# Inappropriate Costume - How to handle



## wensteve (Apr 9, 2012)

So a friend brought a friend to our party this year and he was dressed up as the KKK. What would you do if you saw this at your party? I uploaded a tone of photos to some social media accounts and every time I have to through them and make sure this costume is not in any of the pics. I'm so embarrassed. Here he is in my kitchen.


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## Regions Beyond (Sep 11, 2010)

Simple: if you specifically did not invite them, tell your friend that did why it strikes you as unacceptable (racism, obviously) and then ask the person to leave since it's your home and private property if unwilling to change to civilian clothes, as that's commonly considered offensive most everywhere nowdays.


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## Wolfman (Apr 15, 2004)

We had a thread here a while back of a cute little toddler dressed up as Hitler. Not well received. But this character is an adult. How could ANYBODY consider that getup as "funny"?

How to handle it? That's an awkward one...


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## Stochey (Sep 22, 2009)

Yeah... I saw pics of two different parties on my FB feed with people as KKK members and one of someone in blackface last year. Unbelievable.


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## Rural Scarecrow (Oct 22, 2014)

Since the friend brought this person, I would go directly to the friend and explain you find it offensive, not funny, and it's obvious that it would make other guests feel the same way. The friend needs to leave with them since I am assuming they drove together, or they need to ask the party crasher to simply remove the costume. Not sure what the entire costume looked like, but at least the hood. The friend needs to be held responsible for bringing them.


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## tgoodman (Sep 25, 2009)

It's baffling that anyone would consider that an appropriate costume, especially coming to a party at someone's home he didn't know. If it were my party, I would ask my friend and his guest to join me in another room, privately, and explain why we find the costume offensive. He would be given the opportunity to take it off (assuming he had something underneath) or leave, no hard feelings. It's just ridiculous that people put others in these kinds of situations. Makes me glad I didn't tell the guests we have coming to bring more people if they wanted. We don't need the kind of random BS that often comes with unknown guests!


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## CherryBrandy79 (Nov 20, 2013)

Next year try putting it on your invitation "Please no rude or offensive costumes" in small print. Also put on there any questions please feel free to ask. Then if someone shows up with a costume like that go ahead and ask them to leave.


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## tgoodman (Sep 25, 2009)

CherryBrandy79 said:


> Next year try putting it on your invitation "Please no rude or offensive costumes" in small print.


 The problem is that everyone has a different idea of what is "rude or offensive". Then, you make everyone worry whether their slightly risque costume meets that criteria and you put everyone on edge. As well, if a person is stupid enough to wear a KKK costume to a party he's for damn sure too stupid to pick up on any hints given on the invitation about what's appropriate.


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## dawnski (Jun 16, 2012)

Is it possible he went as some kind of video game character? The rest of the costume does not look like a KKK costume, but it's hard to tell.


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## Skeletoncrew (Oct 10, 2013)

Wow, talk about tasteless!  I'd pull the friend that brought them aside and have a heart to heart.


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## zombieprincess (Nov 1, 2013)

It's Halloween, maybe they thought it was funny because it's Halloween? You know, the holiday where people of all ages dress as murderers and ghosts and demons and such. Did anyone else at the party say anything to this person about the costume being offensive? Like Dawnski said, maybe it was actually some weird video game character?


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## The Real Joker (Sep 8, 2008)

That is very rude and offensive. I would have asked them to leave. 
Sorry, It's clearly not a video game character.
And I've played a lot of video games. It's a KKK costume - anyone can see that.


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## LaBruja (Oct 16, 2010)

I would bet if he had been asked he would have claimed to have been something else.The hood, even though it is so oddly tall, screams KKK but the rest of the outfit..with the red suspenders and yellow..button? Say clown. But you cannot convince me he wasnt looking for a reaction. And I have to say..what kind of friend ...the one you invited...would bring that to your house? Guilty by association imo


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## psox16 (Jun 6, 2009)

tgoodman said:


> It's baffling that anyone would consider that an appropriate costume, especially coming to a party at someone's home he didn't know. If it were my party, I would ask my friend and his guest to join me in another room, privately, and explain why we find the costume offensive. He would be given the opportunity to take it off (assuming he had something underneath) or leave, no hard feelings. It's just ridiculous that people put others in these kinds of situations. Makes me glad I didn't tell the guests we have coming to bring more people if they wanted. We don't need the kind of random BS that often comes with unknown guests!


I think you nailed it, tgoodman. "It's just ridiculous that people put others in these kinds of situations." Not only is the costume blatantly offensive and tasteless, but the fact that this party goer didn't think to consider the position he would be putting the host into is horrible. People are so inconsiderate these days. What was supposed to be a fun, care-free Halloween party is now tainted by an uncomfortable memory. 

I pray I'm never in this position! This is why I keep a few costume pieces out the night of the party, in case somebody needs to change or forgets a costume.


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## oaklawn Crematory (Jun 25, 2010)

Its only what u make of it.....I find the slutty outfits far more irritating than that....It wouldnt bother me abit about it.


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## Icepick (Nov 24, 2013)

I know it's only one photo, but every face that you see in it, including the clown mask, is smiling (hard to tell if Slash is smiling, even the real Slash). Who knows how many drinks in at this point, but based on the photo, it looks like it was a good time.


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## tgoodman (Sep 25, 2009)

psox16 said:


> I think you nailed it, tgoodman. "It's just ridiculous that people put others in these kinds of situations." Not only is the costume blatantly offensive and tasteless, but the fact that this party goer didn't think to consider the position he would be putting the host into is horrible. People are so inconsiderate these days. What was supposed to be a fun, care-free Halloween party is now tainted by an uncomfortable memory.
> 
> I pray I'm never in this position! This is why I keep a few costume pieces out the night of the party, in case somebody needs to change or forgets a costume.


My significant other is high ranking in the Sheriff's Office. If pictures got published that we had and condoned someone dressed as the KKK at our party the media would have a field day with that. We wouldn't have let this person stay for 3 seconds, let alone the whole party.


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## tgoodman (Sep 25, 2009)

oaklawn Crematory said:


> Its only what u make of it.....I find the slutty outfits far more irritating than that....It wouldnt bother me abit about it.


Everyone has to make that determination for themselves, of course, but when your significant other is high ranking in law enforcement, it's potentially career ending to have a person dressed that way at your party. It was reckless, thoughtless and stupid to come dressed that way not knowing the person whose party you're attending.


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## talkingcatblues (Jan 30, 2009)

LaBruja said:


> I would bet if he had been asked he would have claimed to have been something else.The hood, even though it is so oddly tall, screams KKK but the rest of the outfit..with the red suspenders and yellow..button? Say clown. But you cannot convince me he wasnt looking for a reaction. And I have to say..what kind of friend ...the one you invited...would bring that to your house? Guilty by association, imo


That's what it strikes me as - that he was trying to be funny ("Ku Klux Klown") but didn't have the costume making skills where it would be more obvious. Possibly an idea to think twice before going with, though? Even if no-one reacted badly, a: "pun" costumes are rarely really funny anyway, and b: like some here have said, that gets tagged on Facebook and it could potentially unjustly hurt other party-goers or throwers career-wise (cops, teachers, etc) despite their hardly even knowing the guy. 

All over now though, so at this point I would just delete the photos he's in, including maybe this one.


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## Hilda (Jul 31, 2011)

I am speechless. Yipes.


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## Danny-Girl (Aug 29, 2012)

I'm a Black lady from the South He and the friend who invited him would be Dead today


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## ooojen (Sep 4, 2014)

He might try to pass it off as one of the traditional outfits from Holy Week in Spain (pre-KKK) but... yeah... beyond awkward and insensitive. I don't even want to imagine what he was thinking.
Interesting side note with a hint of irony-- the pointy Spanish Capriote hats were intended to be demeaning and indicate the wearer was low, bad, or stupid. Criminals were paraded in them, and regular penitent folks wore them during Holy Week for kind of an emotional self-flagellation.


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## ichasiris (Aug 8, 2014)

Hard for me to say what I would do personally, if it were my party. I would probably project immediately "WTF?!" And ask them about their costume. Those people in the picture look like they're all having a good time though, including the black guy standing right next to him.

Like someone said, it's all how you perceive it, but at the same time, it is kind of just a stupid costume. Probably just for shock value. But I still don't think it's very funny. I'm just some white girl though, and I can't relate to how a black person may perceive it though, but I can imagine it may be offensive. I just don't know.


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## oaklawn Crematory (Jun 25, 2010)

Its Halloween man.....Its not the night to get in touch with your inner guilty feelings about being white.


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## oaklawn Crematory (Jun 25, 2010)

Danny-Girl said:


> I'm a Black lady from the South He and the friend who invited him would be Dead today


Feeble....I'm indian...With everything that's wrong in the world, its like belly achin over using the redskins logo. Ya gotta be able to look at ourselves and laugh other wise we become nothing more than animals reacting to outside stimulants. I am not an animal..... I think....I love.... I bleed and I die.


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## SaltwaterServr (Jul 28, 2014)

Danny-Girl said:


> I'm a Black lady from the South He and the friend who invited him would be Dead today


I'd help you hide the body.


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## HalloweenieChallenge (Oct 8, 2014)

Yikes! That is not what I was expecting when I clicked this!

As awkward as it may be - I would have asked them to change and/or offered another costume. (Lord knows we got plenty of old ones stored away)

At least take the hood off. No one would have known what he is supposed to be from the bottom half anyway.

And if he refused I would tell him to leave...

And here's why - I know this would have made me and my friends uncomfortable and totally weirded out. It really would have ruined the party for us because we would be tip toeing around this guy all night. As mentioned before - no one would want to be seen in a pic online with someone dressed like that. It could hurt their careers and probably just offend more people! Many of my friends are teachers! This would be a huge NO!

For example, imagine if Paula Dean was at this party 50 years ago - and someone found the pictures - imagine the media circus today! the embarrassment! A pic with this guy would have looked baaaaddd. Definitely a skeleton I wouldn't want in my closet!

Besides, why should you all bend to accommodate him? Maybe he needs to learn that what he is doing is not ok! and not funny! Imagine if he went out in public like that? You would be doing him a favor.


But I'm not 100% convinced that is what it was supposed to be. Could it be something else and it just looks really really bad?

You should ask your friend to ask his friend what he was supposed to be and then report back here - because I'm sure we all want an explanation!


P.S.

Nice Mr. Potato Head Collection! 

But you can tell that even they are embarrassed and offended.


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## dawnski (Jun 16, 2012)

Huffington Post put out an article on costumes that are just wrong. KKK costume not listed because that should be a no brainer. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/...hp_ref=mostpopular&ncid=fcbklnkushpmg00000010


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## jjgrask (Oct 27, 2014)

There areas of the country that would accept the way he dressed. As the host of the party you have the right to address the person as you feel necessary. Just like if he were drunk or loud. It is your home and partygoers should respect that.


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## GiggleingGhost (Aug 10, 2014)

Hubs and I would go talk to the KKK guy and ask that he remove the costume or leave and tell him why. In case they guy meant no harm (there are morons out there that just don't always get it) explain why--if he refuses--both of them go! If this were our party I'd have no problem with my other guests ahh helping them to the door!!! Make it clear to your 'invited' friend that he needs to be more careful in the future or his invite will be revoked . . . permanently!!


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## Abunai (Jan 28, 2008)

dawnski said:


> Huffington Post put out an article on costumes that are just wrong. KKK costume not listed because that should be a no brainer. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/...hp_ref=mostpopular&ncid=fcbklnkushpmg00000010


Yeah, the KKK costume should be a no-brainer. 

Some of those at the huffington post, though, are really stretching the whole politically correct theme. 

Something is always going to offend someone. Some offenses are more PC than others though.

I didn't see a "Slutty Nun" or "Evil Priest" on the huffington post "no no" list.


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## RCIAG (Jul 19, 2010)

Klu Klux Klown would have been less offensive if there had been a clown face & wig or mask involved & the hood was on top of the wig or hair like a hat. As it is he just looks like a Klansman that has his robe painted oddly.


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## matrixmom (Oct 29, 2010)

Alot of times I have a small trunk by the door of my parties full of diff costumes. I would have asked him to take off the hat (which makes it more noticeable) and change it to something from my trunk. I use this trunk if someone shows up without a costume too. I guess you can say its a "I hate your costume or non costume" trunk.Problem solved.


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