# How does your BYOB work?



## scarsforless (Sep 21, 2010)

Thats a tough call with the BYOB, if people bring a bottle I have noticed they don't share as much as say bringing a 12 pack. We usually buy two big bottles of something like rum or vodka and have guest bring beer, seems to work better.


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## SkellyCat (Oct 30, 2008)

Your theory is on the right track. Its unfortunate that people hid their alcohol around your house, especially people in their 30's.
Over the years we have tried different things. In our early years we never requested or even mentioned the alcohol and people showed up empty handed and were requesting all kinds of different drinks. My husband and his 2 buddies were the bartenders and were too busy to enjoy the party. Way to much work!

One year we told them we would be serving margaritas, beer & shots, and directly asked if they could bring their favorite tequila or vodka. That worked very well. (Someone even brought jello shots which were VERY popular and everyone got a little more tipsy than anticipated!)

We also have wine drinkers, which to me is difficult because I don't know anything about wine. I try to buy a couple bottles of some better known Halloweeny-looking wine, but they know to bring their favorite (no way could I keep track of that, too!) They keep it at the bar and request their wine whenever they need a refill.

This year I did not mention booze, and they brought tequila and wine. (I think I must have them trained by now!)

Was someone acting as a bartender or were they helping themselves? That might make a difference to them.


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## HeatherEve1234 (Sep 5, 2008)

We have people help themselves, so nobody gets trapped behind the bar all night. I love the idea of having people bring a specific kind of booze or wine, that is pretty great. Will definitely keep that in mind for next year!


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## Maxiboots (Aug 31, 2010)

I am so surprised that people brought alcohol to your party and hid it. Usually people ask "what can I bring to your party?" You told them, and they acted like this was something they had to keep for themselves, strange. You did say that only about half the party attenders hid their liquor. I like small parties, myself, next year I would invite the ones who shared. It sounds mean, but you went to so much trouble and expense to throw a party and it seems some did not really appreciate it.


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## propmistress (Oct 22, 2009)

Yeah.. I find this strange too 

Did you offer to take their alcohol and place it at the bar? 
Or direct them to the bar when you noticed they had alcohol?

It seems clear that you asked for alcohol for the bar, and bars at parties are for everyone

And we all learned in kindergarten that we shouldn't bring something unless we have enough to share with everyone 

I hate to say it.. but if you were clear... it might be time to get some less selfish friends

Neither my husband or I drink when we go out.... and we still bring alcohol when it is byob 

We even try to get the good stuff

We consider it a gift to the host for all of their hardwork... with the hope that they will use it to build their bar 

But I guess it could of been worse 

I had a friend who hosted a party, it was BYOB but she ended up providing most of the alcohol thinking she will just use it later

At the end of the night people started to take the semi full and full bottles thinking that they were up for grabs


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## HeatherEve1234 (Sep 5, 2008)

propmistress said:


> yeah.. I find this strange too
> 
> did you offer to take their alcohol and place it at the bar?
> Or direct them to the bar when you noticed they had alcohol? - _i directed them, the bar is downstairs (same as usual) and i'm 7 1/2 months pregnant, so going up and down stairs that much became unappealing _
> ...


edited to fix formatting - my comments in caps


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## vbpony1 (Aug 17, 2009)

We had a ton of beer and wine left over and I don't know what to do with it! We had some spirits out, but not a full bar. We should have had more mixers available. Lots of people brought beer and wine to share...no one took theirs or hid it for themselves. We're a group of late 20's to mid 40's.

Very bad form to pilfer the bar on the way out. Apparently you needed to lock everything down, like bank pens! I think your next party needs to be manners instruction.


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## Slarti (Mar 25, 2008)

That sucks. We didn't do a party this year, but in the past we've stocked stuff for a couple of types of mixed drinks, basic beer like Bud Light and made spiced wine -- anybody wanting anything different we told them to bring their own. If they want to share, great, let us know. If not (which was very few) then they were on their own.


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## Brother Grim (Oct 26, 2009)

This year I had over 100 guests and I do a BYOB and I provide a lot as well. The basic rule though is drink what you bring and help yourself to the free stuff.


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## propmistress (Oct 22, 2009)

whew... I am glad to hear that your friends are normally sooo nice annd this was an isolated event 

In this case, it probably started with one person that brought a special, expensive, or limited amount of alcohol that they didn't want to share so they brought it with them 

Once other people see that happen, they either get offended and no longer want to share their alcohol, or assume that you literally meant for them to bring just their OWN drinks

Luckily everything else went smoothly

Hopefully you can prevent this from happening next year 

P.S. I can't believe you threw a party 7 1/2 months pregnant. That is truly impressive! You must of been exhausted. I can't even imagine it.


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## Xane (Oct 13, 2010)

On one hand this is definitely *not* how BYOB is supposed to work. I have no room at my house for parties but I help out with other peoples' and throw room parties every night when I go to conventions and people are usually more than happy to leave a bottle out or toss in a few bucks for pizza. Informal parties this is fine - a more planned, invitation event the guests would be more likely to expect you to supply it. I don't have as much of a problem with people taking it at the end - I don't usually drink outside of parties - but if I go to someone else's, I always leave it unless I specifically bring something very expensive for people to try.

On the other hand I've given up on certain things: whenever I bring a bottle of amaretto some inexperienced or greedy drinker will make off with a 16 oz cup of it because they like it so much. There are a few types of liquor like that that I tend to try to ration off by leaving out a tray of shots, etc, instead of letting people get ahold of the entire bottle. Still, it seems pretty inconsiderate to hide it from everyone else - why not just stay home and drink if you're going to hoard it?


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## BWarriner (Jul 29, 2008)

Agree with the other posts, you need to make it cyrstal clear that you want everyone to bring a bottle for the party (and keep it at the bar/kitchen, etc), however, your experience sounds about on par with what I expect if I have a BYOB party. Unfortunately, you have some selfish friends that don't want to share. For the last 4 years, we've purchased all the alcohol and kegs, and furnished bartenders, but I think in the future, we may just make it BYOB and just provide setups and a limited amount of alcohol. This would save a ton on alcohol expense, bartender expense, and reduce some of the cleanup the following day (most folks would take their unfinished bottle home with them.)


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## WitchyRN (Mar 20, 2010)

I typically have BYOB.. and everyone brings what they would like to drink, I have non alcoholic punch and several punches with alcohol.. usually have a hodge podge of left overs the next day - people leave their excess beer, coolers, etc..


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## sarahrulon (Sep 24, 2010)

i had my first Halloween party ever this year and our invitations stated to BYOB or tips for the bartender. We had a full bar, including some "specialty" drinks... many people brought beer and put it into one of our community ice chests and a few brought bottles for the bar. Everyone tipped our bartender (my mom) and everyone shared everything. Nobody took anything home, out of 30 people showing up, we still had 60 beers left over (even with MANY games of beer pong)! and trust me, not a single soul was even close to staying to sober that night... I too, am really surprised people hid the stuff they brough, especially 30 somethings... like really, are you 18?


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