# Why is Halloween better than Sex?



## Raef_Wolfe

You can do it underage

It's ok if you get some from more than one person

It's ok to do it alone

I am but a wolf inside


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## Count Ramsely

Those were Awesome! XD Damn...now i really wish sex WAS like Halloween! XD


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## newmoon51

*This was so Great!*

Very, very funny. My problem is, as with sex AND Halloween, they always turn off the lights and pretend they aren't home.


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## HomeyDaClown

The best thing is that with both, you always get this strange feeling that you are being watched.....


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## Madame Turlock

I absolutely love this thread. LMAO!!!!!


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## datura

you can invite all your friends without chocking anyone


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## Dr. Z

You can do it with dead people


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## maleficent

You can take videos of it and share them with everyone.


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## Madame Turlock

newmoon51 said:


> Very, very funny. My problem is, as with sex AND Halloween, they always turn off the lights and pretend they aren't home.


Don't let the small detail get in the way!!!


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## slightlymad

darn it just cant do it in pg 13


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## Packeteer

If you want some "strange stuff", it doesn't get stranger than this!

No one "dis's" you for taking home the ugliest one, You're it!!

The more you get, the better!!


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## restlessspirit

great thread  x


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## Caitsith

Halloween comes once and year and it's guaranteed!
Halloween never has a headache.
Halloween never disappoints.
And last but not least... Halloween is for everybody. It doesn't care of you're fat ugly old stupid or anything else. Basically? Halloween doesn't judge you!!!


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## The Halloween Lady

All my friends and neighbors think I do it best!


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## redrom

Afterwards, the wrappers aren't as messy.


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## BooBoo

all the goodies are safe & prewrapped


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## lilly237

redrom said:


> Afterwards, the wrappers aren't as messy.


Hahah!


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## BooBoo

It comes once a year, where the sex... never mind.


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## BooBoo

Halloween you get the King Size Bar & with Sex you give the King Size Bar


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## BooBoo

Halloween I can leave my Monster hanging out for a few weeks, Sex only a few minutes. I can't stop help.


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## daltonio823

HAHAHHAHAHAH, these are hilarious!


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## JustWhisper

Halloween lasts longer than 10 minutes.

The treats taste better.

At the end of Halloween I can HONESTLY say, "Man, that was a lot of fun. I wish we could do it again."

Halloween only "comes" once a year.


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## BooBoo

Thousands of Wicca have their Hand in Halloween. In Sex Only I have My Hand in Whacka


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## JustWhisper

BooBoo said:


> Thousands of Wicca have their Hand in Halloween. In Sex Only I have My Hand in Whacka



Sorry BooBoo, gotta Boo ya. LOL


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## DJ Equipment

here you can always get strange thing


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## Gym Whourlfeld

*You "Know"*

With "Halloween", it IS latex!
(They just don't know who you are.)


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## DeadED

I can do halloween with a bunch of Hot girls I don't know. Sex.. only my wife.


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## JustWhisper

My husband doesn't mind when the neighbors all stand out in front of our house and watch my halloween props and comment on what a great job I did. He gets a little testy though when they stand in our bedroom and watch and make comments.


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## Gunner

Thousands of people pay good money to watch us do the nasty! (Sometimes it scares them!) Afterwards, we all have snacks and pop, and talk about what we are going to do next year!


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## Pumpkin King

This is hilarious! XD


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## cheesehead

Halloween is better because if you get something you don't want you can throw it out immediately


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## pmpknqueen

Your hands can get a bit sticky but it's not gross to lick them off


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## JustWhisper

Your teenage kids don't think you are strange if you wear sexy costumes for Halloween.


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## Terror Tom

Wearing a costume during Halloween isn't considered weird but wearing one while....er nevermind!


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## ter_ran

*Wow! This thread is sooo funny! *


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## Gym Whourlfeld

*Halloween Better Because..*

You can obsess about it, allow it to occupy your thoughts, come on this forum and find like-minds who don't give you grief because of it AND never have to worry about going to jail or being tortured in the town square (anymore) because you thought these ways and acted upon your Halloween impulses.
No Halloween Offender Web Sites! You can still be within 300 feet of a Haunted celebration, you don't have to register with law enforcement (Yet) But, in Illinois you Do Need a criminal backround check to own or work in a Haunted House. If you have ever been arrested for soliciting a prostitute or murder or child molesting you are null & void...unless you donate your time to a charity haunt..?? Quite a dangerous loop-hole made by some simple unimaginative people on the "law-making" end of things. ??????
This also applies to carnivals and ski lodges.
But some charity haunts will be also getting backround checks on their helpers just to cover themselves...


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## maleficent

The use of props is encouraged.


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## ELH(Erin Loves Halloween)

The only protection you need is a mask !


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## CaliforniaMelanie

It lasts longer (if you do it right).


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## CaliforniaMelanie

OMG, I posted without reading first...some of these are sooooooo funny...I am literally LOLing, not internet-speak LOLing. Hilarious. Bring on more!


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## JustWhisper

If you're a haunter I really don't need to explain why Halloween is SO much better than sex. It just is!!!


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## JustWhisper

Spending 364 days looking forward to one day of Halloween is not considered unrealistic or unreasonable.


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## Gym Whourlfeld

*"Just"*

It got to be too much for me, waiting 364 nights, I mean it just doesn't make any sense. Deny yourself (and others) the pure fun of Halloween ...just because? Why? Again?
26 yrs. ago I began the long process of buying my perfect haunted house, I have now owned it 25 yrs. this year and we will be seeing our 9,000th night of being OPEN for tours here!
I named it :"The Ravens Grin Inn".
(See: hauntedravensgrin.com )
Scares played for laughs (mine first!) hahahahah!
Most of the summer and early fall alot of the house remains hidden by the mass of vines hugging the place, the entire place! Front to back, up-down-sideways! In the fall when the leaves fall off of the vine it resembles veins and arteries wrapping the house!
Those same vines (or is "The" vine?) also helps out in the backyard providing some shelter /roof for the backyard outdoor maze, also camoflauging it from the air(you never know?)
I have so many strange-funny -scary -true stories to tell people about this house & Town...and I do! (tell them)
No gore, no chainsaw ballet. I have quite a customer base from doing it my way. Recently on Facebook a patron of mine who lives 2 hrs away said he has been through my house now 85 times!


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## JustWhisper

We now return to our regularly scheduled thread topic...


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## Fancy Dress

Love them all. I'm not witty enough to come up with my own though.


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## MissMandy

It lasts longer than 20 minutes


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## Franki Stein

You don't get arrested for paying for it.


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## TK421

Your wife can scream and not feel self-concious about the kids being in th next room.


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## Johan

Things that go bump in the night don't need to happen behind closed doors.

I can do things with my wood in the front yard 

Less chance of getting arrested if done while wearing a mask

My wife is less upset about me inviting the entire neighborhood 

You can leave your fishnets hanging on the fence


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## sweetdiggity

LMAO! This thread is hilarious!!


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## Forever Haunting

My spouse is not really into it, so I do it with friends and complete strangers.


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## NIL8r

Bones will last all night, no pills needed. 

The neighbor's 30-something daughter stops by and asks if you're an artist.

You can go to a local store when you haven't received enough skull.

And finally.... None of the sheets have a wet spot!


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## Wickedqueen

If you get a stomach ache, it won't last nine months!


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## kprimm

Halloween you really can choke the chicken and it's ok.


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## jpgoodspeed

If you go pro, it's legal.
It's real easy to find a good stiff.
You can drink beer the whole time.
If you scare the neighbors kids, their parents will actually appreciate it.
You don't have to be 18 to access the forums dedicated to it.


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## BallstonManor

It's completely normal to see bats come out on Halloween.


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## OctoberDream

Every time is just as good the 1st time. (Sometimes better.)


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## JustWhisper

If your wife looks like a Hag you probably appreciate the effort she put into it.

My husband does not yell at me for getting new ideas online.

OctoberDream....good one!!!


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## retrohal

I thoroughly enjoyed reading this thread. Thanks!


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