# Had to cancel today



## Elza (Jun 21, 2004)

Had to cancel my Murder Mystery Party today. I couldn't get people to commit and have been trying to write, re-write and re-re-write to fit the number of people and just had to give up. 

I'm very sad...I've been sending save the dates since August in the form of my newspaper articles to over 40 people and could only get 5 firm commitments and some maybes. 

If a Halloween Murder Mystery won't draw people, with the notice I've given, I think I am going to give up on parties.

When I get moved into a House in December, I'm sticking to TOT's.


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## Frankie's Girl (Aug 27, 2007)

Aw, that's too bad. I'm sorry that your friends flaked out about the party. 

At least you didn't get told this at the last minute, after setting up your house for a party. That really would have sucked.


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## UnOrthodOx (Apr 24, 2007)

I feel your pain. 

We tried the same thing when we first got married. Got tired of people comitting and not showing up or declining, then showing up anyway, and trying to get folks in costume was ludicrous...

Not to mention upsetting some friends that had become overly religious for their own good. 

Ya know...I've never regretted the decision to focus on the ToTs.


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## Elza (Jun 21, 2004)

I've already done 98% of the decorating. I just figured the way things were going, I get it written to fit the group coming and then I'd have no-shows and mess everything up. So I figured I'd just cancel it completely rather than have the people who did commit be disappointed.


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## Dark Star (Sep 24, 2007)

Sometimes people are so rude. I mean are they busy or not?? Send a definite RSVP an be done with it...I am so sorry. 

Have you thought of doing a small dinner party with just your close friends who you know you can count on?


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## Elza (Jun 21, 2004)

One of my friends (the first to commit) just emailed me and said..."Okay, the party is off, but save that date. I am going to take you someplace (it's a surprise) and we will celebrate Halloween and your birthday at the same time."

So, thank goodness for friends you can lean on.


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## Gothikren (Aug 17, 2008)

Oh what a great friend. I'm so terribly sorry to hear that you didn't get enough people. I was planning on trying to do a party here (other than the cubscout one), but decided it's just not worth it noone shows and the few that do go to a billion other events on the same night it seems and of course they come to mine first and leave early. It always makes me sad  . I have one friend who is always here for everything I ever do. I wish I could have more friends like that.


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## Rikki (Aug 14, 2006)

I'm sorry to hear about your party. People always flake out. It seems like they don't even care how much work you put into something. There's no way I'd try to do something where I needed to know how many guests would be there. I don't even try to fix enough food for everyone - I just put "finger foods available - first come, first served" on the invitations.


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## MJDeadzines (Oct 17, 2006)

Elza said:


> I've already done 98% of the decorating. I just figured the way things were going, I get it written to fit the group coming and then I'd have no-shows and mess everything up. So I figured I'd just cancel it completely rather than have the people who did commit be disappointed.


thats usually how our parties turned out so we just decided not to bother. 
We are decorating for TOT's only.



Whens your birthday? I love that I can celebrate Halloween and my birthday around the same time. I wish I was born on Halloween but its close enough that I can still go to haunted houses on my birthday. 

I'm in the DFW area as well.


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## MrsMyers666 (Oct 19, 2004)

Elza I'm so sorry you had to cancel. Enjoy your decorations though for yourself. Sounds like you've got a great friend there. I can definitely sympathize with you on the no response thing.


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## Chalice (Aug 30, 2008)

Elza, I am so sorry  I have had that sort of thing happen to me, and it always hurts. You pour your heart and soul into a party, do months of planning, and then people just blow you off. I'm glad that you have a friend who cares about you enough to take you out and make sure you have a special time. If I lived near you, I would so come to your party and dress up as any character you wish and do your murder mystery.


/hug


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## Elza (Jun 21, 2004)

MJDeadzines..my birthday is the 23rd. (I wish it was Halloween). The only family I have left is my daughter and grand baby so most Holidays are pretty lonely as my daughter's dad always insists she spend them with his side of the family which is quite large...so Halloween is my Holiday and my friends are my family during this time of year...er ...um....well the few I have left of those that is. 

This forum is like a family now...there's always someone here who wants to share....funny how there are more people on the planet than ever and we're always so alone.


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## pandora (Jul 15, 2004)

Elza, I'm so sorry to hear that. That really really sucks. Your friend sounds like a gem, though, and that's a valuable thing to have. It's not the quantity of your friends, it's the QUALITY. And the ones that flaked on the party - it's their loss, not yours. Keep your chin up!


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## MichaelMyers1 (Jan 12, 2008)

So sorry to hear about your party! If I lived close I would come! We had the same problem for several years, and we gave up too! People say they would come, then not, or come and stay for a bit and leave.. Now we decorate for TOT and ourselves and that is a lot of enjoyment for us!


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## Tish (Aug 5, 2008)

Aw, that really sucks about your party  Seems like it is an off year for parties. I've gotten 3 firm yes rsvps so far. Out of almost 30 people. Glad you have a good friend though who you get to go out and have fun with instead.


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## MsMeeple (Aug 21, 2004)

Sorry to hear about your party. But I think you did the right thing. Better to cancel than to end up with a mess.
Your suprise evening with your friend sounds like a much better time anyway!
Hang in there.

MsM


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## Muffy (Sep 25, 2006)

Elza....I too am so sorry for you I know how you feel. I have been trying to have a halloween party in my house for 4 years now. I don't know a lot of people here but the ones that know me, know me well enough to come to my house for a party. No matter what they all have excuses when I start asking about halloween. 

This year I'm not having a halloween party but I'm having a Halloween Christmas party Dec. 13th.. Its for all the forum members here & from some other forums that live within a close enough proximity for us to meet. Its a social gathering for the members to bring their families & for us forum members to get an agenda together & try to form a prop building group.

I would have loved to have had it around halloween but as haunters we are so busy getting ready for halloween night that its almost impossible to get together any of the weekends in Oct.. I do understand these folks have jobs & families & along with getting their decorations up there is only so many weekends available. BUT I am also a person that believes if you don't take time in life to enjoy yourself man these times just get away from us.

I feel so sorry that people did what they did to you.......and your comment about there being so many people on the planet now & still we find ourselves alone.....well Elza that is quite an observation my friend so sad yet so true. Its like me I am caught up in the memories of my Grandmothers parties, of the joy she created for all her friends......no one missed out on those parties. I have tried so hard to follow in her footsteps but I'm a pretty rusty hostess considering how long its been since I threw a party.

You keep your chin up there Elza & be grateful to have a few dear friends, just know the rest of us are experiencing that too when you look thru this section & see how many of us have sad & disappointing comments to make on account of our friends not wanting to attend or stay at our parties.

I say for those of you that have guests you can count on....consider yourself very lucky!!

the Muffster


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## jkcoop (Oct 11, 2004)

We've done parties on and off as we've gotten tired of doing them. We do what we do for the enjoyment of actual Halloween night and kids. The party the Saturday before has become an after thought the last couple of years after taking a break from it for a while.
We had some who really, really wanted us to do it, because it was the only time they could get over to see our house/yard. So what we implemented was having everyone bring an appetizer to share. We'll provide drinks - only sodas/beer/wine - no other alcohol.
It has made the whole thing less stressful.
Whoever comes, great. I don't stress out getting food ready for it.

We did a murder mystery party a few months ago (from a box - nothing elaborate like what you were planning) and it took a bit to get a night that worked for all the couples. I can only imagine the nightmare of what you were planning! I'm so sorry you went to the trouble then had to cancel. People, in general, are flakes - and don't want to commit to things for fear something better will come along.


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## Spyderella (Oct 9, 2008)

I feel your pain. My party was cancelled because of lack of interest. I put up flyers at work in early September. Everyone either already had plans or is ethically against celebrating Halloween. I think it's the area I live in. I need to move.


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## The Halloween Goblin (Nov 16, 2005)

Elza said:


> MJDeadzines..my birthday is the 23rd. (I wish it was Halloween). The only family I have left is my daughter and grand baby so most Holidays are pretty lonely as my daughter's dad always insists she spend them with his side of the family which is quite large...so Halloween is my Holiday and my friends are my family during this time of year...er ...um....well the few I have left of those that is.
> 
> This forum is like a family now...there's always someone here who wants to share....funny how there are more people on the planet than ever and we're always so alone.


 Your birthday is two days before mine, and I was born two years before
you! We're both Scorpios! Sorry to hear about your party. Too bad I don't
live closer to you, then you'd have six guests! I kind of know how you feel 
though. I've decorated the past years and nobody came around! Some of
my family members tell me not to bother this year cause nobody will come
around to see it. I tell them I do it more for myself than anyone else and I
would keep on doing it till the day I die.....and for several years thereafter!


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