”
Up ahead I heard a shrill voice crying “Get away…get away…get away!”
We ran down the length of a hallway frozen every second or so in the flash of a strobe light. This turned into another passage choked in cobwebs that waved in the suddenly breeze caused by all the frenzied running bodies. A cluster of bats hung from the ceiling, but no one stopped to admire them. I was shaking the shaker can so hard now that I feared the eleven pennies inside it would burst through the top.
And still we kept going. We ran past an area surrounded by a chain link fence that contained a really big monster hacking on a huge slab of latex rubber beef with a phony plastic ax. He turned and raised the ax threateningly as the girls ran past him. They were in such a panic now that I doubt they even saw him. He gave me a thumb’s up as I ran after them. I turned quickly and cried, “Dead guys rock!” He hit the fence with his ax in response.
We ran past the kitchen, which was the final grisly tableau in the maze. The monster behind the counter stopped serving a platter of body parts and blinked at the running girls. At the end of the kitchen was a narrow metal gang plank that lead out of the maze into a room on the lower deck filled with Coke machines and video games. The girls pushed and shoved each other to see who would go down it first. There were only two of them left at the head of the gangway when I reached it.
“I hate that guy,” the taller of the two said as I skidded to a halt inches from her face. Her friend, who was smaller, brunette and wearing a pink halter top and shorts, screamed and pulled at her friend’s sleeve as she saw me. The both jumped, screamed and had to catch the handrail to keep from falling over.
They dashed away out of the maze without turning back.
“See you in your dreams, girls!” I called to their backs. “Dead guys rock!”
Monster six, victims zero, I thought with a wide smile as I turned back.
I slowly wandered back to the gallery and Hall of Faces with a stupid smile stamped on my ghoulish face. I was bathed in sweat from the chase, and my costume was clinging to me. But I didn’t care. The chase had been like catching a perfect wave. You don’t care if you paddle back out or not once it’s over, because you know it can’t get any better. I’d be telling everyone about this chase for the rest of the run of the show. Better yet, those girls would have a story they’d be telling until they’re as old as I am.
And just think: I was getting paid to do this.
Dead guys rock, all right.
Oh, yes they do.




The Great Dave O'Lantern


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## ninergirl (May 14, 2002)

OH MY GOD! You had me sitting on the edge of the chair with my knees against my chin for that one. And yes my t-shirt was over my mouth just like when I was little(?) and watched a scary movie. I would have died had I been there and you started on Freddie's song. 
You are tooo much. Thanks Dave.
Ninergirl<img src=icon_smile_shock.gif border=0 align=middle>


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## BLACK WIDOW (Apr 17, 2002)

David ,
Your story communicates the skills of a ''Master artisan'' This ''Craft'' that you can at will.... produce thoughts, feelings,and open up a whole diffrent kind of world,so captivating, so convincing, you have got me feeling, I am on the Queen Mary too, walking in these mazes. Your passion....so... impressive--- Absolutely over the top Amazing as always.............These deep affections for your work truely do show....in this story line....actually even a------- BILDUNGSROMAN--------- in full print.
Your witty smart afflantus.... does open and flow through out.
As always accept ----''aficionado''---- on my part....Spectacular, Sir
Dawn<img src=icon_smile_shy.gif border=0 align=middle>

P.S. Say ''You'' will Mesmerize.... all of us with more of your Magic!
With your pen and ink.....we become the most impressive recipients. 


GUESS...., WHO IS COMING FOR DINNER? DON'T GET CAUGHT IN MY WEBBY...!!!


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## Grinningbook (Aug 9, 2002)

David,

Absolutely BRILLIANT!!! I loved every minute of it! We need to hear more of your nights there! PLEASSSEEE *S*
I would love a job like you have! I would be in heaven LOL!
Wonderful story David...I give you a " HIGH FIVE" !!!!

growwllll


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## David Knoles (Jun 18, 2002)

Wow, girls, thanks. It is, as always, a pleasure to entertain you with my little tales. These last two stories were from last year. Auditions for this year come up on Friday the 13th (appropriate, huh?) This weekend, just to add a little spice to the routine, I started learning "sliding," which is a monster attack in which you run at someone, jump into the air, land on your knees and slide right into them. It's an awesome move. But between training for that, an interesting encounter with a baby octopus while diving on Sunday and a few decent size waves on Monday, I'm hobbling around like a cripple today. Sure am glad I'm sitting in this compfy work chair, cause I sure can't do a lot else!



The Great Dave O'Lantern


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## wicked (Aug 27, 2002)

David, my dearest rocking dead guy!

just thought I would add my bravo's here in appreation of your
"wicked" ways. As always, thank you for the heart thumping details
of your cofessions of a teenage scare seeking mainiac. It was supurb!!

Speaking of a psychiatrist making a living, you'd be a lab rat for sure! LOVE YOU!! hehehehehehe!!!!

By the way.....on your scoring for the monsters....what happend to
victim number 6??? are they STILL wandering the maze in a crazed
frenzy??? hehehehehehe!! Has she been added to the list of "Lost soul's" on the Queen Mary??.... Inquiring mind's want to know!!




"and the banshee shrieks with "wicked" delight, on this, a cold and
death filled night


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## David Knoles (Jun 18, 2002)

Don't know what you're talking about my fine, wicked lady. No one got left behind. It says "Monster six, victims zero," doesn't it?
(See, I know how to use the edit feature toooo!) By the way, you and your daughter, Eerie Myst live in So.Cal. as I recall. Any chance you might come down to the Queen and catch the show this year?



The Great Dave O'Lantern


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## wicked (Aug 27, 2002)

Already planned on it darling! LOL! I just haven't decided weather it's going to be a "trick" or a "treat" yet, or would that be your area? hehehehe<img src=icon_smile_big.gif border=0 align=middle><img src=icon_smile_tongue.gif border=0 align=middle><img src=icon_smile_evil.gif border=0 align=middle><img src=icon_smile_wink.gif border=0 align=middle><img src=icon_smile_kisses.gif border=0 align=middle>

P.S. Edit feature? There's an edit feature? <img src=icon_smile_shock.gif border=0 align=middle> LOL!

P.S.S. I will also be bringing some lovely quivering teenage flesh for sacrifice!<img src=icon_smile_evil.gif border=0 align=middle><img src=icon_smile_wink.gif border=0 align=middle><img src=icon_smile_tongue.gif border=0 align=middle>



"The banshee shrieks with "Wicked" delight, on this, a cold and death filled night!"


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## David Knoles (Jun 18, 2002)

Quivering teenage flesh, you say? Wow, a lady after my own heart! Who says friends don't know how to shop for each other? It's like Count Dracula said when someone asked him who the teenage date he brought into the bar was: "That's not my date," he said. "That's my DRINK!" 

And by the way, who said I HAVEN'T made a few shrinks rich? Well, I have. Actually, I send them my ex's, but only if I get a cut. That way I've ended up RICH TOO!

Ahhhhaahahahahahahahaha!

Dead guys do, indeed, ROCK!



The Great Dave O'Lantern


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## wicked (Aug 27, 2002)

LOL, do you get to "drain" them when you get that cut David?

I'll have to get detail's of date's when is the best time to 
visit the Shipwreck, although, we can't come too close to
Halloween time........gonna be busy, busy! You make it sound
like sooooo much fun! I was going to go to Knotts' again, but 
I think I need a break from my rut.


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## David Knoles (Jun 18, 2002)

Oh, absolutely! Shipwreck is a total panic. I, like you, cut my monster teeth on the scary farm. But one thing that's cool about Queen Mary is that the crowds aren't as obnoxiously long, especially during the initial performance weekends early in the month. Tell you what...if you don't mind, I'll email you with more info. No sense in making all those poor souls out there who DON'T live in California more jealous than they obviously already have to be.



The Great Dave O'Tomato Lantern


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## wicked (Aug 27, 2002)

OK by me David, e-mail away!


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## Eerie Myst (Aug 28, 2002)

Great story* David* ! I love hearing about people getting the *CRAP* scared out of them! I LOVE getting scared! I remember the first time I went to Knott's Scary Farm, I was 13 and there was this white werewolf that kept scaring me! Guess I had *VICTIM* tatooed on my butt 'cuz he was on it ALL NIGHT! But it was one of the best times of my life! So, when we come to see you at the Shipwreck, you better scare me GOOD!!! LOL! Oh, and that sliding thing that you're learning to do scares my mom REAL good!!! hehehehehe
*NOW WHO'S WICKED!!!!!!*<img src=icon_smile_evil.gif border=0 align=middle><img src=icon_smile_evil.gif border=0 align=middle><img src=icon_smile_evil.gif border=0 align=middle>

"where are we going....and why am I in this hand-basket"


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## David Knoles (Jun 18, 2002)

Eerie Myst,

I read that about your mom on another post. I was actually thinking about it when I was going through the first sliding manuvers. I've almost gotten it down. Then...remember the bit in the story about the mother and daughter in the maze?

WELL, HISTORY WILL REPEAT ITSELF!
AHHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

DEAD GUYS ROCK!



The Great Dave O'Tomato Lantern


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## wicked (Aug 27, 2002)

OH GOD! I'M GOING TO DIE! AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! LMAO!!! I CAN'T WAIT!!! Oh GEEZE! Now I'm DROOLING!!! LMAO!!!!!


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## David Knoles (Jun 18, 2002)

You should be. Because just think: in a very short time I could be writing a nice long piece about my latest Shipwreck victim...YOU!AHHHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
DEAD GUYS ROCK!



The Great Dave O'Tomato Lantern


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## wicked (Aug 27, 2002)

Okay, Let's take this boat for a ride! How hard do dead guys rock?


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## David Knoles (Jun 18, 2002)

Hard enough so as not to be taken for GRANITE!
HAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAAAAAA!




The Great Dave O'Tomato Lantern


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## wicked (Aug 27, 2002)

LMAO! Good answer!


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## ninergirl (May 14, 2002)

<img src=icon_smile_big.gif border=0 align=middle>


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## David Knoles (Jun 18, 2002)

Say Ninergirl, Who you ginnin' at?




Tingler Dave, the Great Tomato Lantern


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## wicked (Aug 27, 2002)

She's not grinning, she's squinting, trying to peek in
the window. LMAO!!!


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## David Knoles (Jun 18, 2002)

Then I suppose we should pull down the shades. I mean, I am still chasing you on another thread, after all.



Tingler Dave, the Great Tomato Lantern


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## wicked (Aug 27, 2002)

What? you havn't caught me yet? You must be getting old! LOL


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## David Knoles (Jun 18, 2002)

Well I thought I had, but when I pulled away all that wolf hair in the strip search there was nothing there!
Hey! Wait a minute!
You tricked me, didn't you? Your son posts as The Invisible Man, so it must run in the family! Curses! I hate when that happens!




Tingler Dave, the Great Tomato Lantern


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## wicked (Aug 27, 2002)

<center>*@ @ *</center>


*Did you hear a growl in the shadows? Don't worry,
it's only me!!::::::snarl::::::*


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## David Knoles (Jun 18, 2002)

Woah! Now you are giving me the major TINGLES!

Damn. I like it! A lot!




Tingler Dave, the Great Tomato Lantern


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## wicked (Aug 27, 2002)

Major Tingles? Is that right up there with 
Colonel Goosebumps? LMAO!!!!!


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## David Knoles (Jun 18, 2002)

Yeah. Their sort of like army pants (as in pant! pant! pant! only more regimented).




Tingler Dave, the Great Tomato Lantern


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## wicked (Aug 27, 2002)

NOT going to make ANY jokes about SALUTING here!!
HEHEHEHEHHEHE!


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## David Knoles (Jun 18, 2002)

Come on! Where's your patriotic spirit? Besides, it's such a happysalute!



Tingler Dave, the Great Tomato Lantern


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## wicked (Aug 27, 2002)

OMG!!! I didn't know you were aloud to smile during a salute!!


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## ninergirl (May 14, 2002)

Hey! I'm not tall enough to see in the window!

Actually I was on the same time you both were. I had posted something in the same family as pulling down the shades. But I didn't want it taken the wrong way, since you were both in mist of playful bantering, so I edited it. I didn't realize I missed the face until today. <img src=icon_smile_blush.gif border=0 align=middle>

What I had said was...
I'll just leave now and close the door softly behind me.<img src=icon_smile_big.gif border=0 align=middle>


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## David Knoles (Jun 18, 2002)

Well, at least you didn't ask us to get a room like Nosta did!




Tingler Dave, the Great Tomato Lantern


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## punkin (Aug 7, 2002)

Hey Davis, I just read your story and it was great. It is so wild that you get to do that on the Queen MAry. My uncle worked in the Sir Winston Churchhill for about 20 years. Very nice dinning. I wished I lived close enough to come see the haunted tours. I am crazy about horror.

The worms crawl in the worms crawl out!!!!


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## punkin (Aug 7, 2002)

I mean David, sorry not Davis. Yall have to pardon me it is very early in the morning.

The worms crawl in the worms crawl out!!!!


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## David Knoles (Jun 18, 2002)

That's okay, Punkin. It's early here too. At least earlier than I like being in this office. I've really got to replace that computer of mine that blew up so I can talk to you folks from home. Oh, well. Any port in a storm, I guess. 
As far as the Queen Mary goes, you're right. The whole ship is a trip to the past. I don't know what part of the country you hail from (however, from the "yall" reference I might assume somewhere in the south), but you might consider making a weekend trip out here. All the staterooms aboard the ocean liner have been renovated to their 1930s glory, and the ship is used as a hotel, you know. Shipwreck runs on consecutive weekends throughout October, and the ghosts and legends tour every day.
Sorry. I didn't mean to sound like a commercial. But it really is a trip, and I don't just mean travel-wise.



Dave the Tingler


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## Eerie Myst (Aug 28, 2002)

Hey there David! Just wanted to check and make sure that you're gonna let us know what part of the mazes you're gonna be in right? We've gotta know so that we don't wander through the whole thing saying, "TINGLER DAAAAVVVEEE, WHERE ARE YOU TINGLER DAVE?! LOL! Wouldn't want you getting a bad reputation now. How does this whole thing work anyway? Is it several separate mazes or is it just one big long maze? The admission fee, is that good for like all night or just one trip through? Gotsta have the info! We looked at the site but it wasn't much help at all. 

"where are we going....and why am I in this hand-basket"


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## David Knoles (Jun 18, 2002)

Good morning missy mysty!

Shipwreck works exactly like the Halloween Haunted at Knott's. This year there will be eight, separate terror mazes along with dance parties down in the engine room. The price of admission allows you to see as much as you either want or can get to. So if you like one of the mazes, hell, you can truck through it as often as you like. 

For the past two years I was in a maze on the ship called The Factory of Fears ('course if you've read my own going chronicles, you pretty much already knew that). I won't know which maze I'll be stalking this year until we go in for orientation. But thrust me, I'll let you know every gruesome detail before you show up. We'll even set a time so I can look for the two of you.

By the way, did your mom get my email with the showdates? She never wrote me back *sob* *sob* *sniff* Got a hanky? Thanks. *honk* 

There. That's better.




Dave the Tingler


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## Eerie Myst (Aug 28, 2002)

COOL! WE ARE SO THERE FOR THE ENTIRE NITE!!!!! LOL! 

I asked my mom, and she didn't get your e-mail did you go to [email protected] ? She was wondering why you hadn't written her, she's been walking around here for days.... just wondering aimlessly through the house mumbling, "David hasn't e-mailed me..... I wonder why he hasn't e-mailed me.......". It's been terrible for her! She can't sleep at night, I can't get her to eat, I can't even get her to look at our HALLOWEEN PROPS! Now THAT'S bad! Halloween props always cheer her up! LOL! J/K! She really has been wondering about the e-mail though.

"where are we going....and why am I in this hand-basket"


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## punkin (Aug 7, 2002)

I am so jealous! I wish I could be there!

Let's do the time warp again!


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## Wicked and Eerie Myst (Sep 6, 2002)

AAAAAAWWWWWW!<img src=icon_smile_sad.gif border=0 align=middle> We wish you could be there TOO! That'd be so cool! Where are you again? We forget. We wish that we could get all our friends from here to go!<img src=icon_smile_sad.gif border=0 align=middle> That would be one MONSTEROUS PARTY!!! HEHEHEHEHEHE!!!!<img src=icon_smile_cool.gif border=0 align=middle><img src=icon_smile_tongue.gif border=0 align=middle>


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## punkin (Aug 7, 2002)

I am in Florida, but at least I have been there a couple of times, not the haunted tours but to the Queen Mary, so for that I am grateful. You guys just scream your a**** off for me.

Let's do the time warp again!


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## Eerie Myst (Aug 28, 2002)

Not to worry my dear, I think we've got you covered! LOL!

"where are we going....and why am I in this hand-basket"


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## David Knoles (Jun 18, 2002)

That's right! Mysty, her two sisters and her mom, Wicked, will be at Shipwreck to see me on opening night! And believe me, I can't believe I am receiving such an honor.
But I'm reviving this thread mostly for the curious new poster, Spooky, who was wondering about monsters and mazes...


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## wicked (Aug 27, 2002)

*Bumping up for the newbie Warlock--these stories David wrote are the BEST!!--Enjoy!*

"The banshee shrieks with WICKED delight, on this, a cold and death filled night!"


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## David Knoles (Jun 18, 2002)

This seems to be the story that doesn't want to die! Bumping it up for the benefit of Ann...this is as good as the scares get!



Your friendly neighborhood Wizard


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## moonstarling61 (Aug 13, 2003)

I know you bumped this for my benefit.... 
I am thinking it is a *GOOD* thing we are on opposite ends of the country or you would just be coming around here to hear me scream <VBG> Halloween or NOT
I sat here in the dark and read that little story on my monitor and thought....

A) This guy is INSANE (in a good way)

B) yup he's right I would have peed my pants....(and I am no way CLOSE to a teen anymore)

C) maybe it's NOT such a good idea Hubby takes me to Halloween Horror Nights. (my children need their mother...)

That scared me, and I was ONLY reading it... I am quite visual and GOT the effect you created in your story telling. I think it is time for a 6am morning swim....but I think I'll wait until it's not as dark outside.
That little JC Haunted house had NOTHING on Shipwreck....This sounds totally like DA BOMB. You could make my DH of over 20yrs just have something to talk about the rest of our lives. Lord knows I still hear about the JayCee's Haunted house and that was 20 yrs ago!!

*Then there are the people I really like. They totally freak out. These people are really into the fantasy. They don’t care if I’m just a guy in a costume. They don’t think about it one way or the other. *

Hey I RESEMBLE this remark! and YES, I have a VERY active imagination in ALL things. Maybe that is why I still feel 20 instead of 40, LOL! (in defense reply, hehehehehe)
Thanks for bumping I need a beer....
ann~~

~~Don't torture yourself, Gomez...That's my job~~
~~Morticia Adams~~


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## David Knoles (Jun 18, 2002)

I'm glad you liked the story, Ann. This one happened in my second year at Shipwreck. It got even more intense when I joined the slider team and they put us outside. Sliding, by the way, is a scare technique in which you run at someone from out of the fog at full speed, leap into the air and then come down and slide into them on knee pads. It's such an extreme and unexpected move, and it has you racing toward people at the level of a very vulnerable spot, that it literally has them screaming for mercy and running for the hills. At Shipwreck, there are only three of us sliders. But just think, at Knott's Berry Farm's Halloween Haunt there are 20 or 30 of them. And Halloween Horror Nights (at least the version they held in Hollywood in 2000) featured them too. Just think, they actually PAY me to do this! Like you, I am over 40, but playing a role like this definitely makes me feel 20!



Your friendly neighborhood Wizard


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## moonstarling61 (Aug 13, 2003)

You know David the more I thought about this yesterday (and ya I did think about it alot) You must be a BALL to live with, hehehehehe.
My hubs is into it but NOT like I am. When I lived up north I actually started decorating the first day of fall. He thought I was nuts. 
But I say, hey, you work hard so SHOW it off as long as you can!
Except he loves to scare me.
I so look forward to being a part of this board. You all ROCK, really.
ann~~

~~Don't torture yourself, Gomez...That's my job~~
~~Morticia Adams~~


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## David Knoles (Jun 18, 2002)

Well, thanks, Ann. You know, I think I AM a ball to live with. The only problem is that since I currently live alone, it's a little hard to verify! The last girl I was seriously involved with (who I actually met here on the Halloweenforum last year) loved it when she came out from Australia to stay with me for the month of May. Since they don't widely celebrate Halloween in the land down under (they consider it to be an AMERICAN holiday and therefore beneath notice), she was thrilled to death to find that we had a Halloween warehouse outlet in town that is open 365 days a year. Not only did we spend two days -- to say nothing of a FORTUNE -- there, but then proceeded to chase each other around with fake chainsaws and becloud my house with a fog machine she bought over and over again. It's a shame that distance and circumstance put a bucket of water over that relationship, cause it was really fun. But as far as early decorating goes, there are certain Halloween props (which are actually magical illusions I've created) that are on display all year long. Likewise, my walls are partially covered with some of the original Halloween art I displayed in a one-man showing at an L.A. gallery last year. And, of course, the Sliders and I practise once or twice a month at the Redondo Beach pier. We always manage to scare the crap out of people even though we're only dressed in t-shirts and shorts! Personally, I like to think that Halloween is much more of a state of mind than just a simple once-a-year fall holiday. By the way, I'm glad you found your way to the board! I gotta a feeling you're going to fit right in!



Your friendly neighborhood Wizard


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## moonstarling61 (Aug 13, 2003)

you know I too with the excuse of being Pagan ( I hope I am not Ousted for that admission) have many things in my every day life around my home out.

My friends that know me don't give me the funny looks...My sign that sits over my door that says "come in and sit for a spell"..I also collect Crescent moons 
The biggest thing is the bathroom...I never took down my Grim Reaper clear clingy thing off the mirror (heheheh it's huge) I also have bloody hand prints on the clear shower curtain. 
Dr. Frankenfurter sits on my shelf, along with the LIPs light from the Rocky Horror both were a gift. I also have my spider web candleabra out. That's just some of the stuff that stays out all year. Heck, the house is less then a total of 1000 square feet.

The closest Halloween store to here is an hour away in Altamonte and it's a Party City. I have no car am home all day..hence, web shopping 

I did the same dam thing with the fog machine when I bought it last year... The kids opened all the doors of the house because they kept running into each other. Too funny!

Yeah the internet is WONDERFUL...the distance thing SUCKS. You all have such GREAT haunts. I would love to see if my heart could handle them! I would definately wear my DEPENDS, hehehehehe

ann~~



~~Don't torture yourself, Gomez...That's my job~~
~~Morticia Adams~~


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## David Knoles (Jun 18, 2002)

Well, Ann, if you want to take a quick peek, go down to the photo gallery section of the forum. A whole bunch of us have picture collections there. Mine's mostly Shipwreck stuff, since I haven't as yet had the time to put some past haunt pics into it. But check it out! Everyone's pictures are great!




Your friendly neighborhood Wizard


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## Soul Survivor (Aug 18, 2003)

I just joined here today,but that sounds cool.Ill have to check that out then.

Go back to the Addams Family! 

Cassie,Soul Survivors


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## moonstarling61 (Aug 13, 2003)

David,
even with the dinosaur computer I checked the photo albums the first day  Took some time, but so worth it! all the albums are great. I feel like I am HOME.
I might be able to recoup some of mine. I will get them up if I can.
ann~~

"Does this scare you?"
SM- 
little shop 
of horrors


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## David Knoles (Jun 18, 2002)

Ann,

Very cool! I will be looking forward to your pics!



Your friendly neighborhood Wizard


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## creepybob (Jul 27, 2003)

Me too. We need some more people to put up there pic's. It's one thing to hear about someone's haunt but clearly another when you get to see them.

They mostly come out at night........Mostly
Check out my pic's at http://www.halloweenforum.com/photo_album_view.asp?cname=Main+Album&mid=416&cid=1007


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## LadyDreamer (Aug 19, 2003)

I applaud your skill and enthusiasm at haunting, and hope that if my dream of owning and operating a haunted attraction ever materializes, I can fill my attraction with actors as eager to scare as you. 

C.


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## creepybob (Jul 27, 2003)

Welcome to the forum LadyDreamer! You'll find we are all friendly and willing to help here. I hope you enjoy our forum.

They mostly come out at night........Mostly
Check out my pic's at http://www.halloweenforum.com/photo_album_view.asp?cname=Main+Album&mid=416&cid=1007


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## David Knoles (Jun 18, 2002)

Why, thank you, Ladydreamer, for the very kind words. Personally, I can't think of a reason for not fulfilling that haunted attraction dream. Put on a well-organized whiz-bang show, and you'll find the enthusiastic actors to fill it! And I join Creepybob in welcoming you to our looney bin here.



Your friendly neighborhood Wizard


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## rod spain (Aug 27, 2002)

Ladydreamer,for what little I understand of what David does as a"slider"I must applaud him as others like him.It sounds like it takes a good amount of endurrence and practice to accomplish a really GREAT SCARE like that.Me,I just make corpses.

rod spain


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## Soul Survivor (Aug 18, 2003)

Loony bin,sounds like fun.

Go back to the Addams Family! 

Cassie,Soul Survivors


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## David Knoles (Jun 18, 2002)

Yeah, but they're really GOOD corpses, Rod. They just don't run as fast as my victims do is all!




Your friendly neighborhood Wizard


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## rod spain (Aug 27, 2002)

Tanks for da compliment.Dude.

rod spain


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## moonstarling61 (Aug 13, 2003)

Rod
I really liked your site, also 

ann~~

"Does this scare you?"
SM- 
little shop 
of horrors


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## rod spain (Aug 27, 2002)

Thanks to you 2 Moonstarling.If ya ever get an itch to spend a little cash(I'm always in the mood to "bargain"with my fellow Forum people).I can make you a lovely CORPSE HEAD.

rod spain


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## moonstarling61 (Aug 13, 2003)

Well rod some would already say I AM a corpse head <G> but I shall see what I can do. I'll have to be really nice to get some extra $$ from the budget.
The man is already scared that I am thinking about Halloween already (what's wrong with him?) I mean I *START* planning Halloween Nov. 1st every year.....
Thank you,
ann~~

"Does this scare you?"
SM- 
little shop 
of horrors


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## rod spain (Aug 27, 2002)

Halloween is not JUST a holiday.....its a constant state of mind,just think,you get a corpse head or fully size prop,dress it up for any holiday ocassion.Xmas corpse or corpse head/Valetines day corpse head,etc.DON'T GET ME STARTED!!!HAHAHAHAHA!

rod spain


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## moonstarling61 (Aug 13, 2003)

don't even go there... Do you have ANY idea how I have tried to turn Xmas into Halloween???? I am not a Xmas fan to begin with. Too much money, too much aggravation.
ahhhh, let's put the Angel corpse on top of the DEAD tree. Love the idea... 
Man did I catch HELL (no pun intended) for putting orange & purple lights on the Xmas tree and decorating it with Ghosts & skulls, bwhahahahahaha.(evil laugh) Hey, no one HELPS me anyway, it's MY tree..they thought it was a JOKE. 
I fully intended to LEAVE it THAT way...I LOST that battle...eveyone got lousey presents that year 
ann~~

"Does this scare you?"
SM- 
little shop 
of horrors


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## rod spain (Aug 27, 2002)

I hear ya Moon.Some people just don't have the right spirit.Frankly I would love to get(or make)a Santa Corpse and put a noose around its neck and hang it from a tree outside my of my house.Then invite the neighborhood carolers to come by.BWAHAHAHAA!

rod spain


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## David Knoles (Jun 18, 2002)

Rod...That sounds like a scene from my favorite Christmas movie, "The Munsters Scary Little Christmas." In it, the Munsters do a ghastly holiday home decorating job that has all the neighbors cringing in fear (especially the guiotine that repeatedly chops the snowman's head off); the cheery carollers DO run in fright every time Herman opens the door and tries to sing along; and the elves are much more interested in getting a beer than making toys. But my favorite scene is when one of Grampa's spells turns Santa into a large fruitcake with a Santa Hat on top. Now this flick brings Christmas close to a person!

And by the way, Ann, a string or two of pumpkin lights and a few shrunken heads always add a festive touch to the tree!



Your friendly neighborhood Wizard


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## rod spain (Aug 27, 2002)

I never got a chance to see that.I gotta see if its still available.Thanks for the tip.

rod spain


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## moonstarling61 (Aug 13, 2003)

Rod can I celebrate Xmas with your family. Good thing we are NOT neighbors hehehehehehehehehe

geez david, I've seen that movie a couple of times, I am THO an Adam's Family kinda girl. I love them. I always wanted to be Cousin IT for halloween

hehehehehe

"Does this scare you?"
SM- 
little shop 
of horrors


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## Soul Survivor (Aug 18, 2003)

I was Jason last halloween.

Go back to the Addams Family! 

Cassie,Soul Survivors


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## David Knoles (Jun 18, 2002)

I always liked the Addams Family too, Ann, especially the Original Addams Family. My favorite character was Thing...but the not the Thing that runs around on the floor like a freaking spider...the Thing that lived in a box on the table! In fact, he's living in a box on my bookshelf now...

<center>







</center>

See what I mean? Having him around keeps me from going crazy, cause he always knows when to tell me to get a grip, he's always around to lend a hand when it comes to housework, and he doesn't eat much...mostly box lunches and finger food. He wanted to be called Jack, but given the nature of his home, I thought that was a bit much. But I sometimes let him call him self Hand Solo, since he likes "Star Wars." But his favorite movie is "The Beast with Five Fingers."


Your friendly neighborhood Wizard


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## moonstarling61 (Aug 13, 2003)

You make me roll!
Did you "make" him? He's great and he would stay in my living room all year...as some of my over favs do.
I would ***REALLY*** love to frame a couple of scetches and hang them as well..........
ann~~



"Does this scare you?"
SM- 
little shop 
of horrors


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## David Knoles (Jun 18, 2002)

Yep, I did make him...years ago. One of the TV stations used to run the Addams Family all the time, and my son, who was really young, said it would be great if WE had Thing. So I traced my son's hand onto a piece of wood carved it out and put him into this box so it rises out whenever the lid is opened. So Thing, here, has lived on my bookshelf for more years than I can remember. He is, after all, pretty handy to have around.


Your friendly neighborhood Wizard


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## David Knoles (Jun 18, 2002)

So what, you're not going to give that man a hand?


Your friendly neighborhood Wizard


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## wicked (Aug 27, 2002)

*Bumping this one up for, Uh....well, for Nobody, LOL*

"The banshee shrieks with* WICKED* delight, on this, a cold and death filled night!"


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## David Knoles (Jun 18, 2002)

You can tell the truth, Wicked! Ya just like the story!!!

Your friendly neighborhood Wizard


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## wicked (Aug 27, 2002)

*Cool pic David! How'd you manage to take it without getting busted?*

"The banshee shrieks with* WICKED* delight, on this, a cold and death filled night!"


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## wicked (Aug 27, 2002)

*LOL--I really DO LOVE this story! hehehe*

"The banshee shrieks with* WICKED* delight, on this, a cold and death filled night!"


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## rod spain (Aug 27, 2002)

Hey David,does Thang do any mean jestures when he's mad?

rod spain


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## David Knoles (Jun 18, 2002)

Thanks, Wicked. This has always been my fav too. And as far as the pic goes, well, we professional creatures of the night can be very tricky! But I thought adding a glimpse of the Factory of Fears gallery might add an extra dimension to the story, so there it is, just for you!

And yes, Rod, Thing can get really rude with the guestures if you aren't careful to keep a lid on them!

Your friendly neighborhood Wizard


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## rod spain (Aug 27, 2002)

Hey if he starts to curse in sign language,do you have to wash his hand with soap?

rod spain


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## David Knoles (Jun 18, 2002)

Damn!!! You stole my line!!! I was going to say something like that next!!! But I guess I'm going to have to give you a hand!

Your friendly neighborhood Wizard


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## rod spain (Aug 27, 2002)

Gimme five,guy!

rod spain


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## David Knoles (Jun 18, 2002)

Back in the box, Thing. He's not talking to YOU!


Your friendly neighborhood Wizard


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## David Knoles (Jun 18, 2002)

I like this story, and I didn't want it to go away!


Your friendly neighborhood Wizard


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## creepybob (Jul 27, 2003)

Well David I thought I'd add my little story to your great post.
Two year's ago I was hanging from my front porch real close to the step's that the trick-or-treater's have to go up to our front door. Our front yard is about 20 foot deep as you can see from the photo's in our photo album. I had another dummy (besides me LOL) hanging next to me. I had no skin showing and had a pillow case over my head with holes so I can see. As the haunter's came up they would brush me a little on the way to the front door and I would swing a little. As they got their candy I would scare them. Well there was this group of three teenage girl's comming down the walkway about to turn into our sidewalk. The two first girl's started comming down our front step's to the walkway when the last one said "oh my god I just know something is going to jump out and scare me"!!! Do you know what I was thinking as I hang there? Yes there will be. The first two came up the step's to the porch and the front door getting candy while the last one was getting closer. She got to the step's and made the mistake of saying it again " I just know something is going to jump out and scare me"!!! Without any remorse or sense of humanity, I timed it just as she finished saying "and scare me" when I let out the loudest blood-curdling, arm flailing yell that almost scared her to tear's. It was only then that I knew the true meaning of Halloween.


They mostly come out at night........Mostly
Check out my pic's at http://www.halloweenforum.com/photo_album_view.asp?cname=Main+Album&mid=416&cid=1007


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