# Really BAD Halloween jokes (you were warned)~



## LostboY

Why are teachers happy at Halloween parties ?
Because there is lots of school spirit ! 
What happened to the girl who wore a mouse costume to her Halloween party ?
The cat are her ! 
What do witches eat at Halloween ?
Spooketti, halloweenies, devils food cake and booberry pie ! 
A boy went to a Halloween party with a sheet on his head.
"Are you a ghost ?" asked his friends 
"No, I'm an unmade bed !" 
Another boy went to a Halloween party with a sheet on his head.
"Are you an unmade bed ?" asked his friends 
"No, I'm an undercover agent !" 
What did the really ugly man do for a living ?
He posed for Halloween masks ! 
Why did the ghost go trick or treating on the top floor ?
He was in high spirits ! 
What happened when the girl dressed as a spoon left the Halloween party ?
No one moved, they couldn't stir without her ! 
Why was the little boy unhappy to win first prize for the best costume at the Halloween party ?
Because he just came to pick up his sister ! 
Why was everyone tickled by the fried chicken at the Halloween party ?
Because the feathers were still on the chicken ! 


(Ripped from a page brought to you by Google 

LosT

We are the music makers, and we are the dreamers of dreams~


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## LostboY

Vampire Jokes

What do you call a dog owned by Dracula ?
A blood hound ! 
Why does Dracula have no friends ?
Because he's a pain in the neck ! 
What was the Californian vampire hippy like ?
He was ghoul man, real ghoul ! 
What's a vampire's favourite sport ?
Batminton ! 
What happened to the mad vampire ?
He went a little batty ! 
What do vampires have at eleven o'clock every day ?
A coffin break ! 
What do vampire footballers have at half times ?
Blood oranges ! 
How does a vampire like his food served ?
In bite sized pieces ! 
Where do vampires go on holiday ?
The Isle of Fright ! 
Why did the vampire take up acting ?
It was in his blood ! 

LosT


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## LostboY

Witch Jokes

What is a witch with poison ivy called ?
An itchy witchy ! 
What's a cold, evil candle called ?
The wicked wick of the north ! 
What is evil, ugly and black and goes round and round ?
A witch in a revolving door ! 
What is evil and ugly on the inside and green on the outside ?
A witch dressed as a cucumber ! 
What happens if you see twin witches ?
You won't be able to see which witch is witch ! 
Why did the witch give up fortune telling ?
There was no future in it ! 
Why did the baby witch smile when she came out in blotches ?
Because it was an 'appy rash ! 
What does a witch get if she is a poor traveller ?
Broom sick ! 
How did the witch almost lose her baby ?
She didn't take it far enough into the woods ! 
Why did the stupid witch keep her clothes in the fridge ?
She liked to have something cool to slip into in the evenings ! 


LosT


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## LostboY

Werewolf Jokes:

Mummy, mummy what's a werewolf ?
Be quiet and brush your face ! 
Why was the werewolf arrested at the butchers shop ?
He was caught chop lifting ! 
What parting gift did the werewolf parents give to their son when he left home ?
A comb ! 
What happened when the wolf fell in the washing machine ?
He became a wash and werewolf ! 
What happened to the werewlf who ate garlic ?
His bark was worse than his bite ! 
Who are some of the werewolves cousins ?
The whatwolves and whenwolves ! 
Why did the small werewolf bite the womans ankle ?
Because he couldn't reach any higher ! 
What do you get if you cross a werewolf and a hyena ?
I don't know, but if it laughs I'll join in ! 
Where does the werewolf sit in the cinema ?
Anywhere he wants to ! 
What do you call a werewolf that drinks too much ?
A whino ! 

LosT


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## wytchy

why can't witches have babies? Because warlocks have crystal balls!

Missy Witchy


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## rod spain

I like that one!!!

rod spain


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## deadinside

that is funny lol

Tiff


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## Gym Whourlfeld

"Why Does The Ocean Roar?"

"You'd Roar Too If You Had Crabs On Your Bottom!"

(I know, "Been there, done that!")

"My Insanity is well-respected, until they wiggle free and become a stringer for a tabloid"


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## deadinside

ok lol!

Tiff


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## deadinside

How can you tell that a vampire likes baseball? 
- - - He turns into a bat every night.



Tiff


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## deadinside

A guy walks into a doctor's office with a frog sitting on his head and the doctor says,
" Hey you seem to have a problem there."
Then the frog replies, "Yeah, and would you believe it all started as a wart on my as*!

Tiff


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## deadinside

A vampire bat came flapping in from 
the night covered in fresh blood and 
parked himself on the roof of the 
cave to get some sleep. 
Pretty soon all the other bats 
smelled the blood and began hassling 
him about where he got it. 
He told them to knock it off and let 
him get some sleep but they persisted 
until finally he gave in. 
"OK, follow me," he said and flew out 
of the cave with hundreds of bats 
behind him. 
Down through a valley they went, across a river and into a forest full of trees. 
Finally he slowed down and all the 
other bats excitedly milled around 
him. 
"Now, do you see that tree over 
there?" he asked. 
"Yes, yes, yes!" the bats all 
screamed in a frenzy. 
"Good," said the first bat, "Because 
I DIDN'T!" 


(im gettin tired of all these stupid jokes lol)

Tiff


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## deadinside

A vampire bat came flapping in from 
the night covered in fresh blood and 
parked himself on the roof of the 
cave to get some sleep. 
Pretty soon all the other bats 
smelled the blood and began hassling 
him about where he got it. 
He told them to knock it off and let 
him get some sleep but they persisted 
until finally he gave in. 
"OK, follow me," he said and flew out 
of the cave with hundreds of bats 
behind him. 
Down through a valley they went, across a river and into a forest full of trees. 
Finally he slowed down and all the 
other bats excitedly milled around 
him. 
"Now, do you see that tree over 
there?" he asked. 
"Yes, yes, yes!" the bats all 
screamed in a frenzy. 
"Good," said the first bat, "Because 
I DIDN'T!" 


(im gettin tired of all these stupid jokes lol)

Tiff


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## GrimNation

Oh my... haa!


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## CemeteryGirl

What did the skeleton say to the vampire?
You suck!

Why doesn't Dracula mind the doctor looking at his throat?
Because of his coffin!

Why did the Vampire read the Wall Street Journal?
He heard it had great circulation!

What's it like to be kissed by a vampire?
It's a pain in the neck!

What is a vampires least favorite food?
Stake!

Why did the vampire need mouthwash?
Because he had bat breath!

What did Dracula say after reading all these jokes?
These bite!


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## Halloween On A Budget

Haha great one!


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## Pumpkinhead625

What happens when an exorcism doesn't work right?

You get repossessed.


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## WitchyWolf

NICE, Love these jokes


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## Online Game Lounge

Why did the mummy cross the road? To find his daddy!


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## Lilith's Demon

Who is the werewolves English cousin?

The Who wolves.


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## Lilith's Demon

What did the skeleton say before telling a joke?

Oh do I have a boner for you!


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