# Secret Spells Barbie!!! 'Bout Damn Time!!!



## rod spain (Aug 27, 2002)

How about Demonically possessed Barbie-she spins her head around and spits out green pea soup or Axe Murderess Barbie-She has a bloody axe and holding Ken's head in her hand!

rod spain


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## David Knoles (Jun 18, 2002)

How about "My ex wife" Barbie? She just lays there and doesn't do anything at all. Ever.

Your friendly neighborhood Wizard


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## rod spain (Aug 27, 2002)

Have you ever checked out Trailer Trash Barbie by Motel?Its a funny site,has different types of Barbies,like Hooker Barbie,Druggy Barbie etc.

rod spain


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## groovethang (Jul 14, 2003)

*David, that's hilarious. Sad, but hilarious. 

I was in an, shall we say, "adult" store in Boston a couple of years ago that caters primarily to females and they had a (one of a kind) S&M Barbie. They had actually created a little leather outfit for her, and a whip, etc. It was great. *

*Groove Thang!*


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## rod spain (Aug 27, 2002)

Were you looking for a costume?

rod spain


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## David Knoles (Jun 18, 2002)

So did they like also have the "Submissive Ken" doll to go with it?


Your friendly neighborhood Wizard


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## putrid (Aug 18, 2002)

I played with Barbies when I was a kid. Took all there cloths off and hung them. 





Personal hygiene 101 from your O.C.C.O.C.P. There's nothing in the air, that's me your smelling.


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## Di-Ellen (Aug 27, 2003)

Actually, I really did like divorcee Barbie...she comes with half of Ken's stuff...

Dark Gardener


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## David Knoles (Jun 18, 2002)

Ooooooh! That one stings!!!!


Your friendly neighborhood Wizard


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## putrid (Aug 18, 2002)

Then there's 'Trophy Wife Barbie'. but you need lots of money, she's high maintenance.



Personal hygiene 101 from your O.C.C.O.C.P. There's nothing in the air, that's me your smelling.


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## Di-Ellen (Aug 27, 2003)

Putrid, I recently took care of a psychotic patient that carried naked Barbies in his pockets....hmmmmmmmmm........

Dark Gardener


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## rod spain (Aug 27, 2002)

Whydo yu think I make corpses?!BWAHAHA!

rod spain


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## Di-Ellen (Aug 27, 2003)

I think there might be a diagnosis for that, too...I'm just not sure what it is!

Dark Gardener


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## rod spain (Aug 27, 2002)

Well all of david's ex's seem to just lay there!

rod spain


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## Spooky Chuck (Jun 14, 2003)

Putrid, I played with Barbies too! They are one of the greatest things to blow up with firecrackers!!!


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## rod spain (Aug 27, 2002)

I use to turn my bike upside down,get the wheels turning REAL fast and GRIND their faces!!!Bwahaha!

rod spain


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## Di-Ellen (Aug 27, 2003)

Rod, is this where you're fascination with latex began?

Dark Gardener


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## rod spain (Aug 27, 2002)

OOOOhhh baby now ya talkin'.LOL!

rod spain


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## rod spain (Aug 27, 2002)

OOOOhhh baby now ya talkin'.LOL!

rod spain


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## Di-Ellen (Aug 27, 2003)

I still want to know how YOU know that all of David's ex's just lay there...oh, and that "salty" thing- there are sooooooooooo many places to go with that, that I don't even know where to start!!!!!!!!

Dark Gardener


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## David Knoles (Jun 18, 2002)

I sent them to Rod so he use them as models for his corpses...only he sent them back. Said they were way too scary!

Your friendly neighborhood Wizard


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## sprfly (Oct 19, 2002)

> quote:_Originally posted by rod spain_
> 
> I use to turn my bike upside down,get the wheels turning REAL fast and GRIND their faces!!!Bwahaha!
> 
> rod spain


*Rod,
You've got me rollin'

-fly*


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## moonstarling61 (Aug 13, 2003)

HEY,I *HAVE* S & M Barbie she's cool.  She was a Gift from a friend.

As for BACK ON TOPIC.... So the World of Altenative is being recognized in Barbie world. You know what's going to happen don't you? Nun Barbie (modeled after several of David's EXes), Protestant Barbie, epicscopal Barbie, POPE Ken & let's not forget the gay community Lesbian Barbie.... 
As soon as you bring up Wicca/witchcraft EVERY other group either needs to be involved or bash it, LOL! People are so scared of things they don't take the time to educate themselves on [xx(]

I will own Spell Barbie also 



> quote:I still want to know how YOU know that all of David's ex's just lay there...oh, and that "salty" thing- there are sooooooooooo many places to go with that, that I don't even know where to start!!!!!!!!
> 
> Dark Gardener


Dark, did you not know that some of us reside in David's closet on a FULL time basis. Rod is quite adept with a Lie detector. We won't even get goin about Putrid's tool belt. <EG>

ann~~

"Does this scare you?"
SM- 
little shop 
of horrors


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## David Knoles (Jun 18, 2002)

I like the accessories angle. I mean, Wicca Barbie comes with a little plastic book of shadows...Catholic School Barbie comes with a life-time guilt trip passport...but you'll have to wait for everyone to get out of my closet to find out what lesbian Barbi comes with...


Your friendly neighborhood Wizard


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## moonstarling61 (Aug 13, 2003)

we will NEVER leave your closet, David...it's dark & musty we *LIKE* it here.....

As for lesbian barbie...never mind.

"Does this scare you?"
SM- 
little shop 
of horrors


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## Di-Ellen (Aug 27, 2003)

AS for lesbian Barbie...she comes with S&M Barbie...and comes...and comes...

Dark Gardener


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## Spooky Chuck (Jun 14, 2003)

Rod, This bicycle idea to grind their faces is really neet!!!! I think I may get into Barbies again! This is the perfect way to let out your frustrations at the end of the day. You could even dress the Barbie up like your boss. Or ex wife. Or the jerk that cut you off on the way home. Or,,,,etc. etc. I'm gettin my bike out!!!!!!


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## rod spain (Aug 27, 2002)

can't you just picture,barbie is tied up and facing.....The Bike Wheel of Death.In the hands of a demnted child slowly being drawn to her doom."No,NO,NOOOO",cries Barbie but her pleas are not heard."I'll give you everything,my townhouse,my car,Skipper,HELL you can have Ken if you want!Just don't destroy my beautiful plastic FACE!!""No,NO,NOOOO!!!"spizzzzzzzat!

rod spain


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## Di-Ellen (Aug 27, 2003)

and for Putrid...Secret Smells Barbie...

Dark Gardener


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## moonstarling61 (Aug 13, 2003)

Dark.... S & M barbie, hehehehehehehe

I am startin to think the MEN here harbor, ummmmmm resentments toward women???? <G>
gettin violent....**SHUDDER** do it again. LOL

"Does this scare you?"
SM- 
little shop 
of horrors


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## rod spain (Aug 27, 2002)

I would NEVER grind your face on my bike's tire.....You bleed!

rod spain


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## Di-Ellen (Aug 27, 2003)

Thanks Moon. Me thinks you may be right...hence all the burning rubber Barbie faces...although I must admit that I have a 6 year old boy that strips 'em naked and throws them onto the roof; they lay in contortionist positions, baking the summer away...his dad thinks it's a real scream...I think it's a guy thing.

Dark Gardener


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## Di-Ellen (Aug 27, 2003)

Yes, Rod...but we ALWAYS live to ***** about it!!! Hee Hee Hee!!!

Dark Gardener


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## rod spain (Aug 27, 2002)

HEY,WE CAN'T HELP IF WE'RE DEMENTED!!!!

rod spain


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## moonstarling61 (Aug 13, 2003)

Yes, maybe it is a GUY thing.... We do *KNOW* how much they LOVE them PLASTIC boobs, HUH?

My kids are 13, 11, & 2..oh wait I forgot the BIGGEST child 42...We are in between Barbie stages right now. The 2 yr old does like to pull them apart tho.

I've been wondering what kind of "Secret Spells" does Barbie actually come with????? hmmmmmmmmm

"Does this scare you?"
SM- 
little shop 
of horrors


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## Di-Ellen (Aug 27, 2003)

Well, the biggie is the love potion, of course...let's get real...how about the winning lotto ticket spell, the self-cleaning house spell and my favorite- the endless erection spell!!!

Dark Gardener


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## David Knoles (Jun 18, 2002)

Endless erection spell, huh? Well I guess that would be one to Di for!


Your friendly neighborhood Wizard


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## rod spain (Aug 27, 2002)

The Endless Erection Spell???!!My gawd!I would have to get one of those yuppie flags to hang on the end!

rod spain


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## sprfly (Oct 19, 2002)

*Now, to be fair...if there were a Warlock Ken doll, what kind of spells would he cast?


Silent Spouse, I'm Watching Football Spell
 Automobile Warning Lights Aren't For Decoration Spell
Opening Mayonaise Jar Spell
...I need some help here.

-fly*


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## Di-Ellen (Aug 27, 2003)

Dave...if you only knew.
Rod- I thought that's what the corpses were for!

Dark Gardener


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## Di-Ellen (Aug 27, 2003)

Touche fly!!!

Dark Gardener


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## rod spain (Aug 27, 2002)

Di-Ellen thats a GREAT idea for an outside prop.One of my corpses standing at ATTENTION with his rotten straight SNAUSAGE with a yuppie flag on the end!LOL.(Note to all Yuppies:We're no making fun of you!We're fun WITH you!")

rod spain


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## Di-Ellen (Aug 27, 2003)

Well, now that I have worked you boys into a lather, I must sign off...duty (work) calls...Bye for now.

Dark Gardener


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## rod spain (Aug 27, 2002)

NOOOO DI DON"T GOOOOO!

rod spain


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## moonstarling61 (Aug 13, 2003)

> quote: my favorite- the endless erection spell!!!


 ROTFLOL! sh*t I just spit water all over the dam keyboard. I'd buy that barbie to get THAT spell.

and FLY, buddy...you are ON your own I spend waaay too much time around here ki$$in a$$ during football season... WHICH is OVER lapping NASCAR somethin I'd much RATHER watch 

I bet Dark and I could come up with *MUCH* better Spells and nasty things to do to Ken then you guys can come up with to do to Plastic Barbie...

I must say... the "flag" idea (back to the flags are we?) is something I *MIGHT* pay to see 

ann~~

"Does this scare you?"
SM- 
little shop 
of horrors


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## Spooky Chuck (Jun 14, 2003)

I hope I never again hear about a wooden stick being pushed into the end of a penis.


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## rod spain (Aug 27, 2002)

OHOH SAY Can you see the FLag on the Snausage!?

rod spain


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## moonstarling61 (Aug 13, 2003)

*Well, now that I have worked you boys into a lather, I must sign off...duty (work) calls...Bye for now.

Dark Gardener*

oh great Dark LEAVE me to fend with the Vultures.....thanks a lot 

Wicccckkkkeeedddd where are ya, I NEED help in here, LOL!

"Does this scare you?"
SM- 
little shop 
of horrors


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## sprfly (Oct 19, 2002)

> quote:_Originally posted by Spooky Chuck_
> 
> I hope I never again hear about a wooden stick being pushed into the end of a penis.


*Cringe! Cringe! Cringe!

-fly*


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## rod spain (Aug 27, 2002)

Worse yet.....a glass tube!

rod spain


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## moonstarling61 (Aug 13, 2003)

Hey rod....I heard about those glass things...you guys are making me LOL

ann(who has done nothing today but bake cookies.....)

"Does this scare you?"
 SM- 
little shop 
of horrors


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## rod spain (Aug 27, 2002)

If you want to scare your husband walk into the bedroom where he is dressed in a Dominatrix outfit holding a....GLASS TUBE!

rod spain


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## David Knoles (Jun 18, 2002)

Some more ken spells:

The "I don't need anything from the mall" spell.
The "Nah, I don't care if we have dinner at my mother's house" spell
The "Sure, you can sell the "Titanic" tape in the garage sale" spell
The "Guess what, honey? I threw away all those boxes of hamburger helper cause I actually hate it too" spell.
Or my favorite, the "glad you like my legs, they'll be open soon" spell.



Your friendly neighborhood Wizard


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## moonstarling61 (Aug 13, 2003)

ROD....that would NOT scare him (especially the outfit) that would EXCITE him.

I was thinkin about the new glass tubes they have been advertising in certain places that you warm in the microwave. Oh yes, I do LIVe in a Sinful city.

"Does this scare you?"
SM- 
little shop 
of horrors


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## rod spain (Aug 27, 2002)

I usually hand a sign on mine saying"Out To Lunch!"

rod spain


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## moonstarling61 (Aug 13, 2003)

Geezzzzzzz David you *REALLY* are stereotyping now, ain't ya? hehehehehehe

I *ONLY* resemble one of those...guess which one 

"Does this scare you?"
SM- 
little shop 
of horrors


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## sprfly (Oct 19, 2002)

*...and yet more Ken spells:

 "I have enough shoes" spell
The "I always set the Emergency Break" spell
"I DON'T have a headache" spell

-fly*


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## moonstarling61 (Aug 13, 2003)

FLY
I NEVER have a headache *YOU* haven't given me, is MY REPLY to that....

and Look man I only *HAVE* 3 pairs of BLACK SHOES!!!!!!
as for the emergency break I AM the one who sets it....
so. ::sticks tongue out and raspberries FLY::


ROD, Out to lunch.....I *knew I kept feeling something on my back in this closet......


"Does this scare you?"
SM- 
little shop 
of horrors


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## rod spain (Aug 27, 2002)

OMG!PUTRID IS IN THE CLOSET WITH US!!!!!!

rod spain


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## moonstarling61 (Aug 13, 2003)

IS he here? I haven't been to the log in page in a while, LOL!
At least YOU are getting PAID to be in the closet....This is my extraciricular (is that spelled right???) activity time 

"Does this scare you?"
SM- 
little shop 
of horrors


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## rod spain (Aug 27, 2002)

Hey Putrid don't raise that apron!!!LOL!

rod spain


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## moonstarling61 (Aug 13, 2003)

behave Dad IS here....<G> (you know he must think we are ALL insane, LOL!)
Since Putrid wears the apron and a TOOL belt do you think he keeps sharpened Knives in the tool belt???

"Does this scare you?"
SM- 
little shop 
of horrors


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## rod spain (Aug 27, 2002)

Was that a knife that was on my rear?

rod spain


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## groovethang (Jul 14, 2003)

> quote:_Originally posted by rod spain_
> 
> Worse yet.....a glass tube!
> 
> rod spain


*Even better, walk in the bedroom with latex gloves on, your best little nurse's outfit, and a urethral sound (long metal instrument). That'll get any man's attention. he he he 

I may *look* harmless (http://profiles.yahoo.com/groovethangyeah), but I am truly wicked on the inside, which is perfect for scaring the bejeezus out of people, including my poor hubby. [}] bwahahahahahah!*

*Groove Thang!*


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## moonstarling61 (Aug 13, 2003)

not goin there, nope won't do it...no way 
You have my e-mail addy this is just getting messy <G>
Think chocolate, think chocolate....

"Does this scare you?"
SM- 
little shop 
of horrors


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## rod spain (Aug 27, 2002)

YIKES!!!!Rod quickly gets out his trusty little OUT TO Lunch sign and hangs it on the front of his zipper!

rod spain


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## moonstarling61 (Aug 13, 2003)

Rod deosn't ANSWER e-mail....Mr. "out to LUnch"

Groovethang... hmmmm next time he WON'T STOP and ask FOR DIRECTIONS this could be a plan. 

"Does this scare you?"
SM- 
little shop 
of horrors


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## David Knoles (Jun 18, 2002)

You people need to get the hell out of my closet and GET A ROOM! Come to think of it, I could use a room too! It has been four months since Grinnigbook, and I must admit that I'm getting a tad EAGER!


Your friendly neighborhood Wizard


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## wicked (Aug 27, 2002)

*Groovethang---You're actually ME INSIDE!!??*

The banshee shrieks with* WICKED* delight, on this a cold and death filled night!


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## rod spain (Aug 27, 2002)

don't look at me with that smile on your face buddy!LOL.Moon.my e-mail that I wrote to you kept coming back "delivery failure".I think my e-mail is SCREWED up!

rod spain


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## David Knoles (Jun 18, 2002)

Either that or the bad taste police blocked it!

Your friendly neighborhood Wizard


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## moonstarling61 (Aug 13, 2003)

hehehehehehe

"bad taste police" AO-HELL is BAD taste. Heck I get less Spam on my yahoo acct then I do AO-HELL. 

David, the closet is getting crowded and rereading this thread at 6am...we were ALL alittle SCAAARRRREEEEYYYYY yesterday, eh?

But you know I am still wondering what *THER* kind of Spells, "Secret Spells Barbie" comes with.

I do like the mundane ones of Cooking, Cleaning the house, doing laundry.
Oh and can we have the one that makes "Yuppie unwanted relatives go away?"

ann~~

"Does this scare you?"
SM- 
little shop 
of horrors


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## Di-Ellen (Aug 27, 2003)

Hi Moon! The spell for unwanted relatives is called the "dirty catbox spell"!!! hehehehehe

Dark Gardener


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## creepybob (Jul 27, 2003)

Hey someone keep's hitting my Jessica Rabbit chest. Quit!!! It's getting stuffy in here.

They mostly come out at night........Mostly
Check out my pic's at 
http://www.halloweenforum.com/photo_album_view.asp?cname=2002+home+haunt&mid=416&cid=1013


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## moonstarling61 (Aug 13, 2003)

Dark
I LOVe it and am performing it as we SPEAK...I also need one for...get this. 
1 married couple NOW divorced I am friends with both Parties. 1 is in georgia....the MALE in this relationship still holds a torch for the female.
Well, I have his daughter for the night because HE is on his way to georgia...long story, man...How do I wind up in the middle, LOL

"Does this scare you?"
SM- 
little shop 
of horrors


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## Di-Ellen (Aug 27, 2003)

Ooooooooooo...doesn't sound like a place that I would like to be...good luck with that! You could do some candlework...but remember- NEVER put any negative stuff out there! What goes around comes around...just ask for peaceful resolution to the problem. Hope I helped.

Dark Gardener


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## rod spain (Aug 27, 2002)

Try to stay neutral about everything because you don't want to be caught in the middle.Both my wife and I tried to help two friends(?)of ours who had an affair with each other because their spouces were all screwed up.Anyhow to make a long story short after they called it quits and alot of Hell breaking loose during their short idiotic fling,We are made out as the Devil's Advocates for trying to be friends with Both of them!Now That Sucks!

rod spain


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## moonstarling61 (Aug 13, 2003)

Dark.....
I am a LOUSEY witch, LOL that is WHY I never refer to myself as one  just a good ole fashioned Pagan. NO spell work, period. BUT I do all kinds of things with my herb garden, protection smudges that kinda thing...and Oh yeah, I believe in the Rule of 3, big time.

I HAD stuff to do today (sunday).... they are probably in the middle of "make up sex" right now...right?

I *WILL* stay nuetral...even tho I am actually POed at my girlfriend here. SHE is the one that put me in the middle of it. She didn't want him bringing his daughter this weekend :::ROLLS EYES::: ....and actually since he was POed as heck with her and I knew a good fight was brewin I took the daughter for the night. Kids have no place being put in the middle of adult BS even if they are 13. **SIGH**

So I am doin my good deed.... I got a BIG wish out there in the universe for the upcoming month of October and a special friend to arrive in time to help with my festivities...and that's all I ask for in return!

Oh, can anyone find a picture of S & M barbie for me. I've looked to no avail. I am serious here, LOL! e-mail me thru my profile. I haven't seen secret speels BArbie anywhere...even on the MAtel Site.

Morticia (AKA Ann)

"Does this scare you?"
SM- 
little shop 
of horrors


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## Di-Ellen (Aug 27, 2003)

Quick post- I'm at work...the Halloween themed birthday party was a huge hit, as was the Secret Spells Barbie...my son was first forewarned about feeding her head to the chickens or throwing her up onto the roof. She came with a really neat glass cauldron and some potion that you can actually drink...if you dare...we mixed some up and it was this foamy gelatinous syrupy stuff...quite gross, but I'm going to see if I can make something along the lines of an endless credit spell. Moon- S&M...try EBAY. Hope all of are doing well and decorating your gonads off!!! Bye, Di

Dark Gardener


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## Misfit (Sep 25, 2003)

Here is what secret spell barbie looks liek and were to purchase her! http://www.mailorderexpress.com/B2787_Mattel_Secret_Spells_Barbie.asp

All is done


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## David Knoles (Jun 18, 2002)

I mentioned Secret Spell Barbi to my pal, who works in one of Universal's interactive divisions doing Barbi games. All he could do is shake his head and ask for another beer.

Your friendly neighborhood Wizard


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## rod spain (Aug 27, 2002)

I want to find the site that has railer Trash Barbie,Hooker Barbie,Gangsta Barbie.All made by Motel Toys.

rod spain


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## mominvan (Oct 1, 2003)

hi I just wanted to add that my daughter is the blonde girl in the secret spell commercial aka charm girls, she is the one who tell the legend and magically makes the cute boy appear..I wish she could do this in real life..take care!!


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## rod spain (Aug 27, 2002)

How old is she?

rod spain


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## mominvan (Oct 1, 2003)

she is 14 and had a great time filming this commercial!


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## David Knoles (Jun 18, 2002)

(Rolls eyes) Stage moms!

Your friendly neighborhood Wizard


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## rod spain (Aug 27, 2002)

tell her not to get a swelled head or we'll have to bash it in for her!YUK!YUK!

rod spain


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## LostboY (Aug 21, 2003)

Did any of you ever see that fake doll "Alabama Man" that was on that episode of south park? It came with a beer can and a bowling ball-

LosT


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## rod spain (Aug 27, 2002)

That was me after I tied one on!

rod spain


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## moonstarling61 (Aug 13, 2003)

Actually that sounds like Homer Simpson, huh? Can of Duff's.....hehehehehehe

Morticia.

PS good morning ROD, glad it's friday?



SARAH::"I'll be the Victim!!!"

WEDNESDAY's REPLY:: "ALL YOUR LIFE"- 

**Addams FAMILY VALUES**


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## David Knoles (Jun 18, 2002)

You don't live in Alabama, Rod. But we could put you in a confederate soldier uniform with a beer and running shoes for chasing your sister and call you "Virginia Man." Or we could package you as a really skinny cigarette and call you "Virginia Slim." Wow, now that I think of it, the possibilities are endless!


Your friendly neighborhood Wizard


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## Isis (Oct 16, 2003)

I actually think that the secret spell barbie thing is kinda cool. I dan't usually like barbie at all, in fact I usually try to avoid the product at all costs, but this one is different. I may actually get it.[:I]

Greetings, salutations and all that jazz.


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