# I have no idea what I did wrong



## jacksmom4975 (Oct 28, 2007)

*Party disappointment*

I am right there with you.... countless hours and dollars spent for this years party only to have multiple people not even show up after RSVPing yes. How rude. We did the same as you with invitations going out a month ago and meticulous planning. I am so bummed that I am not planning to do the same kind of party next year. We invited 100 people this year in the hopes that half would show and we had well under 20. I love to decorate for Halloween so I am sure that I will do that again but I am thinking that I am going to do a dinner party next year with about 4 couples so I can concentrate on more of a 4 course meal for fewer people. I have so many appetizers left over that, like you, we won't have to cook all week. I am certainly appreciative of the folks that came and they all said that they had a great time but I can't help but be seriously annoyed at the folks that think it is Ok to just not show up or not even RSVP at all.


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## Lynn (Aug 23, 2005)

Well Mike, know how your feeling. Been there done that..... We dont have parties anymore... I just now decorate some at home and then put all my energy into the haunted house that I volunteer for every year.... Its for a good cause, they give me free rein to do what I want.... Doesnt cost me anything (much), other than time. I LOVE IT !
We have other friends that do the party thing now..... they have other friends that seem to get into it pretty well.... So I let them deal with all that goes with it.
Or parties, were fun but, I tend to have family that just doesnt seem to appreciate it like I do... and some of our friends don't quite get it either..... So, now we to to thier party, I spend time and money on our costumes, but they get the headache and clean up of it all.

Sorry to hear that it seemed like a bust..... Sometimes, it only seems that way..... people may later talk about how much fun they had. Also, it could just have been ONE OF THOSE NIGHTS.. it happens, where it just doesn't come together @!


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## MikeCuCu (Aug 27, 2007)

jacksmom4975 said:


> I love to decorate for Halloween so I am sure that I will do that again but I am thinking that I am going to do a dinner party next year with about 4 couples so I can concentrate on more of a 4 course meal for fewer people. ......I have so many appetizers left over that, like you, we won't have to cook all week. I am certainly appreciative of the folks that came and they all said that they had a great time but I can't help but be seriously annoyed at the folks that think it is Ok to just not show up or not even RSVP at all.


WONDERFUL IDEA!! I may have to try the dinner party thing as well..it is worth a shot!! 

It's times when things don't turn out as planned... that makes ya think of better ways of doing things  

I agree with you on the people who don't show up and don't RSVP... I think it really shows a lack of respect .. and I understand when work things come up or something else may get in the way.... but a call would be nice... 


I guess it could have been a lot worse ... *thinks positive*


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## wilbret (Oct 8, 2004)

I think your experience is happening all over. People have no manners any more - telling you yes or no doesn't cross their minds, regardless of your friendship. 

I'm going to most likely move the party date from a Friday to another night so it doesn't conflict with church and school functions, and also make it family oriented. We won't decorate the house elaborately and we won't spend a day cooking.


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## The Patriot (Aug 1, 2005)

I posted here two years ago on how I planned a party much like yours and did E-Invitations and everything to make it super easy for everybody. My wife and I invided over 70 people from all walks of life and areas, hoping half would show. After only 2 RSVPs came in I cancelled it with 4 days to go. I wasn't going to kill myself by doing what you went through. 

I got tired of hearing, "I don't like to dress in costumes" or "Do we have to wear a costume"...etc.

I honestly don't know how Halloween continues to be such a huge money maker when peoples spirit to celebrate or have fun dies after the age of 25. Of course I'm not talking about us here...just people in general.

People are so busy in life now days that even when something is 100% planned for them and all they have to do is show up...it's sad to say that even that is asking too much. It still doesn't excuse bad manners in not RSVPing though.

The Patriot


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## MsMeeple (Aug 21, 2004)

Our party went really well. Everyone rsvp-ed and only one didn't show due to illness. One of my neighbors attended which was really nice...unexpected...but nice. We always invite the neighbors, all 3 of them lol, because of all the noise we make. But none of them ever come. This time the woman who lives across from us came and brought her boyfriend. She threw together a costume at the last minute and made her boyfriend the 'prince of garbage' haha Wrapped him in a garbage bag with a cross and a mouse on him...oh yeah and blood of course. The neighbor who lives on the left side of us happened to be outside during the party and I just happened to see her, so I asked her to come drink a beer with us and take a look at what we do. She did! She only stayed a few minutes but thought it was so cool that she promised to come next year.
We also had a guest who found Pieter's props so great that he wants to help him build some next year. He stopped by today with his daughter to show her the props and decoration and even helped Pieter take down the tent.

So things are looking positive here in the Netherlands 

MsM


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## RedSonja (Sep 18, 2004)

Mike, I TOTALLY understand what you went thru this year. My party was a total bust last night. After all the months and hours of work, time and money. I put my whole spirit into this thing and it hurt me to have such a bad turn out. I am through with it.

And I can't stand the rudeness of people not showing up when they said they would. These people were friends and family, who know full well how much effort and planning goes into this thing. I am so tempted to email each and every one of them and give them a piece of my mind.

Screw them.


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## AngelEye (Oct 10, 2007)

wilbret said:


> I think your experience is happening all over. People have no manners any more - telling you yes or no doesn't cross their minds, regardless of your friendship.
> 
> I'm going to most likely move the party date from a Friday to another night so it doesn't conflict with church and school functions, and also make it family oriented. We won't decorate the house elaborately and we won't spend a day cooking.


My husband and I had thought about doing this previously but you know... We didn't want to change the way we do things just to see if people would come now. They make excuses because they don't want to go period. Most of the time we find that nothing is actually keeping them from showing up except the need to sit at home alone watching tv. So from last year to this year, we tried a little reverse psychology on our friends. We didn't invite anyone who didn't respond at all or responded yes and didn't show. A few people caught on to this and word spread. The afternoon before the party, almost every last guest had responded to the e-vite that they were coming. Even my 'undecided' responses showed up, with other friends in-tow. Overall about 35 people out of the 40 we invited came. It was a great turn-out. The last person left at about 3am.

Before we threw our own parties, we of course used to attend other friend's parties. One in particular we went to completely stunk. NO drinks were left by the time we got there, (which was only an hour after it started), BAD music, and worst of all, NO toilet paper, napkins, or paper product of any kind. It was the worst party experience of my life. My husband and I vowed from that moment on we would never throw such a half-assed party.
We made it known to the people we knew that our parties were complete. ALL food, drinks, entertainment, decor, sleeping accommodations, toiletries were taken care of. You only had to bring yourselves. And we delivered.. our parties are and always were a blast! We make sure everyone has some form of entertainment to keep them occupied. Movies, Games, Music, Sitting areas, Food, Drink, Dancing, it's all there.

From then on when our friends hear we are having a party, they know they won't have to want for anything and that it is sure to be a great time! 

BTW - I LOVE the dinner party idea! Changing things up a bit keeps everything interesting! Idea!! Beetleguise theme!


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## Ghostess (Sep 8, 2005)

I know how ya feel -- the first party I had I invited probably 50 people and only about 7 showed up. I was so bummed out, and had SO much food. I had enough food to feed every family on my street (about 30 homes). I threw most of it out. Every year since then gets bigger and bigger, and I do a lot of work for it all. I have a different set of friends now, plus so many other guests, like my neighbors on my street, that I don't worry about attendance. It's just a lot of work though, and if I didn't LOVE decorating and making the food (I'm a closet entertainer...lol) I'd just stop. Of course, now everyone looks forward to it every year, so I'd get complaints!


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## bloodhungry blond (Oct 2, 2007)

We stopped having parties all together. People would complain they did not want to come if they had to wear a costume, can you imagine? It;s a halloween party, everyone will be in costume, but they would feel stupid if they wore one. I don't understand people ... I now focus my effort on my yard haunt, my costume, my kids costumes. The money I save on not having that party....I use it to put treat bags together for the local nursing home residents, and have my twin boys deliver them at the residents dinner time.


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## Push Eject (Oct 11, 2005)

Sometimes we throw parties for the wrong reasons or for the wrong people.

Once my wife and I stopped trying to own the Holiday Party and started scaring the crap out of people, our home became the only place to be on Halloween night.

Weird.

Push E.


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## masonjar (Oct 8, 2007)

*party letdowns (not always)*

I had my party saturday. It was a Zombie Theme and like many of you, i sent invites out a few weeks ago and then a couple reminders from then til the paty. This year i had the lowest attendance. And of course this was the year i spent the most. I gave gift card cash prizes this year in hope that those that came this year would come again next year. It is definately a let down when so much time goes into it. The part that hurts the most are when your closest friends do not come or even RSVP. I am feeling what you all are feeling when the party does not go as planned. 

However, those that came mentioned it was the best party yet. And we did have a really great time! So, i have hopes that not every year will be a low turnout. I also have decided to change how i invite next year. Something more specific to each person to get a response back. 

Anyway, hold your heads high everyone. We love this Holiday and most of it is for our own enjoyment. Keep spreading Halloween cheer and you won't always have a bad year.


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## jacksmom4975 (Oct 28, 2007)

> Anyway, hold your heads high everyone. We love this Holiday and most of it is for our own enjoyment. Keep spreading Halloween cheer and you won't always have a bad year.


You are right! I realized that I was spending too much energy being bothered by the folks that didn't show up and not enough on the good time that we all had. The rude folks won't be invited next year and we will focus on a smaller more spirited group. It isn't quantity but quality. I decorate and go crazy for halloween because I love it and I will continue to share my enthusiasm.


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## Jackielantern (Oct 31, 2005)

Sorry to hear that Mike.

I really don't think people have a clue how much work is put into it.


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## Boo_Dacious (Oct 13, 2005)

Jackielantern said:


> Sorry to hear that Mike.
> 
> I really don't think people have a clue how much work is put into it.


I'm with Jackie... So sorry to hear about the party troubles.

.. and really, people don't realize how much goes into it until they actually SEE it. Well.. MOST people realize once they see it, but not all.

Keep treading water and flakey people... don't quit!


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## Jackielantern (Oct 31, 2005)

Mike - I forgot to say.......you probably didn't do anything wrong.

Not sure what your age is, but if you have a lot of friends with kids that makes it tough. Life is busy.


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## REV (Oct 26, 2007)

Yep, I have to agree with everyone on this. Throwing a party is very difficult and tremendously time consuming. I am paid to put on parties. (LOL) I work in a place where there is a party for just about everything you can imagine, at least twice a month. I have a hard time keeping them straight! Which invites go to whom, which decorations go to which... From all the parties I have put on, I can honestly say that the growing trend of the 'younger' generation is that of a lack of courtesy and respect. You would not believe how many people do not RSVP and then show up unannounced or RSVP and then do not show! The sad thing is that (as you know) attendance that is but one of the troubles with throwing a celebration. You think Halloween parties are bad. Try weddings!!! Spider webs and graveyards don't give off a very weddingish type feeling. I would bet that some of you could really do an amazing wedding celebration though! 

I am sorry for your struggles!!! I wish that there were people like you closer to my neck of the woods! I would love to go to a Halloween party (that wasn't corporate sponsored with all its guidelines and rules) especially one you put on! They sound rockin!!! Nope the best I can hope for around here is decorating the front yard and scaring the begeebers out of kids. (And I do so love that!)


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## spooky little girl (Aug 22, 2006)

as I see it.....the people who want to come, will come. I am satisfied having less than 20 people, even though I was expecting more like 30, because those 20 really wanted to be there. AND more importantly put excellent effort into their costumes. Sometimes my naysayer husband wonders why I put all this effort into a party....but it's part of the fun of the season. Playing games this year, I think, made people participate more and stay later. AND the fact that the world series was playing on the porch, it was a warm night and I live in Massachusetts!!


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## johnshenry (Sep 24, 2006)

I'll chime in here with my .02.....

We have done parties the last 15 years, with the exception of 2004, the year we moved to our new house. In 2005 we invited 80 people and got 16. But I wasn't too into it and really didn't get to carried away with the decorations (1st party in a new town).

But last year we invited over 100 and a got about 50. I was really pumped. I went nuts with the house and the special effects. This year we invited about 120+ and got maybe 42 or so. Still was a good party but not as good as last year. We had 3-4 who RSVP'ed they were coming but didn't show. For me, if I get 30 or so FUN people, I really don't care who else shows up.

We had 17 out of 60 invites (remember invites went to mostly couples) not even RSVP, and 3 of them were our immediate neighbors!!!

And this was one of the first years that I can remember that we didn't turn the clocks back party night. I always thought that people would stay later then, but this year people stayed the latest with our "hard core" group leaving at 1:15 (we are a 40's+ crowd mostly!!).



You didn't do anything wrong, don't blame yourself. Party attendance will wax and wane each year, count on it. 


My tips are this:

Always prepare yourself for a smaller (if not tiny) turnout. Try to get a sense of who is coming early on (people who you will know will come when they say they are). "Write off" the rude people who don't RSVP or come when they say they are. If they are not fun, drop them from the invite list next year.

I have found that we build a critical mass of friend who love Halloween, love our parties, and when we ask them if they are coming, they say "You kidding? I wouldn't miss it for the world!". Insist they come, tell them you are counting on them. Tell them to bring other fun friends if they want.

People are busy and have other lives. We still get regulars who sometimes can't won't make it once or twice (but at least they tell us).

Follow up after invites with the people who you WANT to come, ask if they are coming if you don't hear from them. Tell them you need a good count so you can plan food, drink, etc.


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## Bundy (Aug 2, 2006)

This seemed to be the case everywhere. We had no trick or treaters anywhere tonight. Very few people went to parties or to bar events. The Halloween stores still have a ton of stuff! (Great for me, when the sales begin tomorrow!). I just think this year may have been an off year...


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## Lauriebeast (Oct 26, 2003)

I don't bother with parties anymore. It's just too much work and expense for me. I do, however, decorate the inside as well as the outside simply because I love to look at it. I really don't care if anyone else see it, although a couple of friends and neighbors always come by for a visit and we'll have drinks and appetizers and then go out to dinner.


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## colmmoo (Jul 23, 2005)

I hear ya. We had a good turnout BUT most people left, as usual by 9:30 pm. (start time was 7 pm with most people coming at 7:45 pm). I even had a magician (specialized in close-up magic) come to the house but he couldn't come until 10 pm. The 10 people who remained out of the 60-65 enjoyed the magic show. We had kids at our party so when one set of parents left with their kids, there was a sudden mass exodus of parents and kids after that. 

I'm happy that we had a good turnout but I feel as though I had spent waaaay too much time decorating every room and preparing for it for people to leave so early. Not sure if people even notice these things. I could've hung up a paper skeleton on a wall and it wouldn't have mattered to them, I don't think.


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