# What do you do with party poopers that won't wear a costume?



## melissa (Jul 23, 2004)

What a downer!

My initial reaction would be to make costumes mandatory. I went to an annual party for a few years and everyone knew that if you showed up not in costume, then the hostess would dress you and you might not like it. In 3-4 years, I can only remember 1 person brave/lazy enough.

My other reaction would be to not invite her, because she doesn't seem to want to actually go to a Halloween party. 

Having said all that, the IDEAL situation would be a party where she is one of a small number of poopers who don't dress up and feel left out. (Definitely have prizes - one more thing to miss out on.) She can sit out the activities, if there are any. Just don't let her attitude infect yours! If she starts griping and trying to suck you in, it would be great if you have a friend who could run interference and tell her to knock it off - it's a party!

I will say that this year is the first year we are asking people to wear costumes. People have commented, gratefully, in the past that they're relieved not to have to deal with them. (We're still giving them an out, if they pay attention. They can come as zombies, zombie hunters, or survivors. Survivors could, technically, be plain-clothes, although I hope people use a little imagination.)


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## pumpkinpie (Jul 9, 2011)

We deal with this crowd every year...usually they are trying to convince me how clever their costume/lack there of is...."sports t=sports fan, everyday cloths= person who doesn't want to b here...etc etc). It absolutely infuriates me grrrr

By all means I know how hard and expensive putting a costume together can b so I don't expect much...but what I do expect is for one measly night out of the year...we take our adult clothes off and pretend were a super hero or a witch...whatever. For one stinking night I want us too play games we would have never thought of as stupid at 8....for one night I just want too be a kid again (drinking cocktails lol)!!!!! Is that too much to ask....


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## Palladino (Aug 29, 2013)

I say if they won't wear a costume - they'll just bring the party down. Cross them off your invite list!


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## Icepick (Nov 24, 2013)

In this particular scenerio, I would ask your hubby to tell his friend and wife, that you asked them to come (as you said , had to ask due to work) but that they do t have to come, being there will be stupid games and stupid costumes. I would have told her that when she told you how stupid it is. 

Some people just don't get into any holiday. I myself love Halloween and everything it entails. Christmas on the other hand, meh, I can take or leave it. If it wasn't for my wife and son, I wouldn't decorate for that at all.


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## diajoh (Sep 25, 2010)

Written invitations that say costumes are mandatory, that the party will be filled with activities and games -- no time for idleness. Say that those in no costumes will be turned away at the door, and ask (in the invitation) for help from all party-goers in enforcing that rule. 
Yes, you have to invite them, but once they are in the door (if they make it that far), ignore them. Let them sit in the corner and pout. Or put a TV tray and two folding chairs in another room and let them have their own party. Sh!t, decorate it like a tomb and lock them in.


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## JustWhisper (Nov 16, 2008)

I am liking Icepick's post twice because the forum will only let me like it once. I love that response. Are you actually giving out invitations or just posting a general message to everyone? If you are giving out invitations note in the invitation it is mandatory costumes and there will be *silly* games. Maybe she will get the hint and stay home. Or you could state anyone not wanting to wear a costume and play silly games is not obligated to attend.


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## offmymeds (May 26, 2010)

I hate to think that you "have" to invite someone who clearly has no desire to even be there.......Maybe they won't even show up, but from the rude response they had, they will be the one couple who shows up, No costume, no hostess gift, sit in a corner all night judging other people about what they are wearing and how they are acting.........
I went through the whole "do I have to invite this person?'' thing.........when I send someone an invite 2 yrs in a row and they don't show up or even respond, guess what? you don't get invited again...and this goes for my boss as well, And we've been friends with him and his wife for years but they just don't do the Halloween thing so, I look it as their loss.
I would love to do the, If you don't come in costume, I will dress you thing" but by the time of party day, I'm lucky to get dressed myself! 

Best advice I can give you is, Do not give them the time of day at the party. It's your party, Do Not let them bring you down. You have other great guest who deserve your attention.

Relax and have fun!!


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## CMK4425 (Oct 16, 2006)

We are there to have a good time with friends so as long as you show up and enjoy yourself so be it. I love costumes but I always have a few people that don't dress up. C'est La Vie!


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## printersdevil (Sep 7, 2009)

Call it a costume party and maybe they will Get the hint


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## halloweenjon (Jul 17, 2014)

The answer is good old fashioned peer pressure.

If you've been having a Halloween party for several years, as I'm sure you have, then almost everyone should be aware that it's a "costumes required" thing. Humorously but firmly continue to implore that they at least put forth a minimal effort to put on a costume, because EVERYONE else will be dressed up. Every year I have one or two people who want to party but HATE the idea of wearing a costume, and I use the peer pressure method and let them know that it doesn't have to be a great costume but they will stick out like a sore thumb if they don't wear one at all.

The other thing I do is get out my rather substantial box of old costume accessories from Halloweens past and set it aside somewhere for costume-less people to invent something on the fly. They usually refuse but hey, you can only press people so much. If you get 95% participation I'd say you're good.


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## GiggleingGhost (Aug 10, 2014)

pumpkinpie said:


> We deal with this crowd every year...usually they are trying to convince me how clever their costume/lack there of is...."sports t=sports fan, everyday cloths= person who doesn't want to b here...etc etc). It absolutely infuriates me grrrr
> 
> By all means I know how hard and expensive putting a costume together can b so I don't expect much...but what I do expect is for one measly night out of the year...we take our adult clothes off and pretend were a super hero or a witch...whatever. For one stinking night I want us too play games we would have never thought of as stupid at 8....for one night I just want too be a kid again (drinking cocktails lol)!!!!! Is that too much to ask....


Boo pumpkinpie,
You read my mind!! I'll even settle for a funny hat! Something that says 'I tried' just once . . . gerrrr. The sad part is our hubbies are good friends, play racquetball together and he's seems to like to dressing up until she ridicules him. It's just her . . . plus she/they sure enjoy the game nights we host and trust me. . . we're all ubber fun competitive and will do any foolish thing to win. Lol. She just has to win . . . again . . . no joy even in winning??? I just don't understand how anyone can be this way or why? I've often said that if I surgically implanted a joke in her--it would die a fast death!!! Lol. Gerrrrr . . . .

GiggleingGhost . . . aka . . . GG


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## GiggleingGhost (Aug 10, 2014)

halloweenjon said:


> The answer is good old fashioned peer pressure.
> 
> The other thing I do is get out my rather substantial box of old costume accessories from Halloweens past and set it aside somewhere for costume-less people to invent something on the fly. They usually refuse but hey, you can only press people so much. If you get 95% participation I'd say you're good.




Mmmmmm . . . I like the peer pressure and I have a ton of old costume parts I could set out. That's an idea!! Or I could make giant stickers that says "imagination challenged" or "Flunked group participation class" LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL. I don't think she'd like it but boy . . . I sure would!!!!  Thank you HalloweenJon . . . Anyone else have a sticker ideas?? Too funny!


GiggleingGhost . . . aka . . . GG


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## Ophelia (Nov 3, 2009)

*I've never enforced costumes at our parties(Well, except for DH. Luckily, he's gotten into the spirit since we got together.). On my invitation I phrase it as, "Costumes are not required, but are certainly welcome!" Not everyone's into dressing up, I get that. I do like the idea of having a few items to choose at the door, and may do that this year. Especially if it's someone's first time, they may be worried about what people will think of them. Since we're rarely in an area for more than a few years, we don't really have the time to wear down/weed out people. Now, if I'm talking to someone about the party, I do talk about how fun it can be to dress up. I talk about DH, who, like I had mentioned, thought he was too old to do that sort of thing. By our third Halloween together, he'd picked out his own costume, Buddy the Elf. It's now one of his favorites, and the reaction people had at seeing my normally very proper husband in that outfit is still one of my favorite Halloween memories. Even better, only two other people had dressed up for that party, besides me. This was the man I had to force into putting a bite mark on his neck for a work party, just two years before, so we could say he had dressed up(yes, I was a vampire).

Now, this person sounds very much like friends we had at our last station. As soon as they were invited, all we'd hear about is how they dislike Halloween, hate dressing up, and can't wait until their children finally outgrow it so that they won't have to deal with it anymore. Then they'd RSVP yes. Then they'd no-show. It does bother me that, because it's Halloween, people feel like it's okay to belittle gatherings surrounding it. I'd never say anything like that when invited to Thanksgiving. "Ugh, the turkey. Can't anyone be more creative? It's all grease and carbs on the table. No one's really that thankful anyway, it's just a family guilt trip." (Not that I think that, but you get what I'm saying.) Honestly, we just invited them, never expecting them to show. With an attitude like that, and having to invite them, I'd probably just hope they don't show. If they did, be gracious, but walk away if there's poor behavior. She's an adult, it's not up to you to let her know how to be a good guest in someone else's home. She should already know that.*


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## Ophelia (Nov 3, 2009)

*As for the stickers, how about "Fantasy Deficient"?*


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## Wonderland_Brownies (Aug 14, 2014)

We do the same as Halloweenjon, we put out a box of old Halloween costume stuff, and if someone doesn't have a costume we let them invent one from the stuff we have. Some guests who didn't think they were creative enough to come up with a costume in the first place, end up having the funniest costumes! One of our good friends, Nick, found a lab/doctors coat in our stuff and walked around all night quoting the Simpsons, "Hi everybody, I'm Dr. Nick." It still wasn't the most creative costume but everyone thought it was hilarious and I think he had a lot of fun doing it as well!

I also agree with peer pressure, one of our closest friends always shows up in a costume (because we threaten to not let him in if he doesn't have one) but, he ALWAYS takes it off at some point during the party  . We make jokes about him not wearing a costume to our Halloween party all year long, and he is staying in his costume longer and longer every year! Also, there are a couple people who didn't have costumes the first couple years we had our party, but now they wear costumes. I think some people just don't want to be embarrassed, but when they've been to a costume party a few times they realize it is all in fun and they see that no one ever gets made fun of, then they are comfortable with it.

Edit: Ooooh, I really like the sticker idea as well!


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## obcessedwithit (Jul 13, 2009)

I have them be the costumes judges, this gets them involved in the party. and they seem to enjoy it. everyone is not going to dress which is a bummer, but at least they attend and have a good time.


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## dawnski (Jun 16, 2012)

I find that children who have social anxieties grow up to be adults with social anxieties. But rather than hide in a corner and not want to play, adults have found other coping skills like belittling people who like doing those things. So rather than have a bad attitude about it (which is easy to do), try and think from their perspective that they're very afraid of looking foolish. Also, you might run across adults with undiagnosed learning difficulties. I'm uncoordinated and I have trouble following too many directions, so I do feel anxious when it comes to unfamiliar games. And others may simply be introverted. I guess I'm just saying you might be surprised at how many people may feel anxious about dressing up and or taking part in games.

On our party invites, I always make sure people know that costumes are highly encouraged but that it's okay to come as you are. I don't do games but I try to set the house up so the people that like to socialize have plenty of places to hang out and the people that are more introverted have enough curious things to look at that might also act as conversation starters. 

When I started doing our parties, most people dressed up and a few did not. At last year's party, I was very pleased that one person who absolutely never liked dressing up, actually came in full costume. It felt good that he finally was comfortable enough to let his inner child out for the evening.

That said, the worst offenders are at our teen party for my kids. Barely half dress up. The rest are afraid to be uncool.


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## VampKat (Aug 4, 2014)

I won't lie. I "resorted" to bribery. Best costume gets a prize. And I always made it worth $50 or more to really encourage it, too. And I told them, flat out, no costume, no entry. One girl just showed up with fairy wings one year just to get in the door. Lame, yes, but she had something, ya know? Then there was another year that several of them got together and came up with a group costume. I ended up with the entire cast of Rocky Horror in my living room. The prize went to Dr. Frank, because he actually shaved his legs for it. All the way up.

If that wasn't commitment, I don't know what is.


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## dbruner (Aug 23, 2012)

I always put "costumes encouraged" on the invitations, about 3/4 of the people wear them, the rest make an effort by wearing black or fallish colors. No one, however belittles costumes or those who wear them. That's just mean!


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## matrixmom (Oct 29, 2010)

How about no costume, no booze? haha

I have a trunk that has ALL KINDS of costumes. Wigs, hats, eyeglasses,capes,etc. you name it. I put it by the door - didnt bring a costume? take one - they are free before you enter the party.


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## ichasiris (Aug 8, 2014)

GiggleingGhost said:


> Boo everyone,
> 
> I ran into the wife of one of hub's friends from work and she ask if we were going to have a Halloween party. "Yes we are" I say excitedly! "You don't expect people to dress up in goofy costumes do you? Are you going to have stupid activities too?" WWwwwwWWWWhhhhhhaaaaaatttttttt? Sniff . . . sniff . . . we like all the above and yes we are.
> 
> ...


If someone had come up to me and asked me that blatantly and LITERALLY used the term "stupid activities" I would seriously NOT invite them. How effing disrespectful, because I put A LOT of time, energy, effort and money into my Halloween party and people like that simply just do not deserve to be at my glorious gathering. I wouldn't want that person eating my food, drinking my drinks and poo-pooing everything. Ain't NOBODY got time for that. Obligation or not, I don't have issue with banning negative people.


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## punkineater (Apr 26, 2014)

At our party, No Costume=No Entry. It's mandantory & says so on the invitation. We're going on 9 years now, 
it's no surprise to anyone who knows us. If we do any games, they are strictly voluntary.
I 100% agree with ichasiris~ I bust my butt all year building new props, and
a full 2 months of set up prep prior to the haunt/party, not to mention the $$ spent, byjeebers they can put on a freakin costume!!! And with that womans attitude, she would've been immediately voted off my island, hubby's friend or not.
We've had a few party poopers in the past, and they simply just don't get invited back. 
This party is for everybody, including my husband and I, to have FUN. Not to babysit the people who just don't get it.
That probably didn't help any, GG, but it sure felt good to rant a little  It's just one crazy womans opinion. You gotta do
what feels right for you.
I wish you luck!!!


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## Download (Jul 29, 2014)

I'm struggling a bit with this one myself, especially here in Aus where costumes aren't such a big thing. I'm hoping it won't be TOO much of a problem, most of the people who will attend are fairly fun loving and those few that don't wear a costume will cop a "Killjoy" sign to wear around their neck all night. Unless they elect to choose some dress up items from my (fairly small) stash. 
I might restock it with some face paints and cheap 'arrow through the head' style stuff, but I figure a big annoying sign around their neck would be inconvenient and annoying so I'm hoping that the few that elect to go with the sign will change their minds and frock up 

Honestly, it doesn't take a lot of effort to pull out a suit and make a fake monocle or bung on some cheap zombie make up. For those that are a bit shy they'll be able to pull out a headband or a few cheapie necklaces out of the box and not make themselves too conspicuous. And finally because most of the people that will be there are from work I'm going to use good old peer pressure. Most of the ones that will attend will likely bug those that are less inclined to dress up so they'll do a lot of my work for me


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## QueenHalloween (Oct 9, 2013)

I guess we have been fortunate enough to let peer pressure run its course. Now, people plan elaborate costumes in hopes of being the best dressed. 

Just put your energy into hanging out with and rewarding those that choose to participate. Costume contest rewards, prizes for games and countless comments from others on "how awesome that costume is" will definitely be enough to encourage participation for years to come. 

On a side note, I have no idea how someone who does not want to dress up or play "stupid games" can actually enjoy themselves at a Halloween Party. Why bother coming at all? I feel your frustration


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## GiggleingGhost (Aug 10, 2014)

***UPDATE*** Karma is a witch and that witch is my best friend!!!! My sides are aching and I had to run into the parking lot before I spoke one word. I was at the grocery store (busy Friday night at our house) and the woman that smarted off about our party was in a fight with her husband. As I live and breath . . . he was telling her to stop being such a witch about the party, us and in general. how could she say such a thing to their friends! I would've stayed longer but I didn't want to get busted.  I wonder what she'll be dressed up as??? Lol.

I must've done something right in this old life after all . . . giggle . . . snort . . . giggle!!! Toe dancing in Mid-Mo!!!

GiggleingGhost . . . aka . . . GG


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## PirateDex (Jun 25, 2014)

The GREAT PUMPKIN knows all....


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## ichasiris (Aug 8, 2014)

GiggleingGhost said:


> ***UPDATE*** Karma is a witch and that witch is my best friend!!!! My sides are aching and I had to run into the parking lot before I spoke one word. I was at the grocery store (busy Friday night at our house) and the woman that smarted off about our party was in a fight with her husband. As I live and breath . . . he was telling her to stop being such a witch about the party, us and in general. how could she say such a thing to their friends! I would've stayed longer but I didn't want to get busted.  I wonder what she'll be dressed up as??? Lol.
> 
> I must've done something right in this old life after all . . . giggle . . . snort . . . giggle!!! Toe dancing in Mid-Mo!!!
> 
> GiggleingGhost . . . aka . . . GG


It's too bad there is no swearing on the boards or else I would use a word that rhymes with grunt about that annoying old hag. Ugh, go celebrate Christmas or something lady! That's what I'd really like to say to her, ahahahaha.


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## dawnski (Jun 16, 2012)

I saw this pic and thought of this thread. You can only do so much for party poopers. Let them stay boring.


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## Minshe (Jul 7, 2011)

Maybe someone should come up with an official Killjoy or PartyPooper costume that is clearly labeled that on the front--like a long black robe or something similar. Maybe a sash/banner with one of those titles on it--that is given at the door to those without a costume. Take their picture and post it on Facebook and maybe next year they will choose to wear some kind of costume or not attend. Maybe only those in costume get food and drink....can you tell I think everyone should wear a costume--why go to a Halloween costume party if you do not want to wear a costume? I understand that some people may not want to do games, for numerous reasons, but if you are invited to a costume party you should either wear a costume or not go. If you are invited to a black tie event are you going to show up in jeans because you don't like wearing formal items? You play by the host's rules when you are invited to a party or you decline the invitation--seems pretty simple. If you need help with a costume I am sure almost any host would offer to help--you could even put that on your invitation. I have had friends who were struggling with costumes and I opened my costume closet to them--I have never had anyone not wear a costume of some sort.


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## zombieprincess (Nov 1, 2013)

So glad Karma caught up with her. I probably wouldn't have been able to hold my tongue if someone asked if we were dressing up or playing "silly" games.


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## Danny-Girl (Aug 29, 2012)

I keep a party pooper costume hanging at the door plus a donation box for money( homeless children) I do let all of my guest know about this so one one is in shock if that person still act an A-- I don't have any problem kicking them out my home. Listen my friends we put a lot of time and money in our haunt and parties it's Halloween not the 4th of July. Take control of your party and keep it under control


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## Bethany (Apr 3, 2013)

My invitations always say COSTUMES ARE REQUIRED. It's my party, my rules. I've had people say "i'm not going to wear a costume" my response "sorry you'll miss a fun party"


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## GiggleingGhost (Aug 10, 2014)

dawnski said:


> I saw this pic and thought of this thread. You can only do so much for party poopers. Let them stay boring.


I love this!!! I agree Dawnski . . . this should be a shirt! Lolololol


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## GiggleingGhost (Aug 10, 2014)

PirateDex said:


> The GREAT PUMPKIN knows all....



I get chills of joy every time I think about hearing them!!!! Such joy . . .. !!


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## Kngtmre (Jan 9, 2011)

I used to throw a "Crappy Irish Accent" Party for St Patricks Day. For 2 years we had a blast...everyone spoke in a really cheesy accent. We ate, drank, and people had a great time. One year my buddy invited his cousin who thought the idea was dumb and just refused to speak like everyone else. By he end of the night nobody was speaking wife the accent...it killed the party. I simply tell people they MUST wear a costume or I will NOT let them in. About a third of the people coming don't really want to wear a costume and it feel if I allow one person to attend like that the next year there will be more and more until it's just a party like any other day.

I have sent friends away telling them that I couldn't believe they would put me in the position to have to send them home...instead of being mad they actually apologized and felt bad. That happened only the first two years...and since then EVERYONE wears a costume...7 years and going...


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## tomanderson (Dec 6, 2007)

Yeah. If you "have to" invite them, then do so, but simply explain (in print! so they can ponder over it!) that it's a costume party--a simple costume is fine, but wear some sort of costume--and that there will be games, and that's what the party IS. If this doesn't sound appealing to these people, they will find something else to do that evening, and you don't even have to worry about that. They will almost certainly not show up once they understand that your party isn't stodgy and boring like the ones they prefer.


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## SaltwaterServr (Jul 28, 2014)

Hand out goody bags to those who do dress up. For the people who don't, give 'em the crunchy chunks out of a kitty's litter box. If they don't like those, tell 'em they can trade for the chewy chunks if they like.


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## printersdevil (Sep 7, 2009)

The analogy of the formal event is perfect. I just can't believe that anyone would even show up at a costume party without a costume. Even a cheesy one. My husband's best friend hates costumes so when he does come he comes as a golfer. He is an avid golfer, so it is really not a costume. However, we make him either carry a golf bag or club or something around all night! One year he brought one of those signs from the Bryon Nelson that the monitors hold up that say QUIET and carried it around all night. For him this is a big concession. He knows that if he doesn't make the attempt, I will tell him to go home. Some years he comes as the bartender and tends bar for everyone all night. 

Just be sure on your invitation to call it a costume party not just a Halloween party!


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## ichasiris (Aug 8, 2014)

I would even accept someone wearing a shirt with Halloween related pictures on it, or one of those ugly Halloween sweaters, or EVEN one that was orange with black writing that says, "COSTUME." For Pete's sake, I think that would be pretty nice of me!

Or even just like a nice, pretty dress!! Everyone likes to wear pretty stuff, or a suit/tux.


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## Bethany (Apr 3, 2013)

I don't think you have to say you're having a costume party If you put on the invite Costumes Are Required.
My invites usually say __ Annual Halloween Bash


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## Download (Jul 29, 2014)

Kngtmre said:


> I have sent friends away telling them that I couldn't believe they would put me in the position to have to send them home...instead of being mad they actually apologized and felt bad. That happened only the first two years...and since then EVERYONE wears a costume...7 years and going...


I love this idea! Making them feel bad for 'making' you send them away is probably the best thing I've heard yet! I reckon I'll run with that one. "I can't believe you'd make me turn you away, I'm really disappointed. Lucky for you I have this box of dress ups... I hope I have enough for you because I really don't want to see you leave!".
Cue disappointed expression. WIN.


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## Bethany (Apr 3, 2013)

Download said:


> I love this idea! Making them feel bad for 'making' you send them away is probably the best thing I've heard yet! I reckon I'll run with that one. "I can't believe you'd make me turn you away, I'm really disappointed. Lucky for you I have this box of dress ups... I hope I have enough for you because I really don't want to see you leave!".
> Cue disappointed expression. WIN.


I may have to do a "costume" box but fill it with tutus & such


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## Kenneth (Feb 14, 2014)

I think i've garnered enough attention as a Halloweeniac that people KNOW how high a standard I have for costuming. I don't necessarily kick people out of the party or not invite them, but they definitely get a cold shoulder. I absolutely despise people that don't dress up, but I ALSO really dislike lame costumes that people think are "clever" but are really just stupid in my PERSONAL opinion. Things like "red solo cup" costumes or "taco bell packets" or I even saw one on Pinterest where it was a group of girls dressed up as the "pretty little liars" but they were just wearing black dresses and heels and the middle girl had a red "A" duct taped to her torso. 

Maybe i'm overly critical, and I don't mean to offend anyone if you like that sort of style but....I just feel like Halloween is for characters and monsters...not sauce packets and soda cans.


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## PMTT (Oct 13, 2013)

Why do they come then? Free food?
I would just put on the invites, "Choose your costume before you arrive or have it chosen for you at the party!"


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## GiggleingGhost (Aug 10, 2014)

diajoh said:


> Written invitations that say costumes are mandatory, that the party will be filled with activities and games -- no time for idleness. Say that those in no costumes will be turned away at the door, and ask (in the invitation) for help from all party-goers in enforcing that rule.
> Yes, you have to invite them, but once they are in the door (if they make it that far), ignore them. Let them sit in the corner and pout. Or put a TV tray and two folding chairs in another room and let them have their own party. Sh!t, decorate it like a tomb and lock them in.



Hey wait a minute! If anyone gets a decorated tomb . . . it's me!!! Lol. They can have the side porch and darn if that backdoor sticks . . . closed!!


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## GiggleingGhost (Aug 10, 2014)

Kenneth said:


> I think i've garnered enough attention as a Halloweeniac that people KNOW how high a standard I have for costuming. I don't necessarily kick people out of the party or not invite them, but they definitely get a cold shoulder. I absolutely despise people that don't dress up, but I ALSO really dislike lame costumes that people think are "clever" but are really just stupid in my PERSONAL opinion. Things like "red solo cup" costumes or "taco bell packets" or I even saw one on Pinterest where it was a group of girls dressed up as the "pretty little liars" but they were just wearing black dresses and heels and the middle girl had a red "A" duct taped to her torso.
> 
> Maybe i'm overly critical, and I don't mean to offend anyone if you like that sort of style but....I just feel like Halloween is for characters and monsters...not sauce packets and soda cans.


Hey Kenneth,

Nothing wrong with being a purest with high expectations. 99% of our friends enjoy coming in costume and come up with some pretty clever costumes. The guy is fine and fun it's just his wife that was the pain. Oh say . . . maybe we should all circle around them without warning and start chanting "no costume . . . new meat" as we begin moving in ever faster circle around them. Oh be still my heart!!!! Can you imagine how freaked out they'd be??? 

GiggleingGhost . . . aka . . . GG


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## GiggleingGhost (Aug 10, 2014)

printersdevil said:


> The analogy of the formal event is perfect. I just can't believe that anyone would even show up at a costume party without a costume. Even a cheesy one. My husband's best friend hates costumes so when he does come he comes as a golfer. He is an avid golfer, so it is really not a costume. However, we make him either carry a golf bag or club or something around all night! One year he brought one of those signs from the Bryon Nelson that the monitors hold up that say QUIET and carried it around all night. For him this is a big concession. He knows that if he doesn't make the attempt, I will tell him to go home. Some years he comes as the bartender and tends bar for everyone all night.
> 
> Just be sure on your invitation to call it a costume party not just a Halloween party!


I agree printersdevil about making sure the invitation is clear like Bethany's very clever "lab coat" does. It says plain as day . . . costumes required!


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## Zoemorgan2 (Aug 4, 2011)

All of my friends and family usually dress up, but it always used to seem like at least one or two friend's husbands wouldn't do it. So....a few years ago I spray painted 6 plain white baseball hats flourescent orange. I painted the words "Party Pooper" on it and glued on fake dog poop. The two guys that didn't dress up were "peer pressured" into wearing them ALL NIGHT. It was very funny! Now I take the hats out of storage every year, just in case BUT I haven't had to use them again in about 3 years - LOL. I also give prizes and trophies for Best costumes. As far as games, I usually do about 20 trivia questions ( according to my theme) throughout the night. Everyone wants to join in on that - candy bar or $1 scratchoff prizes. Let's face it, get a few drinks in people and they think they know everything... LOL


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## bettyboop (Jul 24, 2010)

I don't invite them again. And everyone knows that because I have said it in the past. I tell them that I go through a lot of effort and expense and would like everyone in costume. It is perfectly okay if "you" don't want to dress and I will invite "you" to other events, just not my Halloween party. Each year the costumes just get better and better. And I have a house full.


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## Guest (Sep 6, 2014)

Costuming on Halloween is not just something a brilliant business person came up with to form a multi-million (or is it billion?) dollar industry. If you do enough research you might find that people in Europe wore animal skins to disguise themselves from the evil spirits that came up to haunt them on Halloween. (I am generalizing a bit). 

I know that what we do today, as far as costume parties, is a far cry from the original motive. It's also a lot more fun. Either way, I think my costumes do the trick quite well, thank you! ;-)

Some commercial and non-profit Halloween parties require anyone and everyone to be in costume to be allowed in. I saw one website that said if they can't tell that you're wearing some kind of costume don't even bother showing up. 

Okay, here is what I say if you feel sorry for those who are fuddy-duddies and show up without costumes: have them make a dunce hat and make them wear it the whole time they're at the party. Or... have them empty the trash and carry it around the whole time they're there and they can be garbagemen. (First come, first served) If you don't feel sorry for them tell them to 'go big or go home.'

That's all I have to say about that.


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## kittyvibe (Oct 27, 2008)

what can you do if your own significant other doesnt want to dress up? My man used to, but last couple years he complains about having to wear anything and he would rather just not do it. One year he finally put the costume on halfway through the party but only for 10 minutes.  

I asked him about this year and he keeps saying he doesnt want to dress up for either my moms Halloween dinner or my party we have at our house. (Its a circus/clown theme and he wants to be nothing or extremely low key). Im thinking about painting a shirt with something like party pooper but disguised to blend in with rainbow colors and clown/circus motifs. I really dont know how to get him into the spirit.


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## Download (Jul 29, 2014)

Kitty, if it were my OH I'd say I'd find him a really basic costume that won't make him stand out. Then I'd find the worst, most nanna-ish floral shirt and skirt combo I could possibly get my hands on at an Op Shop. I'd also buy a better 'normal' costume for him. Then when the night rocked around I'd hand him the nanna set and say "here you go, I thought because you didn't want to stand out you'd like to be dressed as a wall flower!". 

Then after the horror had sunk in, I'd tell him that I thought he might like the option of wearing something a bit different and give him the other costume. If nothing else it might scare him into getting into the spirit without prompting in the future .


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## Bethany (Apr 3, 2013)

have another idea for those of you that have a "costume" box. Would require an iron on, but what the heck.
Find a picture of a Port-a-Potty & make an iron on that says "THE ORIGINAL PARTY POOPER" on a bright neon PINK T-shirt. 

I cannot take credit for the saying or the idea, it used to be a billboard in Toledo, Ohio on a busy road until the then mayor had it removed. He didn't like it. I loved it, gave me a good laugh every time we drove by!


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## psox16 (Jun 6, 2009)

Wow, I am so grateful that I am friends with people who like costumes! I almost never have this problem. My guests are almost always excited about wearing costumes to my parties. Every once in a while, somebody new asks if they HAVE to wear a costume. I tell them "No, you don't have to, but you'll stick out like a sore thumb if you don't." They usually put something simple on and that's fine with me. I also have a lot of confident friends who are completely comfortable geeking out for the evening, so the costume contest gets pretty intense and I LOVE it. 

I've found that the people who tend to put down other people for activities like wearing costumes on Halloween (or even being a fan of something that could potentially be considered geeky or nerdy like Dr. Who, Star Wars, or comic books), are really insecure about themselves. They need to put other people down to raise themselves up. I really just feel sorry for them, because life is way more fun when you aren't afraid of letting people know you like something. They are gonna be the ones sitting in a corner not having fun, while everybody else is having a blast. 

I should also note that I have a good friend that agrees to come to my Halloween parties even though her religion does not believe in Halloween. She doesn't come in costume, but she is by no means a party pooper. She also never puts down anybody who does, she's a real adult about. She mingles and drinks and has fun like everybody else, and I would never feel comfortable pressuring her into wearing a costume. I'm just glad she comes.


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## The Feejee Merman (Sep 14, 2014)

I like to put "No Perpetual Grown Ups" in my invitations. Seems to get the message across.


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## Combatdre (Aug 10, 2013)

I always put a disclosure at the bottom of the invitation saying no costume, no booze... I also make it clear that if they are bringing a guest, they better be in costume too .... It's all about what you want for your party. If I'm opening my house, buying drinks, food, and decorating to create ambiance they better follow my rules... Lol... Basically it's my way or the highway, I've never had a guest show up without a costume. Even if it was cat ears and whiskers ....


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## raykozzz (Sep 16, 2014)

Throughout university I would always throw halloween parties and only half of the people would get dressed up. Sometimes I would just buy witch hats or creepy props that they could wear. People should stop acting too cool for school and should at least throw something little on.


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## nathancarter (Aug 7, 2012)

I wrote the following for our party last year:
Costumes are strongly encouraged. If you don't own a costume, one will be provided for you. Also, if you don't own a costume, please take a few moments to consider what you've done wrong with your life. Are you sure you're looking at the right invitation? Do I even know you?


Most of my invited friends have no problem being goofy and silly. It's a pretty broad mix of people, but the majority have some sort of background or interest in theater or costuming/cosplay. That makes it pretty easy to make sure everyone is in costume.
...sometimes the people who came in costume will raid the "provided" costume bin anyway, especially after the drinks start flowing.


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## Bethany (Apr 3, 2013)

nathancarter said:


> I wrote the following for our party last year:
> Costumes are strongly encouraged. If you don't own a costume, one will be provided for you. Also, if you don't own a costume, please take a few moments to consider what you've done wrong with your life. Are you sure you're looking at the right invitation? Do I even know you?
> 
> 
> ...


I love it!! May have to add that to my invites this year, if you don't mind.


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## JennWakely (Jun 19, 2012)

its infuriating that you go to all the work of decorating, making invites, putting on your own costume and making said activities etc, just for some snob to turn their nose up at it and can't even bother to put on a five dollar costume from Wal-mart. Don't invite her.


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## Ghost Ninja (Aug 25, 2013)

The bottom line is she shouldn't be there if she is going to be a buzz kill. So I would really let her know how much fun and excitement there will be and that the silly games will have everyone rolling on the floor. That should actually scare her away if she really is unable to have fun with others or at all. Then give her an easy out by telling her that you understand if she can't make it. 

You will either scare her away and let her off the hook (and your work obligations) or she will come fully prepared and maybe a little willing to have some fun. I would think that she would happen to have a "headache" that night and apologize later. I don't think it's in your job description as Party Hostess to fix her issues. But making sure others have fun is. I think it's something like 2.5% of the population are nearly unfixable jerks that want to destroy others anyways. Maybe she is one of them. Don't let a rotten apple into your barrel of Halloween fun!!!


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## zosob80 (Sep 5, 2012)

We usually have only one or two that show up in street clothes and when we do our prizes for the costume contest, we give whoever didn't show up "The Buster Award" which consists of a certificate and then everyone gangs up on them and sprays them with silly string. Messy, but fun.


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## mamadada (Aug 18, 2008)

My 11 DS told me that a couple of the boys said they weren't dressing up for his party this year. I'm really upset by this. We threw a party for 8th graders last year and they all dressed up. Any advise on how to nip this anti-social bevior in the bud?


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## Tiffany78 (Sep 17, 2014)

*new here*

HI, I am new here, but I had to jump right in and respond! We throw an annual open house (open invite to anyone we know so they can bring friends etc) We ALWAYS encourage costumes and and I highly agree with the idea of having left over pieces parts of previous years costumes available. Some people are not creative or are too "last minute" about things, but I have found that even just offering a silly hat helps get them in the spirit. We normally have tons of extra things and make up etc available so people that come unprepared can participate at whatever level they feel comfortable (last year I completely did up a friend from head to toe with complete make-up included). This year I am seriously contemplating giving out best costume awards INCLUDING "best last minute costume"! and I think that will also encourage our attendees to dress up!

We don't do games but we live in a college town that has a huge downtown halloween event that coincides with our open house so that gives us the benefit of not having to fill the entire evening. People can come, eat, drink, enjoy, then go downtown for the festivities (we are in walking distance) and then return at any point for more refreshments and socialization, so I have no advice on that type of party pooper!


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## ScaryCanuck (Sep 13, 2010)

I don't get why you wouldn't dress up. That is the best part of Halloween, being able to dress up, act like a fool, and be encouraged to do it, even win prizes for being the best at being ridiculous


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## mamadada (Aug 18, 2008)

We had DSs party last Friday night. About 70 kids showed up. About 5 were not in costume. No one thought they were cooler like they thought they were. They just missed out on the fun!


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## obcessedwithit (Jul 13, 2009)

I have a slack a.s.s award to the person I choose that does not dress. It is usually the person that has come for 2 or more times and not dressed up. As you say everyone knows it is a costume party and after 14 years you should get the hint. I just don't let it get to me like I use to. We all still have fun and that is what it is all about for me any way. I once told my friend i do this decorating etc for me and if no one comes I am still having fun regardless.


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## TheMonsterSquad (Oct 8, 2012)

mamadada said:


> We had DSs party last Friday night. About 70 kids showed up. About 5 were not in costume. No one thought they were cooler like they thought they were. They just missed out on the fun!


Yeah this is a key point for me. I just put "costumes required" on the invite and let it go at that. The majority of my party attendees love to dress up, and inevitably the couple people who don't wear costumes end up feeling out of place and like a buzzkill. They usually get some gentle teasing from other attendees as well. I've had several people who didn't wear a costume the first year they came, come back the next year fully decked out. I don't try to force it, I would be worried about stoking resentment and coming across as the overcontrolling party host if I called people party-poopers to their face, or tried to make them wear a dunce cap or a dorky costume of my choosing, or anything like that. I think there are enough natural consequences to not wearing a costume to mostly take care of the problem. However, there are some people who are just no fun and are seemingly immune to the social pressure of being the only one not wearing a costume - those people I don't invite back. If someone comes two years in a row without a costume I don't invite them again.


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## Shannie-Boo (Oct 15, 2009)

I used to get really mad at those people and really let it get to me. One year I even had a bowl of glasses/mustaches/hats/noses for the non costumers. But this year will be our 13 annual party and the costume aspect has totally taken on a life of its own. Our party has become legendary and people know before they're even invited that you've got to bring it with your costume otherwise you'll feel dumb. No one even asks anymore. And every once in a while there is someone new who tries it with me and I tell them straight: "costumes are required, but we won't kick you out, you'll just feel stupid because EVERYONE gets into it". In 13 years, we've had 1 person come without a costume. She felt totally out of place and awkward.


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## mysterymaiden (Aug 11, 2008)

With Halloween approaching, we hosts do our best to get our guests into the festivities and embrace our theme, whatever that may be. But for most of us, there is usually those one or two people who just can't, or won't, play. For any theme party, and especially a Halloween costume party, keep a few extra costumes on hand for those who forget (I have a tickle truck for all my costumes from past years) who couldn't put something together in time or who only realized they could come at the last minute. If you have options for your non-costumed guests, you increase the chance that they will get on board and embrace the fun!


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## kittyvibe (Oct 27, 2008)

my brother has traditionally come to my party (and my mothers) without a costume. I think those of us with family who refuse are harder to persuade. Last year he showed up in some militant type war gear with a fake bomb vest and handkerchief mask. I was happy because I thought , "finally, hes dressing up!" but who knows if he will do something this year, he does plan to attend. 

Now my BF who I live with is saying he wants to dress up as my brother this year. (meaning come as nothing). I asked earlier in this thread but didnt see anyone mention what I can do or what others might have done for their significant other to be more in the holiday spirit and dress up. 

I might get him to wear a Halloween T-Shirt, but hes so snooty about stuff like that he will say he doesnt like it and not wear anything at all. (We have to go out and buy it still)


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## dawnski (Jun 16, 2012)

I have a Pinterest board for last minute Halloween costumes. Most are no brainers and at least it would look like he tried--a little. http://www.pinterest.com/zim2/costumes-last-minute/


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## kittyvibe (Oct 27, 2008)

thanks dawnski, I like the "aliens" guy one, lol.


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## GiggleingGhost (Aug 10, 2014)

kittyvibe said:


> Now my BF who I live with is saying he wants to dress up as my brother this year. (meaning come as nothing). I asked earlier in this thread but didnt see anyone mention what I can do or what others might have done for their significant other to be more in the holiday spirit and dress up.
> 
> I might get him to wear a Halloween T-Shirt, but hes so snooty about stuff like that he will say he doesnt like it and not wear anything at all. (We have to go out and buy it still)



Hi kittyvibe,

I feel your pain and I understand what you're going through. As for an answer . . . I wish I had one. My sister is exactly the same way and I've yet to find a way to get her to like or do a costume other than a witch hat and I have to provide that! I guess I'd suggest that you tell bf how much it means to you and talk with him to see if you can find out what his reasons are to hang back. I've talked to my sister until I'm blue in the face and all she'll do is snarl that 'she just doesn't like to' which of course is absolutely nooooooooooooo help in understanding her position. Let's face it . . . not everyone can be as fun as we costume wearer's are! LOLOLOL. 
Good luck and tell us if you have any success! 
GG


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## IshWitch (May 19, 2006)

I'd leave the poopers at home and tell them sorry, but it is costume mandatory and you'll tell them all about it tomorrow


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## scareme (Jan 18, 2009)

Of all the fights I've had to fight over Halloween, this is the one I've given in over. I've had to fight for props, money, storage, candy, you name it, we've fought over it. There is no way I'm going to get him in a costume, so I let this one go. And I'm not sure anyone else cares what he is or isn't wearing. (Does that sound right?) And I'd never threaten him with staying home. He'd take me up on that so fast my head would spin, and there would go my designated driver for the night.


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## Pumpkin5 (May 17, 2012)

I always send invitations that say "Costume Required"..... Honestly?! If you are invited to someone's house for a party and you too slack to put yourself out just a wee bit by putting on some makeup or scrounging up some sort of costume, then you don't deserve to be invited. Some people just don't want to bother which makes it difficult. I think of it this way, my party, my rules....put on a costume or don't come! It's Halloween for goodness sakes!


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## internet troll (Nov 7, 2014)

I take a slightly different view here. If I invite someone to a party it's because I like them and enjoy their company. Sure it would be nice for everyone to dress up for a costume party, but honestly getting dressed up is outside some peoples comfort zone, it's who they are. No skin off my nose. 

And honestly, most people who show up to a costume party without a costume will probably feel out of place real soon especially after being asked a dozen times why they did not dress up. They will probably choose not to attend any costume parties in the future, or will change their thinking and get dressed up next time. I and the rest of my guests who appreciate costume parties will have fun despite their decision.


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## Gym Whourlfeld (Jan 22, 2003)

Buy a cheap toilet seat and hang it around their neck= s"Party Pooper!"
As about a 6th grader I asked "Connie" my classmate, why she hadn't put on some kind of costumes as we were all standing in the Sun waiting for the parade to start?
Then I noticed her Brother Gary didn't have on a costume either? These two had a limited "wardrobe".
A few seconds later I realized they had swapped clothes ! Gary and Connie did look a lot alike and were still the same height!
I was So Impressed with their" Chameleon-costumes",hiding in plain sight!


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## HalloweenKitten (May 30, 2015)

While it is your party, you are inviting them (whether you feel pressured or not) and you should be a gracious host. Not everyone loves Halloween like the members here and since you are inviting them you need to respect that. Simply state on the invitations that costumes are required and let them make the decision to come or not. If they show up without costumes, either have some little something handy like a cat ear headband or allow them to feel like the odd man out when everyone else is wearing a costume. Either way you tried to include them and it will be their own decision to have a good time or not show up.

Most importantly don't let it worry you. Enjoy your party!!


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## katshead42 (Aug 5, 2010)

I've ran into this issue as well. We don't really play games but costumes are mandatory. We give prizes for best costume and over the years the costumes have gotten more and more awesome. I have sent paper invites and done a basic online invite, no matter which type of invites I send they say "wear a costume or stay home".


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## rachelesmith (Aug 4, 2015)

My first Halloween party last year I put "costume party" on the invitation. While I was around my friends in the month leading up to halloween, some of my girlfriends seemed stressed about what to wear and howuch money they could spend on a costume. I started to feel bad that i was putting somewhat of a financial burden on everyone by requiring costumes. This year I just put "costumes optional". Some people love dressing up, some just don't want to put in the time or money which is totally fine with me!


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## Bethany (Apr 3, 2013)

People just need to use their imaginations!! Some of the best costumes I've seen were done for very little to no money. 
Costumes ALWAYS required at our house.


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## melissa (Jul 23, 2004)

As I stated in post 2, we had our first "costume" party last year. Only one "pooper*" and I've had a little talk with his wife for this year. Nothing antagonistic, just pointed out that the invitations provided a clear out - all he had to do was say that he was there as a zombie apocalypse survivor and he was golden. There were varying degrees of involvement, but everyone else did get into the spirit of the thing. 

We're doing the same thing this year - providing a creative "out" for the poopers. They're not likely to be in running for a prize and no effort = no chance at all. 

I did have one issue that I'll start a thread for. Just to hear more stories.

*small guest list


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## rachelesmith (Aug 4, 2015)

Yikes...are the people you are turning away for not being in costume your friends? I can't imagine doing something like that. I'm not hosting the inaugural ball...it's a halloween party withy close friends...maybe some people need to get a grip. Unless you're giving away some pretty elaborate gifts, these people are doing you a favor by showing up to your party. During October there are many parties going on. A proper host should count it a privilege to have guests at their party.


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## melissa (Jul 23, 2004)

rachelesmith said:


> Yikes...are the people you are turning away for not being in costume your friends? I can't imagine doing something like that. I'm not hosting the inaugural ball...it's a halloween party withy close friends...maybe some people need to get a grip. Unless you're giving away some pretty elaborate gifts, these people are doing you a favor by showing up to your party. During October there are many parties going on. A proper host should count it a privilege to have guests at their party.


Not sure who this was for. I don't turn anyone away. People that don't wear costumes are welcome, they're just left out of some of the fun, by natural consequence: they can't get a prize for best costume, and can't compare notes with the costume-wearers. I figure that's enough - if they don't care and don't wear a costume the next time, they'd still be invited again. (ETA: unless there are other circumstances. There are behaviors that would get people booted, like snooping through closed-off rooms, stealing, etc.)

For bigger, fancier parties thrown by other hosts, I can understand the frustration. It's clearly a costume party, for Halloween, so why go if you hate Halloween, or can't put forth a little effort? Most hosts are open to requests for advice, so if someone is totally at a loss, they could ask for hints/advice. I can see how not showing up in costume could be considered by the host as being openly antagonistic.


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## rachelesmith (Aug 4, 2015)

When I was reading through the posts I saw a couple say guests are turned away with no costume, one saying if they come without a costume "no costume no entrance". To each their own I just can't even fathom telling someone at the door that they aren't allowed in because they aren't wearing a costume...unless I'm willing to lose that friend permanently and look like a snot.


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## Bethany (Apr 3, 2013)

rachelesmith said:


> When I was reading through the posts I saw a couple say guests are turned away with no costume, one saying if they come without a costume "no costume no entrance". To each their own I just can't even fathom telling someone at the door that they aren't allowed in because they aren't wearing a costume...unless I'm willing to lose that friend permanently and look like a snot.


I may have been one of those and Everyone knows that costumes are required. That is me. The invitations state it. I am not asking people to go out and buy an elaborate costume, but it is MY party. People who are invited know me & Halloween so no one shows up without a costume.


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## rachelesmith (Aug 4, 2015)

Like I said, to each their own, I guess at the age my friends are (mid 20s) they don't put much effort into anything but their own interests so I either have to accept it or have no one show up lol


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## ThatMOM (Aug 2, 2015)

Well for us...everyone knows we will be dressed... most of our family friends show dressed and I just give the pooper crap all night for not being dressed. Lol.....however, on the same note one year we didn't have a theme...well the husbands didn't dress at all....1 husband shows up as Thor...hammer, wig and allllll, would have been great and A OK...but it was like a jumpsuit type a 5yo would wear over his jeans lol....that was horrible...we were like omg please take it off! Still to this day Thoris not looked at the same.


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## ThakingDbb (Aug 27, 2009)

Prizes. Show that you really enjoy their costumes even if they're terrible specially if they tried, and take lots of pictures and post them on social media and people will clown them for not being dressed for you.


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## BadgerSpanner (Apr 27, 2015)

I have a dress-up box, the party pooper is cajoled into doing a lucky dip and wearing whatever they pull from the box. It's usually a dodgy wig or mask, they turn up dressed-up next time


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## Carrie Baugus (Aug 18, 2015)

Wait, who doesn't WANT to wear a costume to a Halloween party? I feel fortunate that I know absolutely no one like this. Even my most humbug friend makes a *little* effort (actually, his worst costume was kind of lazy-brilliant).

I try to have a bucket full of props for people to take pictures with (capes, masks, wands, whatever) -- anyone who shows up without a costume better be prepared for me to deck them out in whatever is on hand. :-|


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