# Open House vs. Usual Party



## Halstaff (Nov 8, 2009)

We have a kids and family open house on Friday and then have our adults only party on Saturday night. Many of the people with kids show up both nights which is exactly what we want. That way the kids get to see it and the adults have a night to themselves.


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## colmmoo (Jul 23, 2005)

Thanks! Do people wear costumes to the open house?


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## Halstaff (Nov 8, 2009)

We don't ask for costumes to be worn at the open house but quite a few people did wear them, especially the kids.
Costumes are required for the adult party.
Having 2 parties in addition to setting up for Halloween is definitely more work but we get to enjoy it for 3 days!


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## GhostTown (Jul 6, 2011)

I hesitate to ask this...... but did you serve booze??


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## dee14399 (Aug 24, 2010)

I had the same problem last year. Tons of people came, ate, looked at the decorations and then left.
We didnt serve booze because almost everyone has kids. Since everyone had kids I dont know how many would show if 
We made it an adults only party. This year Im going to try and serve booze and we are setting up our whole upstairs
for the kids.(no decorations, kid movies, snacks, and blankets and pillows on the floor.) That way they have somewhere to go thats not scary.
I wanted to do an open house this year but my hubby is worried that people will just come to that and not the actual party. We will see how
it goes this year.


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## colmmoo (Jul 23, 2005)

GhostTown said:


> I hesitate to ask this...... but did you serve booze??


 Oh, yeah, loads of it!  The only difference I can find is that most of the kids that we invited with their parents are now pre-teens, so maybe that had something to do with it. Not sure. There was a time when all those kids were into Halloween and now they think they're too cool for it.


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## Madame Leota (Sep 19, 2005)

Honestly, I gave up hosting parties years ago. I would work myself to death decorating and preparing food and games to entertain these people, only to have them not show up at all or make an appearance and act like they were doing me some big fat favor. Sounds a lot like what you've experienced. If you choose the open house approach, I would be prepared for the eat and run crowd. I also would not plan activities, since you don't know who will be there or for how long. To me, the open house actually sounds like more work than a regular party. At least with a regular party you know when most of your guests will arrive and leave. Good luck, whichever you choose!


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## colmmoo (Jul 23, 2005)

We've had kids and adults at our parties throughout the years - always with booze and it's up to the parents to bring their kids if they don't think they'll be too scared. All of the kids who've been coming to our parties had been going to our Halloween parties since they were young so they weren't scared - guess I exposed them at a young age, lol. Anyway, I think that adults may find it a hassle to look for a babysitter for their kids on a busy night but at the same time they would like to go to an all-adults party so they can relax.


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## colmmoo (Jul 23, 2005)

Madame Leota said:


> Honestly, I gave up hosting parties years ago. I would work myself to death decorating and preparing food and games to entertain these people, only to have them not show up at all or make an appearance and act like they were doing me some big fat favor. Sounds a lot like what you've experienced. If you choose the open house approach, I would be prepared for the eat and run crowd. I also would not plan activities, since you don't know who will be there or for how long. To me, the open house actually sounds like more work than a regular party. At least with a regular party you know when most of your guests will arrive and leave. Good luck, whichever you choose!


 OMG, that's exactly how I feel - "work myself to death decorating and preparing food and games to entertain these people, only to have them not show up at all or make an appearance and act like they were doing me some big fat favor"! So what was their reaction when you stopped having the parties? Were some people sad or didn't care?


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## GhostTown (Jul 6, 2011)

If you guys have booze, then I'll come to your parties! 

I'll even dress up and stay!


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## Xane (Oct 13, 2010)

Judging by the amount of people who have been posting threads about (how unreliable their "friends" are), er, how disappointed they've been with their parties in the last few years,  we should just start organizing regional parties for Halloween Forum members in large cities. Rent out part of a convention center or a Shriner/Elks/Moose/etc lodge, get $10-20 from everyone to cover costs and to be sure people are serious about going.

Either that or start a national Halloween Forum convention...


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## MissMandy (Apr 18, 2011)

Personally, I wouldn't do an open house because of the chew and screw factor! People are more inclinded to eat and run at open houses (so friggen rude regardless of what ya call it). I'm sorry you went through that  The big issue with my party is getting people to RSVP. It drives me up a wall, I tell ya! I've mentioned it before in other threads, so apologies for sounding like a broken record  But it really does drive me insane. I send my invites out a good 5-6 weeks before the party. Everyone I invite is on facebook, so I just create an event on there and send them to individual people. A couple of weeks before the RSVP date, I post a couple of reminders to the news feed for anyone who hasn't RSVP'd, to please do so. Then about a week before, I send personal messages to anyone who still hasn't responded. So, no one has the excuse that they forgot.....or I should say, no one SHOULD have the excuse that they forget (although I still hear it). It's just so rude to me. Is it really THAT difficult to click 'yes' or 'no'? What plucks my nerves even more, is a couple of people that never RSVP'd actually showed up to the party! Hello...there's a reason why I have an RSVP there! We need to make sure we have enough food, beverages, plates, cups, favors, etc. Thankfully, I always go overboard with food, so that wasn't a problem. But I ended up not having enough favors. To top it off, one of the people who didn't RSVP, ended up taking an extra favor home for her kid! Talk about rude


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## GhostTown (Jul 6, 2011)

CHEW AND SCREW!!!!! ROFLMAO!!!!!

That's a new one for me!!!


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## moony_1 (Sep 25, 2009)

I'm currently debating having an adult party this year...I hold a kids playgroup every year, and now it's gotten to the point where I feel I'm being taken advantage of, I try to give a wonderful spread, but last year, I asked for people to bring some type of snack for the kids/parents to share (potluck!) most of the guests showed up empty handed and said "oh, you always put on such a great spread, I didn't bother"...those who DID show up and "brought" something...well, let's just say there wasn't much thought put in (one person brought a bag of grapes (half were eaten by her kids already) and the other brought a twelve pack of juice boxes (for thirty plus people). I just hope I don't end up with the same kind of thing with an adult party :S


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## moony_1 (Sep 25, 2009)

also, for those of you who have had adult parties (no children) what did you do with your own kids? mine are four and two, so I'm worried about what to do if they wake up? bring them down to look at the costumes? have a bite to eat, then send them back to bed, or not even bring them down in the first place? thanks


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## MissMandy (Apr 18, 2011)

moony, someone suggested in another thread (forgive me, I can't remember who suggested this or what thread it was in) to have a spooky food contest. This gives everyone an incentive to bring a dish AND get creative with it  You could make up a basket of treats or movies, etc as the prize


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## grogan81 (Sep 27, 2010)

We have been having an open house for the last few years after TOT and it has actually worked well. We just invite people to come over and hang out awhile. We have some food and some drinks, watch some movies,and just visit. No games,no costumes are required(although my wife and I dress up and some others do too). Some people bring food to share although we don't ask them to. People can stay as long as they want,we don't care. We just want to share the holiday with friends and family. It has become a tradition now and we usually have a good turnout. So don't put all this pressure on yourself. Our open house is a lot more laid back than when we had formal parties. The parties just stressed me out. Now we just go to other peoples' parties if we're invited. Just make your event as laid back as possible is my advice.


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## moony_1 (Sep 25, 2009)

I like the food contest idea  thanks for that! yeah, it was a bit of a let down to have that kind of effort put in when for a few years I have been putting tonnes of effort in for them as guests, but not get even a second thought when I ask them to help :S


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## MissMandy (Apr 18, 2011)

I completely understand. It can be quite upsetting when some folks simply do not give a $%@#.


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## colmmoo (Jul 23, 2005)

Your responses are so funny!!! "Chew and screw"!!! LOL 

Anyway, totally understand where you are all coming from. Regarding RSVPs, I think that those who don't RSVP right away are just unsure of whether they want to attend or not, as though there might be an event better than yours. 

It is horrible thinking that some people kinda feel obligated to go too so they just "chew and screw." 

Maybe I'd be better off just inviting a smaller group who I know really enjoy the parties? What do you think of that? I've been inviting our neighbors too and it's been too crazy. Wonder how those left out of the invite will feel?


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## MissMandy (Apr 18, 2011)

Oh, of course I don't expect people to respond right away. But do I expect them to respond by the RSVP date? Damn skippy I do! I invite a good 40+ people. Last year only 15 came. Hoping for a few more this year, but it was still a blast with only 15. The people that matter the most always show up. Maybe you should give that a try and only invite the people closest to you. Then you can see if anyone not invited ever mentions anything to you.


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## Sidnami (Apr 26, 2010)

Here's a good suggestion. Find out who else likes to have a Halloween party or who is the most popular. Team up with them. Suggest to them to invite their friends to your party and your friends to theirs. By doing this, you have a better chance of success on how many will show up and make new friends in the process. 

The whole point of you throwing a party is for you to have fun with what you are into. So who cares if only a few show up or they don't stay long enough. If that were the case, I'd just make a note to cut back on food and drinks next year. Do this for you.


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## Xane (Oct 13, 2010)

Personally, I have things going on in my life where I never know what I'm able to do more than a day or two ahead of time, and even then I may have to cancel at the last moment. But I always RSVP if I intend on going. Would you rather have RSVP no-shows or no-RSVPs that show up?


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## MissMandy (Apr 18, 2011)

Well, the people that are considerate enough to RSVP are equally considerate to let me know if something comes up and they can't make it. I understand people's lives/jobs sometimes won't allow an RSVP until a day or two before the party. But a quick message to let me know the situation wouldn't hurt either. And I'm not talking about people who hardly ever log into fb. These are people that are on every day lol. So I don't think I'm asking too much.


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## Tannasgach (Nov 1, 2009)

Xane said:


> Personally, I have things going on in my life where I never know what I'm able to do more than a day or two ahead of time, and even then I may have to cancel at the last moment. But I always RSVP if I intend on going. Would you rather have RSVP no-shows or no-RSVPs that show up?


What about the people who say they are coming but then don't show?  At a house party, I could care less. I add up the amount of people invited then prepare for half. I figure we could always make a beer run or order pizza if needed.  It's when I'm planning a dinner party, with a limited guest list, that people who say they will be there don't come that pisses me off.


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## krnlmustrd (Oct 14, 2010)

MissMandy said:


> moony, someone suggested in another thread (forgive me, I can't remember who suggested this or what thread it was in) to have a spooky food contest. This gives everyone an incentive to bring a dish AND get creative with it  You could make up a basket of treats or movies, etc as the prize


I feel awkward asking people to bring food to a party, but this seems like a great way around that! Good idea!


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## MissMandy (Apr 18, 2011)

krnlmustrd said:


> I feel awkward asking people to bring food to a party, but this seems like a great way around that! Good idea!



I know what you mean. I usually don't ask anyone to bring food either. Just BYOB, although I usually have punch and some kinda shot for everyone. But if I ever do make our Halloween party a pot luck, I'll be using this method for sure.


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## cinders (Oct 12, 2003)

I've been hosting an open house on Halloween for the past several years. I make lots of chili and other stuff, and people always end up bringing food items too. Coffee and soft drinks only. I invite the neighbors, but they never really come in. I pass out flyers at several groups I'm involved with so I never really know how many people to expect--I don't ask for RSVP. Just give them the time frame. Some people wear costumes, which makes it more fun. Most of the people come and stay to eat and socialize. I do not have to entertain them--I'm busy with the TOTs and such and I pretty much state that on the flyer that its a serve yourself deal. The guests are also "encouraged" to help with the TOTs.

I like the open house idea because it adds more festivity to my Halloween holiday, but doesn't require me to have to do as much work like thinking up games and such. The guests entertain themselves, eat and run or stay and socialize. I don't have the expectations or the let down factor as if I'd planned a huge party and only a few came. The chili is easy to make in huge quantities, and if I don't use it all I just freeze the leftovers.


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## Maxiboots (Aug 31, 2010)

I had 2 parties last year, one with invited guests on Sat night, and then since Halloween was Sunday I had an open house for the neighbors during and after trick or treating. I figured since the house was already decorated why not? The open house was a pot luck, and I thought it went pretty well, and the neighbors stuck around for a few hours. 
I do not have a problem with people not showing up, or showing up without RSVPing. Maybe because I have an older set of friends, but more likely because if someone does not RSVP, or says they will come and then don't, I don't invite them again. I agree with Miss Mandy, even if you are terrible busy you can let me know a few days ahead of time if you can make it.


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