# Mandatory costume?



## Illusionist (Aug 13, 2011)

I'll be hosting my 2nd annual Halloween party this year and was thinking of making a change. Last year costumes were a must, but I know I lost attendance from some of my closer friends, so this year I might make it optional. Would this be a mistake? What do you guys do?

Illusionist


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## RunawayOctober (Jul 3, 2011)

I always ask that costumes are required. I don't think anyone has not come because of it, but some still show up costumeless. 
You can always have goofy costumes ready for people that show up with none. Sometimes that threat scares them into dressing up.


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## MissMandy (Apr 18, 2011)

This is my second year hosting a party also. On last year's invites, I put "Costumes are not required, but are highly recommended." I also noted that prizes would be given out and I listed the costume catergories. I was surprised that everyone came in costume! So this year, I'm just going to state that it was awesome how everyone dressed up and that I'm looking forward to seeing what everyone comes up with this year. As a reminder, I'll list the costume catergories again. I agree with, Runaway. If you put somewhere on the invite that a costume will be provided for them if they should happen to arrive with no costume, it may 'scare' them into it lol. Do you have a contest as well? If not, you may want to consider it. People seem to get excited at the possibility of winning something


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## printersdevil (Sep 7, 2009)

I always say costumes required. I have had a few who stretch it, but they do come as something. One year someone who works for a hospital came in a scrub suit and a male friends came in shorts, polo, visor and carried his golf club as a golfer. LOL 

I was not happy, but they did make some attempt. They were the ones who felt uncomfortable and they didn't win any of the awesome prizes. LOL


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## Illusionist (Aug 13, 2011)

Last year I did have people put their favorite costume vote in a bucket and the winners received Halloween trophies. That seemed to go over well.


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## Primrose (Aug 27, 2011)

I always have people dress up. I don't word it as a "requirement" however. I'll say something like, "Please dress as your favorite..." or "Come dressed for the occasion..." Then there isn't any kind of a negative pressure or connotation with your invitation.


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## rosella_au (Sep 23, 2010)

As others said, I put that costumes should be worn (disguises encouraged eg) but don't say required. Its been my experiance that some people just won't ever dress up but the majority will. Plus those that dont dress up at a costume party always stand out and usually learn their lesson for next year


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## kallie (Dec 4, 2007)

I just never understood why your own friends can't be team players and put on a damn costume! I had a costume party for my birthday back in May and guess what? My sister and I are the only ones that dressed up! It kinda made me mad. Sometimes I feel like people just come for the free food and booze!


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## drzooman (Jul 8, 2010)

I agree with others... though I never make it "mandatory" I always make it well known its preferred. In the invite I normally put something like... "Only those in costume will be saved from a most horrifying death. " or "costume severely advised". 

Also, I usually have a consequence if someone shows up without costume - normally like doing a gross shot or being forced to do something embarrassing. 

I feel if you make it blatantly optional people may not want to dress up for fear of being the only one in costume. Then its can be a bad domino effect for future Halloween parties as people may be less inclined to dress up.


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## offmymeds (May 26, 2010)

One of closest male friends will NEVER dress up and I would never exclude him from my party because of it, although I will never understand why you can't just throw on something!! No one says you have to spend a crap load on a costume or put all kinds of makeup on your face. And because he won't dress up neither will his wife but I'm still working on her. They were the only 2 out of around 40 people to not have on a costume last year, so overall I thought that wasn't bad.

But no, I would never make it a requirement. Just have fun!


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## Tannasgach (Nov 1, 2009)

I'm making it "mandatory" and I'm putting "Witch Attire Required" on my witch party invitations, but I'm a bitc....errr..._witch_ that way!


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## Xane (Oct 13, 2010)

I actually hate wearing costumes. I'll often "conveniently run out of time" to work on one though I simply use a grim reaper costume in that situation. And I rarely wear costumes to the big party I go to every year (though only about 50% of the people do and it's not required). So despite the fact that I love Halloween, I don't get excited about costumes. Just not really my thing.


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## Tannasgach (Nov 1, 2009)

Then it's a good thing you're not coming to my witch party Xane.  (it's a wink not a grimace). Actually, I agree with you, I always fall short in the costume department. Probably because I can't sew. _[yes I know Miss Mandy - can't cook, can't craft, can't sew.......leave me alone I have other talents. ]_ I don't like store bought costumes and I hate wearing wigs (too hot in Fla) or masks. Usually I just go to Goodwill and find an outfit then put make up on. I don't think I'm asking too much of my guests tho; all they have to do is pick up a witch's hat at the dollar store and they're in. If you get a witch's hat you can come too Xane. lol


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## Xane (Oct 13, 2010)

Warlock (yes I know the etymology means "oath breaker", but it's meant "male witch" longer than the word awful stopped meaning "awe inspiring"!). Also, if your guests don't like the traditional "old hag" witch outfit, who says witches have to dress like that? Look at movies like The Witches or outfits like Morticia's! But yeah, the pointy hat is pretty much required to convey the idea.

I really should finish editing those smileys so that wink doesn't look like "ate a lemon" and eek doesn't look like "I don't understand calculus III!"


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## MissMandy (Apr 18, 2011)

Tannasgach said:


> Then it's a good thing you're not coming to my witch party Xane.  (it's a wink not a grimace). Actually, I agree with you, I always fall short in the costume department. Probably because I can't sew. _[yes I know Miss Mandy - can't cook, can't craft, can't sew.......leave me alone I have other talents. ]_ I don't like store bought costumes and I hate wearing wigs (too hot in Fla) or masks. Usually I just go to Goodwill and find an outfit then put make up on. I don't think I'm asking too much of my guests tho; all they have to do is pick up a witch's hat at the dollar store and they're in. If you get a witch's hat you can come too Xane. lol


Wth, Tanna? lol I can't sew either!


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## Tannasgach (Nov 1, 2009)

Yeah....we need a wink and an eek! But I still love the pumpkin smileys!


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## Tannasgach (Nov 1, 2009)

MissMandy said:


> Wth, Tanna? lol I can't sew either!


lol I was referring to an earlier post on another thread  Don't mind me I'm just ornery this morning - didn't sleep well last night; kept dreaming about spiders.  (that's an eek)


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## MissMandy (Apr 18, 2011)

Something I posted? I hope I didn't offend or anything  I'm always so careful not to hurt anyone's feelings.


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## Tannasgach (Nov 1, 2009)

Nooo, Nooo, Nooo - I think it had something to do with the 'softballs' and 'thermometers'. lol I'll go look. 

_and now back to your locally scheduled thread............................._


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## MissMandy (Apr 18, 2011)

Ohhhhh! LOL I honestly have no idea wth 'softball stage' means either! It has something to do with candy making...that's all I know lol. I just typed out the recipe for ya'll as it was shown on the website lol.


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## Tannasgach (Nov 1, 2009)

I can't find that thread - do you remember what it was called?


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## clu (Nov 6, 2009)

I have a simple formula. If someone comes without a costume two years in a row, they don't get invited back.


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## Frankie's Girl (Aug 27, 2007)

I put "costume contest" on the invites, and if folks show up in costume that's great but I would never make it required. I just want people to come and have a good time, and if they can't do that because they don't like wearing a costume, or it's too expensive or they aren't creative... they won't show up. I know those are all excuses that are easy to work around, but I don't want them to decide not to come just because they'd have to spend even a moment being uncomfortable thinking about costumes...

That being said, giving killer prizes works to increase costumes. I buy fancy candy, candles, make up gift baskets and do gift cards to places like Target, and I have had people tell me they wished they had worn a costume and most likely will at a future party... so there's that to encourage participation.  BRIBE them.


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## MissMandy (Apr 18, 2011)

Tannasgach said:


> I can't find that thread - do you remember what it was called?


I think it was in your tea party thread? But I remember what you're talking about lol


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## HauntedHorror (Aug 8, 2006)

All my parties are 'costume' parties and I've never had a complaint. I always keep a box of costumes/props in case anyone needs a costume, forgets, can't afford one or can't think of a good costume. If they're not wearing one when they arrive they always make one out of that stuff. Even when I've had people bring their friends at the last minute (I encourage that because my parties are really small-- the more the merrier!) they either were wearing costumes, or they made one out of the stuff I had.
This year I am going with a Bioshock theme so I am going to suggest people wear 1940s/50s style clothes and I will have masks and fake blood available for when they arrive in case they don't know what to wear or can't find or make a mask.

One year I actually put "Scary costumes required (If you're not in costume, you will be!)" on my invitation. One of my friends showed up without a costume, so we painted his face as a scary clown (half black, half white with red accents). We all had fun with that including him.


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## Illusionist (Aug 13, 2011)

Thanks for the great feedback.

I like the idea of making the request for costumes humorous and also respecting those who love Halloween but don't do the costume thing. 

Though, like others mentioned, it kinda of upsets me that my closest friends seem to avoid my parties just because everyone else puts on costumes. 

I would love to share the fun and exciting night with my closer friends, especially with the amount of work, time, and passion I put into my parties. 

Illusionist


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## MissMandy (Apr 18, 2011)

Illusionist said:


> Thanks for the great feedback.
> 
> I like the idea of making the request for costumes humorous and also respecting those who love Halloween but don't do the costume thing.
> 
> ...


I know how you feel. It's like, people don't realize just how much we put into these parties. We're so passionate about it, that it feels like a part of us. One thing that really ticks me off is how people don't respond by the RSVP date. I send the invites through facebook so there's always a constant reminder of the party. Not to mention, as it gets closer to the RSVP date, I post a reminder AND about a week before, I'll send PMs to everyone who has yet to respond. And some people STILL do not RSVP  So this year, I'm putting this at the bottom of the invites: "A great deal of time, money and planning goes into this night for ya'll to have a spooktacular time. So, please be considerate and respond by the date below." What does everyone think? Too harsh?


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## Wolfbeard (Sep 22, 2008)

We always require costumes on our invitations. We also have a box of costume parts that those who do not come with a cotume get to pick from. The fun part is, they are blindfolded and have to pick and wear three things. These range from wigs, glasses, grannie panties, cat ears and tails, etc. There have only been two occasions where folks came to the party without costumes to see what would happen. They were good sports and wore the parts all night. After picking three parts blindfolded, they can look for additional pieces to complete the look.

This has never posed a problem. If someone does not want to wear a costume or participate in picking from the dreaded box o' parts, they are not in the Halloween Spirit and do not need to attend the party. It is their choice.

Eric

ps, MissMandy, that language may be a bit hasrsh. Regular attendees see how much effort and money go into the party. They do appreciate it. We feel that we go through the effort and expense because we are so passionate about Halloween and enjoy building the sets and props. The party is as much for us as it is anyone else. We find that 50% of the people RSVP. For those that do indicate they will attend, we usually expect double that amount to show. It has been a fairly accurate estimate for us.


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## Elise (Oct 8, 2010)

Tannasgach said:


> I can't find that thread - do you remember what it was called?


Was it this one?
http://www.halloweenforum.com/party...s/106211-your-2011-menus-share-discuss-4.html


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## MissMandy (Apr 18, 2011)

Oh yes, it may be that one, Elise! 


Eric, thank you for your input. Although I don't see it as any more harsh than making costumes mandatory, I see your point. That message that I want to put, is more for the folks that come to the party and never bother responding. It's quite rude to me. I had a handful of people come to my party that never even bothered to let me know, despite my many attempts of finding out. Not to mention some of those people brought guests with them! Anyone who throws parties knows that RSVP is there for a reason. We need to make sure we have enough food, plates, cups, favors, etc. Because those people didn't respond and still showed up, I didn't have enough favors (even though I made a few extra to be on the safe side). Oh yeah....and one of those guests that didn't RSVP had the audacity to take a favor home for her kid! If I would've known she was coming, then I would have taken it upon myself to make an extra favor for her kid. I have mixed emotions about the whole thing. If I put that on the invite, then some may percieve me as rude. Then if I don't put it, people are being rude to me. Ugh...lol


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## Wolfbeard (Sep 22, 2008)

Believe me, I feel your pain with the lack of manners regarding the RSVP request. I don't think the language is overly harsh and you know your guests better than I do!  I always have to suppress a momentary feeling of panic just before the party starts. It is the not knowing that gets me, but this is our 14th year and we have never had a major problem yet.

Eric



MissMandy said:


> Oh yes, it may be that one, Elise!
> 
> 
> Eric, thank you for your input. Although I don't see it as any more harsh than making costumes mandatory, I see your point. That message that I want to put, is more for the folks that come to the party and never bother responding. It's quite rude to me. I had a handful of people come to my party that never even bothered to let me know, despite my many attempts of finding out. Not to mention some of those people brought guests with them! Anyone who throws parties knows that RSVP is there for a reason. We need to make sure we have enough food, plates, cups, favors, etc. Because those people didn't respond and still showed up, I didn't have enough favors (even though I made a few extra to be on the safe side). Oh yeah....and one of those guests that didn't RSVP had the audacity to take a favor home for her kid! If I would've known she was coming, then I would have taken it upon myself to make an extra favor for her kid. I have mixed emotions about the whole thing. If I put that on the invite, then some may percieve me as rude. Then if I don't put it, people are being rude to me. Ugh...lol


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## Tannasgach (Nov 1, 2009)

Elise said:


> Was it this one?
> http://www.halloweenforum.com/party...s/106211-your-2011-menus-share-discuss-4.html


Yes!! Thank You Elise, don't know why I couldn't find it.  Need to get that fudge recipe off of there before I lose it again. lol


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## Halloween Scream (Sep 29, 2010)

I always put "prizes awarded for best costume" on the bottom of my invitation (this will be our third annual party). I also start talking about costumes with my closest friends a month or two before the party, which helps them avoid last-minute planning. Now that the anticipation for our party has built up, people really get excited and want to have great costumes. This feeling far outweighs any disappointment or annoyance I might have over one or two people who show up without one!


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## Illusionist (Aug 13, 2011)

Halloween Scream,

That is a nice approach.

Illusionist


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## scareme (Jan 18, 2009)

My husband refuses to wear a costume and nothing is going to change his mind. So if the party is wear a costume or don't come, I end up missing the party. It is just easier not to go, then the fight I would get if I went alone (besides I need my designated driver). I appreciate when you have a choice. That way I can dress up and have fun, and he will attend with me, just not in costume. He won't even dress for our parties. And MissMandy, I agree, it is so annoying after all we do for a party, and the only thing we ask in return is a simple yes or no. But some people never will no matter what. I guess it's just not in their wiring. I swear, my son, if we have to RSVP to get into heaven, is going to go to hell. He just can't figure that social grace out.


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## witchymom (Oct 6, 2008)

Don't get me started on RSVP's.... LOLOL

no, i don't 'require' a costume. I do put something to the effect of 'costumes encouraged.... best costume wins a prize' but no, i will not tell people they HAVE to wear one. 

I want folks to have fun, and enjoy their time here. not stress over what to wear ...


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## Edward (Sep 24, 2010)

This is a Halloween party, don't be AFRAID to require costumes for YOUR own party in the invitation. Anyone not dressing up is like someone wearing Brown Shoes with a Black Tuxedo at a formal affair. Everyone will stare at THEM, and hopefully they learn their lesson for the next party. it is just plain rude to be a party pooper, after the hosts spend lots of money, time and energy to make the event fun for all in attendance.


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## 22606 (Aug 11, 2008)

If people can't be bothered to put on the simplest of costumes, I feel that they deserve to be humiliated No, really, I don't think that it is quite _that_ big of a deal. I seriously don't get what it is with some folks, though; really not so difficult to do, and many brick-and-mortar stores offer costumes from previous years for _very_ low prices, as do online ones. Personally, I love dressing up, so I don't see why others view it as such a hassle. Would it kill them to do so for a single day?

I wish you luck with the festivities and hope that most decide to participate this time, Illusionist


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## Edward (Sep 24, 2010)

And by the way, on the subject of RSVP, if someone, even a friend doesn't have the common courtesy to reply as to wheather or not they will attend a party that cost me lots of money, time, and energy, next year no invite goes to them. We rent an 1800s Castle for our event each year and they charge us by the person when setting up the catering and the bar, So, SORRY, it's just good manners, and we make it easy for them with a phone # and an e-mail address on the invite. That's just me though.


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## 13ghosts (Aug 16, 2008)

I put costumes required on my invites, and I always mention the prizes for best costume. People do ask if they have to dress up, and I tell them yes, even if it's just a halloween t-shirt, because it's all that I ask for them to do after I work on my party FOR MONTHS... I do let them know that everyone is always in costume, so they would feel weird showing up without some kind of costume. I wouldn't send someone home, or humiliate them for not dressing up though. But I see it like expecting to be able to show up at someone's wedding in your PJ's. It's a halloween party, and if someone can't be fun enough on one night to either pick up a "this is my costume" shirt, or at least put a mask or some extra makeup on to come over, they'd probably have more fun skipping the party and staying home anyway.


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## johnshenry (Sep 24, 2006)

In 20 years of parties, we have never really had any problem getting people to come in costume. At first we used to put "costumes strongly encouraged" on invites, but we don't anymore.

We have a costume contest that the guests vote on by ballot (they can't vote for themselves) and we give away $50 gift certs (like Bed Bath and Beyond and Home Depot for best female and male costume) and then a "hosts award" to our own personal favorite that my wife and I choose. Usually a bottle of good wine or something.

Personally, the costumes we see at our parties are one of the biggest reasons I keep doing these parties. Our guests REALLY get into it and for that I am grateful.

I guess I'd say if you guest don't come in costume and you want them to, then "adjust" your guest list...


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## deadhouseplant (Aug 10, 2011)

I just put "Come in costume and high spirits" on my invites this year. Also the guy that came last year without a costume and refused to play any games didn't get an invite this year. Seriously, why go if you don't want to dress up and participate? I would rather have people not come if they don't like Halloween or having fun.


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