# To hell with friends and coworkers-Party's cancelled!



## MrsMyers666 (Oct 19, 2004)

That's why I don't have a party, I don't trust people showing up. I instead said hey this bar is having stuff if you want to come cool, invite others and we'll all go drink and have fun. I don't want to have to get ready for a party and then have people not show, which is what my friends would end up doing.

I think you should send out a reminder about the party see if anyone does anything based on that and if they don't by Wed or Thurs maybe send out the cancellation and make them feel bad about it. Say something like, because of the poor response, or should I say lake of response the party has been canceled.

I'm sorry you're going through this. I think you and you wife should get a baby sitter for Saturday and go find a cool place that is doing something for Halloween. Don't let the inconsiderate people ruin your day.


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## boo who? (Feb 28, 2005)

INVITE ALL OF US!!!!! We'll all appreciate it an maybe even help you clean up after.

(Sorry 'bout the idjits.)

boo


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## sisvicki (Jan 30, 2004)

darn it, Patriot, buddy, I know how ya feel.

My first Halloween party, I asked the same about RSVP's. (although not nearly close to 70 - about 30, I think) And hardly anybody did! I had to call around and ask 'are you coming, or what?' And I had a few comments about 'do we have to dress up?'

But, we ended up with about 20 people (a few brought unexpected guests, which was fun) and everybody dressed up but one person, even though I made costumes optional, and it was a fantastic party.

But, boy, I was a nervous wreck wondering if anyone would even come, would they like the planned games, would they think it was lame, etc., etc. Sometimes it pays to take a chance. 

Now this year, the party is off. First we couldn't afford it, then we didn't have the time. No one seems particularly upset that there is no party, which hurts my feelings. And no, no body was there to help set up and no one ever stayed to help clean up. I am bound and determined to find some folks who love this holiday like I do. And I will, it's just going to take some searching and maybe changing the way we've been celebrating it. 

Keep your chin up, nobody can understand the way folks here do.


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## LHALLOW (Aug 10, 2004)

Patriot - people can suck! I know how you feel and what your going through! I one canceled a birthday part for my husband because of 25 people I invited, only 6 rsvp'd that they would come. So I cancel and tell everyone the party is off and I find out a lot of people were planning on coming and just forgot to rsvp!!!! Argh!!!

I only invited 12 people to my party ant 10 are coming. I've learned not to invite everyone, only my closest friends. It doesn't matter about the size of the party, just that you and the people that do come have fun!!


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## brandywine1974 (Sep 10, 2005)

The bastards! They all must die! I am sorry your friends and coworkers suck. I don't get any help before or after, but it is the social event of the year for my friends. They all enjoy it as much as I do. But I agree with vicki. Somethimes people suprise you. I personally think paper invites are better b/c they can't be deleted and most people hang them on the fridge. This helps them to remember. Just my opinion though. Good Luck!


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## SkullAndBone (Aug 18, 2005)

I hear you!!! I say 'F' them. Cancel it, and haunt for the trick or treaters only.


Last year we went all out for the yard. Weeks and weeks.. Dozens of people said.. Ohh, we will be there too! We decided that so many people said they were going to be here, that we would have a 'party room' too.. I bought at least $200 in beer, food and party crap.. Worse yet, we spent valuable time working on a party room that we never planned for...

About 4 people showed... HOLY SUGAR that pissed me off..


We ONLY invited the people who showed up last year, to this year. 
Its funny though. Even though we did not invite anyone, there are still a ton that still say "We'll Be there!".. We now reply, bring your own chairs and beer...


People are rude to no end..


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## ghostship13 (Jul 16, 2005)

I know how you feel, people that don't answer the rsvp really tick me off. Went through that whole mess with my daughters wedding....
We have a big pumpkin carving party every year. We always invite the parents too, and make it a potluck kind of deal, it is always a lot of fun....but you would be surprised at how many people just send their kids over....jeezz, its a party, I don't care if all you can afford is a bag of chips or the pumpkin for your kid.
Some people are just rude and I guess you can't change them, but have fun in spite of them!!


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## NecroBones (Oct 1, 2005)

Yeah, that stinks. To be fair, I know sometimes people don't RSVP because they're still working out their schedules and deciding what to do. I've done that on many occasions, but at least I have the excuse of needing to work out who has the pager-duty at work each weekend. 

Still, that's a pretty small fraction you've gotten solid answers from. And considering it's been over 3 weeks, you'd think more would have gotten back to you by now.

I've had maybe 2 halloween parties since I moved to my new house, and each time I had maybe a half dozen show up. It was enough for a close-friends "let's watch some halloween movies" sort of thing. Still... I grew up in a family where we had annual parties with maybe 150 guests in our tiny house. I'd love to recapture some of that eventually, especially now that I can do some higher class decorating and prop building. Only thing is... the larger groups of friends and acquaintances that me and my GF have... well... they already have a largish party they go to every year (I'm going to try to attend it myself this year for the first time... other things have always gotten in the way in the past).

And for some reason people seem to be more subdued at my parties/events than elsewhere... with the same people in attendance... wierd.


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## Mr. Sickhertz (Oct 16, 2005)

That happened to me and my girlfriend this year. This is the 4th year for our party, so people know about it. She sent out evites, to a crap load of people and one or two said they def weren't coming but a bunch of people didn't respond at all, so I took matters into my own hands. I called people. I don't understand, the evite makes it so easy to respond. Well any way now we have about 20-25 people coming maybe 30. Some people are bringing friends.


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## rochelletherock (Sep 25, 2005)

I was thinking the same thing this morning. Out of about 30 invites, we only had about 3 couples rsvp so far. Hello people the party is on Saturday. I even sent out a save the date e-mail about 5 weeks ago. So they have had two invites actually. And the "do I have to wear a costum?" whine is just too much. I now have to acknowledge that our friends just are not that into it. I wish someone else would throw the party and I could just help them out. What to do, cancel or not???? Good luck.

Rochelle


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## drunk_buzzard (Sep 9, 2003)

I say you have the party anyways, for those that said I'll be there! Heck with the rest! It sounds like I'm fortunate to have a group of friends that count on my halloween parties. We hate going to the bars because a majority aren't in costume and they make fun of those that are. Stupid people....

Looks like I'll have about 15-20 this year, which is just right. It's easy to keep track of people (make sure none pass out in the back yard) and most people know each other. I can't really fit any more people in my house anyways.


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## The Patriot (Aug 1, 2005)

We invited 70 people with the hopes that even 50% could make it and a few would bring a "date/guest/spouse". I figured this would be a good amount of people from differernt areas and interest in life that it would be a good mix up, especially if the many people we know who are "sociable". I liked the idea of having people at a party who don't know everybody else. I had a great guess-the movie-prop-game planned with 13 props clearly marked and spread around the house and property. I figured this would be a great game to keep people from just sitting and planting themselves in a chair. And for those that do like doing that I was going to play Bravo's 100 Scariest Movie Moments (minus commercials) on a 65" fricken inch TV!!!! Hell, I had a trophy made up for best costume which I got from a poste here....it was a great idea....but none of the "do I have to wear a costume" types would never appreciate such a unique thing being done.

I just hope those reading this who do have good, fun, and enthusiastic friends appreciate them and the moments you all share.


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## sisvicki (Jan 30, 2004)

You know, I alsmost wonder if we're victims of propaganda!?! It just seems to me, and maybe this is specific to my area, that this year's Halloween is just not publicly promoted like it has been the past two years.

Wal Mart, K Mart and such have half the Halloween supplies compared to previous years. Jo Ann's about 1/3, and it was all moved into a back corner, instead of up front. I could not even find the October issue of Martha Stewart until the first week of October. Never did find a Halloween issue, if there was one.

So far, I've seen one bar party advertised, and it's for Friday night. (Friday!!! sheesh, how's anyone going to get a costume together that quickly after work?)

Quite frankly, I think that the big SOMEBODIES have decided that sales for Halloween will be down this year due to it falling on a Monday and so have decided to push other sales and rush in Christmas, and thus, Halloween has fallen to the wayside.

And so, the 9 to 5 crowd, ever dull with P.C. correct behavior, have been unable to stir their imaginations and rise to the special ocaasion of Halloween. Even children, lacking a full weekend of Halloween revelry, have been so-so about their holiday.

It's not really their fault. Sheep... they're all sheep.

And so, to cure this lackluster, shameful enthusiasm for the great Halloween, I propose we begin a petition to change . . yes, CHANGE. . .the date of Halloween. Change it to always fall on the last Saturday of October. I think it's only befitting.


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## Zombie-F (Jul 23, 2004)

The Patriot said:


> I used a website to send out an online invitation through emails on October 3rd to over 70 friends and coworkers.


Just a quick note here... it may just be that a majority of the people you sent the invite to never got it. In this day and age, any e-mail generated in mass amounts from a single web site can often be filtered out by junk mail programs and a lot of them may have wound up in a SPAM folder never to be seen again.

If I were you, I'd send out an e-mail to each person from your computer or even just place a few phone calls and find out if they ever even received the e-mail.

I recently ran into a problem on my web site where a pretty large portion of my forum subscribers were NOT receiving any e-mails because they were either going into their SPAM folders to never be seen again, or were filtered out by the mail server before they could even be received.

It's just a suggestion, and I don't know these people like you do, but I find it difficult to wrap my mind around the concept that nearly 70 people wouldn't respond at all to a party invitation, going or not. It may all just be a big misunderstanding due to technical difficulties.


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## brandywine1974 (Sep 10, 2005)

Vicki, I have noticed the same lack-luster attitude in my part of the woods too. It disgusts me. It's like the greatest holiday of the years has been skimmed over. Pisses me off.


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## otherworldly (Sep 28, 2004)

This makes me glad I don't hold an official party - though I'm tempted every year. Our thing is more like an open house. Friends and family like to come and be present during the haunt, and I have food and drink available to them. It's always a little strange, because I feel pulled to host as well as haunt...but that's just how it's been working out.


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## Vikeman (Oct 17, 2003)

Patriot, The first year we had a party, it was a last minute thing and we had about 15 people. But, everyone enjoyed themselves and they told others how much fun the party was. The following year most of the people we invited showed up. Word of mouth helps. We are expecting around 35 for this years party. We also don't ask for an rsvp. We are going to have a party, it doesn't matter how many show up. I say have your party because your good friends should make it. Hopefully, they will pass on how nice your setup was and how much trouble you went through. And then next year you can expect more and maybe they will even respond to our invite.


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## The Patriot (Aug 1, 2005)

Zombie-F said:


> Just a quick note here... it may just be that a majority of the people you sent the invite to never got it. In this day and age, any e-mail generated in mass amounts from a single web site can often be filtered out by junk mail programs and a lot of them may have wound up in a SPAM folder never to be seen again.



The great thing about this site is it shows specifically what emails have been opened. My work even freed up the batch from the filter that was sent to my work group of 23 people. I wish I worked in a larger company that I wouldn't feel obligated to invite everyone so I wouldn't rock the boat of "office politics". Hell, what's the point behind working in a larger company....it would just mean more people to not RSVP....ha ha.

I just would figure I would find maybe more people who would want to enjoy this time of the year. Maybe I just need to chuck the corporate job and get a job at a comic book store and find some like minded fun people....oh if only I could affored the pay cut.


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## jdubbya (Oct 4, 2003)

My wife and I would love to come to your party. It sounds like a great time! Hard to believe so many people are either sticks in the mud or just don't have it in them to let their hair down and have some real fun. We went to a couples H party years ago. Everyone dressed up. It was a riot. 
You can either down size the afair to include those who responded, cancel it, or send another email out pushing for replies either way.


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## Greencapt (Sep 13, 2005)

The Patriot said:


> I just would figure I would find maybe more people who would want to enjoy this time of the year. Maybe I just need to chuck the corporate job and get a job at a comic book store and find some like minded fun people....oh if only I could affored the pay cut.


Having worked both corporate and comic book store jobs, I quite often wish to chuck it all and go back to comic books to find like-minded people. And I too had the party problem this year- heck we only had a non-costume, pre-Halloween 8 person pumpkin carving party last year but it was lots of fun... but THIS year only two of the people would either commit and/or come so we just invited those two and are going to have a nice quiet 'friend' eveing. At least *somebody* will celebrate. But it does make me feel like the people who were there last year didn't have a good time but didn't have the heart to tell us. There are several factors involved though so I know this isn't the case... but still- I feel your pain!


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## MsMeeple (Aug 21, 2004)

I think with invitations, you're kind of stuck between a rock and a hard place. If you send them out early so everyone has enough notice then people don't respond right away because they think they have plenty of time and then forget. If you send the invitations out too last minute, then people already have plans. Its a no win situation.

If I were you, I'd call up the people who haven't responded who you really want at your party. My guess is that many of them just got busy and forgot about it. Then I'd have the party with the people who do show up. Then hopefully your party will grow thru word of mouth for next year and the years after that.

Our party this year will be smaller than last year. The first people who rsvp'ed were the ones who couldn't make it and most of them were our 'regulars'. Then we had a couple of other regulars who were maybe's because of operation dates and sick parents that they care for. The ones we hadn't heard from were the ones we were so sure wouldn't come. Pieter was ready to cancel because he was worried there wouldn't be enough people. I told him it didn't matter how many came, we were still going to have the party and could have just as much fun with a handful of people as with a full house of people.

Well, the maybe's ended up being able to come and the ones we didn't think would come are coming and we even picked up a few new ones along the way. So we went from Pieter wanting to cancel to having around 20 at this moment. So don't give up and make a few phone calls to the ones you really want at your party. Phone calls are much more personal anyway.

MsM


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## Polycat (Aug 26, 2005)

I hear ya! Our first year, we literally had **4** people. Last year, 25 or so, this year its going to be more than 50 (Thank G-d we moved to a bigger house!) But of course, very few RSVPs, we had to call or Email to find out if they were coming. Take a lot of time and prep for decorating inside, (Outside is AWESOME..pics someday!) and food/drinks. (we have "witches fingers" which are cheetos, "bloody fingers & balls" which are hot BBQ meatballs and mini sausage, "sprited ectoplasm" which is jello shots, "swamp water" punch, "devils eyes" (devilled eggs) "ghost eyes", mini cheesecakes with a cherry on top and a cheese platter with a few plastic rats nibbling (I have got to get picture abilites to show you all!!)

Anyone in Chicago area wants to come, its this Saturday. PM me and I'll shoot you the invite!

me:>Ow


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## SkullAndBone (Aug 18, 2005)

Zombie has a point.. I get evites to things I never heard of as a form of spam.


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## Wolfman (Apr 15, 2004)

That's cold, man, your first year in the new digs, and they can't make it out there? Cold.

My advice? Go overboard on the Haunt, and make them regret not coming. A few years ago I had a lot of folks say that they would come, then didn't show up. When they heard (from others) about what a great spectacle it was, they were truly sorry that they had gotten lazy at the last minute, and felt badly that ther kids had missed the show. Now, they're regulars, wouldn't miss it for the World. For now, depend on the only ones that you CAN count on to show up...the kids.


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## AliveNBuried (Aug 23, 2004)

Well, after reading Patriots rant and the other members, I feel a bit better. I too had the problem with rsvps. About half the people (20 or so) invited rsvp-ed almost as soon as they got the invite, while the other half didn't. Some waited to last minute, but others didn't rsvp at all. It hurt my feelings because whenever I was invited to a party of theirs, I rsvp-ed. It's a consideration. How tough is it to call or e-mail and say yes or no. I'm not going to be mad if they don't come, disappointed maybe, but not mad. I'd rather know ahead of time that I only need to buy beer and food for "X" amount of people rather than guess or assume "Y" amount are coming. Actually, the party is in its third year, and I'm already tiring of it. Sure, it's fun for them, and I enjoy it briefly, but I spend too much time frantically getting props ready, buying food and drink ($$$) and running around catering to the guests to really enjoy it. Plus, I hate post party clean-up. We'll do it next year, but I can't see this lasting forever. Oh, and as for the griping about costumes, we had that problem after last years party. So along with the invites this year I suggested some sites to find quick, home-made costumes. That way they couldn't complain about cost and hassel of finding one in a store. Just remember, not everybody in the world is as gung-ho for 10/31 as the people here.


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## wilbret (Oct 8, 2004)

*That stinks!*

RSVP must have no meaning to most people. 

If your friends are really sticks in the mud, don't plan on a party. If you really just don't give them enough time to plan for it, try to work with them to pick a better date.

What type of neighborhood do you live in? Maybe you can make it a block party and make some new friends?

And yeah, screw the people that never do anything social. I don't understand those types.


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## Marksin (Sep 18, 2004)

The Patriot (and find some like minded fun people)

boo (INVITE ALL OF US!!!!! We'll all appreciate it an maybe even help you clean up after.)

Polycat (Anyone in Chicago area wants to come, its this Saturday. PM me and I'll shoot you the invite)

you said it ,like minded people.

Get to know the forum members in your area , you my find alot of halloween minded people you might want to invite to future party's. There are people who will come because it's a party , but are not into halloween , these are the ,do I have to wear a costume people.


I moved to PA , and found there are alot of people with in a 90 minutes of me . and they like halloween .

If you do find friends in the forum , and throw a party , make it early oct , they all have haunts on Halloween weekend.


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## ironmaiden (Aug 5, 2003)

I am a very shy person myself, hardly an extrovert which is why the guest list for our annaul Halloween party is strictly limited to the same few members of the family. They always show up and I thoroughly enjoy their company.

Now that my twin nephews are turning two years old I am really looking forward to seeing how they experience their Auntie's favorite holiday. I am going to teach them how to carry on the Halloween spirit . 

(After all, someday they are going to inherit all the plastic bins chock full of decorations.  )

ironmaiden


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## moonstarling61 (Aug 13, 2003)

UMMM well if it makes you feel any better--
Our RSVP list sucks also--- Some years they all show, some years they don't ......and guess who has QUIT spending like 400-500 on the party period.

If it wasn't for my kids birthdays (Oct 26 th & 29th) I wouldn't bother anymore period--- after 15 yrs of parties I am Burnt to a CRISP...

I use to be QUITE elaborate with making ALL the food, jello molds, ect;
Now they get chips & dip and I Still make a huge pot of chili..I STILL get the keg & Make Jello shots but that is more for us.....

The days of elaborate spreads, with chicken wings, tons of work included are no more.. Hey I'll send ya a copy of my Invite page and I have the same RSVP ration also...

F&^* em all I AM GOING to HAVE FUN-- I have earned it


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## Scary Barry (Oct 6, 2004)

Idea.....Don't send e-mail invites. Use real invitations. Paper invitations with creepy pics and cool fonts. Talk to the people you invite asking them if they're coming. Stir up some excitement about the party. 

Tell them the boss is coming in costume and make them think they're the only one who won't be there. Deceptive?...yes but they'll have fun and next year they'll come because they had a good time.

My kids invited about 200 kids this year and about 90 showed up. Every time we've had a party about 50% of the invited guests showed.


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## CreepyKitty (Jul 19, 2004)

Wow I totally understand your situation The Patriot. I am having a hard time getting people to come to The Mad Tea Party, which I have been planning since January. I have only had one person ***** about dressing up, but I seriously doubt they will be coming ONLY because he has to dress up(he actually told me he was coming BEFORE I sent out the invites that asked to dress up, then I got an email from him saying he might not be able to come and does he really have to dress up, which made me kind of angry.). I had one friend tell me she can't because she is going on a date (DUH! Why can't she just bring her dang date with her? I even told her that and she didn't respond.) So far I have the same people who are actually coming that came to my bday party which I invited everyone else and no one showed up. I am trying to not let it bum me out too much and just try to have fun with the people who actually come. I am also still going to try to make my Halloween parties and annual event for those who do give a damn.

I just keep saying "Thats fine, I will just invite those who has showed up for everything next year... it will be more like a V.I.P Halloween Party." Maybe not really, but it makes me feel better.


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## chartres (May 18, 2004)

I would agree with the paper invites; and...

If it is your first Halloween party, make costumes optional. Not everyone likes to dress up and some can be put off as to having to pick out a costume. However, once they get to the party, they see others dressed up and are more likely to consider getting a costume if you have a Halloween party as an annual thing. One of the biggest fears the timid party-goer has is that they will be the only one in costume.

Something similar to this happened to friends of mine. Their first party has maybe 10 people show up and about half in costume. The invitees who did not attend seemed to make a big issue about wearing costumes "Do we really have to wear a costume?" Consequently, most did not show up. The following year he made it very very very clear that costumes were optional, only please come. He had about 30 show up with half in costume. The following year it was closer to 50 with about 75% in costume.

Once people see that they will not be the lone person in costume, they tend to come around. Hopefully, you will have a better response next year!


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## scarysharon (Oct 21, 2005)

Patriot that truly sucks.

This is our third party. We have about 30 showing up. Our house couldn't take much more! It says RSVP on the paper invites, but I don't expect to get much response. Most will just show up or tell me. There is always a core group of close friends (some of my close friends don't even see each other except for the party - different kinds of people) then other invites branch off from there.

The first year we did the party a few people bitched about costumes. It was one thing I would not give up however, so on our invites it says COSTUMES ONLY (otherwise birthday suit will do). They know me well enough that I may just mean it!

This is my view on my party.
It's one night a year when adults, who are stressed the rest of the year with house payments, car payments, crappy jobs, tending to kids etc, etc, etc, get to put their hair down and be a kid again. Putting a costume on means becoming someone else for the night. They can hide behind them in a sense and let go of their usual hang ups.

How many adults play games anymore? Maybe if they have kids. Every year I get complaints that we need more games, so this year they've got what they want.

My party is meant for me as much as my guests. I want to be able to enjoy myself without worrying about cooking and serving. I don't get into the creepy food stuff. I order sandwich, veggie and dip and dessert trays from the local grocery store and set it all out at midnight to get food in the bellys of drinkers. Snacks are out all night long. 

I also don't buy their alcohol! Listen, most people we know are in the same position as we are and money is tight most times. My party is BYOB. I set up coolers for the drinks and people deal with that themselves. It was actually friends that came up with this idea because I was fretting the first year about the cost. The only thing I provide is jello shots.

One thing I find is that people can be lazy. They read the RSVP but don't repsond. I had someone the first year miss the party and after hearing how great it was wanted to know why I hadn't called to remind them????? I told them that it said RSVP, I didn't have time to call everyone and they still could have come, RSVP or not. They were so miffed that I didn't seem to care, that they haven't missed one yet and are about the only ones to RSVP every year!!!! LOL! Make people think they are not that important (even though they think so themselves) and suddenly it's a different story!


I had panic and meloncholy set in the other night and told DH I wasn't sure I wanted to have the party. I know it was just an attack of "I've done all this work, will it even be appreciated?" BUT, my kids love it, DH and I love it and the others don't matter.

I agree with others that have said to still have your party, just know it will be smaller than you thoguht. When word gets round that everyone had a blast you'll have more people come next year.

I really hope this works out for you.
Sharon.


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## Jack Skellington (Oct 25, 2005)

Sorry to hear of your bad experience Patriot.

We started our Halloween Party many years ago when a neighbor complained that no one ever had a Halloween Party. That was the beginning of the many years of my Halloween obsession.

For the first three years it was a small group of friends who looked forward to the event with great anticipation. Every year my haunts would improve so there was always something to draw them back to see what new crazy deocrations and effects I could come up with.

Then one year I expanded my invitation to coworkers and other acquaintances. It was going to literally be a *full house* of people. Of course that was the year of my greatest disappointment. Many of those *new* people bagged it at the last minute. Luckily my true friends came as they always do.

My new rule is you get once chance. If you don't show and you have some lame excuse you never get another invitation. So far it works really well. It's not the quantity but the quality of guests that really matters.

Try and have a happy haunting.


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## john (Aug 9, 2004)

Patriot - You are at that 30+ age where people start having kids and get REAL settled. They forego things like parties because they might miss Survivor. I have to use a freakin' blow torch to light fires under my friends to get them to do anything. When you get a little older parties do not have as much appeal. When your 21 you look forward to getting drunk and maybe even getting lucky. When your 41 you think about the hangover, worry about driving home and if your mariied, you know your not getting any.
My advice is to have parties for your kids and their friends. They appreciate it more and have more fun.
On a side note, I read a good tip one time concerning costume parties. Someone suggested that you give people a theme like Vampires, so everyone has that to work with and do not get mind locked trying to some up with an idea.


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## azwitch (Oct 6, 2005)

I really hope this works out for you.
Sharon.[/QUOTE]



Sharon
I entirely agree with you. I had the same issues as 'everyone' here about attendance, RSVP, $$$$, etc.... After a few years of 'mastering' the party technique, I finally learned that you invite who you want there (and a few extra)..whoever shows up great, if they dont, it's their loss. Sure it's great to have a HUGE party, but I've found that sometimes it's just as good with a smaller group of people too.
In MY case, mostly everyone I invite shows up, BUT they come in 'shifts' throughout the night(attending other parties I'm assuming). That works out great too, keeps from being TOO chaotic, and ya have the opportunity to hang with different people rather than being STUCK with the same ones all night(lol)
After the first year of buying EVERYTHING and having a crappy turnout, I started the BYOB thing and bring a 'snack' if ya want. I supply jello shots and a 'really spiked' punch. Most people are concentrating on drinking anyway and noone really eats(at least in MY case it's that way)
I emphasize to all I invite(ESPECIALLY THE ONES WITH KIDS) "THIS IS YOUR night to party-do it for yourself"...whoever shows great-if they dont, we all have a good enough time anyway.
Don't get discouraged Patriot.....sometimes if ya keep the mindset of expecting a poor turnout and still go thru with it, than any EXTRA people who show would just be an added bonus.


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## The Patriot (Aug 1, 2005)

Patriot here again. Thanks all for the words to ponder.

I am in the process of putting the word out today that I am canceling the party. I'm not ranting to them as I do this...I'm just simply stating that we are canceling the party. I'm waiting till there are only a few people at work here towards the end of the workday. I don't want to deal with talking to even the few who might approach me to see what's going on. I'm sure they'll all breath a sigh of relief. 

I want to clarify with everyone here. I have small gatherings with my close guy friends when we geek out for gaming nights and such. Part of what was going to be potentially very interesting with my party was to have an event where so many people from different aspects of life would be together. These are people who I know love to engage in conversations about anything and everything and it would have been very memorable to have had them in the same house together. 

My wife and I are just going through an epiphany that the old acquaintances who we didn't want to see fade into our past...maybe should be allowed to do so. You all have those types of people in your lives. Maybe an old neighbor or co-worker that you enjoyed but weren't close friends with. But, you were close enough to invite them to events and gatherings so your paths would continue to cross. Well, some of these people have had excuses (very lame ones) to not come to the small gatherings even recently, so it's time to let them go. 

My wife and I were talking about investing our energies and time into forging new bonds. I believe this will be far better than to continue keeping the old ones alive.

Patriot

PS...We live in the southern metro of the Twin Cities, Minnesota.


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## SkullAndBone (Aug 18, 2005)

Time is the great friend filter... 

Now if I could only get it to work on family.


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## NailBiter (Sep 13, 2005)

I'm with VikeMan and Wolfman!

THROW YOUR PARTY! Make it the party everyone will talk about, even if 'everyone' is only 6 people. Word of mouth will make all the others regret not coming, and your annual party will grow as the years go on.
I've had the same experience. We had our first party last year on Deer Hunting Opener. A handful of people didn't come because they were hunting. Because of what they heard about last years party, some of these same people are actually skipping the opener so they can be at this years party!
Don't be bummed about those who dont show, just be grateful for those who do.....you'll know who your true friends are.


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## azwitch (Oct 6, 2005)

The Patriot said:


> Patriot here again. Thanks all for the words to ponder.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


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## drunk_buzzard (Sep 9, 2003)

sisvicki said:


> And so, to cure this lackluster, shameful enthusiasm for the great Halloween, I propose we begin a petition to change . . yes, CHANGE. . .the date of Halloween. Change it to always fall on the last Saturday of October. I think it's only befitting.


That's ludicrous! I love Halloween being on Monday this year. That gives me 3 days of celebration! Last year I had to cram everything into one day. Me and my guests were too exhausted to get drunk that night. 

I agree that Halloween seems to be skipped over this year, but that's because of the retailers. I've been told that Christmas is pushed so hard b/c retailers want people to spend spend spend before they get their heating bills. 

Now there's something that's scary!


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## drunk_buzzard (Sep 9, 2003)

Maybe one of the problems is counting on coworkers to come? Work is such a complicated issue when it comes to parties. In many instances, you spend more time with coworkers than family. And yet, there are only a few we want to associate with outside of work. 

For the most part, I've found that I only have a couple coworkers that a close enough to make the drive over and attend. But those few are hesitant because they don't know anyone else at the party, so they don't come. Sometimes, other "friend groups" like college buddies, etc feel the same way. The end result is a handful of guests!

I decided that small parties were better than 50 people I only sort-of know. I don't bother with coworkers unless I know they really want to come. I focus on the people that I see outside of work, because in these cases the people involve make an effort to see each other.


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## NailBiter (Sep 13, 2005)

The Patriot said:


> Patriot
> 
> PS...We live in the southern metro of the Twin Cities, Minnesota.


Patriot-
My wife and I are having our party on Nov 5th in Elko MN!
Its family/friends-kids/adults....about 75 people. They're from all differerent groups, so you could blend right in! Its obviously a costume party, which makes it even easier to blend/mingle!

If you're interested, I'd love to meet a fellow Halloween addict in person!
PM your email address if you and your wife are interested in stopping by, and I'll email an official invite!

Nailbiter


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## Wyatt Furr (Aug 27, 2005)

My first halloween party only a few showed up and complained that they had to dress up.It took a while, but I found new friends that ask every year if I'm having a party and they ALL dress up.Just keep trying, the word will get around. I moved 4 years ago and when my new nieghbors found out I was having a party dressed as a group.And they invite thier friends.....I expect 40 to 50 this year.Better than the half dozen the first few years.


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## The Devils Ewok (Nov 4, 2004)

Too bad man that sucks, thats why I stick with scaring the spit out of trick or treaters.
They ALWAYS show up.


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## TropicalJewel (Aug 28, 2005)

Well we are throwing a party this year and we invited 40 or so people. We created invitations and made them all individualized. We even mailed a few. We got almost all of them out on October 1 or the first weekend in. We asked for RSVP's by the 22nd. We have not heard from one single person as yet. Sure my mom, bro, sis, best friend will come but wth? I am catering the thing myself. Don't people like free food and drinks anymore? Of cos I am not providing liquor but is that what they want? Last year we had a small gathering. Half of those that came did not dress up. And all those that showed up were half of the amount we invitied. This year no one gets in without a costume... that is if anyone comes. I am somewhat bent at my bro tho. He refuses to dress up anymore and has not since we were teenagers. He even made some of his own costumes back then. This year he bought that rediculous "Humphrey the Humping Dog" for his costume from Spirit. That is all he is wearing and it will be on his leg. Gawd I am so hoping that is not really his costume but a minor joke on me.
Granted I love decorating and prepping for the TOTs but we are going through so much effort to have not heard from anyone. I will see how things turn out after this party on Saturday. If hardly anyone comes, I prolly am not even gonna try next year with a party. 
SHEESH!

Mo-


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## The Patriot (Aug 1, 2005)

TropicalJewel said:


> Granted I love decorating and prepping for the TOTs but we are going through so much effort to have not heard from anyone. I will see how things turn out after this party on Saturday. If hardly anyone comes, I prolly am not even gonna try next year with a party.
> SHEESH!
> 
> Mo-


This is why I cancelled. I was about 40% done with the decorating and about 50% done with all the massive amount of cleaning of the house that needed to be done. Remember this was a bit of a house warming and people would like to look at the bedroom and all (my wife and I are known for having a flair for decorating and people have acted like they wanted to see what we've done). Anyways, the reason why I didn't scale things back and just quickly go for a smaller party was that no matter what we were going to have to clean the house to "show quality" and the games and points of interest were planed and set up for at least bare minimum of 40+ people...not 10. I feel for you TropicalJewel, I looked at the decorating you've done for this year and I have a great deal of empathy with how much effort you've put into your decorating. Also a hint. The "wall clings" work really well if you put them up with tacks and not tape...then again maybe you have a better idea to share. I just found with tape they kept falling down.

Take care,

Jim-The Patriot


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## Vikeman (Oct 17, 2003)

Patriot, Sorry to hear your canceling the party. We are lucky that we have a good group of friends that love to get together and have a party. Usually all they need is a reason. Most people were "asking us" if we were still planning a party, since we just had a son born in August. That makes me think that they are at least looking forward to the party! We have friends that throw a hugh Christmas party, Super Bowl party, birthday's, but no one did a Halloween party. This will be our fourth one and it should be a blast. Hopefully you can stir up more interest next year. But like I said before, our first one was small. Word gets around and people will come.


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## The Patriot (Aug 1, 2005)

I would love for all those here who have shared their thoughts and who are having a party this weekend to, to let us know on this thread how it went. Maybe we can all learn from each other's experiences like we so often do on this board.

The Patriot


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## Moonchicky (Jun 4, 2005)

Well I'm bummed today. I just cancelled my office Halloween luncheon/party. What kills me is that earlier in the month, when I decorated my cube area/department everyone went NUTS - they thought it was the best thing ever. I'm new to the company, and have heard it's been a few years since they had a party - they stopped doing them because no one really took the initiative. So I jumped in, and came up with a really clever promotional theme that ties into our business AND Halloween. I made posters, sent emails, created a sign up sheet in the kitchen for pot-luck. I also schedule a blood drive that day - what a great fit. I even went to Party City and bought table cloths, cups, plates etc - for about 50 people. I was planning to really decorate the conference room - and play music on our stereo system and there is a dry ice shop down the street that I was going to pick up ice from. 

About a week ago, I noticed there were like only three names on the sign up sheet, mine being one. Oh yeah, and there's about 50 people in my office. So, I've sent out reminders. Today I started walking the office and flat out asking if people were going and here's what I heard:

"Oh, pot lucks are hard to do on a Monday because I will forget to bring something in over the weekend"

"I don't want to go through the hassle of wearing a costume" (which is NOT mandatory)

"I'm just too busy to think about celebrating Halloween"

"Oh, the company isn't providing the food?"

"I was going to sign up but I don't know what to bring" (I had a detailled list of example items like soda, ice, chips etc. ) 

So screw 'em all!!!! I'm glad I didn't buy the materials yet to make my skeleton trophy and my "ghoulish gourmet" award for best dish - it was going to be a cloth apron with blood and eyeballs and rats glued to it! This company doesn't know what they are missing. In fact, I've already taken the day off of work now because I just don't want to be there on my favorite day. I may even have to cancel the blood drive because out of 20 slots, only 5 people signed up. How lame. I think I may quit.


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## MsMeeple (Aug 21, 2004)

That's really awful! Your coworkers should have been honest with you in the beginning about how they felt about dressing up, bringing food, and donating blood instead of waiting till right before the office party.

I wouldn't quit if I were you. I'd just think of a horrible halloween 'trick' to play on them. Revenge is sweet 

MsM


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## The Patriot (Aug 1, 2005)

Moonchicky said:


> Well I'm bummed today. I just cancelled my office Halloween luncheon/party.


Moonchicky, I thought I might be hitting a nerve with my rant...but your story really resonated with me. Metaphorically speaking, you offered these people a flavorable soup and they either would put in only a stone into the ingrediants or worse yet, just sit in their cubes with their pathetic grey stone not even offering to put it into the soup. Okay it's a weird metaphore...but it reverses the story of the traveler who went in a village and started boiling water in the middle of the square and put a stone in it. Many people questioned what he was doing and he told them what a wonderful soup he was making out of stone. To make a long story short....many people started putting in vegetables, spices, meat, etc...until the traveler was able to get the villagers to make him (or her) a "stone" soup. 

Well, as I stated, in your case you are a traveler (newer employee) who offered them flavorable soup....and in this case, the villagers only offered to put rocks into your cauldron.

I myself wish I had never put out an invite to the 23 co-workers I have in my office (playing office politics) and maybe just put the invite out to 5 people who deserve an invite. 

The Patriot


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## boyjim1976 (Oct 23, 2004)

I had the same problem last time I threw a big Halloween bash... however, almost all of the guests showed for the party... even through I couldn't get them to respond to the e-vite.


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## tignyx (Jul 15, 2004)

I get lucky. I work about an hour away from where I live and 99% of the people I work with live within 5....10 minutes of the office so I don't even worry about inviting them because I know they would not come. 

I can understand how you all feel though. The worst is when you do all this planning and take on all of the responsibility yourself and then everyone just basically throws it back in your face. Especially those that act like it will be too much of a hassle.


Jim........I have found out that evite responses are horrendous. The best you can hope for with that is seeing that people have at least viewed it. I have now gotten to the point with my Halloween and New Years parties that I know the core people that will definitely be there and anyone else that happens to show up is just icing on the cake. I've gotten past the point of being let down if some people don't show up and am happy for those that do show up. It shows you who your true friends are.


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## Moonchicky (Jun 4, 2005)

Interesting! I've always heard the phrase Stone Soup - but never the story. Yep, I guess I have a soupless stone???  

Today a couple of people asked about the party - like they were all sympathetic to me - poooooor Moonchicky, she tried to throw a party, sigh........ UGH. Oh - and one person asked if I was going to try and throw a Christmas party....what????? Bite me. I was so ticked that I started taking down my Halloween decorations at the office....someone said, "oh no, you're taking that down already?" - Uh yeah, cause you stink. LOL. 

I'm still hosting the blood drive, and I am going to go into the office on Monday morning just to set it up, do a quick office huddle, and then give a pint. And I'm dressing up too...and they will all be jealous because they'll wish THEY had worn THEIR costumes and then they'll feel bad because they'll realize they missed out on something fun, and then I'll disconnect all their mouses and remove a wheel from their chair and.......


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## moonstarling61 (Aug 13, 2003)

*JOHN*
as I sit here in the dark on the early Morn of a Halloween party this evening I am throwing.....and wondering JUST what my guest list will turn out this made me laugh



> When your 21 you look forward to getting drunk and maybe even getting lucky. When your 41 you think about the hangover, worry about driving home and if your mariied, you know your not getting any.


my party should be good then..the adult side of it anyway.... most of the servers I work with are between 20-30 so they should get the Party started even if the Hostess has had no sleep.........

Hmmmmmmmmmm I guess we shall see this evening
LOL!


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## Sooz (Aug 3, 2005)

Well, I guess I don't feel as bad now.

My neighborhood "event committee" decided two months ago to do a full size haunt... I, being perceived as the leader, coordinated the whole thing. We were on the verge of ironing out final details when everybody stopped talking about it for a couple of weeks. I sent out emails, no responses, so I asked them if they wanted to do a charity raffle instead and they agreed.

Long story short, couldn't find enough donations for stuff to raffle so we made it into a cookout. The day before the cookout, we had ONE RSVP, and one of the three planners decided to go on a date night with her husband instead of coming to the party. We cancelled.

I'm not about to bust @$$ planning anything else for this neighborhood. We've only been here a year and are thinking about finding a bigger house closer in anyway. Nobody seems excited about anything but me.


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## allhallowseve (Sep 15, 2005)

People are funny about costumes. It is just like pictures. You know. No one wants to take the pictures or take the time and money to print them, but everybody wants to see them. No one wants to go through the trouble of coming up with a costume, but everybody wants to see you dress up.
Scream Jeanne


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## azwitch (Oct 6, 2005)

[ No one wants to go through the trouble of coming up with a costume, but everybody wants to see you dress up.
Scream Jeanne[/QUOTE]

I had one guest that I had actually invited 2 MONTHS in advance(she's known to procrastenate). Come the DAY of the party she calls and cancels cause she couldn't come up with a costume idea....gimme a break!


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