# Lack of attendees



## HalloweeNut Productions (Sep 26, 2009)

I know your pain. I had my first party last year, and the day before the party, a TON of people I invited from school cancelled. I was heartbroken. But you know what, I still threw a small party for those who did show up, and we had fun. So here's my advice: take a year off, maybe two, then start small, and if more people start saying "I wanna come!" modify your plans to fit 'em in. I wish you best of luck, and Happy Halloween!


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## HauntedHorror (Aug 8, 2006)

Talk a lot about the good stuff you'll have in the invitation? Of course you might get a lot of moochers if you do that...

What I have been doing is telling my friends they can bring THEIR friends and family (encouraging them to do so.) 
I also often call my friends right before the party, and they will end up asking some of their friends at the last minute. I guess this would only be good if your friends have okay friends. I know most of my friends' friends and like them already, I just don't know them enough to invite them myself and expect them to come but if they know their friend will be there, they will come. That way I get more people and a more fun party.


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## Trinity1 (Sep 5, 2009)

I have found that the amount of people that attend the party doesn't equate to amount of fun had at the party. We've had a party for the past three years and always had a good turn out. That doesn't mean that my Hubby and I had the best time though. The first year was great! Second and third year we had a bunch of people in costume sitting infront of the television watching the baseball game. (Yes I am complaining about that AGAIN LOL) That wasn't fun for us...we like people to interact with one another and with what we've set up as far as decor. 

This year we're going to have just a very small Halloween get together. Maybe 4 other people? And that's that. People that we know are coming for the spirit of Halloween and really enjoy the holiday as much as we do. 

Sounds like you've had fun despite the lack of attendance...to me that's all that matters.


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## Frankie's Girl (Aug 27, 2007)

My group of friends has shrunk over the years as people move away and drifted apart. And then last party we threw, we also got hit with cancellations due to flu... 

I'd say if you still enjoy throwing a party, just invite the ones you know will come and have fun even it's only 5 people. But if it's gotten to be too much work or frustrating, then take a year (or two) off. 

I've taken the last year off, and most likely won't be throwing a party this year either (still haven't decided).


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## tinafromidaho (May 8, 2008)

I would plan the party for how ever many you invite but have fun stuff planned for you and just a couple of friends who you know will show up like some karaoke or dancing games on the wii. Then even if it is say just three of you instead of twenty, you'll still know you had such a fun time. I am hesitant about having 
parties for the same reason.


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## RunawayOctober (Jul 3, 2011)

We're hit and miss for guests sometimes too. I've come to know which ones RSVP but never show even. You're throwing the party for you. If you have a good time, that's all that matters. Why not invite co-workers? It's good bonding. I also agree with allowing guests to bring guests. I've never had issues with extras. Heck, if there's anyone in AZ free on the 22nd, you're invited to my party too!  I know you guys will appreciate the party. 

Put the word out there, talk about it often, mention how excited you are and some of the things you have planned. I start flooding my FB with the things I'm working on, wishlists , how my costume is coming, etc. Don't let people forget about it. Good friends will see how important it is to you and do their best to be there.


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## 13ghosts (Aug 16, 2008)

I completely agree that it's not the quantity of guests that decides how much fun everyone has had. I'm really great with party planning, food and decorations. But I am not good at promoting myself or my party, I have my husband to thank for that party of our party! He's so great about messaging or calling people before the party, telling them to save the date, or reminding everyone that it's only x# of days away. He gives people little sneak peeks of what our theme or decorations will be, brags to them about what I have planned, and reminds them about prizes and costumes. We've always done some sort or prizes for best costume, and last year we had prizes for best "halloween" food too.


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## boobear (Jul 2, 2009)

I've certainly been disappointed by throwing a party where absolutely no one showed up (even though they promised to). One of my very smart friends gave me an estimate for party attendance - about 3% show up that say they will for sure, and he's been right. I'm still trying to decide whether to throw a party or not this year. If I do, costumes are optional, and I remind my guests frequently how I'm looking forward to spending time with them and how fun the party will be. If it gets too frustrating and not fun anymore, it's certainly time to maybe take a year off.


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## HKitten (Sep 20, 2009)

I worry about this, it's only our second party this year. Last year I had three people not bother to show up even though they'd said they were coming, and two more who didn't come but who I'd suspected wouldn't. 

This year we've got more people who've said they're coming but there are still two or three that I won't be surprised if they don't make it. Last year we only had ten - we have a small house though - so it didn't seem like a bad thing.


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## Lea32R (Oct 16, 2008)

I just wish I had more friends who really liked Hallowe'en, ya know? None of them will even tell a ghost story FFS even though there's a prize for the best one.


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## witchymom (Oct 6, 2008)

Fun is what you make of it. 

I'm more likely to have fun with a small group of people who i really enjoy being with, than a houseful of strangers I could care less about. 

I decorate for halloween for ME... we dont get many ToT... so really the only people who see it are my kids' friends and immediate neighbors. thats ok. I do it because i love to do it. 

Have a party because YOU love to have one - whether theres 4 people or 40.


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## Lea32R (Oct 16, 2008)

I do love to have a party for Hallowe'en, but I just find it a bit dissappointing when I go to all that expense and effort and then two people show up, you know? Hosting them isn't cheap (as you guys know!)


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## DjIronic (Oct 1, 2004)

Some years are better than others. One year we had eighty people and couldn't accommodate everyone.  Another year everyone bailed last minute and we had only twenty or thirty people rotate through over the course of six hours, with no one staying for more than an hour or two. One year, everyone descended at once, drank up all the alcohol, then took off for other parties an hour later. 

A couple of things:

1) It really depends on your friends. We happen to have a lot of hard-partyin', rock-and-roll-lifestyle friends who are always looking for an excuse to go out. That really helps with our attendance. Last year, we still had at least a dozen people hanging out into the wee morning hours. But to expect friends who don't normally go out and party to suddenly perk up for Halloween may be optimistic, unfortunately... 

2) Since we put so much work into decorating every year, I do want as many people to see it as possible. However, the best social memories I have from our parties are when there was the slow trickle of people who arrived and left throughout the night. With little demand on food, drinks, coats, costumes, etc, I got to spend some good quality time with each person. That was great. Quantity doesn't always mean quality.


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## spookymulder76 (Aug 9, 2011)

I've been a large part of, and thrown my own Halloween parties since the late 90's. In the beginning when I was in my early twenties we would have, absolutely no exaggeration, 60 to 80 people show up at least. That's when I lived in a huge house with 3 other guys and we lived to party. We bought many of the decorations and offered up simple chips to eat and a keg our 2. And everybody was excited to dress up As the years have gone by my friends have gotten married, had kids, many of them have divorced, just living life. I have picked up many new friends along the way since then but have never stopped talking to the old timers. 
Nowadays we throw mostly BYOB parties with some drinks available and are centered more around food, making decorations and planning party activities. A lot of people say they don't want to come because they don't want to have to get a costume, they have forgotten how much fun we used to have and got caught up in life. 

Long story short, hype up your party send out amazing invitations. Always act excited about it when talking to your friends even when your not sure you can pull it all off. And be sure to deliver a fun experience to all, so the old timers who have gotten to "grown up" remember they can have fun too. Offer up a few activities. 
Last year we had Beer Pong, it was a ton of fun for everyone. The drinkers could drink and even those who really weren't drinking had fun watching the competition. This year we plan on having a large dance floor outside in the soon to be new garage, possibly beer pong, a Mad Lab Lounge serving up test tube and syringe shots. We have outside stuff too with smores by the fire pit. 
Though last year we didn't have a good turn out either. We're still gonna try. That's all you can do is try to get them excited and show them a good time so they'll be more apt to return next year. And it really is quality over quantity in the end.


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## RunawayOctober (Jul 3, 2011)

Maybe, Lea, you could look into making additional friends too? Maybe volunteer at a Haunted House, or join a haunt network or some such. Then you know they enjoy it as much as you do. 

Like others have said, attendance varies even with a really good group. We went through a phase where most of our friends were working weekends and third shift. There's goes ANY party right there. We've had huge amounts of people show up and it's turned into an all out drunken brawl where I'm standing in the street trying to hose real blood off the sidewalk before the cops show up while highly intoxicated in a costume. We've had small parties of ~15ish where an unliked someone shows up unannounced and people magically have to leave. And we've had big and little parties that went fabulously without a snag!

Just make the most of it. I know the disappointment well, right now 9 people have RSVP'd to our party and that includes 3 people that already live in the house  And I do all this stuff and make all these things and decorate for HOURS because, let's face it, I'm trying to impress people. I want them to Oooh and Aaah over my "skills", I want them to know that my house = good times. This year alone I've built a giant jenga set and cornhole boards, to keep people occupied, along with a fire pit and beer pong. But at the core, I don't go all out for xmas or Valentines because I LOVE Halloween. 

And so do you. Remember that.


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## Hallomarine (Aug 21, 2010)

I agree with both sides on this in the fact, that it is the quality, not the quantity, but you sound like you need a year or two off. Get invited to, or crash a party (or two) this year and next, just to see how the "other half" lives. And if you're crashing, who cares? You're in costume - just don't take off your mask! HM


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## djkeebz (Oct 1, 2005)

Lea32R said:


> I do love to have a party for Hallowe'en, but I just find it a bit dissappointing when I go to all that expense and effort and then two people show up, you know? Hosting them isn't cheap (as you guys know!)


This is my issue....I spend all this time and money planning and decorating! And every year about half the people show up and and of that half, some still don't dress up....I complain every year to my wife and she always say, "Well did you have fun?". I always do because like someone else said we need it do it for ourselves since we enjoy the season! So if you love Halloween, then do I for you and the people that really appreciate it and don't let he others bring you down!


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## Witch Hazel (Sep 6, 2008)

I agree with everyone's posts. I am facing a dilemma this year as well since there has been a "split" in our group of friends & everyone picked a side. This will most certainly impact my Halloween Party attendance this year. I am going forward with the party since I have had over 20 conf so far & that is a big crowd for us. I am very nervous about it though and I contemplate having them when I stress over it cause it takes the fun out of the whole thing. If you are ok with it, maybe you should take a year or two off and then throw a party using the suggestions on this thread to "hype" it up. I know that save the dates definitely work and I usually engage my friends my shopping trips. Whatever you decide to do, good luck. I wish more people loved and celebrated Halloween like we do!!


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## Lea32R (Oct 16, 2008)

DjIronic said:


> One year, everyone descended at once, drank up all the alcohol, then took off for other parties an hour later.


So rude! If that was me, I would straight up have made them pay me back for the booze. No BS. 

And spookymulder, I understand what you're saying about life and family stuff getting in the way - but I'm 26! And most of my friends are YOUNGER! And NONE of them have kids! So they have no excuse *grumble grumble*


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## stormygirl84 (Sep 4, 2009)

We've had these problems in the past, too. For the past few years, we've gone to parties thrown by my best friend, and they were kind of duds. The first year we went to visit her at college (in another state), and while the party certainly had no lack of attendees, we didn't actually know anyone but my friend, her roommate (also from our town) and his best friend, who had ridden up with us. We were surrounded by a bunch of younger college kids that we didn't even know. Not a lot of fun.

The next two years she was home, and attempted to throw a party with all of our friends, not realizing that most of them go to their annual CRAZY-BOOZE-FEST Halloween party. (We've been invited to said booze-fest, but it's just not our style.) So no one showed up except for me, my husband (then-boyfriend), and our buddy who'd gone up to the college with us the previous year. Four people, including the hostess. And more food than a group of 20 could have eaten. It was depressing.

So this year, the plan is different. We're having a party, but on OUR terms. The type of parties where people just sit around drinking is not fun for us, costumes or no costumes. So my husband and I will host a Halloween movie night at our place, NOT the weekend before Halloween. We're thinking the 22nd. We always have a good turn-out for our movie nights, so this should be no different. Especially considering that it's not coinciding with any other parties. We'll have Halloween-themed food, watch Halloween-themed movies, and be in costume. Good times.

My suggestion would be to try something different from the "usual" type of party everyone throws. Have a movie night, like we are, or host a "horror game" night, where you play spooky board games. (There's Arkham Horror, Betrayal at the House on the Hill, Clue, the classic Ouija board, etc.) And do it on a weekend other than the 29th.

I hope things go better for you this year! There's nothing more disheartening than having no one show up for your party.


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## star_girl_mag (Aug 5, 2008)

I have had pretty good attendance for my Halloween party every year but the summer party I used to throw every year became so poorly attended that I quit wasting my time, so I know how you feel and I steel myself every year for the prospect that people may not show up. If you are just looking for advice on increasing you attendance, or at the very least dealing with low attendance here are some tips. 

1. Encourage your friends to invite their friends. I have even asked for assistance specifically for this reason from some specific friends and told them to invite people as if it were their own party. This can be risky though. 
2. Invite TONS of people. You may find that some of your coworkers have more in common with you than just work. I will invite 150 people this year but I really only expect 50-60 people to be there. 
3. DON'T expect to see more people than have RSVPd. Remember that people are flaky and some won't show up and some won't tell you that there bringing a friend. My list of attendees is usually the same number of people that RSVP but not necessarily the same people. Don't assume that that friend who says he's bringing 4 friends will even show up. He ONLY counts as 1 and maybe it won't even be him who shows up but someone in his place who didn't RSVP. 
4. Include bribes in your invites. Let them know about the free drinks and prizes you'll be giving out. 
5. Send out you invites out early and MOST importantly of all REMIND them. Send out an email or text message or phone call just reminding everyone the week before and the day before. This is THE MOST IMPORTANT thing you can do to insure better attendance. 
6. Wait to buy food and drinks until the last week, this will save you a lot of time, money and disappointment. You don't want to overbuy. And if only a few people are coming, at least you've put yourself in that mindset and can plan accordingly to have a great time, just in a different way. If you plan everything as if there's going to be a huge group of people you are guaranteed to be disappointed but if you plan everything small and there happens to be some extra people there than you will just have to make a last minute beer and chip run. O well! 

GOOD LUCK!


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## johnshenry (Sep 24, 2006)

Some of my thoughts here:

http://www.halloweenforum.com/party-ideas-experiences-recipes/93482-human-element.html


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## 2geekygirl (Oct 4, 2007)

I agree with what others have said about the "unknown" factor of parties. Some years the flu kills it, other years there is less party competition and it's awesome, sometimes it's just a mystery ....

Taking a break, though, is a _great _idea! We did this two years ago and I finally got to fulfill a dream Halloween trip of mine - New Orleans!! I took all the money I would have spent on the party and had an unforgettable weekend. I don't regret it one bit (even though I was initially sad not to have a party) and the next year people were stoked about the party. 

I've also done things like having the party the weekend before Halloween (due to conflicts). The competition around here is intense and I was worried that people wouldn't dress up if it was early, but it was fantastic. We had a mad scientists theme, so people only had to wear a coat if they didn't want to dress up and we had quite a showing - one of the funnest parties I've had (helped by the nerdy nature of our crowd lol). 

As a final thought, next year I will have to cut the big party out due to a job change. What I decided to do instead, though, is to (again) take the money I would use for a big bash and instead have a small, fancy cocktail party. I can finally do all of the expensive drinks and fussy, fancy hors doeuvres that are just too time-consuming and expensive to do for a big event. And, it will be with a select few of our very good friends, so I know it will be great  

I hope that helps a bit!


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## johnshenry (Sep 24, 2006)

It is a crap-shoot for sure. This year will be our 18th party in 20 years. While I can say that more or less attendance has ramped up each year, the most important thing is that i think have the "mix" just right. The "snowball" effect is that you get the right, fun people there, everyone has a ball, and next year they are like "I'm not missing THAT party.." No real science to that mix, just a lot of luck. 

We have had 40-50 last 3-4 years and I just don't sweat it anymore. This year we are having a first, live music, and I hope it will be an even bigger draw. The bands drummer and vocalist have been coming to our parties the last 5 years and THEY are psyched.

My suggestion would be to comb through your social circles and find those people you know who just seem to be happy no matter where they are, the social butterflies. Allowing them to invite friends is ok if you trust them to invite the right friends. Don't be afraid to cull people off your invite list (especially) if you have invited them and then have never shown up. Or, if they have said RSVP yes and didn't show up.


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## Halloween Scream (Sep 29, 2010)

HauntedHorror said:


> What I have been doing is telling my friends they can bring THEIR friends and family (encouraging them to do so.)


 This has worked really well for me as well! For our 1st and 2nd annual parties, I told just about everyone that they could bring friends/family as long as everyone brought some drinks. It was great meeting new people, and some of them have now become friends themselves! At some point I may have to stop doing this as the party may become too big, but we'll cross that bridge when we come to it.


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## Lea32R (Oct 16, 2008)

At the moment I have 3 people confimed on facebook...and two of them are me and my boyfriend.

*massive facepalm*


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## star_girl_mag (Aug 5, 2008)

Lea32R said:


> At the moment I have 3 people confimed on facebook...and two of them are me and my boyfriend.
> 
> *massive facepalm*


It's a little early to worry, don't you think? Or are you doing a party in VERY early October?


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## Lea32R (Oct 16, 2008)

star_girl_mag said:


> It's a little early to worry, don't you think? Or are you doing a party in VERY early October?


Yes, you are right. It's just that 3 people is about par for the course so I guess I'm anticipating the worst. Maybe I should have gone for the weekend before, but I'm working most of that weekend. I've told people to bring friends but most of them have said they don't know many people...meh :-/


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## star_girl_mag (Aug 5, 2008)

Well if I lived there, I'd go. If there is a time frame that you could switch it to, that wouldn't be a bad idea. Maybe you could use this as an excuse to meet your neighbors? Then at least, no one could complain about the noise.


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## Lea32R (Oct 16, 2008)

There's a very good reason I stay away from the neighbours. Seriously.


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## Lea32R (Oct 16, 2008)

LOL well my boss is coming now and bringing her kids. Why did I email everyone at work with my address?! LOLOL.

Seriously though, it'll be fun to have some kids around because we were wanting to do some pumpkin carving beforehand, which I thought people with kids could come to. I don't know many people with kids but I do know a few so I thought doing something fun before the adults party starts would be good for them. I just hope the kids aren't too freaked out by the decorations, particularly in the yard as I was planning to have a number of scary props out there...


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## star_girl_mag (Aug 5, 2008)

See, it isn't so bad to invite your coworkers. It's early still so just remember to send out lots of invites, let people know you are planning to have awesome prizes/drinks/ entertainment then DON'T FORGET TO REMIND THEM. Good luck!


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## Halloweenie1 (Sep 28, 2008)

Lea32R said:


> I just wanted to come on and complain a bit, LOL. Every year I do a party, and every year no-one shows up....there's always the usual round of "I was tired/I couldn't be bothered" etc etc etc excuses...
> 
> It's just getting me down a bit now, to the point that I'm considering whether to bother throwing a party anymore.... I always put on loads of food and booze and do prizes for costumes and last year we had tempt your fate with REALLY good prizes (DVDs and books mostly, and boxed gifts of Hallowe'en sweets and Yankee candle samplers) and still hardly anyone showed!
> 
> Is there anything I can do...Or just give it up as a bad job?


*I don't think it has to do anything with you doing a "bad job" or your party. It sounds like you really go all the way with the gifts, games, and feast. 

It sounds like people just aren't aware of what they are missing, don't care, or are very ungrateful for the effort. Personally, that is their problem. 

It must be very frustrating and stressful to go through disappointment each year. I would say take this year off. And invest the time, funds, and effort into something Halloween, that is solely for yourself. Maybe a prop, or decor for the house, a trip to a haunted place, etc....whatever it is you enjoy about Halloween. 

Maybe next year they will come around...*.


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## Halloweenie1 (Sep 28, 2008)

Lea32R said:


> LOL well my boss is coming now and bringing her kids. Why did I email everyone at work with my address?! LOLOL.
> 
> Seriously though, it'll be fun to have some kids around because we were wanting to do some pumpkin carving beforehand, which I thought people with kids could come to. I don't know many people with kids but I do know a few so I thought doing something fun before the adults party starts would be good for them. I just hope the kids aren't too freaked out by the decorations, particularly in the yard as I was planning to have a number of scary props out there...


*OOPs! Did'nt see this post.......... I hope everything turns out well and everyone has a good time. Have fun!*


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## The Red Hallows (Sep 21, 2009)

Ah, I, too have some 'dead-beat' friends. I wonder if the effort would be better spent on inviting Halloween Forum people.  Cheer up. It happens to the best of us. So many things are factored into a party. Bad weather can be bad for a party, cold season, lack of funds, everything. Try not to take it too personally. You can always vacation in the states and just go from one HF house to another.


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